Ok -I am really about to loose it with my 7 year old son. He is constantly talking back to me, telling me how I am nice to everyone but him- and just bacially being a very mouthy fresh little boy. I seriously don't know WHO he thinks he is. Now my 3 year old is starting to act just like him. I have NO control over them- they run around yelling, fighting, rolling on top of each other screaming "Mooommmmmyyyyy"!!!!! I spend all my time with my boys- and yes they are pretty spoiled- but aside from ripping everything out of his room- what do I do? Now at night he's been sleeping in my room on the floor- because he said he's scared. But won't tell me of what. Its not just me he is fresh to though- he talks rude to his daddy too.
Right now he has a friend over and I got them take out, put on movies, got them ice cream and he comes out of him room whining to me that he's bored!!! I said go play with your friend, he's your company!! His responce was "your always nice to company!!!!"
Then today when I picked him up from school I said something to him about a flyer on the wall in the school and he said to me (in front of the principal) "I care because...?" I have NO idea where he got that responce from. Please Moms-Dads what am I doing wrong??? I need to straighten this kid out!!!
Spank him, dont let him have company, especially-no movies and ice cream. Stop spoiling him and mabeye hell straighten out.
Take care and good luck,
K.
Wow! First of all, let me just say that you sound like a great mom and I know you love your children. This does sound like a stage your son is going through, but you still need to address it. You and your husband need to put your heads together, get a plan, and stick to it. Spoiling children really does not benefit the child. When we "spoil" our children, we are doing it to make ourselves feel good. It's like saying, "look at all the great things I can give my children". But what they really need is love, discipline and consistency. It sounds like your son is testing the boundaries and trying to see how far he can go. He is acting out for a reason and he has learned how to make you feel guilty. It doesn't sound like he earned this fabulous slumber party you gave for him and his friend. That may be part of the problem. Also, keep in mind that you are modeling what works in your parenting for your 3-year-old. Like you said, he is already acting like his brother. Get some books or research online how you can best handle this behavior. Good luck and hang in there. Remember, deal with it now before he is 13 years old and getting violent with you. Take care.
I have 4 boys and my six year old is behaving very similarly. I was just recently told to get the book 1-2-3 Magic. I only got it a few days ago and have only read a few pages but about 4 people recommened it to me and so I will pass it on to you. I can't yet tell you much about the book but I can't wait to get more into reading it. Google it, it will come up and you can order it online.
If you don't do that, I would suggest if he throws tantrums to just send him to his room or a corner or someplace out of the way and let him throw his fit, DO NOT talk to him, do not respond to him. It may last a while but after time, he will realize he isn't bothering you and stop. I swear they do it to get under your skin. They are looking for attention whether positive or negative, they just want to know that you know they are there, they are home from school, they are letting out all of their frustrations from the entire day, like, "HEY MOM, I'M HOME, HEAR ME ROOOAAAR!!" When he gets home give him a hug an snack ask about his day and if he still misbehaves ask yourself, "is he hurting himself or someone else?" and if the answer is no then let him go. He will eventually see that he isn't getting your attention behaving the way he is! Good lUck and check out that book!!
I too have a 7 year old (daughter) who's been really disrespectful lately. After arriving at her Gram's on Saturday, she kept talking back when I asked her to get ready - she felt like because she was at her Gram's she could get away with talking to me like that. Well, I fixed that quick. Consistency is key with whatever discplinary action you choose. I'm not against spanking, although for me, it's a last resort. I don't take my children's nonsense either - I have 3, ages 7, 4 and 15 months. They need to know you are the adult and there are expectations. Make SURE your husband is on board with you so that whenever something happens, you are on the same page with the consequences. First, the 3 of you need to have a sit down - your son needs to know that your husband and you are together on this..on finding out if there's something going on that's causing him to act out or if he justs needs some reassurances of his boundaries. From there, you need to explain that this behavior of his will not be tolerated any longer - from here on out till you see a change in attitude, when he gets smart something that he loves will be taken away until there's improvements. If that means he has nothing but his clothes and his bed left in his room, so be it. And STICK with it - remember to be consistent! It will take time, I know, my daughter still has her moments where she's testing her boundaries (ie.Saturday) but I don't let it get me down. She snapped out of it quick when a friend called to have her over and I said no because of the behavior earlier. She got the message then! She didn't like it, got mad at me, but I told her that I loved her and I didn't like taking things away but she can't talk to me that way. It took her awhile but she came to me and apologized and we spent the day playing games and coloring. I hope this helps, I know I am babbling on, but I feel for you!
M.
Honestly, he is waiting for you to lose it. Dont give in to him anymore. It is ok to reward, but not to bribe. You arent doing anything wrong, your just not being firm. Tomarrow, sit him down after school, and tell him that you have been very dissapionted in his behavior lately, and you and his daddies feeling are very hurt. Ask him what is going on, and why he feels like you are only nice sometimes or only nice to company. Then, ask him why he is only nice sometimes...turn it around to make a point, but not to denounce him. Let him know that you love him, and until he can respect you, he is not aloud to have any friends over. He will not talk back or there will be consequences. He needs to be doing light chores too...Like getting trash together, folding towels, and seperating laundry, little things that help. He is going through alot of changes in school.
you aren't doing anything wrong my mom has the same problem with my sister( who is 8) My best option would me when he does it punish him immediatly. put him on time out even when he has company no tv no toys just him and the time out chair. then when he is done talk to him ask him if he knows why he was punished and why its wrong. If that doesn't work i would always play the cause i am a grown-up and i am in charge card.
Make sure he knows you are in charge and you deserve respect
It is his age. There is a lot going on in his brain right now and he is having a hard time dealing with it. A bunch of my frinds have kids that are 7 and are going thru the SAME things. One of them got a book about what goes on in 7 yo kids and the book was saying the SAME things you are saying. Might want to see if your local library has it. I can not remember the name but maybe do a search on 7 year olds and see what comes up. I know the auther has one for each age. Just know that this to shall pass. Not saying you should let it all go. I know the book has some tips on dealing with it. I do not agree with spanking though.
I went through the same thing with me son who is almost 7. He and I were always oil and water. He was a difficult infant and it has not changed. Well I noticed a BIG part of his attitude WAS becasue or ME. I ALREADY had it in my head that he was a pain or difficult or a trouble maker. And I treated him that way...even when he was being good. I think he just figured that was how he had to be because that is what I expected him to be. I WAS nicer to other kids than I was to him. Maybe it is the same thing with your son.
Take some time and sit down with him. Ask him what he means by the comments he makes. Ask him what he needs from you so he does not feel that way.
You can also take away all of his special things and make him EARN them back. But the bottome line is......BE CONSISTANT. If telling you to "shut up" one day gets him sent to his room, then it needs to get him sent to his room EVERYDAY!!
Good luck!
D.
