9 Months After Miscarriage, Still Not Getting Pregnant

Updated on March 06, 2017
M.F. asks from Ellsworth, ME
13 answers

Hi Moms, I have posted about my SIL before, but just seeing if anybody has fresh perspective on this. A bit of background, MIL has PCOS took her 4 years to get pregnant with 2nd child. SIL got pregnant on honeymoon and miscarried at 13 weeks, fetus hadn't grown past 6 weeks. For 3 months SIL has been using an ovulation kit because she has longer cycles anywhere from 30-37 days. She is still not having any luck. Any suggestions? Any experience with a miscarriage then not getting pregnant for a long time after? Thanks so much in advance. M.

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L.W.

answers from Boston on

It took me 9 months to conceive the first time. I miscarried at 10 weeks. It then took me about a year and a half to get pregnant again. VERY frustrating. I did basal charting which finally worked. It helps you to see when you ovulate, detect patterns etc. So if you do not ovulate at the same time every month you can still see it coming. There are all sorts of helpful web sites that explain how to do it and you can print charts online. (Just do a quick Google) I ordered the thermometer online for 9.99. So it is pretty inexpensive and I found it very effective. Two months of charting and I was pregnant. My son is now 10 months old and I am charting again :)
Good luck and I hope this helps!

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P.N.

answers from Boston on

I got pregnant pretty easily the first time, but miscarried and then nothing. Your SIL should have an infertility workup. At the very least she can have a semen analysis and basic hormone check with her regular doc. Though she should not waste her time with any treatment with her doc, she should see a reproductive endocrinologist rather than a regular OB for anything beyond basic diagnostics. Long cycles are definitely a concern. As a pp said she should also be charting her cycles. It can be a pain, but worthwhile and a lot cheaper than ov predictor kits. I realized from mine that although I had very regular cycles, I was not ovulating. Once I got my thyroid regulated I was ovulating, but still not conceiving.

I definitely recommend seeing an acupuncturist skilled in infertility. If your SIL is at all open to it, a great book for the Chinese Traditional Medicine approach to infertility is The Infertility Cure, by Randine Lewis. You can sort of self-diagnose your issues and make dietary changes and stuff to help address the underlying issues.

A lot of docs will just automatically give you clomid for several monthss when you are having issues, and if it ends up being "unexplained infertility" they have their list that follows. That was me, I had no particular medical reason for not conceiving. That approach was too one-sized for me so I did acupuncture, took herbs and made dietary changes to get the underlying issues addressed and then talked my doc into trying unmedicated IUIs for 3 cycles so I could be certain that we weren't just missing the window. That worked for me and I swear it was the acupuncture and herbs that were responsible. I had my baby 3 years after my miscarriage.

It is so nice of you to be inquiring on your SIL's behalf. Infertility is extremely stressful and painful. People say a lot of unpleasant things that make it difficult socially. Even worse, it becomes absolutely obsessive because you are constantly on a clock for something. Every few weeks you mourn when you get your period then a few days later you are upbeat because you have another chance this month. It's positively draining. It is nice that she has you there for support. She should also find infertility support, there are some good boards out there.

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K.A.

answers from Boston on

Hi Michelle- I had 2 miscarriages about 9 months apart. I got pregnant very fast with my first and took over a year for my second. I think the miscarriage thing is just an unfortunate part of getting pregnant. No rhyme or reason to them. However, I DO think it changes your ovulation. I tried the ovulation kits also and they did not work for me. I found it predicted ovulation either a day late or too early. I only found this out because my OB/GYN told me to go old school and chart my temperature. After charting for about 2 moths I finally found when I was ovulating (no where near where I thought!) and got pregnant the following month with help from Clomid.

I used a GREAT website that helps you keep track of temp and other physical signs of ovulation. It is www.fertilityfriend.com. I would recommend to her to pay for the 3 month membership too. Hope this helps!

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M.B.

answers from Boston on

This has happened to a few people I know. They got pregnant and miscarried and there body acted like it still was so they couldn't get pregnant again during the time that they would have normally carried.
I would be patient and it will happen when it is ment. I think this is totally normal. A girl I work with got pregnant after going through this on the 11th month.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Has she had a full hormonal/infertility workup? Those long cycles (up to 37 days) are a red flag to me - I had the opposite problem (short cycles) but the result was that I didn't have enough hormonal support for the uterine lining and did not achieve implantation of the embryo. I could have been conceiving every month, but not going to the next crucial step of implantation.

She might consider a reputable fertility center, and also contact her local chapter of Resolve, a support group for infertile individuals/couples. In addition to emotional support, they provide a fabulous network of women experienced with different tests, methods, and physicians.

I wish her good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Springfield on

Hi Michelle, I myself have PCOS and it took me 2 years of a concoction of medications to conieve. I then miscarried at 8 weeks. It is a very dificult thing to go through, wanting so hard to concieve then to only have it just end so abruptly. after 3 months I went back on the same concoction of meds (combination of metformin and clomid) and I became pegnant again. I delivered my perfect little girl in May of 05. I was nursing her and my ob wanted me to go on a "mini" pill so as not to get pregnant (like i was going to just get pregnant right?). I did take the pill only to have repeated yeast infections month after month. -- low and behold, I just quit taking it!! that december I had a PERIOD!! something that just was not part of my life anymore!!! I thought it odd, but whatever. Well, 3 months later, I wasnt feeling right and to my surprise, I was 3 months pregnant!!!! all on my own!! It truley is amazing how a womans body can just kinda "kick into gear". I saw the ultrasounds of my ovaries, they are completly like 2 bunches of grapes!! I never thought I would get pregnant once let alone twice!! my son was born october of 06. I now have a Mirana IUD which emits the hormone that I do not produce and prevents further pregnancies (I am 38 and 2 kids are plenty for me) Best of luck is all I can say, I know this is just sharing my story without much advice, but hopefully it will be inspirational that miricles do happen when you least expect them!! L. C.

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N.A.

answers from Gainesville on

I was married at 32 and immediately tried to get pregnant. When I was unable to conceive I had blood tests for fertility and was told that I had an FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) of 54 and would not be able to have children. Even though the doctors knew that I had been diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroiditis since age 25, no one bothered to check my thyroid levels. my TSH was measured at .001. My Synthroid dosage was lowered. a friend advise me to contact a spiritualist who help with fertility with her medicine, i collected her contact an explain my situation to her she prepared for me a herbal medicine which i took as describe I by her. became pregnant very quickly, I had a successful pregnancy. I have my baby august 2014. to get pregnant at age 35 with my 2nd child in september 2016, thank you mama , this is her email contact if you require her help ____@____.com

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J.V.

answers from Boston on

Hi, my name is Jill. I hope this info might help. My mom has PCOS as well. But I don't have it. Sounds like your sister may not either, especially if she gets a reading on her ovulation kit. I had a DNC at 13 weeks because my fetus died at 10 weeks. Since then, I have had no luck in getting pregnant. I have also had really strong anxiety and long, heavy periods. I have had ultra sounds, blood work on endocrine system, seen a naturalpath- you name it. I overlooked one thing, though, that has worked for several of my friends, their friends, and friends of people I know...accupuncture. The hardest part of not getting pregnant can be this deep self hatred you develope for your body, which is so counterproductive. I have been seeing Laura from Accupuncture Plus in Waltham. This is where several of my friends have gone and sucessfully conceived. And some of my friends had some real serious challanges with their reproductive abilities. Misscarriages wreck your unterus and the PH level, which is often the culprit, and needs to be balanced. It has not only made me feel better, but most importantly, I don't hate my body anymore, I understand it and know it can be fixed. Have her try it. I don't know if Waltham is close or not, but here is the number: ###-###-####. Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

M.,

My girlfriend has had this problem as well. She is now pregnant with their 2 child and due in 2 weeks after having 3 miscarriages last year. She went to an reproductive endocrynologist and unfortunately never received an answer as to why they miscarriaged but it was the same thing all 3 times. The baby didn't grow after the 7 weeks. The only thing going for her and her husband was that it is easy for them to get pregnant-hence the 3 pregnancies in one year. They did figure out that she ovulates very late in her cycle though.
One thing I would suggest having checked in the women's thyroid levels. I have Hosimoto's disease and even if all my tests come back in the normal range I am 4 times more likely to miscarry if I am not on medication. This wasn't my girlfriends problem but it is something else to look at. As for my girlfriend in the end they just told her it was bad luck with no definitive answer.
For them it was very difficult to go thru it and they almost gave up but in the end they are having a good pregnancy now.
Hope this helps,
L. M

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L.Q.

answers from Boston on

I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks as well with my first. Then I got pregnant 6 months after (not on pill but not really trying to get pregnant either, if it happened great if not then we'd "try" a few months later). Not sure why it took 6 months seeing as how we were active with no birth control but I say that is what God wanted for us. Then when my son was 14 months old (he is now 21 months old) I got pregnant again & I was on birth control & we were not trying at all. I am due October 12th with my 2nd boy and very happy even though it was not planned.
I should also mention that I have extremely messed up menstrual cycles any where from 30-52 days!
So I would say your SIL should be evaluated by a good OB/Gyn and if she checks out fine then the husband/boyfriend needs to be checked maybe it is not your SIL who has the issue.

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K.P.

answers from Providence on

Hi Michelle,
I wanted to second the response about fertilityfriend.com. It's a wonderful website and there are women from all walks of life in every stage of family planning. I have been trying to conceive for 2 years now, with 2 miscarriages and 11 months since the last time we were pregnant. There are a lot of resources out there and I would encourage your SIL to find a doctor she is comfortable with. The sooner she can start talking about options the better.

Good luck to her and her family!

K.

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N.R.

answers from Boston on

Dear M.:

My heart goes out to your SIL, trying to get pregnant can be very stressful and emotionally devistating situation. It is so nice of you to support her like this.

My recommendation (as one who suffered through a diagnosis of infertility and after much trial and heartache now have 2 amazing childred) would be to make an appointment with a RE (reproductive edocrinologist) for a consultation. Most women with PCOS have infertility problems and specific reasons that cause their miscarriges. A RE would be able to assess this and come up with a treatment plan that would maximize her changes of getting pregnant.

Hope this helps!

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M.T.

answers from Springfield on

I have an amazing son who just turned 2 and it took me about 3 months to get pregnant with him. When he turned a year we started trying again and than I skipped a cycle and found out I was pregnant...since I skipped the cycle we really don't know how far along I was. My period after that were really screwed up coming about every 6-9 weeks. We tried for 10 and a half months after the miscarriage and didn't get pregnant...I know when I ovulate and we obviously tried around that. We finally decided to put off baby making until our son turns 3. I guess for some getting pregnant is not as easy as others.

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