L.J. asks from Butte, MT on January 25, 2007
8 Month Old Baby Won't Sleep in Crib
My daughter will be eight months old on January 26th and has been co-sleeping with me and my husband since she was born. I know this was a mistake, everyone told us it was, but we did it and now I am having trouble getting her to sleep in her crib. (surprise!) Anyways, I guess I want to know how many other people had this problem and what they did about it. I hate letting her cry, especially because she is at the age where seperation anxiety takes hold and I know that she just wants someone there with her. Any advice would help!
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M.C. answers from Des Moines on January 26, 2007
Hi, L.! My son is 11 months and since he was born we could only get him to sleep in his swing. By 7 or 8 months he was getting a little big to sleep in his swing. We put him in his crib and ended up getting up with him ALL THE TIME b/c he didnt want to be in there. They suggested that we put him in his crib when he started getting tired (rubbing his eyes etc.) Eventually he started recognizing that when he's tired he goes there. We went through the "self soothing" thing which broke my heart. We would only go in after about 5 minutes of him crying...lay him back down and tell him goodnight and leave again. It was REALLY hard for a few days but since about the third night he goes to sleep without making a peep. We put a music station (sirius) on his TV so he has a little light and soothing music. It's worked really well. He also sleeps with a blanket that he only gets at bed time which soothes him also. Hope it helps!
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P.S. answers from Davenport on March 22, 2007
Dear L.,
I too had this same problem with both of my children. I know it is difficult to listen to them cry but, I have learned that that is the best way. Sometimes I would lay with them until they fell asleep and then put them into their crib or I would play nightime songs and sit in the room with them for a while until they were to sleepy to argue with me about going to bed. I weaned my daughter off of sleeping with me in 1 week. It was hard, but, once again, it had to be done.
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M.C. answers from Des Moines on January 26, 2007
Hi, L.! My son is 11 months and since he was born we could only get him to sleep in his swing. By 7 or 8 months he was getting a little big to sleep in his swing. We put him in his crib and ended up getting up with him ALL THE TIME b/c he didnt want to be in there. They suggested that we put him in his crib when he started getting tired (rubbing his eyes etc.) Eventually he started recognizing that when he's tired he goes there. We went through the "self soothing" thing which broke my heart. We would only go in after about 5 minutes of him crying...lay him back down and tell him goodnight and leave again. It was REALLY hard for a few days but since about the third night he goes to sleep without making a peep. We put a music station (sirius) on his TV so he has a little light and soothing music. It's worked really well. He also sleeps with a blanket that he only gets at bed time which soothes him also. Hope it helps!
1 mom found this helpful
S.D. answers from Omaha on January 26, 2007
I had almost the same problem with my son(now is 4 1/2)I use to hold him until he fell a sleep. I tryed to get him to fall asleep by himself but it tore me up with the crying. One night i just had to get it over with. My girlfriends came over here and I finally just put him to bed. With their support i just let him cry himself to sleep ( it took 1 1/2 hrs) but they just keep telling me he is fine and if you go in there then it starts all over. For the nexted few nights the time got shorter to the point it stopped (the crying. Now to this day all i have to do is put him to bed and he goes to sleep. So i know that it will be hard but have someone there to help u through it. It might break ur heart but will be ok. Good luck and remember how much you love her and it will take time.
1 mom found this helpful
C.L. answers from Cedar Rapids on January 26, 2007
We co-slept with our daughter (now 15 months) until she was around your daughter's age. The first thing I did was to bring her crib into our room. (hopefully yours is big enough! :) ) It helped with the transition of eventually moving her downstairs into her own room within a few months or so. She now sleeps in her own bed in her own room through the night. This would probably be most successful if your daughter is already sleeping throught the night. Oh, be sure she is warm in her crib too, because she will be used to the body heat she is getting from you and your husband. I am sure you will be grateful for the extra space in your bed once you get this accomplished! My daughter became a real bed hog as she got older. Good LUCK!
T.A. answers from Des Moines on January 26, 2007
I know that this is hard, My son fell asleep in my arms every night for a year since he was born.
One night, I put him in his crib, and let him cry it out. He cried for about 40 min. the first night. Then it got better each night thereafter!
YOU are the one who has to be strong, I cried right along with him, but I stood firm, and did not go in the room!
I know it is hard, but if you start now, it will be so much easier when she gets older and has her BIG GIRL BED!
Dont feel like you are alone, because your not!
Good Luck!
T.
L.B. answers from Sioux Falls on January 26, 2007
There are ways to get your baby in the crib without having to listen to them cry all the time. Start out slow, baby steps lol. It is going to take a while, but it will be worth it. Start out by rocking her to sleep and putting her in the crib, do this for a week. The first time she wakes up, rock her back to sleep, the second time, let her cry for maybe 5 mins, then rock her to sleep, after that add 5 mins of crying before going in until you reach 15 mins. Then when you get that far, dont pick her up to rock her back to sleep, rub her back while in the crib still, or tummy if she doesnt roll yet. Do this less and less too. Then just sit in the room with her while she is fussing and talk soothingly to her until she calms down, and each night work you way out of the room, until you are standing in the doorway talking to her. I dont know how long this will take you, maybe a month maybe longer, but it does work. Good Luck!
J. answers from Boise on January 26, 2007
L., Hello!
I would refer to Dr. William Sears web page just google Dr. William Sears. It is the first hit and before you enter the web page you will see a list of quick links under the main link that includes "sleep problems". There are ways to do this without the "crying it out". Listen to your own instincts and not the masses.
Good luck!
J.M. answers from Des Moines on January 25, 2007
we didn't co-sleep, but my dau. always liked to be rocked at night, specifically by me. As much as you don't like to hear her cry it out you may have to do that. It really isn't hurting her, that's just the only way she has to really try and get your attention right now.
You might minimize it by having one of those toys that hang on the crib. (we had the aquarium sounds/lights) to occupy her. Get her started playing and they sneak out when she's engrossed. Once you do that a few times she'll get used to soothing herself. She's just used to hearing your sounds/warmth for soothing. It took about 5 days with my dau. and she's been fine since.
S.D. answers from Cheyenne on January 31, 2007
My seventeen month old has never slept in a crib, though we tried many times, and many hours. He just cannot be in any small enclosure. (Too many busted mouths and major bleeding has proven this).
What I have done, is to place twin mattress (air), on the floor, in his room. I now co-sleep with him there. Well, kind of. I sleep on the floor until he needs his 1am feeding. I'm still a nursing mom.
My son still will not sleep unless he is being held, rocked, walked, nursed. Just these past six weeks he has allowed his dad to walk him to sleep. What a nice break. Actually, many times, he'll only play when I try to get him to sleep, yet falls asleep within minutes (not always) when walked by Daddy.
Enjoy the co-sleeping, at least while the little one is less mobile. Now, once she starts to crawl off the bed........
For my oldest (now 4). We co-slept, with the crib butted against my bed. When she wouldn't sleep (wanted to play), I'd put her in her crib. Sometimes she chose to sleep in there, and I held her hand most of those nights. We did this for 1 1/2 yrs, until I got married. First night in new home, we put a queen size mattress in her bedroom (on the floor). There she slept, with no problems.
Best wishes,
S.
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