7 Year Old Wetting the Bed - Lemoore,CA

Updated on November 18, 2014
D.W. asks from Lemoore, CA
21 answers

So my 7 y/o step-son is continuing to wet the bed. My husband has stopped buying the pull-ups for night time wear because HIS SON has said he doesn't want to wear them anymore. We are taking shifts in waking him up throughout the night then he gets up for the day at 630a but is wet for the last TWO mornings that we have tried this. We are exhausted and I don't know what to do if this is normal or not. it may be because he spends every other weekend with his mom, or may be because he can't wake up. I have asked him but he says he can't tell when he has to go at night but is ashamed of it as his brother's at his mom's house tease him. Anxiety, immature body? We also stop any fluids at 7pm and make him use the bathroom before bed at 8pm. Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

Wow I have NEVER been criticized so bad before for doing the wrong thing with parenting. Thank you to those that gave me positive advice but geez people you act as if everyone "knows" what to do in every situation. We've TRIED the waking up thing for two days now ONLY its NOT child abuse as some claim. It was a trial thing because MY SON stressed to us he didn't want to wear the pull-ups. Its not like its been weeks or months and I feel those that have criticized us should apologize. When I posted this I thought I'd get some positive advice on things to do not ripped a new one for doing the wrong thing. I'm sorry we tried something wrong. We will take the advice of buying the pull-ups again, explain to my SS this is normal and talk with the pediatrician. I'm in tears that people have accused us of not caring about our son that I really take more time to raise then his OWN mother has and I was just needing advice. So again thank you all for the advice.

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M.C.

answers from Topeka on

I'm so sorry some people's responses have been less than helpful. My son was bedwetting until the age of six. I was changing the bed two and three times a night despite the fact that my son was wearing pullups. It was exhausting. I finally got a pee alarm that attached to his underpants. It vibrated and alarmed VERY loudly at the first sign of wetness. My son was such a deep sleeper that he just didn't wake up when he needed to pee. When we first got the alarm, we discovered that he was peeing six times a night while sleeping. At first the alarm wouldn't wake him up--we'd have to go in and remind him to go to the toilet, but after awhile, he would wake up on his own when the alarm went off. It took six months, but then my son no longer wet the bed at all.

Another trick I learned was to have my son wear his underwear under the pullups. The pullups stay so dry that kids don't feel wet in them, but the wet underwear is another cue to their brains to wake up and go to the bathroom.

Good luck. I hope this helps.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

put him backin pull up. today...

so entire house will get better sleep. and you will do less laundry.. win win.

My 9 year old daughter may not want to wear pull ups.. but she is wet every night and I don't want to do 7 extra loads of laundry per week..

this is normal... he will be dry when he is ready to be dry.. when his brain is ready to wake him up.. this is not bad behavior..

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

We attempted to wake my daughter up twice night for two weeks. It was miserable for everyone. She peed every single time and still woke up wet. We tried it because SHE hates that she wets the bed and wanted to give up pull ups. She just turned 6. We had an appointment with her pediatrician and it came up. I explained that my daughter was very upset about it and that hubby and I knew she would grow out of it. The pediatrician had a very frank conversation with both of us and told us that no amount of withholding liquids or forced visits to the bathroom would help. For some people it just takes much longer. He told her she would be healthier and happier if she just used the overnights (there are several brands available online intended for older children, we get ours on Amazon.com) and got a good nights rest. It still bugs her that she can't stay dry, but life is MUCH easier now that were aren't trying some insane schedule and she and I are getting a full nights rest. You are running on a hamster wheel, you will never get anywhere, his body just needs to mature.

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

This is beyond ridiculous and absolute insanity. Buy the good nights pants and tell him to wear them. You can't potty train while unconscious! All you're doing is messing up everyone's sleep. And if becomes dry in a week, it's NOT because of waking, it's bc his body finally matured! It's like trying to teach a kid not to have cancer, it can't be done. Give him a pull up, let him sleep, and leave the issue alone. It's not considered a medical problem until age 13..

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

This is cruel and pointless. Everyone needs their sleep. You are creating a terrible problem by interrupting his sleep every 2 hours. And it's not working anyway!

Your son's issue is very common - it's totally developmental and nothing that you can "train" him in. It's called nocturnal enuresis and it is quite common, especially in boys. My son had it for years. We spoke to the pediatrician who reassured us and recommended a consult with a pediatric urologist. We had a nice conversation with him, with our son there, and the MD informed us that he has many patients like this, some as old as 18. He prescribed a medication called DDAVP - 1 pill at night, dry all night.

Our son took this with zero side effects for years - he tried going off around age 10 but the problem returned in a few months. So he went back on the medication until around age 12, and everything was fine. His body had matured and grown to the point where the brain now got the "bladder is full but don't pee yet" signal!

My son was able to go on sleepovers and to overnight camp. If he went to a friend's house, we either told the other parents what the deal was and just sent over a plain pill bottle with the medication name and the "bedwetting" instructions crossed out or peeled off. That way none of his friends saw what the medication was for. If asked, my son just said it was an allergy pill.

Go see the pediatrician now, and have him/her explain to your child that this is not his fault. He can wear the pull-ups until the meds kick in. You will all have your sleep back and this child will have a happier life.

I'm not a "take a pill and it's fine" kind of person - but this was a life-changer for us.

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

You're going about this all wrong.
If his bladder is not ready--it's not ready.
By exhausting yourselves getting him up all night you're just ensuring that NONE of you are getting any sleep. It woo NOT help him be dry at night any sooner.

Buy the kid some GoodNites. Don't shame him, just explain that until he's done physiologically developing for night dryness, this will make it easier in all of you.
Good nights, then later sheet, waterproof pad, sheet, waterproof pad, text to make mornings easier.
Poor kid.
Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My grandpa was a bed wetter until he was 18 and had to have some kind of surgery to correct it. I'm not sure exactly what the problem was, but talking to your pediatrician is probably a good idea.

I was a bedwetter until my teens. My problem was that I sleep too deeply. Honestly, as a 33 year old, I occasionally still have a problem. I eventually trained myself to dream about needing to pee. Most of the time now, if I have to pee I start dreaming about needing to pee and trying to find bathrooms but never being able to find one. Eventually I wake up when I try to pee in a sink or bathtub or washing machine in my dream.

One trick that we've used is putting a waterproof sheet down, then a regular sheet, then a waterproof sheet, then a regular sheet. That way if an accident happens in the middle of the night, you can remove the first wet sheet and rubber sheet and you don't have to totally remake the bed.

I wouldn't keep waking him up all night, that would just make everyone exhausted.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

All you are doing is disrupting everyone's sleep. Please..stop.

This sweet boy will not stop wetting the bed until his body is ready. All three of our kids were easily potty trained during the day. But...wet the bed well into their 11th and 12th year.

Our doctors let us know that this is perfectly normal so we never stressed over it. The doctor said the cards are stacked against our kids. Both my husband and I were late bed wetters, our kids are very tall for their ages and they are deep,deep sleepers.

Please talk to your step son's pediatrician. Get informed. This is soooo normal. Your step son is not being lazy and you can't train him. His body is not releasing the hormone that triggers his body to wake up to urinate.

In our home, our kids wore/wear nighttime pull-ups and wash their own sheets. We let them be responsible for that part of their life. It helps them to keep it confidential and empowers them in the situation since they have absolutely no power over their brain and bladder through the night.

Soooo,just keep up the restriction of liquid after 7pm and have him empty his bladder before bed. Then leave it at that. Let him know he is perfectly normal and that there are many,many kids that are like him.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Please bear in mind that your son's abilities or daytime training have no bearing on your SS's nights. My DD is daytime trained, but still has accidents. She is 6 and we recently saw enough dry pull ups to try underwear. She is also a VERY heavy sleeper and while I was happy to be able to carry her from the car and not worry about waking, it also means she's taking longer for dry nights. The pediatrician confirmed that we should not be overly concerned. Her friend has been dry from the day she was day trained, but sleeps horribly. Every kid is different. When DD is not dry, we simply strip the bed, help her wash up and put all the bedding and pjs in the wash. If it's early in the night, she will wear a pull up for the rest of the night. We don't yell or berate her. We simply show her this is what you do, try again tomorrow.

What I would do is talk to him. If he doesn't want pull ups anymore, understandably, what is his solution? A mat on the bed? Towels? Getting himself cleaned up and cleaning up his bed when he has an accident?

You and his dad may also want to confirm with the pediatrician that there's nothing more going on here than physical maturity taking longer. Please be patient with him. Please do not wake him every few hours and mess up everyone's sleep and potentially cause other problems with a sleep deprived child.

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L.Z.

answers from Seattle on

Stop waking up and just explain to him that his bladder can't hold it all night and that it is completely normal for a ton of kids. Buy the overnights, goodnights or whatever works best for him. He will get there in time. Make sure you discuss with his pediatrician to rule out any sleep issues or anxiety, which can sometimes cause this. Most likely, he's fine and will get there in time. Guaranteed he knows a bunch of friends or classmates going through the same thing. They just don't talk about it.

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

You've received some judgment and some good advice, I hope you can look past the judgment to consider the recommendations.

He's 7, he doesn't get to refuse to wear the pullups. Get him Goodnites, tell him these are for big kids who have trouble staying dry all night, and make him wear them. Stopping fluids is not a bad idea but won't stop bedwetting.

Waking him up is actually counter-productive. You're teaching him to urinate when he's asleep. Yes, he's physically out of bed, but he's not fully awake and his brain hasn't recognized the 'gotta go' impulse - and that's the key to getting up to use the restroom at night.

When HE is ready, and it has to be HIM, consider an alarm. We tried one with my son around 7, didn't work because he wasn't ready. Around 9 he asked to try again, and it worked. Not overnight, took 3-4 months and I had to sleep with him for weeks, but it did work.

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S.H.

answers from Des Moines on

I have been though this with 3 of my 4 kids (thanks to hereditary tenancies on my husbands side). Although this is COMPLETELY normal, you can visit a urologist to rule out anything structurally wrong. We did this with my first around 9 years old, and figured the younger ones were the same...that this is just the way it it. We have tried alarms, waking them up, limiting fluids....all a complete waste of time. If your son truly does not want to wear them, then he should have to do the sheets/wash every morning...I'd bet that would change his tune.

One thing that did work a little for us was an acupuncturist and some herbal meds. But my oldest was 13 at the time and going away for a summer at camp and was desperate to try something. It worked...but it could also have been because of his age too.

Good luck! But stop getting up.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

His body isn't ready yet. Call the pediatrician and they'll tell you. It can take up till 8 years old or longer.

Now there ARE underwear made for this issue - http://bedwettingstore.com/boys-easy-open-briefs.html

google to find more. It's expensive, but could help him feel more confident.

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C.C.

answers from Orlando on

My son is 11 and still wears a pullup at night. He is almost too big for them. It is very common, the brain doesn't get the signal to not make urine at night, or bladder is not fully developed. His ped is aware of what is happening and said medication would be up to me, but he doesn't recommend it.
My son doesn't like to still have to wear a Pullup, but we don't make a big deal about it. I have a pad I put over the fitted sheet, so I don't have to strip the entire bed when he does wet through the pullup. I got it from One Step Ahead catalog online.
We tried limiting fluids, waking him before I went to bed, nothing worked. he is just not ready. One of my nephews was 14 when he finally stopped wetting the bed.
Good Luck!

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E.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Make him wear the pullups at your house until he is consistently dry at night. If he refuses, then he's old enough to change his own sheets in the middle of the night. Or, if your husband refuses, then HE'S the one to wake up several times a night.

My oldest daughter was a late bloomer in terms of staying dry at night. She consistently wet the bed until she was nearly 8, while both of her younger sisters were out of pullups at night by age 3. Different kids develop differently. She was a little embarrassed that she needed pullups and her sisters didn't, but we just explained that when her body was ready to wake her up to pee she wouldn't need them anymore.

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M.T.

answers from Austin on

I'll start with saying I'm sorry you were attacked by some. On a better note. He my have something wrong where signals aren't firing. I would definitely buy the pull ups or there are some for older children I believe called good nites. My nephew wet the bed for a long time and is now in middle school. I believe there are still nights here and there that he wets the bed. My sil tried I believe everything she could think of from no liquids, no coke, scheduled bed time and awake time etc. I would talk with the pedi and see what they suggest. I would let him sleep through because if his body gets used to waking up then his system won't ever really shut down for the night which is what you want it to do. Pedi may be able to prescribe a medicine to help. Good Luck and let him know he's not the only one with this issue.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My friend's son wet the bed every single night until he started puberty at around 13 yo. This could go on for a long time.

G.K.

answers from San Francisco on

I didn't read the rest of the responses. Based on your what happened, it'll probably just piss me off.

Bed wetting is actually not 100% fault of the child. It's partly genetic, and some kids just aren't physically capable of staying dry all night until well past the age society thinks they should be. Put the pull ups back on him and help him understand that it's not necessarily his fault. There should be no shaming involved. It's actually more embarrassing for the child to wet the bed than use the pull ups IMO. He won't wear the pull ups forever!

Sincerely from one who wet the bed til age 10 at a time when there were no pull ups. My mom wishes there had been!

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M.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a friend who's son is 10 and still wears the pull ups night time. He is getting better but when he goes to a sleepover he wears them and brings his own sleeping bag, and she lets the mom of the overnight know.
I know my son, didn't want to be embarrassed at sleepovers so I think that helped but he wet until 6th grade, and then finally it just stopped. There could be so many reasons, make sure you have a night light, or put the TV on at night, they may not tell you they are scared but that could be it, they could just have a small bladder etc. Do not punish, just let him know that he has to try but I think eventually it will pass. Some kids just really sleep hard. As he got older My son said he would dream that he was going to the bathroom and then it was too late he would go. also, as he got older I asked him to put the sheets in the wash etc. and help me put back on, not as a punishment but so he knows we are in this together. It finally just stopped end of 6th.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

What you're doing is wrong, not horrible or abusive or anything else, just wrong.

It's like deciding your 4 month old baby is going to start walking today, you put him on his feet over and over and over and over and over and expect him to be walking before the day is out, after all, IT'S JUST A CHOICE TO WALK ISN'T IT?

So of course the baby can't walk at age 4 months. Why?

Because it's not developmentally correct for him to do so. He may be at a chronological age where YOU and your HUBBY think it's time for him to be dry but it's not.

A chemical is triggered by the brain and it tells the kidney that the body is sleeping and no urine is produced. Then the bladder sits doing nothing all night and the muscles stop any urine from escaping when he's asleep.

It's a biological issue and you're making his life hell.

Please listen to the mom's on here who've told you that the things you're doing aren't the right things. Your son needs you to back off and love him for who he is and what's going on with his body.

He is stressed out about this and that's just going to make it worse.

He needs to sleep all night and wear an overnight pullup.

Unless you enjoy doing load after load of extra laundry and running your gas, electric, wear and tear on the machines, plus extra laundry detergent and fabric softener.

You are running your bills up way more than a pullup every night would. I feel bad for you. If your husband is doing all the extra laundry and wants to deal with the pee pee sheets then I guess that's his choice but I deserve respect and my time has worth and value.

As for your son deciding you get to do more laundry just because he's not going to make a good choice. You're the adult in your household. Be the adult and say "Because I'm the mom" and let him learn to mind you. So what if he doesn't want to wear a pull up. He's the child and doesn't get the choice in some things.

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