15 answers

9 Month Old Who Won't Sleep!!!!

Help Moms!!!!!! I have a wonderful 9 month old that overall is a great little boy except for his sleeping patterns. My mother in law was watching him during the day but now that school is out I am home with him all the time. Mom in law has had the same problems I am having during the day he will fall asleep after the bottle for her or nursing on me, but the moment we lay him down in his bed he's awake. He will only sleep during the day if he is laying on someone. As for night time he goes to sleep about 10:30pm after nursing then wakes up about 30 mins to an hour after that to nurse again, then back to bed for another hour and half then nurse again, and it just keeps going like that until about 6:30 or 7:00 in the morning when we are up for the day. We have thought about letting him cry it out until he goes back to sleep but his older brother, 4 yrs old, sleeps right across the hall and I don't need him up too. Please help us we would love any suggestions!!!

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You would never think it, but the food you eat can wreck your sleeping ability and quality. You are nursing. Try eliminating gluten and dairy from your diet, and his if he is on solid foods, and see what happens.

I am on a gluten and dairy free diet. My breastfeeding 6 month old sleeps pretty well. I had a dinner than had dairy at a restaurant one night, and he didn't sleep well for several days after, until we both cleared it out of our systems. It also gave him gas.

You can even have babies tested for food intolerances through www. enterolab.com. It's a stool test, so easy for babies. Just send in his stool (1/2 cup needed for testing). Order test kit online. No doctor referral needed. They email you the results.

Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful

My baby had very similar sleep habits (he's 8 months). The book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" was very helpful! There is a send book, "The No Cry Nap Solution" has some good tips for nap times too. After implementing some of the suggestions I am now able to put my son down to nap and he will sleep up to 2 hours (yay!!). He also now only wakes up once at night to nurse, which feels like heaven after what I had gone through. Whatever action plan you decide on, you will probably have to give it a couple weeks to really start working. Remember, your son LOVES cuddling with you, so he insn't going to want to give that up. While you're adjusting his sleep routines, you might try giving him some extra love during the day so he doesn't feel abandoned.
Good luck!!

3 moms found this helpful

Your little one does not have a sleep problem . . . it sounds like he just has a high touch need, which if met, will go away during toddlerhood. I would suggest carrying him in a sling or carrier (such as one by ergo). If you would like some reading material on sleep and babies, feel free to e-mail me and I will give those to you. It is largely an American practice to have babies sleep on there own (not touching a caretaker), but for many babies this is simply lonely and against their natural instincts. Despite common misconceptions, "attached" infants actually become more independent children than the other way around!!!

2 moms found this helpful

I disagree. Your baby does have a sleeping problem. You need to get the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Brain development occurs during sleep, so not getting adequate sleep is a serious problem, and you don't want to just wait and hope it goes away. Babies have to learn how to sleep, and how to put themselves back to sleep once they wake up (which happens many times during the night). He sounds like he is very overtired. At his age, he should be going to bed between 6:00 and 8:00 pm. He may need to eat once during the night, but not every hour or two! He is simply using you to comfort him back to sleep. I have two boys, 2 years and 8 months. They both go to sleep at 7:30 and the baby wakes up at 7:00ish to eat and the 2 year old doesn't wake up until around 8:30. They both nap well during the day (baby for a total of about 3-4 hours and 2 year old for one 1-3 hour nap). My boys share a wall, and even when one cries, it doesn't wake the other up. Both boys have white noise in their rooms.
If you want any other help or advice, please feel free to email me! My 2 year old never slept more than 30 min at a time when he was around 5 months old, I read the book. Within 2 days, his problems were solved.
Good luck. It can be fixed!

1 mom found this helpful

laying against you he feels warmth. maybe he needs warm.

1 mom found this helpful


Above is a link to a really great resource on sleep training methods. Remember consistency is key. Stay strong and stick to which ever method you choose and he'll get it soon. Good luck! You can do it and will love the results once you do.

your baby needs to learn how to put himself to sleep and how to put himself back to sleep when he wakes up. There are so many things we have to teach our children as parents some are harder than others. This is soo important to teach your child how to do this. A skill he will need for the rest of his life!!
this is important enough to maybe put out your 4 year old for a little while. Have a talk with him and tell him that his brother may wake him up with his crying but everything is ok and he just needs to go back to sleep. he is old enough to understand.
Your son is plenty old to sleep through the night all night without feeding!! and another important thing: you can NOT be the best mom you can be if you don't get some sleep! it is soo much healthier for your whole family to teach your so how to sleep through the night.

he should be able to sleep from 8 at night to 7 in the morning. with two 1 to 2 hour naps during the day. set a schedule. He goes down at 10 am, 2 pm and 8pm. that way you both know what to expect.
here's what i suggest. I would also take a long weekend or a stressless week to do this. It may take 4 or 5 nights.

feed him, change his diaper and put him to bed awake! let him cry. Look at what time it is. don't go in there for 20 minutes. I say look at the clock because the minutes will drag by. Go in there and comfort him, don't pick him up. Leave and wait another 20 minutes. Do this until he falls asleep. Go take a shower or do whatever you need to do to not sit and listen to his crying. He will learn how to do this!! remember you are doing this for his health and for yours.

Do u feed him solid foods like mashed potatoes,oatmeal, sweetpeas and such mabey he's hungry and nursing and a bottle is not enough!

Hi Sweety, sounds like your little guy is hungry. If he's waking up that often and wants to nurse. Maybe you should try feeding him cereal before you nurse him then put him down for the night. Good luck & God Bless.

He could be teething if there have been times he has slept better. If not, it could be that he is used to sleeping on someone for naps and that is what he prefers. You may have to slowly break him from that habit so that he can get used to laying in his own bed. It sounds like he hasn't learned to soothe himself yet. Just a guess without knowing what is going on. I am not a big fan of the "crying it out" at this age. However, what you may want to do is have supervised crying so that he gets some comfort. For example, I do this with my 11 month old b/c she has started having some trouble going to sleep. I read her books and give her a bottle; then lay her down in the crib. Soothe her by patting her bottom and rubbing her head until she starts to look sleepy. I leave the room. She starts to cry; I let her cry for a couple of minutes (don't let her get too worked up) and go back in and retuck her in again. I sit by her crib so that she can see me. She starts to get sleepy again and close her eyes. I leave the room again and she just wimpers a bit and then I hear nothing. You may need to go in there a little more at first b/c mine has always been able to sleep on her own for the most part; it is just a recent thing. Hang in there and just remember it is best for him to learn a self soothing method. However, also remember he is only 9 months old and this will take some time. Good luck!!

Hi P.,
My little boy is 9 months also and up until the last couple months he did exactly what your boy does during the day (the only difference is that my little guy has always slept pretty well at night). I have read a lot about sleeping habits and it seems to be a raging debate over crying it out. I think you have to do what you are comfortable with. I have always thought it is mean to let a baby cry it out. My personal opinion would be to tackle the nighttime first and then worry about the daytime naps later. Your sleep is very important too so hold him, wear him in a carrier, or whatever you have to do during the day to let him get 2 or 3 decent naps in. He may be overtired which is making his nighttime difficult. Just follow his lead during the day and put him to sleep when he is tired - a routine is best but for now just let him sleep when he's tired. (Setting a regular schedule for feeding solids helped my son regulate his own daytime schedule.) Every child needs different amounts of sleep so he may only sleep 30min or 2 hours for his naps (my boy takes 3 30min naps most days). For nightime, try a white noise machine if you don't already have one and also a nightlight. Bedtime should be much earlier like around 7pm. I'm sure you already have a bedtime routine so stick to it!! Bath and massage is helpful for calming. Try cluster feeding him in the afternoon and evening so his tummy is full when he goes to bed. Also feeding solids about an hour before bed can help - cereal, sweet potatoes, bananas are good things to try. Nursing is a wonderful way to put babies to sleep. :) It's possible that he was waking up all the time to make up for spending time with you while you were working and just got used to that schedule. So maybe over the summer you can fix his internal clock. :) Try rocking him first when he wakes up to help him learn to fall back to sleep but he's still in the comfort of your arms. I wouldn't feel bad for nursing him if that doesn't work or let Dad come in and rock him if it's only been a few hours since he ate. You can try putting something in his crib that has your scent on it and maybe one of those toys that has a heartbeat sound. Try a pacifier or introduce a "lovey" for him to snuggle with - buy 2 and sleep with one yourself first before you give it to him so it has your scent. Then you can sleep with the other one and rotate when you need to wash it. Ultimately I think kids grow out of all their habits - he's still a little baby! My son just magically grew out of wanting to nap on me and started napping in his crib. Just keep trying different things and nap with him if you can (try napping snuggled together on the floor). Also, www.kellymom.com has been a great resource for me for many topics. All the best to you!!!

P., I feel for you.. I have 2 who slept like that until they were 3 and then something changed and they could sleep longer. I don't believe in letting children cry without a cuddle or response.. so that wasn't an option for me - I figured if they learnt to cry it would become a learned habit.. my first, now 5 1/2, was always picked up and until today I get comments on how quiet & self assured he is. My 2nd unfortuatley learnt to cry sometimes because both would be needing my attention at the same time etc.. hence the second can cry.. What I can say is if you do try to change his habit at night it will take 3 nights... whatever the solution... you just have to stick to it. The first night is dreadful! The second not as bad and the 3rd wow... until he catches a cold or gets sick... and the whole sleepless night thing will start again - it's like their internal clock gets reset again... and so the process begins again... one night of sheer awful.. second better etc. You have to be in the right frame of mind to tackle it. One of the ways is having a bottle of water on hand and that's what he gets everytime he wakes.. he'll be really cross and upset & so will you.. but the 2nd night will be better. I can say I bought one book which was the 'no cry solution' - and it made me realise I wasn't in the minority but in fact the majority.. How about him sleeping in a three sided cot next to your bed so that he sleeps 1/2 of the night with you... I will say the doctors think it's the demand feeding.. and that their stomach never has time to stop working and empty.. hence a constant irritation in their tummies. I wouldn't totally disagree however, I also realise that we are all different right from the start & maybe I just have wakeful children... a thought that I think about as I contemplate another :-)

Hi P.,

My daughter went through the same thing. After a while she realized that if she didn't get control, then this was going to be a habit for a long time to come. It was worth it to her to let him cry it out. When he wakes up, just let him cry and he will go back to sleep.

My daughter said the first night was hard but that they let him cry for about 15 minutes and Connor went to sleep, the next time took less time. Now when she puts Connor down, he might play awhile before he goes to sleep, but that's OK.

As for your other child, You might try putting a fan in his room to drowned out the crying of your baby. If he does wake up, then just know this won't last and it will be worth it in the end.

You might try giving him a bottle with cereal in it just a hour before bed time. This might help with hunger, which might be what's waking him up.

Love and Light,
Rev. G. Hudson, Reiki Master.

I have an 8 month old that does something simular when he's teething. He just enjoyed being cuddled, so for naps I put him to sleep on his boppy pillow. He doesn't sleep as long as if someone were holding him, but he will go down for at least an hour. I guess it may feel like he is being held in some way. Hope that helps you with your little ones sleep troubles! I also give him teething tablets, they seem to have a calming effect so that he doesn't fight his sleep quite as much. Hope that helps.

Hello, I am having very similar problems with my 8 month old ( whom did sleep through the night at 3 & 4 months old!). I keep thinking that it could be GERD or food allergies. I was wondering if/ how this resolved for you???

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