8 Months Old and Not Sleeping

Are you cosleeping with your baby? This could help her sleep better. If you are, however, already cosleeping, the problem may be that she is overstimulated by things such as the sensation of being next to you, and perhaps smelling your milk (a constant reminder of food for a baby)--that is, if you breastfeed her at all. Waking after sleeping only 3-4 hours a stretch at night is totally normal for a breastfed baby. You are exactly right to be concerned about her lack of sleep, because it has a lot to do with brain development and coping skills later on in life. It also is a sign of a strong-willed child...you've got a natural-born leader there.

My second-born shared our family bed and kept me up a lot. I sometimes think she would have been a better 'crib baby'. I just didn't have room for a crib in our house and I didn't want transitioning to a toddler bed to be a ridiculous ordeal.

I do suggest you have her seen by a chiropractor and/or your family doc because she may have an ear infection, or as my daughter had for a very long time as an infant, untreated sinusitis.

Good luck, I share your pain. I went almost two full years without adequate sleep each and every night. Nobody can know how you feel, how hard it is to get it together, unless they've gone through a long bout of sleep deprivation like you've had to do. I would urge you to reject advice from people who believe in making your child sleep via the so-called 'cry-it-out' method. This will only add to her stress as it is not conducive to sleep in the long-term.

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Hi, C.!
I have read everyone's reply to you and here is my suggestion as well. I would get a CD with the relaxing sounds of water falls/ocean waves, or rainfall and play it on low. I mention these because there is a calming effect about water that generates a reseptor in our brains that relaxes us. I would also get a fan that rotates and turn it on low. The smell of lavender is also relaxing, so bathe your baby in Johnson's Baby Lavender Nightitme Bath (use only the amount the bottle suggest) or use the lavender lotion, play the water CD and turn on the fan, have a dim light or nightlight on. This way if your baby wakes up she won't be frightened by the darkness. Try it out and you will see how relaxing this can be! Let me know.

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Whether you can let your baby cry it out or not is up to you. I could never do it. I kept thinking of the Russian orphanages where the babies never cry and sleep all the time, but thats because no one ever picks them up or soothes them. I never wanted to risk my child learning that I won't be there when he needs me. To me that's not a coping skill.

That being said here's things I use to help my children sleep more soundly:

* A fan, actually an air purifier, runs all night to provide background noise.

* A colored night light that I purchased at IKEA. I also used the fisher price aquarium which works great on a crib (and bunk bed ladder). My oldst son, who is 6, still falls asleep to the sound of water and lights from the aquarium. The bubbler quit years ago but he will still turn it on in the middle of the night if he wakes up.

* A CD that not only plays soothing music but includes Beta waves to help calm the sleeper into a deeper sleep.

* I make sure the temperature is cool unless one of them is suffering from upper chest congestion. The body sleeps better in a cool room.

* A consistent bed routine that starts even before actual "bed" time.

* Finally, and this will most likely be controversial to other moms, I use Melatonin. Especially with my youngest, who like your baby, NEVER slept consistently. I did this at the direction of his pediatrician. Apparently there are some children who's brains do not release the appropriate amount of hormone to tell the body it should go to sleep. So these children never get into a deep REM sleep because their brain won't let them. I give the melatonin in a small amount of juice with a syringe. The kids call it "nighttime medicine" and since it doesn't have a taste, they take it willingly. It has been used in children as young as 6 months with no side effects.

* If you don't want to try the melatonin, you can try to increase melatonin naturally in your baby by exposing her to as much sunlight during the day as possible. I know this is hard in the cold months but a study of babies showed that babies with more than 4 hours of sun exposure during the day went to sleep more easily and slept with less disturbances.

I want to stress to you that the number of hours your baby sleeps is not related to your parenting skills and don't let anyone convince that it is. Some babies sleep immediately, some don't. Even if you do get your baby to sleep through the night, it won't be permanent. She's going to get teeth and her brain will get more developed and things are going to happen during the day that will get her keyed up... all these things cause a child to wake up. When I had my first son, my father's only advice to me was "You'll sleep plenty when you're dead." I didn't understand at first but now I do. Even though both my children now sleep regularly through the night, I still get up occasionally to check on them and I'm sure I'm going to miss a lot of sleep when they are old enough to go out and drive places on their own.

And I apologize for this being so long but I have one more suggestion. I don't know if your daughter's father is around or if you have family close by, but you need to for a break. Call a friend, or your family, anyone you trust and say, "I'm exhausted and I need some help. Could you please watch the baby so I can get some sleep?" My parents would take my kids overnight occasionally so I could get a good nights sleep and it saved me.

Good luck. And no matter what, this will pass. No one writes to Mamasource asking for advice on how to get their 3 year old to sleep through the night.

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It sounds like your little one doesn't know how to self soothe herself back to sleep. We use the book Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. She is known as the sleep lady, she has been featured on Dr. Phil, Oprah, etc. The book is amazing. It is broken up into sections by age so you know how much sleep they need at each age and how to teach them how to learn to self soothe. And her methods are very gentle you won't have to let her cry it out. Plus in the back of the book there are sections on medical conditions, and routine busters and a section for the parents. The book got our second child sleeping through the night at 4 months. He sleeps from 6:30 to 7:00. And our oldest who is 2 1/2 sleeps from 8-7. Bedtime is so easy they just go to bed willing. I can't recommend the book enough. It will get you both some sleep. You can google The Sleep Lady if you want to read more about her.

Hi C.,

After you make sure she is dry, not hungry, and has nothing that should make her unhappy besides the fact that you are putting her to bed....put her in her bed. Do not go into her room to check on her or you will be starting all over again. Be consistent, and follow through. This will not work unless you do these two things. It will seem like it takes forever to work at the time (usually only takes a few days), but once it does work you will wonder why you didn't do this sooner. It is heaven, for you and your baby. This will change your whole lives because everyone will be much happier. You only live one life, so it might as well be a happy one.

Hang in there...you CAN do it!

C.

My son is three months and is sleeping through the night, it was hard but I owe it all to a book called. Solve your childs sleep problems, by Richard Ferber.
I bought it I was so impressed and can use it until he is 18yrs old.
It was really hard to listen to my son cry through the night for the three nights it took, but that was it he was upset for three nights and now he is taking good naps, 30min to 1hr and 30 min, and sleeping 8-10 hours through the night.
The book basically says to leave them to learn their own coping skills, and how to self soothe through the night when they wake-up. He cried alot, but I would peek at the door, but dont go in, and like I said, three nights, that was it, Its hard but it has been worth it and he is a much happier baby, we actually get to play during the day, cause everybody is happier with a bit more sleep.
Good Luck!

My son was like that at 5 months old. The book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Weissbluth, saved my sanity. Go get it now!

i feel your pain! my son is 16 mo's old and is still like your little girl. one thing we did was let him start sleeping with us. we put him down at 8, then he wakes up around 11 and we bring him in with us. he tends to sleep for longer periods with us. is she nursing? the cry out method did not work for us at all. we tried for 2 monthes. some babies just need you more than others i think. thanks for asking the question, i'm checking out your responces too. good luck...you're not alone!

Our ped. recommended Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." I see that someone else has also recommended this book. We found it when my oldest was 5 months old and doing the same thing. I am thankful every day for reading that book. We followed it with both our kids, and they're both good sleepers and happy when they're not sleeping. Good luck!
E.

When my daughter was a baby, we had to have her sleep in the car seat..one that tilted back. It was the ONLY way she would sleep. When we moved her to the crib, we lowered one end of it about one notch and that did the trick for her, she slept beautifully. Turns out she has asthma (not saying that your daughter does) and even though she wasn't wheezing or anything, it helped her to sleep in a more upright position as she could breath better that way. You also might try taking her to a chiro just in case it's something that's out of alignment that is making it difficult and painful for her to lay on her back. Good luck to ya hun!! :)

I'd check with her ped to make sure nothing medical is going on.

Though i think it depends on the child and the sleep arrangements i found that my son in his own room with a lovey (small stuffed animal) was the perfect combo for my little one. At 11 months he sleeps 12 hours at night, and take 1 or 2 hour to 2 hour naps a day. As long as he has his stuffed monkey he is happy.

If she is still in the infant car seat what we did is we would put our boys in it, put it on top of the washer on the spin cycle for a few minutes, and that put them wright to sleep. Then we'd lean it against the humidifier in our room and they stayed asleep all night long.

Maybe she has an sensitive tummy. Try giving her Mylacon drops (the generic version is fine). My husband and I swore by those things when oldest was a baby. If that doesn't work talk to your Dr.

www.askdrsears.com

sleep will never be the same again :P
however, there are some things to try, in my opinion and experience, crying it out isnt one of them

night light, white noise (a cd called 'for crying out loud' works like a charm for us) - lullabye cd, putting books and sippy cup of water in bed with her. using a nuk and a snuggle or some kind... sleeping in the same room as mom and dad (yes - in her own bed is fine - our son is 2 and still sleeps in his crib in our room)
anyway good luck!

I have found an awesome resource in the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. Several of my friends have read it as well, including friends who have had twins! It is flexible, so it has recommendations for whatever philosophy you choose to go by in terms of getting your child to sleep. Hope it helps!