7 Year Old's 'Crazy Hair'

I would let her try to continue to control it. Trust me, she won't be the only one looking sloppy at school. My daughter's class of 7 yos is an even mix of those whose moms do their hair in elaborate styles and those that don't, and you can tell those that don't. My 7 yo recently started trying to do it herself, and her hair isn't great, but I let it go. She has really unruly hair too. I took her to the hair dresser and she cut it (we are growing it long) into a style that would be more manageable and took some time with her to show her how to style it. Sometimes it is better received from someone that isn't a parent.

I'm a hairtstylist, so I have experience with this type of hair.

One thing you need to do, is get a really good moisturizer, like Sebastion's potion 9, and use that after you wash your and her hair.

Also, shampoo only every two, maybe three days depending on how oily or dirty her hair gets. If her scalp gets dirty but her hair is fine, you can run a cotton ball of witchhazel through her scalp, careful to avoid too much of her hair. People with wild, curly hair need to wash less b/c their hair has less moisture do to the scalp oil traveling down to moisturize the ends of the hair.

Also, after you and her wash your hair, towel dry it very gently, ring the water out carefully, then gently massage the hair with the towel, almost like milking a cow in an up and down motion.

Use a very wide tooth comb, a pick or your fingers to get out tangles, just be careful not to overcomb, otherwise it will separate the curl pattern and contribute to the messy look. This is the time you can part the hair, a deep side part will look very pretty.

Once you do that, add in your potion 9 or moisturizer and maybe even a mouse or styling cream for curly hair. Using your fingers, work the curls into place and very lightly scrunch just a little.

If you want to blow dry, use the tooth diffuser attachment, place the curl on there and dry while pushing the blow dryer up towards your scalp. But I don't recommend using the dryer until your hair is at least 60% air dry anyways.

After that, your/her hair should have a more uniform curl and less crazy looking. You can use a light serum to add in shine if you want, or leave it alone and use a gentle working spray to hold in place. Just remember, don't overdo the product if you are going to be washing every few days.

I would recommend you cut the hair though, it's true that growing hair long helps to weigh down the curls, but dry and uneven ends will make them worse and less manageable. I would do a light trim every 6 weeks or so, and have some gentle layers added in, not only will it make your curls more beautiful, but it will be easier to style. A good stylist will cut the hair to define the curls, so ask around for someone who is good with curly hair. And NEVER let anyone use a razor on curls.

For your daughter, I would maybe even recommend doing a little braid instead of a ponytail for her, or really help teach her how to do a low ponytail, much easier for girls to do. Also, little girls with wild hair are adorable! I would play it up.

The 'messy' tousled partially curled hair can be really attractive, lots of people try and get this style. If you just do a few simple tweaks, you can get that look too:

http://hair.lovetoknow.com/Wavy_Hair_Styles_Ideas

Is it thin? Since things slide out I'd assume so. My cousin always had trouble keeping clips etc in. Her final solution was to find someone who really knew how to cut it. As in she couldn't go into any random salon. My suggestion is to call around and find someone who knows how to handle curly/difficult hair. They know how to work with cowlicks and are more apt to know how to handle difficult textured hair. They might even be able to help show her what she needs to do to fix it herself. Honestly I wouldn't sweat it too much though.

Updated

Hi R. D.
I have crazyish hair -- different types of curls and waves. I agree with the below good advise. If I had a daughter, I would also try:
-- Paul Mitchell leave in conditioner.
-- a shampoo without sodium lauryl sulfate (which dries)
-- wash every other time with shampoo

All the best, Jilly

Unless it's picture day, or an important event, let her do her own hair, who cares?

My daughter's hair (and mine) is very thick and heavy. We have more curls in the back and our hair is pretty straight in the front. My daughter could never wear hairbands or clips (they slide out), just barrettes that lock closed, and those have to be big enough. Because the back is somewhat curly, it gets fairly tangled, which adds to the problems, fights over brushing, etc. Keep getting her hair trimmed so that it is healthy and less likely to tangle or knot. Have the hair dresser angle it on the sides and layer it a little to lighten it up. This allows the curls to be a little curlier, and kind of gives a more blended overall look. (At least for us). I also always use conditioner when I help wash her hair and sometime use a spray, leave-in conditioner (or at least a mist of water) when I'm trying to brush her hair.

Good luck!

Let your daughter do her own hair. No one is going to think badly of you if her hair is messy. She's 7 years old. She has plenty of time to get obsessed about her hair. I'm sure if you keep up the hair hatred, she'll start to mimic you in no time and hate her hair. Is that what you want?

Relax and don't fuss anymore.

I have a friend with naturally curly hair. She read the book, "Curly Girl", and it told her exactly how to take care of her curly hair. Since reading the book, her hair ALWAYS looks great! FIND THAT BOOK!

Can you braid it? Pig tails on a little girl are precious! Or even a single braid or a Dutch braid will look nice all day.
Maybe an African Butterfly clip can help keep it up and neat.
http://www.tandthairclips.com

let it grow-you could blow dry it and use a round brush or electric curlers-or a straightner-maybe you could take her to a stylist to see what to do and how it is done.

My DD has somewhat crazy hair and if I need it to look nicer, I wash and condition it in the morning and don't brush it. I run my fingers through while the conditoner soaks (we use Dove) and then only finger comb it to get it in pigtails or whatever. If I brush it, she looks like she played with a light socket. My mom said my hair as a little kid was the same way.

You could also try braids. I realize she might object, but my stepdaughter went through a phase where her hair was never combed and looked crazy (and was not curly) and if we had to get a comb through she'd cry from all the snarls. All the products in the world couldn't fully prevent the pain. Finally we had to lay down the rule that after baths she got braids to help tame it overnight. She could have the braids fixed in or taken out in the morning (her choice) but the braids kept her long hair contained while she slept. An old roommate of mine used braids to tame her hair, too. She'd let it dry that way and it kept the curls in check.

Maybe if you give her the choice of what accessories to use, and you do her hair for school and she does it any other time that's not so important (you do it for a wedding or church or something), then she'll get her practice without so much consternation.

If it's any consolation, most little girls go through a nappy head phase. It's just part of being an active, independent kid, I think.

Hope that helps.

I've got that type of hair too...

Wash it less frequently--after a few days she can wear it straighter
Right after washing, use a thick conditioner (Pantene, Tresemme etc.) and comb through with a VERY wide comb-shower comb I think they are called.
After rinsing do not brush it! At all! Try off with a towel being careful to not rub to hard. Leave towel on to soak up some of the water.
I use Infusium 23 for frizzy hair leave in after this and start scrunching the hair to form curls. I generally follow up with Frizz Ease serum--scrunch more and Pantene curling gel if I'm going out. Scrunch alot for big curls. Once it is longer a simple braid when it is wet will give you more curl later.

OK, I admit, I have boys but I would just let her do it and let her be proud of her accomplishment of a sloppy ponytail! One of my guys goes from wanting to comb his hair flat (but always in different directions) or messing it up and saying how much he likes bedhead. One morning, half his hair was standing straight up part was flat and part was a bushy mess. I asked him to look in the mirror and he said "Mom, come look, my hair is awesome!!"
So for now, I let him dictate the condition of his hair - I figure, at least it's clean!
She has the rest of her life to battle her hair, for now, let go of the worry and remember, she won't be the only kid with awkward hair at school!!

Hmmm, I'm not good at doing hair either. I would say to take her to a salon or go to a salon and ask for a product that might cut down on the frizz and make it lay better and then don't stress so much about it. I'm sure she's adorable.

I have similar hair.I didn't really realize I could wear it curly until I discovered Aphogee Hair Therapy. It's a clear silicone based hair gel that I get at Sally's beauty supply store, it only takes a few drops. It takes very little but makes my hair much smoother and allows the hair to curl without frizz.

When K gets up in the morning her hair is straight but tangled and can be quite "scary hair". I make her sit in a little tykes chair and I spray it down with the hair detangler from Walmart. I use the brushes that have hard spine like bristles not a natural style brush. I brush sometimes for 5 minutes just getting the tangles out and then I do doggy ears or a pony tail. If it's wet enough I'll do a French braid.

If you spray the hair barrette with hair spray, get it wet, then put it in her hair and spray the hair with hair spray the barrette won't come put until the hair is washed almost.

There are also some hair barrettes out there that have rubber on the back part and the rubber keeps the barrette from coming loose if you get enough hair in them.

I use those plasty bands from Walmart, they come in a container that has several different colors, each in a snap tight part of the strip, like a daily pill box. When she wears her hair down with a little bit pulled together on the side to keep it out of her face I put the side pony tails in the plasty bands then put a barrette above them where then plasty band doesn't show but holds the barrette in place.

Another hair style I do is where I brush her hair back from her face, straight back.Then I section off the front into about 5 small pony tails. The sections only go back to where a head band would fit across the top of her head. But she has a tiny little section on top, one on each side by her temple then one just above her ears on the side. They lay flat not pouffy. It keeps her hair neat and tidy and out of her face all day. The rest can be worn down or you can continue the pulling sections of hair into more and more bands so it is flat all over and looks like a very pretty ornate hair style.

If you look at this picture in a general kind of way you can kind of see what I am talking about. I keep the back free most of the time but if we are going swimming I continue parting off the hair and taking hair from a couple different sections and putting that little pony tail in a different color plasty band. Then all the way down to the nape of her neck. I usually let the rest go free for swimming. But again, on a normal school day i would usually only do one row across the top of her head where a headband would sit in about 5 little pony tails to keep it out of her face.

http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip311.htm

In this link about 3/4 of the way down there is a picture of a blonde woman just about a butterfly hair barrette picture. She has the look of what I am talking about but with the pony tails much closer to the face.

http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip167.htm