A Friend Just Said Her Sister Has Stage 4 Breast Cancer

Stage 4 or advanced is the worst. This is a highly invasive type and likely she will not make it. I am sure thats why she is spending a lot of time with her. Her sisters time is limited. At this advanced its usually spread to other parts of the body now. Just say your thoughts are with her, or if you pray that you include them every night. Be there for her. Tell her that you will do what you can to help. Then let her have her time and understand she may not be able to make functions or answer calls for awhile

Stage 4 is most likely terminal. It has mostly likely spread to lymph nodes and when that happens it spreads to the rest of the body. There is a small chance that the sister will survive. Just let your friend know that you are there for her if she needs to talk, vent, be distracted for a bit, needs some help with housework, whatever. Then be understanding if you call or email and she doesn't get back to you immediately.

It's serious-but no longer means fatal-just means the fight is going to be harder. Offer to help with children and meals so she can spend more time with her sister-don't take no for an answer. God Bless.

This is bad. IF she decides to go through treatment.. It will only prolong her life for a very short time. And she will have suffered through all of the terrible treatments.

Do always ask how she is doing, ask how you can help.. and then ask how her sister is doing.

Offer to watch your friends children. Offer to help her with her chores at home..

whatever you can do so she can concentrate on the time left with her sister.

Stage four is definitely not what you want to hear. I don't think there's a stage five.

If I were in your place, I would definitely say something to the friend - probably when the party guests are doing something else, because I wouldn't know how much she has told her own children. I would ask how her sister is doing, and let her volunteer what information about her sister's condition she chooses. I might say, "I've never experienced that in my family - and I hope I never will - but if there's something I can do for her, or for you, please let me know." And I'd have to mean it. For instance, I might need to be willing to have the friend's children over for a while so she could be with her sister.

I might also call her every couple of weeks and just ask how things are going. It isn't necessary to have knowledge or advice. Sometimes a listening, sympathetic ear is needed most.

People often say nothing when they don't know what to say. But, in their caution not to say the wrong thing, they come across as not caring. So don't be afraid to open your mouth. It's necessary to *show* that we care, not just feel it.

My DIL's father was diagnosed with another type of cancer last year, and he was given a very bad prognosis almost right away. He's still alive, amazingly, but we all know there isn't a whole lot of time left. There isn't anything I can do for him, but DIL is glad when I check with her to ask how her dad is doing.

Yes, this will most likely be terminal for her. Some people go years at this stage though so there IS some hope. Heartbreaking news though. THIS is the face of breast cancer-not a smiling woman with a pink ribbon fighting hard and 'surviving'. Its a terrible horrible disease that can strike as stage 4 during your first mammo or go years at stage 1 only to find out its in your bones and boom-you are stage 4. Women with this disease are faced with the fear of this EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Absolutely say something to her. I still to this day have friends that never even asked me how I am and they all know about my BC. . I felt grateful for the people who did have the courage to speak to me about it. So ask her how she is feeling and tell her how sorry you are to hear about it. Tell her she will be in her prayers. Whatever you do do not tell her that attitude is everything. Because many people with BC do NOT have the attitude of the women used in BC PR shots. We are sad/angry/hopeless and many more emotions all rolled into one. Many times we are not feeling very positive and to imply that we should be is insulting.

I would offer to watch your friends kids when she needs to be with her sister.

This is very sad news.
Cancer is categorized in 5 stages, from Stage 0, I, II, III, and IV. The higher the number the more severe. Roman numerals are used. IDK why.

Here's a clip:
Stage IV

Stage IV describes invasive breast cancer that has spread beyond the breast and nearby lymph nodes to other organs of the body, such as the lungs, distant lymph nodes, skin, bones, liver, or brain.

You may hear the words “advanced” and “metastatic” used to describe stage IV breast cancer. Cancer may be stage IV at first diagnosis or it can be a recurrence of a previous breast cancer that has spread to other parts of the body.

Your friends sister does not have a long future. And your friend will probably under go extensive testing herself now, to determine genetics and likelihood of developing breast cancer herself.

Sorry.

Had a friend with stage 4 breast cancer fifteen years ago. Had mets to bones etc. she is now a grandma of a beautiful baby girl and cancer free.
Medicine has come far. The mind body connection is important. Just wanted to share some positive info. God bless.

The best thing you can do is offer your services. Let her know that if she needs help of any kind including running a vaccum cleaner, making meals, or being a good listener; you'll be there.