A 15 Week Old Who Still Refuses a Bottle.......

Updated on May 02, 2008
C.M. asks from Cape Girardeau, MO
28 answers

I'm the proud parent of a very beautiful, sweet, giggly and STRONG WILLED 3 1/2 month old. I am breastfeeding and in the hospital the lactation consultant said "no bottles or pacifiers for the first 30 days minimum". Therefore she was strictly breastfed from the time she was born. After the initial month I tried pacifiers and to this day she still refuses. I did however offer the bottle which she took. Once I saw that she would take a bottle a few times here and there, I stopped giving them to her. I figured while I'm here I don't want to waste the milk supply I'm storing for when I return to work. Now, now my child REFUSES the bottle. She will cry to the point of exhaustion and go to sleep. I've tried everything. Having someone else give her the bottle, walking with her, I've tried every kind of bottle you can think of...with no avail. The lactation consultant finally said that if she gets hungry enough she will eat. NO SHE WON'T. She was with my mom who tried giving her a bottle and my child would rather sleep than take it. She'd wake up, my mom would defrost some breastmilk, Gracie would cry for 30-45 minutes and go to sleep. A couple of hours later she woke up, my mother defrosted some more breastmilk and again she cried to the point of exhaustion. This continued until I got there to feed her - 12 hours later!. My daughter went almost 14 hours without eating!!! I cried the whole time I fed her... My biggest dilemma is that I HAVE to go out of town overnight this weekend and she is still refusing. I don't know what to do. If ANYONE out there has ANY advice, I'm all ears.

Thanks for reading and thank you VERY Much for the help

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So What Happened?

Thank you so very much to everyone who helped with my problem.

I haven't gone through the messages to individually thank those whose specific advice did the trick, but here is a general thank you to all who helped!

What we found to first work was the fact that my daughter seems to NOT LIKE thawed breastmilk. If I pumped and refrigerated and later gave a warmed bottle, she immediately took it. The second thing I found that works was a drop of corn syrup too if she wouldn't finish or was fussy. Also, if the milk cooled in the slightest I would have to run it under warm water again to re-warm it.

Thank you everyone. You have no idea how appreciative I am to all of your responses. It was nice knowing that I wasn't the only one with this problem.

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K.W.

answers from St. Louis on

You can try syringe feeding her or putting it in a sippy cup. I would use one of the ones from Walmart that has the soft silicone top and no stopper NUBY, I believe. Go to kellymom.com and see what is offered there. It is a great breastfeeding website.

Good Luck

~*~K.~*~

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B.W.

answers from Kansas City on

My son is very distracted... so unless he is in a "sleepy mode" he will not eat... not even from my breast... try feeding her when she is falling as sleep and she is exhausted from crying. She will be more open to it. Also, when I started him on the bottle (expressed milk) I gave him first fresh milk... until he got used to the bottle and then I started using my frozen supply. I also used a little blanky so that he is entertained with something in his hands while he is eating.

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J.D.

answers from Wichita on

I know others may have offered the same advice, but maybe changing to nipples to the bottle may help? Im so sorry you are going through this. I had the same problem for about 2 weeks, but i changed the nipple and it seemed to work. Good Luck.

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S.T.

answers from St. Louis on

I'm in the same boat you are! My six month old still won't take a bottle. I don't try nearly as much as I used to though. The only way he'll take breastmilk is if it is spoonfed to him. I would try that, a sippy cup, and a medicine dropper. At least she'll be getting something. It is true, if she gets hungry enough she will eat, especially if you're gone overnight. Some babies will never take a bottle. Hopefully, yours isn't one of them. Good luck.

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B.H.

answers from Kansas City on

my third daughter refused a bottle completely as well. she never did take one. i weaned her at 13 months to a sippy cup. i was in tears at times too. i feel for you. i will give you some tricks to try, BUT, they didn't work for me, i hope they work for you.

1)instead of a bottle use a medicine syringe or medicine cup. she won't like it either. but she may take it and get some milk and at least she's not having to suck from something so different from your breast.

2)maybe she's refusing the milk not the bottle. she may be irritated that her beloved breastmilk is coming from a bottle, and it may taste different to her after having been frozen. have you ever tried formula from a bottle?

3)and last but probably not your favorite, cancel your trip or take her along. like i said earlier my kiddo never would take a bottle (maybe I didn't try hard enough, but i thought i did) my lifestyle changed dramatically after i gave into the fact that i was her only source of nutrients and needed to be with her to feed her. i finally decided to commit myself 100% to breastfeeding and not trying to make IT work for me.

I hope you find a solution that works for both of you.

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E.S.

answers from Kansas City on

C.-
I totally identify with your post!! My now 9 month old daughter did the same thing. She'd had a bottle here and there starting at age 2 weeks. She was doing great with it, so I didn't worry so much about it and did't keep giving her a bottle. A month or so went by and my husband went to give her a bottle..............SCREAM. She refused!! We tried night after night. This will sound so nuts, maybe that's why it worked for us: One evening when she was freaking out about it, my husband thought she was too hot, so he took her clothes off down to her diaper. She was still on her changing table and he offered her the bottle and she took it!! We thought maybe she took it because she wasn't expecting it, she thought she was getting changed. It broke my heart seeing her lying there doing it that way instead of being held and cuddled. That procedure happened a few more times over the next few weeks, and she just eventually started taking it normally. Oh, and something else, it DID HAVE to be formula. She wouldn't take breastmilk from the bottle, it just made her mad.
Good luck and I hope you get it figured out before your trip!

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R.C.

answers from St. Louis on

hi C.-

i do not know if this will work, but here goes.

my sweet-pea would rather have formula from a bottle and breast-milk from me. she likes the similac (go figuire, more $, been told it is sweeter). babies think the little 2 oz ready made containers are like candy. if you do not want to invest in any- ask your ped, or ob for some samples.

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A.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I had the exact same issues with my baby. Just when I was ready to go back to work, she absolutely refused to take the bottle. I would call all day long to see if she was eating...and she wouldn't. She would wait it out until I got home and then it was a feeding frenzy all night long until she would go to sleep between midnight and 1am. After a couple of weeks of this she did slowly start taking the bottle. There would still be days that she would fight and not eat all day. The doctor is right, eventually she will start taking it cause she is sooo hungry. Finally at some point the sitter stopped having problems with her. However, for the longest time she would not take a bottle from me...until recently, and she is almost 8 months old. I know it's hard, because you feel like you are starving your baby and you have the solution to what they want. Your not a horrible mother (although, I know you feel that way at times...I certainly did...made me sick to my stomach that she wasn't eating). It will slowly get better...give her time. A month from now you will look back and see how well she has progressed.

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J.O.

answers from Kansas City on

I had a friend who's baby refused to eat all day at daycare for 2 or 3 days. She would just wait until her Mom was there to breastfeed at the end of the workday. Finally, after those couple of days, she did take a bottle.

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B.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi C.,

First of all, I never went through this but I can give you some thoughts of things that might help.

You could try, if you have not already...
- different temperatures (my son refuses a bottle unless it is warm enough)
- different nipples textures and flow rate
- holding her differently (she probably wants the closeness/warmness/exposure to light or other similarities that she gets when you feed her)
- alternating breast and bottle in the same feeding (if she will take the bottle at all)
- fresh breast milk (just in case she notices a difference between fresh and previously frozen)

I also found this list on the La Leche League International site.

http://www.llli.org/FAQ/bottle.html

Hope some of this is helpful,
B.

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S.T.

answers from Columbia on

My son, now 14 months, did the same. I see a lot of good suggestions in the other responses. The only thing that worked for us that isn't listed is trying to feed the baby before the caregiver sees signs of hunger. If your baby is cue fed, chances are you are really sensitive to the signs she is hungry. Caregivers, no matter how good they are, probably aren't as in tune. By the time my husband would know our son was hungry, it was too late. He was already upset, and the bottle just angered him. If my husband offered the bottle earlier, our son would take it more readily. I do thoroughly believe, however, babies will not starve themselves. Best of luck to you.

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G.M.

answers from Lawrence on

This must have been heartbreaking for you, and hard to think of the overnighter, I know. I went through the same struggles with bottles until the day I went back to work...weird, as I'd tried to get her "ready for it," but to no avail. I was sure I had the only child on the planet who wouldn't conform to the helpful advice of doctors & lactation consultants :o). She too was (and IS!!!) very strongwilled and can tangle with the best of them when she's so certain about what's best for her :o). But anyway, then I did go back to work, and it was no problem. Odd, but many children do make this switch on cue when they need to, despite fighting it so hard before. So hang in there...

I agree she may not like the frozen/defrosted milk yet. I have a couple of suggestions:

*since you're pumping anyway, try some milk that's more freshly pumped....the freezer DOES change the taste of the milk, and not really for the better. She'll get used to that change eventually & take it once you get over this hump :o). You might be able to ease her back into taking bottles of milk if it's more pleasureable the first few times, maybe with more freshly pumped warm milk that you pump in the other room when she's hungry & then leave with someone else to feed her right away. Try it before your trip...even if she can get in one happier bottle, you can feel reassured that she may be more willing to try the next one. If you pump now, your milk will last in the fridge for the weekend too, and won't be frozen/defrosted. Then use your stockpile from the freezer later.
*if you have the ability to buy a larger mouthed nipple, you might try it; my daughter did best with these giant NUK nipples that made her mouth open wide as she did for nursing, and it was more comfortable for her & she was much more agreeable
*she may indeed do better with cups, unbelievably, at this age than a bottle
*do try the other suggestions about someone wearing your shirt, etc.
*DO trust your lactation consultant...your daughter will not starve...I know it seems that you're in a unique situation, and that your sweet baby is the one exception who will wait it out, but she really will eat when she's hungry enough; you are not starving her...she's got good reserves because you've been doing exactly the right thing by nursing her & giving her those great calories & nutrients. If you're not sure, then you may consider changing your travel plans, unfortunately...maybe that means including her (?)
*PLEASE DO NOT USE FORMULA to supplement, unless formula is already in your plans. I don't know what's up with that advice. Look long term at what might happen: you're clearly dedicated to nursing for awhile more at least, or you wouldn't have made it this far. If indeed she does take a bottle with formula (or god forbid with sugar on the nipple, no offense to the PP), are you going to be stuck feeding her formula just to get her to take a bottle? Consider whether this is what you were hoping for. Despite this struggle, you're doing the right thing by nursing her.....she doesn't need formula at this point of her life.

I don't know if this will help, but maybe try to see things from the perspective of not having to consider this weekend, which is making you feel more panicky. Since you've obviously held off on solids so far, you're thoughtful about what she's taking in...do you really want formula & the possible risks associated with it to be part of her possibly permanent bottle diet because of one overnight?

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J.E.

answers from Columbus on

My son, who is 8 months old, won't take a bottle either. But, he will take milk from an eyedropper, medicine syringe, cup and spoon. The important thing is getting the milk into her. I'd try one of those other methods. My son will now drink out of a Nuby silicone straw cup and we've bypassed the bottle completely. Good luck! I know its frustrating when you need to leave your little one for an extended period.

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

just a thought...if she wont take a bottle, try using a dropper and slowly give her the milk.

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G.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Have you tried with fresh/refrigerated breast milk instead of defrosted frozen? Sometimes the frozen does get a funny taste/smell. And although it's hard to believe, you have to have faith that your child will not starve herself. Survival kicks in eventually.

Another thing you could try, have your caregiver try spoon feeding the milk. It will be something completely new and may catch her off guard.

And something that I noticed with my second son was the re-warmed milk had to be the right temp. If it cooled too much, he wouldn't finish a bottle.

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B.B.

answers from Springfield on

Your story sounds familiar we went through something similar when I returned to work with my first child. Although I only worked 4 hours at a time to start.

Keep trying. Try different nipples. Sleep with the nipples in your bra. Have your mom wear a shirt you have worn. Anything to get your scent on the bottle, and care giver. You try giving her the bottle when she is not extremelly hungry or stressed. We all are better at new situations when we are relaxed and rested.

My daughter did give in after two weeks. Although my neice never did take a bottle that I am aware. I am not sure how hard my SIL pushed the issue since she was a SAHM. Best of luck. It must be breaking your heart, but you deserve a little mommy time too.

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M.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter refused breastmilk from a bottle while at the babysitters once I went back to work. I finally had to supplement with formula while she was there because she would only take breastmilk from me. I also had to try several different bottles before she would take one also. She finally decided she would take a bottle. Good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Kansas City on

Try the Adiri natural nurser (google it or "one step ahead"...seems to work well for BF babies who refuse the bottle...I hope that helps!

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T.R.

answers from Joplin on

could you syringe feed her? or cup feed her? we have breastfeeding moms here use a medicine cup or a 5 ml syringe to feed their babies if they are that afraid of nipple confusion. have you tried sugar water or even chocolate syrup on the nipple to sweeten the taste and tempt her? good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Kansas City on

My son refused the defrost breastmilk, He would eat the milk that I had pumped the day before that had just been refrigeratored. Some told me that it sould be the bags that I had frozen it in. My husband ended up mixing the breatmilk with some formula and then my son would take it. I hope that helps.

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K.H.

answers from St. Louis on

Hey C.,

I breastfed my son all the way until he was 7 1/2 months old so I know the feeling! It seems like once the baby gets breastmilk, theres nothing else like it. Dominic is now 8 months old and he barely drinks formula. He drinks just enough but lately he has been drinking more. He is getting used to it but at first he absolutely refused formula all together. I even pumped and mixed it w/formula, no, didnt work. So, he is doing alot better now. Breastmilk is so great for your child but when your ready to stop, your supposed to wheen him/her off. Mix the breastmilk w/formula eventually they transfer but that didnt exactly work w/my son but he is doing fine now. Have you tried to put any cereal w/the breastmilk or formula? Try that, even though they say not to until he/she is 4 months of age but its worth a shot. Hope this helps..... dont be upset, god gives us obstacles, life is just crazy sometimes! It will be ok I promise.

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K.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I went through the same thing with my second child. It is really tough, I know but the habit will break. There are a few other suggestions of things that I tried. I gave her a bottle, too. Try squeezing the nipple of the bottle when attempting to feed her so that she tastes the milk and knows what is in the bottle. Try a little bit of sugar on the nipple. Sometimes that works. I just kept at it with my daughter Olivia and eventually, she took the bottle. Then I made sure that Daddy gave her a bottle at least three times a week from there on out. She was about three months old when this happened and when it passed, I had no more issues like this and I nursed her until she was 8 months.
When I had my third child, I introduced the bottle and the pacifier earlier against the advice of the lactation specialist and I never had this issue again. That is just my personal experience.

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S.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I *wish* I'd been in your shoes, since it was my breast, not the bottle that my LO refused! :( Because of that, I've been pumping now for almost 7 months, and I've done A LOT of reading on the subject. It is definitely true that the smell/taste of the milk changes when frozen (more or less depending on the amount of lipase in your milk). Our pediatrician advised us to mix bottles about 50/50 fresh/frozen so that LO doesn't refuse it because of the taste.

For your LO's age, I would try a medicine cup (you know - like what comes w/ the bottle of Robitussin) rather than a sippy and see if you can get her to drink that way. If that doesn't work, maybe try a syringe like what comes w/ baby medicine - it might be slow-going, but at least she'd get something in her. Oh - and you could also try freezing some milk in an ice cube tray and get one of those mesh feeders to put it in (sort of a teething ring thing that you can put food in a little attached mesh "baggie" so that it could melt through or be gnawed on, but no chunks could come through to choke). That'd be messy, but again - when you're desperate, it's good to have options!

Fortunately/unfortunately, it really does need to be someone else trying to give her the bottle/cup/whatever, and you probably need to be gone from the house. YOU are the milk wagon, and if she knows you're available, YOU are what she'll want.

One more thing about trying a bottle (if you have any energy left for that) - could the person giving it do so holding her in the exact position you use for nursing (the feeder should "hold" the bottle with their armpit and attempt to approximate the angle of your breast) and either wearing a shirt that smells like you, or at least have it sort of tucked around the bottle so that it's what the baby is smelling? I read somewhere (can't recall where now) that a LO who refused bottles was willing to take one in this way.

All that said, this weekend is coming SOON, and she may not acclimate to a new feeding method before you need to leave. Is there ANY way that you could bring her and a caretaker for her along so you could still nurse? It seems very stressful for all concerned to try to switch away from the breast in just a day or two, and if she feels too pressured, she might dig her heels in.

Oh, I thought of one other thing that would probably be a last-ditch effort. Is there another female around who you could ask to put your LO to her breast using a supplemental nursing system (aka "tube on the boob") so that LO is eating in a familiar manner? I know it's very unconventional, but again - when you're desperate, you need options!!

I would caution you against mixing your milk with formula, or if you do, to do so in very small quantities. This is because once you mix it, the mixture has the bacteria-promoting qualities of the formula and it must be consumed or thrown out in an hour (not even refrigerated - it really needs to be thrown out). I'd hate to see that liquid gold have to be thrown away!

Best wishes for you! I know it's hard, but keep up your inner smile, knowing that your LO is saying "there's no one as good as my mom!" :)

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S.C.

answers from St. Louis on

Have you talked to Leleche (sp?)moms? They always seem to know the right answers. You did not say if you are married or not. Do you really have to work right now is my first questions? Can your daughter possibly go to work with you? I had a granddaughter whose mom taught school and I would bring her up to her mom to be fed, but she taught really close to my home so it worked that she could feed her on her lunch hour. I pray things get better for all of you and just keep trying to get her to take the bottle.

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A.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Babies can nurse/bottle feed while sleeping. If she cries until she sleeps, then have the sitter pick her up without waking her and put the bottle in her mouth. This is what the babywhisperer recommends to avoid night wakings, and it worked when my son was refusing the bottle the other night (15 weeks also).

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M.W.

answers from Wichita on

I went through this same thing with my little girl. She would not take a bottle come heck or high water! Fortunately I was never in need of leaving her for more than 6 hours at a time. Like your little girl, she would rather wait and sleep than be violated with a sippy cup or bottle... When I walked in the door she was frantic to nurse because she had made herself wait. Truth be told my mom suffered the most, because she worried about her starving to death while she was with her.

I have no advice to offer you, because I never found a solution myself unfortunately. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone - and other moms have survived this crazy situation! Hopefully another mom will have something for you to try!

Best wishes!
M.
____@____.com

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C.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I am having the same problem with a 12 week old. I posted a few days ago, if you would like to read my responses. I haven't tried any of the recommended bottles or nipples yet, but with my last baby I did use the flat top Playtex nipples, and the orthodontic nipples, and those worked wonderfully. I researched the Adiri bottles (shaped like a breast), but they got many bad reviews. I am going to buy the Breastflow bottle today, and see how that works. If you read my entry, I was having my boyfriend wear my t-shirt from the previous day. That really isn't practical if I take my baby to anyone else. What we have started doing is "cuddling" with a soft toy bunny while we are nursing. This way it gives my baby something to hold onto other than my breast, and it starts to smell like me. We have been doing this all week, and this weekend will be our test. Good luck to you, let me know if you find success!

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H.G.

answers from Springfield on

My little girl who is now seven year old, was like this when I tried to get her to take the bottle. I had to go back to work when she was 6 wks. old, so we started trying to give her the bottle around one month. She HATED it. She would get so mad and scream and cry. I tried having my husband do it, my neighbor who was her babysitter, and me, and all to no avail. What finally worked is that I found a nipple that she seemed to like. It was so long ago, so I really can't remember the name of the nipple, but I would suggest going to Babies R Us, or somewhere like that where they have a lot of choices. I do remember that the nipple was one of those clear silicone ones. It even took her a while to get used to that, but once she took it from my neighbor (w/out me around), she would drink a little and then scream. We kept doing this every day, until finally she got used to it. Just don't give up! She'll get the hang of it. Hugs!

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