8 Year Old Son Who Is Not Interested in School Academics.

S.:

Before the school year is over, contact the teacher and principal and ask that a Connor's Evauation be done as well as a full evaluation by the state.
The Connor's will aid in determining where he falls into the ADD/ADHD range. having the state evaluation done will get him any extra help that he needs.

Good Luck.

Although my son makes good grades, he does have trouble focusing. I've put off having him testing for ADD since I don't want him labeled. He is 7 and in 2nd grade. What I do when he doesn't seem to want to sit still is set a timer. Say he has 2 pages of math homework I'll give him 10 minutes to finish them both. Then I reset the timer for an appropriate amount depending on what other homework he may have. The timer is reset for each different subject. I've had to do this since Kindergarten. The closer we get to the end of the year the worse the problem gets. hth.

I was the same way as a child. It used to take me hours to do my homework. Not because it was hard- exactly the opposite, it was so easy that I was bored and stopped paying attention. Then as I got older, math became more difficult and I still did not pay attention, so I got behind. I was easily distracted and these days, they would probably have said that I had ADD too but it was simply that I needed some extra attention to help me succeed. He's probably a smart kid that is so interested in thinking about things that he does not pay attention to what is around him. And if a subject does not interest him, he tunes it out and starts daydreaming. This was my problem. It's great that you are working on this problem now before he is in high school and the pressure will be greater. Please do not put him on ritalin or anything else. If a doctor says he needs drugs, I would definitely get a second opinion and try to find a doctor that works with kids without drugs. There are so many parents who are too quick to drug up their kids when all they need is a little extra attention. I used to take care of a boy with ADHD who truly needed medication. He was a terror and he could not sit still to concentrate on anything and did not get along with the other kids because he did not have the patience to play with others. Then once he had the medication he was a different kid. But there were a lot of side effects. He lost so much weight that he dropped down a full pants size and he was a small kid to begin with.
From your description, I would say that your son just needs some reminders set up. You should talk to his teachers every few weeks to see how he is doing and maybe consult the school psychologist too. My teachers used to let me get out of class about 2 minutes before the rest of the kids to get to my locker so I would not miss the school bus. My mother wrote up a checklist of things I had to do every morning and another one for home. You need to work with him every night to help him to be more organized and help him make lists of what needs to be done. Have him do his homework at the kitchen table- not in his bedroom, away from the tv, computers, video games, etc, anything distracting. Also, take him to the store and let him pick out a really cool notebook or organizer so he can write down his homework assignments in it. I know kids do not always remember to do this (I didn't always) but this may help. This was very helpful for me because I was always forgetful. You should still keep working to find a tutor who will help. Ask the teacher if he/she knows a high school or middle school student that would be willing to work with him after school. Kids often work better with older kids rather than an adult tutor. They are usually more fun. And discuss with your son his tendency to daydream or become distracted. It helped me when I was more aware of it. And praise him when he does something well. Tell him how proud you are of him, and let him know that you love him, even when he makes mistakes. And eventually, he should grow out of it. I still have my distracted and forgetful moments, but I got through high school, college and graduate school, so your son can do it too.

Hi S.,

Yes, I've had this problem. Try to get your son evaluated for ADHD. My 8 year-old son showed similar symptoms, and he's been diagnosed w/ADHD. It's hard work, but try to make his work creative. Find fun educational activities online. Let him play skill-building games online, and print some activities. Encourage him to challenge himself by offering small rewards after, say, one week of doing a task from beginning to end as instructed without being reminded. I bought my son an atm machine from Target. His reward is $1 for each completed task paid every Friday. Each time he collects, he makes a deposit. You have to see this. It has a card that he programs to recognize his name and creates a pin #. Of course, I hold onto the atm card. He can make depisits, withdrawals, and check his account balance. It teaches him the value of the dollar while strengthening his math skills. He looks forward to collecting his "pay" at the end of the week if he does well. When the ice cream truck comes around, he asks for his atm card. I approve the withdrawal amount. He withdraws & runs out to get his ice cream. In the cooler months, he went to the dollar store, and chose something. All this to say, make things fun for him. As someone boldly told me--he's bored. He may also need his self-esteem restored. As a result of your creativity, whatever you do, you may be pleased to see his grades go up. Good luck.
M.

I like the advice Christina gave about finding out his learning style. The style she couldn't identify is kinethetic. Kinesthetic learners require more physical ways of learning. My son is a kinesthetic learner and it does drive me nuts sometimes but I have to learn how to get to him. This type of learning style is often misdiagnosed as ADHD. So research this, see if your son fits the description before you decide on any evaluations. He may simply just need a firm hand to keep on track. Good luck.

A.

Hi S., My 9 year old grandson is the same way. He has little interest in school except for the social aspect. My daughter recently enrolled him in Sylvan learning school,(it is very expensive) I see an improvement in a few weeks. Some of it is he had no confidence in himself. Both parents expect a lot from him. They are also divorced and dad has already started another family and I know he is distracted by that. He was the only son and now there is another. Je will not be able to continue the tutoring for the summer so I don't know what will happen. I'm only telling you all of this in case somethings are similar. Please don't jump to ADD unless your Doctor thinks so. That only leads to medication which will cause other problems. Try to see if you can get some help in his school or maybe some counselling. good wishes,Grandma Mary

If you suspect ADHD, go to these websites:
chadd.org
drthomasebrown.com
Good luck and feel free to contact me if you have questions.
C. Z

Your son's behavior sounds similar to my daughter's behavior when she was the same age with the exception that none of the teachers were willing to give her the actual grades she earned so she was not evaluated until 5th grade where it was difficult to discover her actual problem. She would have to have failing grades for the school to evaluate her. The insurance we had at the time did not pay for the evaluations she needed so we were dependant on what the school could provide. Girls are able to hide ADD symptoms as they get older because of the social issues. If you are able to get him evaluated preferrably outside of school (very expensive if the insurance doesn't cover) then you will be in able to get all kinds of help and assistance from the special education services available through the public school system. It does not sound like tutoring alone is the answer. Tutoring did not help my daughter at all. Don't try to fix it on your own and keep pushing for answers until you are satisfied and convinced that you have the information you need. It is not easy to raise kids these days and it is extra challenging when you have a child with unmet needs.

Hi S.,

"I have looked into tutors but every thing was full"

put up a notecard at the high school or put an ad in the school or town newspaper -- get an older student to help; be good for your son and them! When I was in high school, I tutored younger students in math, it was a great experience.

Don't give up -- if he needs help, he should get it now -- math builds on itself.

Perhaps math is not his strong suit and that is ok -- but that may not be the only problem. Most math teachers, IMO (please forgive me for generalizing, I know there are exceptions) are generally not very effective. I tutor math to kids. Most the time they come to me a couple weeks before a final (like now!). I figure out where they lost it (which is often something covered in a previous grade), bring them up to speed, have them work lots of problems, and they usually ace their exam. I teach in exchange for work around the house as my business is computer programming and training; I would not make enough as a tutor to support my family.

Warm Regards,
C.

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(: have an awesome day :)
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Check into Sylvans learning center... it really worked for my little brother..

My son was the same way, it was around the same time, 2-3rd grade that the problems really came to head. He was diagnozed with ADD/ADHD. We were talking with the teacher or principal every other day. When it was a subject he liked, he had tunnel vision and didnt want to move to the next subject. He not only would not want to write, but he would get mad and dig the pencil in and rip his paper with his frustration and anger.

Part of it is his personality and learning style. A great book called 'How They Learn' by Cynthia Tobias was fantastic. Really helped me understand his personality and learning style. This helped me work with his teachers to find alternatives to completing the work. One thing we did was get the teachers to limit his writing. If they had to write 10 sentences, he only wrote 7. They allow typing of the work instead of writing. Just little modifications really helped. This allowed him to gain confidence that he could keep up. His thoughts were, if I cant do it, why bother.

The learning style was only part of the problem. He did have ADD/ADHD so we looked at our options. We decided NOT to put him on meds. I have researched the ADD/ADHD symptons using natural alternatives. He is now showing his potential (very bright child) the growth factor is wonderful.

The problem with ADD/ADHD is that their bodies are missing the nutritian and the overload of the toxins and chemicals in many of the products we use being absorbed into their bodies, this will limit the production of the nuero transmitters that go to the brain and help with focus and attention. Removing those toxins and taking nutritionals to give them "brain food" has helped my son with focus and attention. I want to fix the problem, not mask it with a bandaid of prescriptions that will mask the symptoms, but not remove them.

These facts are well documented. Oprah has done lots of shows on the effects of the chemicals and toxins used in everyday products and the side effects they cause, from asthma, allergies, infertility etc. The EPA.gov website also gives more information.

If you have interest in learning more about the effects and how to alleviate the symptons in a natural way, feel free to email me. I can email you some documents with facts.

PS My son has went from modified writing to writing books!

S. M
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www.EmpoweringWomenForSuccess.com

He sounds like a normal boy to me. Lots of children are not interested in school work, because they find it boring. My son forgot his homework assignments a lot. It took a while to staighten him out on it, but he's doing good now. I think it was around 3rd grade when my son actually started to remember to bring assignments home. You need to find out what is going on when he gets ready to come home or when he is supposed to be putting his homework in his backpack. You might have to tell him not to talk until the homework's in the backpack first. (My son was talking to his friends while he was getting ready to come home, which is a distraction for anyone.) You might have to have the teacher help you set up a system for him to remember what comes home.

For math, why don't you tutor your son? Parents are the best teachers. If he's learning to count, then count marshmellows for a recipe. If he's adding, then add up some apples. Be creative and you'll see the math score change. Make him compete with himself by having him try to out do his last grade. Explain to him that class isn't always going to be fun, but you have to pay attention so you don't miss any information.

I hate to say this but he sounds like a normal 8yr old boy...I say this because I have an almost9,7,6,4 and bringing up the rear 21month old...all boys! My 8 and 7 year old are in 3rd and 2nd grade...they are both very good students and yet both are very easily distracted and my oldest forgets everything!(homework,hats,lunchbox,books...you name it he's lost, forgotten or broken it)...that being said the best thing you can do is figure out how your son learns and then go with it...my third son is a visual learner, you can tell him something a thousand times and nothing will sink in...he sees it once and he knows it forever...my 7yr old(I forget the term for it)learns better when he is standing or moving...drives me crazy but I went to a parenting workshop and they went over all these types of learning and they said if your child wants to stand while doing homework...let him... besides that I make sure there is no tv or anything going on at homework time and it's always at the same time... also check with your school for programs over the summer...they usually have math or reading programs...also check your local library for clubs and tutors...and depending on your finances you can check out sylvn or hunnington...don't give up, he'll get there! Goodluck!

Hi S.
I would have your son tested for the ADD. It is very common and I think it's been around forever it just has a name now. My son, now 23, has ADD.
He never had any interest in school. It never mattered to him whether he got an A or an F on a test or report. It was difficult dealing with him when it came to school work unless he found it interesting and challenging. Kids with ADD need to be stimulated with interesting things and need help so that they don't get loss in their short attention spans. (Unless they are interested) My son, when he was younger, was put on Ridalin and did well with it. He didn't like taking it so we tried to see how he did without it at school for a month. There was a definite difference in his attention span and his grades and behavior in school. He decided to go back on the medication. He was on a low dose and it did help him. I never gave it to him on weekends or in the summer. The Dr said we could use it that way. He is off it now and has been for years but his life is very unorganized. He's a great guy. I know there are many other things out there but I think the best thing to do is have him tested. All kids are different. (OH..I never had a problem with him going to school because he loved it) Good luck. I hope this helped. D.

Before doing anything else, I would definitely consider having your son tested for ADD. You really have nothing to lose, and once you know, it will be so much easier to decide which course of action to take next. As an elementary school teacher, I have seen far too many cases where the parents decide to hold off on testing mostly because of a fear of "labeling", only ending in a great detriment to the child. The sooner you know so that you can take the correct course of action, the better. Please don't let any more precious time go by!

Well, I can only speak from personal experience as an 8 year old, since I'm pregnant with no children.
Anyway, when I was 8, school work was incredibly boring because it was so easy and obvious. It wasn't until junior high/high school that I started getting interested and until that time, my grades stunk - schoolwork just didn't hold my attention. I don't know if this is the case with your son, but it might encourage you to know that I grew up to be valedictorian of my senior class and went to a good university. :)

Hi S.,

I have 3 sons--23, 22, & 9, who have all loved academics, but learned better in less traditional environments. I homeschooled the older ones, until they went to college, because public schools were uninspiring and unsafe and private schools were elitist and expensive. When I moved to NY, I sent my 9yo to The East Village Community School, because it had the reputation of being "alternative" and it was relatively small. In the middle of last year, I ended up taking him out and working on starting a new school, which would be safe, inspiring, diverse, and affordable. That school is called The Manhattan Free School. You might want to check out the website: http://manhattanfreeschool.org/

S.