9 Year Old Not Wanting to Do His School Work

this was me at age 6. Is he being challenged enough at school? Did you ask why he doesn't feel like answer test questions or doing his homework? I would dig and find out why. Because there is a reason, you just don't know it yet. :(
I ended up ok, something clicked for me in 11th grade. I got my bachelor and master degree. maybe a tutor would help? just to provide some external motivation.
Pam

Hi C.- My name is D. trust me when I say I know how you feel I have three kids and two of them are boys 11 & 7. I use to have that same problem with mine, but my oldest boy was evaluated for ADHD, now he goes to school with no difficulties because of the school he goes to that helps me with dealing with his situation, but I still get a little stress with my 7 year old, but what I found out that helps him do his work in and out of school that might help is sit with him while he's doing his work at home and reward him when he's doing good, or either compliment him, kids tend to like that attention from their parents, sometimes it get to the point that you have to ignore them and they'll start getting the point themselves. Hope things work out for you and your husband because I know how difficult it can get. God Bless, D.

Hi C.! My children are not school age yet, but I've had some experience with teaching. The one thing that popped out to me from your post was that he's very bright but doesn't want to do anything. Could it possibly be that he's bored? I've seen many children go thru that, their just too smart for the work that's given too them and they become bored.
My other thought is, have you tried rewarding him? Like, tell him "if you have a good day at school you'll get such and such". Or, "if your homework every night without a fuss, you'll get something on the weekend". You could keep a chart and if he fills it everyday, he'll have something special to look forward to. Also, I know that some teachers will agree to send a daily report on how your child is doing. Maybe get a notebook and send it back and forth with your son so that you and the teacher could correspond with each other to help him. I know that all children are different and in my experience some children respond well to the punishment while others respond better to the rewarding, that way the focus is on his good behavior rather than his bad. I hope this helps! Best of luck to you and your husband!

Hello, I don't really have much advice on the subject, since my children are far from the school age right now, but I just wanted to send you a small opinion on somethings other people have said. I absolutely hate it when people automatically jump to saying ADD and things like that! Drugging your kid up is not the answer. He probably is like other people have said, he's just too smart for the work he is getting. Both my brothers were that way when they were in grade school, but when the got to high school they took the hardest classes the school offered (AP biology, calculis, etc.) Now my older brother is working on his doctorite in Physics! It also doesn't hurt to have a balance of punishments and rewards. He may get to the point where he thinks he has nothing else to lose, and just act up more. I hope that this might help a little bit. Good luck.

D.

Hi,
My fiance is the one who would like to give you some advice. (HIM SPEAKING)

When I was younger about your sons age I too had what was classified as attention problems in second grade. My mother who was a teacher at the time knew that I understood the work. Long story short, my problems stemmed from being bored. It seems that your son is not being challeneged in school. When a child is not challenged in their learning, they soon lose interest and will find other ways to entertain themselves and pass the time. I agree with one respondant, look to have you son tested to find his actual level in school which will be something more challenging and therefore more likely to keep his attention throughout the school day. Good luck.

I wonder since you said your child is bright, perhaps he needs to be tested to see if he can skip a grade. Or perhaps there are gifted classes available. I'm not really sure how it works at the elementary level. He might be bored. Or he just has a hard time concentrating. Just suggestions. Good luck.

I have a 10 year old with the same problem. Not only does he not want to do his work, he pretednds he just doesn't know the answers when he knew them just fine 5 minutes before. It's beyond frustrating. If you find a resolution please let me know.

You just described my son. He's in the process of being tested for gifted and ADD. It's been a difficult past couple of years with his "issues" at school. He's actually a kind of laid back kid at home.

My son gets his clipped moved almost every day at school for getting out of his seat. He's better this year at not calling out all the time. I was crazy with him because I would say these are not new rules, what's up?!! He appears that he's lazy because he doesn't want to do his work but I started to wonder if he just can't concentrate long enough.

I didn't really think of ADD, as he's doesn't have the hyper aspect. But he hasn't been finishing tests at school this year(3rd greade) and his grades are slipping. I am hoping as a result of him being tested that he can have his test times split if he needs it because what he does answer is usually correct. He's getting so discouraged it just breaks my heart. I sit with him for homework time and sometimes he's fine and other times I get so highly irritated with him. And I'm realizing that maybe he really just can't help some of it.

Have you discussed any form of testing with the teachers? I would really push for it as it can take a while to get to that point. I struggled with "not having my child labeled" but as I've talked to with other moms they encoutaged ne to as they will work with my son to help get him back on track.

I keep trying to keep myself focussing on his good points as he is respectful, kind(most of the time)with his younger siblings and I want to prevent him from giving up on himself as I see his self esteem is starting to waver.

I hope you can find a way to approach this and not lose your mind as this can be so frustrating.
LaurieK
www.mymonavie.com/LaurieK

Hi C.,

Don't despair. It is so important to make sure that your son understands school, the purpose, and the ultimate goal: to become an educated individual. It is hard at his age to help him realize that, but you need to reinforce learning at home by modeling it through you reading yourself, you doing similar activities to what he does, and so on. The home-school connection is an extremely important aspect of education. Additionally, I would question whether or not your son is gifted. Typically when a child is bored because the work doesn't motivate, excite, or challenge him he does such things. See if the school will test your child. It is common for children to go through these phases and unfortunately testing (FCAT) and the way schools are organized doesn't take this into consideration. Be patient with your son and, if all else fails, read Dr. Glasser's books "The High Quality School" or "The High Quality Teacher". Even though they are geared towards educators they might help you understand motivation and help your son work a little harder without coercive tactics. Good luck!

I'll side with those who suggest that he's bored with a lack of challenge in his class. My younger brother was like that--ran away from kindergarten every day, put tacks on the teacher's chair, failed at almost everything--definitely not the school's image of the gifted child, even though my big brother and I were the star-student-teachers'-pets of the school. They must have figured that this one was from the shallow end of the gene pool.

Then one day, my mom's friend was supposed to do an IQ test on me as an assignment for her college psychology class. I happened to barely have the sniffles that day; so although I protested and begged to do the test, my mother (in her quiet wisdom) sent my younger brother instead. His score was off the charts, and the school finally agreed to put him in the gifted program by the next week. I still think he's the most brilliant member of our family.

On a similar note, when the little boy I was babysitting was tested for giftedness, he failed because he either skipped the math questions or put down totally ridiculous answers. His parents, knowing that he'd shown signs of mathematical genius since he was 2, asked him why in the world he'd done that. He said that the questions were too easy and that he just couldn't be bothered with them. The parents were understandably frustrated and kept trying to convince the school that their son needed more challenge. Two years later, the school finally relented and allowed him into the gifted program. Last year he completed his master's degree at MIT.

Don't give up, and don't head for the drugs too quickly. Do your best to feed his intellect and curiosity outside of the classroom, and never let him doubt that you love him. (I highly recommend the book "The Five Love Languages of Children" for that last note--it will help you with ways of stimulating his attention, too.) Hang in there!

As a 5th grade teacher.... this sounds like focusing issues. You may want to mention it to his pediatrician see if he thinks he has any other ADD or ADHD tendencies. Even if it isn't that, he/she may have some suggestions too.

Sounds like he needs an ADD evaluation by your pediatrician.
My best guess is that the teacher probably wants you to get him on some ADD medication like Adderall, but she is not allowed to come right out and tell you what she thinks. Teachers can get in trouble for telling parents they think their kids have ADD. All the teacher can do is keep bugging you until you get to your wits end and finally take him for evaluation.