17 answers

8 Year Old Son Can't Tie Shoes

I am having the hardest time dealing with my 8 year old right now! First of all, he seems to rebel when I try to teach him something. He's not good at taking instruction from his dad either, however he is a perfect angel at school, church, etc. I know this is typical, but I am a stay at home mom and I need him to be able to learn from me. We have a major issue right now with learning to tie shoes. The subject has been addressed in our family before, but I've had it now. I need him to learn to tie his own shoes. He is actually in need of a new pair of shoes and I told him that when he learned to tie his shoes, I would buy him a new pair. I thought this would be a motivation, but it just made him really mad. I have a younger son and we would like to have another baby soon, so I can't be dealing with tying my 8 year old's shoes. Does anyone have any experience with this? I've tried in times past to teach him to tie his shoes, but he hasn't been able to "get it". I need some new tricks, methods, etc. to try with him. Or I just need to find someone else to teach him that he would willingly learn from. Please help!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

UPDATE: Okay, we went shoe shopping Friday night and I was ready to just get velcro shoes and let the whole thing go, but he insisted on tie shoes. I figured at least this will give him opportunity to learn, so I gave in. I did tell him that sometime in the next few weeks I would like it if he at least tried to tie his shoes. On Saturday, HE came to ME with the shoes on and asked if I would show him how to tie them. In 30 minutes, he was doing great! Thank you all so much for helping! I realized it was as much his resistance as it was my attitude about the whole thing that was making the situation difficult.

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It took me a long time to learn, and I always picked slip on shoes. Come to think of it, most of my shoes now are slip on... but I do know how to tie my shoes. Eventually I got it. Could you just get his next shoes ones he can put on by himself?

K.

Relax Mom ..he will just do it one day when you aren't trying to get him to...buy him shoes that don't need tieing, they make shoes that look like they lace, put stretching shoe laces in his shoes, they don't have to be tied. It sounds like at this point the issue is more than it should be. Get him a dvd or vidieo that shows how to do it. Let him learn on his own...But don't make this a huge issue or he will quit trying

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have you tried the bunny ears trick, esp with easter so near he might be interested in tying up the bunny ears on his shoes

Yes, I've had the same--- my son, but make it into a game-tell him he's a big boy and you know he's so smart and have him practice on Daddy's shoe. Let him put Daddy's shoes on and work with him from there and let him know dad will appreciate him tying his shoes for him. I believe he'll have fun with that. Give him a big hug and give him a little surprise. Best wishes!

Our little guy was not understanding how to tie he shoes. But one morning he did it!! I acknowledge his success and ask if someone helped to teach him a different way. His best friend in school would tie hiw shoe each day in school then taught him how!!

Sometimes we parents speak a foreign language to our kids. They learn on a different level. So sometimes it takes one of their peers to explain and help.

I bet one of his friends would be able to explain it.

Best Wishes,

J. H.

I learned the "wrong" way to tie and now at 56 can only tie this way. After you do the initial cross over, one lace crossed under the other, and pulled tight, make a loop out of both laces. Cross the loops, one under the other and pull and you have just tied your bow. You can't tell it wasn't tied the "accepted" way and it stays tied just as securely.

H., I totally understand what your going thru!!! My son is 8 and just learned to tie his shoes. I felt like I was beating my head against a brick wall for the longest time. It sounds like your son is alot like mine. The best advise I can give you is to see if someone he is real close to, like an aunt, uncle, grandparent, or even one of his friends, teach him. And yes I do mean one of his friends his age. Also, I had decided to quit stressing over it, and that is when my son descided to tie his shoes. Good luck, and my prayers are with you!!!

Relax Mom ..he will just do it one day when you aren't trying to get him to...buy him shoes that don't need tieing, they make shoes that look like they lace, put stretching shoe laces in his shoes, they don't have to be tied. It sounds like at this point the issue is more than it should be. Get him a dvd or vidieo that shows how to do it. Let him learn on his own...But don't make this a huge issue or he will quit trying

I don't remember exactly how old I was when I learned to tie my own shoes, but I was older than what I guess was expected. I remember my older brother and his friends making fun of me. One of his friends showed me, that was it!

It sounds like this has become a power issue between you two. Ask a friend, aunt, uncle, kid next door, Sunday school teacher to teach him.

I am having the same issues with my 7 1/2 yr old. Not only is it the shoes...it's roller blading, bike riding...pretty much anything that he cannot grab on to the first or second try...he gets mad and quits.
I am due with our 3rd baby in 3 weeks and have a 4 yr old daughter. He has got to learn to be more independant this summer! I will keep you posted if I find anything that works!

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