13 answers

8 Month Old Crying When I Put Her in bed..this Is New


My 8 month old has started to cry and scream when I put her in her crib for bed. She used to lay there and watch her mobile or singing seahorse and I may have to go in and restart them, but she would go to sleep shortly thereafter without me around. Well all that has changed in the last week. Now she may be asleep when I initially put her in the crib from falling asleep during nursing or be completely awake when I put her in the crib and she cries when I walk away and gets to the point of screaming and won't stop until I stay with her. I know that she is going through seperation anxiety right now as well, according to signs and symptoms I have read from baby.com and it's the age for it as well. I go in and check on her and make sure she is OK and gives her binky back and whatnot, but she won't stop the scream thing...she eventually falls asleep, with me there of coarse and for a good hour does the uhuhhhh sound after having a fit while she is asleep. I can't even get her to sleep in her crib for afternoon naps, unless she is already asleep when I put her in there. She takes power naps, not too many though...her sleep schedule is good. I would like to get her to take longer naps though.
I don't do things differently, everything is the same as usual for bedtime. We have a routine, so it's not as if there is something new happening. I know that I need to let her fall asleep on her own for both of our own good...especially since I don't want her completely dependent on me to be there for her to go to sleep. We are not fans of the "cry it out" method, so I go to her and talk to her and stroke her hair. I try not to take her out of her crib most of the time, sometimes I do if she gets really upset. She does fall asleep in her crib eventually. She is teething as well, she already has her 2 bottom teeth and working on more.
She sleeps all night and has since 8 weeks old. In the morning, I nurse her and then we go back to bed in my bed for a nap. I have no issues with this, I enjoy sleeping with her in my bed. My hubby and I used to have her in our bed always and we stopped that at 5 months old. So now, it's just morning nap. Her crib is in our room...I wouldn't have that any other way either. We did all of the same things with our son, who is now 8 years old. When he was 2 we put him in his own room with no problem. We plan the same with our daughter.
Sorry so long, but I wanted to give the setting and how we do things. Any suggestions on what else I can do to get my daughter to bed without having me there? It breaks both my and my hubby's hearts to hear her scream for a long time...we go and check on her and are trying to do the right thing for her.

What can I do next?

More Answers

I think is called separation anxiety and apparently your baby is starting to experiment it. I read that you should talk to her and let her know that you will be back to check on her later and leave her there. Come back (I guess three minutes later) and tell her the same thing. It is just to reasure her that you are always coming back. I hope that does not happen to me. Good luck!!!

1 mom found this helpful

If you have ruled out anything physical it is very likely it is just separation anxiety. This is a very common age to start missing mom and dad. If you are not fans of the cry it out method, then you are really doing all you can. I would just suggest music or white noise. Something for her to listen to or be preoccupied with while alone in the crib. Another thing is if you don't have a set routine like reading a book & bath this might help. Sorry. Know it will get better. My only true suggestion is to avoid bringing her to bed or rocking to sleep. This will only cause problems later on. I know as I have two problem sleepers. One was definately because of giving in and bringing her to bed to keep the older one asleep. Finally at 18 months the only thing that worked for us was cry it out! Also not a huge fan, but it has worked wonders. And it isn't let them cry till they fall asleep. You do go in and can talk to them at scheduled intervals that get longer each day. Hope it gets better!

1 mom found this helpful

Hello! Please thank your husband for me for his service and sacrifices! I appreciate what he is doing (and you too!) I know it's not easy all the time being a military wife.

The only thing I can think of for your daughters problem is that something happened that she remembers - perhaps a spider bite?

However, separation anxiety does have the same symptoms and unfortunately, I didn't have this problem with any of my kids. Is it possible for you to rearrange her room to help her out?

Again - thanks for your service to our country! VERY much appreciated.

Take care!

1 mom found this helpful

This is exactly what happened to me and at exactly the same age. It has taken a lot to get my daughter to sleep in her crib again and I still can't get her to fall asleep on her own and she'll be 11 months on Monday. I really don't have any advice, just wanted you to know you're not alone...made me feel much better reading this post. I was sure I was doing something wrong.

1 mom found this helpful

Well the first thing i want to say it children are different even in the same family. Just because you are doing worked with your son doesn't mean its going to work for your daughter. What i think one of two things happened either you do the same thing every night but one day you left the room and she made a noise and you came back. Children are quick you see changes even if they are suddle. She went OH I don't like to be alone and look she came back when i yelled so now she does it every night and you come back every time. OR her bed time needs to be changed. I would suggest moving her bedtime either a 1/2 hr earlier or later. It should be at about 7:30pm now If it's later than that i would suggest moving it 1/2 earlier each week to get it closer to the right time. Amazingly children will be inconsolable if they are over tired. or if they are not tired yet they will want company because they aren't tired yet and want company until they are. Good luck

1 mom found this helpful

Same thing happened to my 8 month old son. He was a wonderful sleeper his whole life. All we would do is lay him in his crib, give him kiss goodnight, leave the room and would fall calmly put himself to sleep. Now for about the past 2 weeks he has been pretty upset when set in his crib. For a while it looked like he was hungry (thirsty) and a bottle really helped him calm down. Now we have adjusted his meal times to help him not be hungry at night.
I also will let him crawl around on the floor for about 15-20 more minutes until he truly becomes tired enough to bypass fussing and go straight to sleep.
Also I started cuddling with him in the rocking chair in his dark bedroom for about 15 minutes before bed. I've never had to do that before. It's nice to snuggle with him, but I do hope that he doesn't become dependent on it because I will not always have the time to rock him.
Those are what I have tried recently, and I hope these ideas will help.
He doesn't cry anymore when I leave the bedroom after doing these things.
Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi MW,

Here are some web sites that make you give the answers to what you need to know.




I would suggest that you find a support group for moms for various educational and supportive help throughout your parenting years.

www.kidspriorityone.org or ###-###-####



I am sure the Army has a resource listing for parent support groups and parent education classes.

Good luck. Hope this helps. D.


A classic sign of ear infection is when put in a laying down position, they are fussy or cry.

If not medical, then I'd suggest a white noise CD, and I'd also make bedtime routine a little longer, perhaps add a bath every night.

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