8 Year Old Anger Issues

J.-hello. I read your dilemma & I feel for you. I do agree that if you don't take care of this now, while he's young, he may get worse as he gets older. I think the best advice I could give you (my two cents) is to pray. Ask God to give you wisdom on how to handle this situation. Know that this is not the way He wants you son to be because He created us in His likeness. Pray for your son to be filled with joy & happiness. I hope this helps. I will be praying for your son, as well, but there's nothing stronger than a praying parent! God Bless!

1 mom found this helpful

I have a daughter that has similar issues. I think one of the things I learned that best helped her with emotions was mirroring her emotions to her. You said you have trouble helping him know. One of the best things for us was saying "you are angry." That gives them the word for the emotion. A favroite word in our house is frustrated. The kids use it all that time, because when they were we would say "you seem frustrated." I think the first key is giving him the language for the emotions. We then went on to letting the kids know all their empotions are ok. It is ok for your son to be angry at whatever he wants, it is not ok for him to throw things. So then it becomes "wow, you are really angry. I can understand that, I don't like when people stare at me (or whatever), but I can't allow you to throw things (or yell or whatever). what is something you might try instead next time?" I know it is cheesy but it worked for our kids. They still do inappropriate things sometimes, but it cut down on those things a lot. There are a million books on this stuff, but all this comes from the love and logic theories.

1 mom found this helpful

There is a book called, "How to Take the GRRRR Out of Anger," by Elizabith Verdick that walks through angry emotions, recognizing when it is coming, and steps to take to deal with it. It was recommended to me by a psychologist when my son was going through all of this (with him it WAS a constant problem). My son could not handle stress, and anger was his way of dealing with it all. My son is an extremely sensitive child so something that wouldn't get others upset would get him upset (even as simple as someone looking at him). Getting him to see a situation like other people can see it was the real challenge (and not reacting based on what you THINK you know).

1 mom found this helpful

If your son is in public school the school system should have its own pyschologist that can come in and evaluate your son and find out what is going on. My son, also 8 just went through an evaluation and it helped a lot. Speak to the school counselor and ask them if the school system has an appointed psychologist that watches them in a school setting and have an evaluation done that way. They will watch how your son acts in class, handles transitions, channels frustrations, and handles different situations that may arise in class. Also, they will interview him and find out what might be causing the outbursts and show him ways of dealing with it before the outburst happens.

J., YOUR ARE NOT LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE, MY DAUGHTER SAW WHAT IS CALLED A PLAY THERAPTIST WHEN SHEWAS 4 YRS OLD. CONTACT YOUR LOCAL CHILD ADVOCACEY CENTER AND THEY WILL HELP YOU.YOU COULD CALL YOUR LOCAL CPC, THEY CAN PROBABLY GIVE YOU SOME NAMES. HOPE THIS HELPS YOU SOME.

The Child Study Center in Fort Worth has Behavioral Analysts and Psychologysts. My son is Autistic and we have been going there for a long time. The Behavior analyst, or one of them is Duy Lei. He is great. Very, very smart and knows his stuff. But he would be great for your son. Just give them a call and maybe at least an assessment wouldn't hurt to see what they think. It could even be over the phone and possibly would be anyway. Good luck. D.

Hey J.,

What kind of dicipline do you use? I find that dicipline works very well as long as you keep it in force. If you don't beleive in spanking, then there are other effective ways that i have learned. Like taking every single toy or video game away, then every day that he is good or does a chore, give him one back at a time. Just one though. If he does bad again take them all away for a few days the next time.
I hope that you find some solution soon! God Bless
A.

J.,
if your son is in public school, there is no reason that you can't request he be evaluated for emotional/behavior disorder. The school counselor should have tons of information regarding this. In fact, I'm surprised his teacher didn't recommend this to you seeing as how the outburst occur in more then one place (home and school). The school district should have a specialist that can help your son learn replacement behaviors for when he is feeling "out of control".
You should definetly seek help now to change the behavior because once it gels in his mind that this is ok (pre-teen years) it becomes almost impossible to change.

There is a Child and Family Guidance Center in Old Mesquite on Gross I think between Main and Kearney but they have a psychiatrist and they also just have good old fashioned counciling for children to begin with. If you go straight to a psychiatrist their options are medication. He may only need more feasible ways (for him)to deal with his anger. Ways that may be difficult for you to come up with because you don't have the same problem.

I have a great pyschologist who sees children that young. Her name is Nancy Smith, PhD. Number ###-###-####. It is a practice of pyschiatrists and pyschologists across from Presby Dallas Hospital. It is a drive, but worth it. My daughter, then 5, went for social/emotional issues after her school recommended therapy. She attended a play therapy group there for 6 months. It was a positive experience for her.

I saw children as young as 3 (who had experienced something traumatic in their lives) there.. If Nancy is not a good fit, then there are therapists she will help you work with (within the same group). I met many families in the waiting room who drove from Plano (like me) and McKinney. They are a well-known practice, especially working with children/teens.

Good luck!

Why wouldn't a psychologist see your son? Isn't that the purpose of a CHILD psychologist? Cook's Children's network has them. I believe there's an office in Denton. Public school counsellors are also trained to deal with this.