7 Year Old Son "Drumming" at School, Needs to Keep Moving. Any Advice

Updated on December 01, 2011
J.W. asks from Billings, MT
12 answers

My bright 7 year old son is doing well in school, although he is easily distracted and has a hard time focusing on his work. Nothing outside of the norms of a 7 year old boy. He does not have ADHD! He likes to have his hand moving, and is constantly "drumming" on the desk. He acutally is very good at drumming and will probably get a drumset for his birthday. I need advice on what he can do with his hands at school so he isn't distracting the other kids. Do you make some sort of device that a kid can tap on that is quiet? His teacher did give him a gel filled mat to play with while listening, but is broke. Any advice?

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would suggest a small ball to squeeze or a small stone to play with inside his pocket, a large paperclip, anything that would give him the sensory satisfaction without noise.
Movement helps some kids and adults to concentrate better.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I agree purchase him another mat to replace the one that broke.

2 moms found this helpful

C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

ALL my friends that are drummers do this. They must be wired for constant hand movements. :)

Try to get another mat for him.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Kinetic learner, huh? :) Replacing the gel pad may be more straightforward, and here's another idea...My sis has three kinetic learners which she homeschools. A few years ago I gave them some modeling beeswax to play with when she reads to them.

Modeling wax can be found at your local Waldorf supply store or here's what it looks like:
http://www.amazon.com/Stockmar-Modeling-Beeswax-Assorted-...

The wax is great-- as a child plays with it, it warms up and softens.
This is also a good one to have on hand for car trips.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

You are describing my oldest son...turning 12 next week. My son did this exact same thing?? Teachers told us about drumming on the desks...on his knees and the bass drum always tapping with his foot. We weren't surprised to hear this because he did it at home too. He would also lay out pots and pans and pound away while listening to music. It was amazing to hear U2 and GOO GOO DOLLS songs being played on my kitchen pots.

We got our boy in drum lessons at age 8,which is very young, and it really helped get some of that creative energy out. We also talked to him about how distracting the tapping is to teachers and fellow classmates and that helped stop it. I think the lessons and talking to him was enough for our son. We didn't need to pursue other kinetic distractions for him like a stress ball or anything else...but that is a great idea. You are getting great ideas!!

In kindergarten our son's teacher brought up ADD,ADHD to us and we chose not to test him. We felt our son just had a lot of creativity trapped in an immature body that got stifled by the rigid atmosphere in the classroom. We are soooo grateful we went this route. He does very well in school..just needed some creative outlets. He is now playing 2 instruments, a very gifted and talented drummer, sings in 2 choirs and is in the school play. He is an entertainer at heart...it is his passion. Always wanting to sing,dance and talk and move. It is very hard to sit in a classroom with this passion and temperament. But they can do it. These kinds of kids need to be understood...not labeled with disorders or thought to be disruptive and disobedient.

Our son has had a few teachers that have allowed him to read the books to the class during story time. He is an animated reader so it helped get his energy and creative juices flowing in the classroom and it was a plus for the teacher because she got a 20-30 minute breather while my son was occupying the class. Teachers have allowed him to do a stand up comedy bit also which gets the class roaring and allows my son to share a talent.

I know you asked about how to keep your boy's hands busy in class. I just wanted to give a little insight as a mom with a similar situation and show you how we maneuvered our son through school. Wanted to give you some insight of a similar boy now a few years ahead of yours and tell you...it is gonna be ok!! We worried how our boy would do in school with all this energy and passion. He is doing tremendously!!

You are a great mama!! You are looking for ways to help your busy boy's hands...instead of yelling at him and thinking he is disobedient.

As for drum lessons. Be prepared if you look around and teachers say they don't take students til age 10. We hit that roadblock at age 8 when our son was begging for lessons. But we persisted and the teacher said "Bring him and and I will take a look." He was blown away and took him on. Our son has got a great gift for rhythm and an ear for music. He has had 2 instructors over the years that are very adamant about his giftedness for music. We don't care about that...we just want him to find his niche and be happy.

Good luck and best wishes!!

1 mom found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the squeeze ball, or silly putty, and the gel mat for at school.

Just a suggestion for the drumset--for your own sanity, you might want to consider an electric drumpad with HEADPHONES! :)

My BIL's little bro is also a drummer, but if not for his electric set, his family would have gone bonkers 10 years ago :) He also has a real drum set now that he's older, as he is more respectful of his family members' needs and doesn't do it when they need quiet.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

When I was a teacher, pencil tapping drove me insane. It really got to me. I taught middle school, so I think the gel mat would have been a distraction to kids, but I think it's fabulous that his teacher seems to be working with him. Was the pad for him to "play" with or tap on? A mouse pad will also mute the sound a bit. You'll still hear it, but it's not quite as obnoxious. You can also try straws if the teacher will allow it (and he can refrain from blowing things with them). I hate the tapping, but I know some kids "need" it and really can't help it. When the tapping started, I simply took the pencil and replaced it with a straw. They can tap away, and it doesn't make much noise, if any at all.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Did the mat work? Get another one! Sounds like he is a kinetic learner. Google that and see what it suggests!

Hope he has good rhythm for playing the drums! Could be a budding rock star!

Dawn

1 mom found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Get another gel mat. I'm glad no one is trying to say he has ADHD.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.S.

answers from Kansas City on

How about a small fidget? My almost-4 year old son is a sensory seeker and his OT person suggested something like this for him to try. We've started with a squeeze ball during story time at home and it seems to have helped. His preschool teacher also has something for all of the boys in class (the class is all boys, poor mrs. miller!) to hold or play with to keep them settled down.

We are getting this for xmas, highly recommended/reviewed:
http://www.amazon.com/Tangle-Light-Magic-Yellowith-Blue/d...

I saw that Amazon sells a lot of small fidgets for kids that need to do something with their hands in order to focus attention on something else. Some are just the size of a few coins or things that fit in a pocket so that could be nice for your son without being a big distraction to the class.

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J.P.

answers from Denver on

He sounds like a kinesthetic learner (learns better when moving). Try something he can play with in his hands like a paper clip or one of those stress balls. At home I have my active 7 year old sit on an exercise ball so he can bounce while he works. And I like the silly putty idea.
Good luck,
J.

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G.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter is also a constant motion child (also not ADHD - just active and energetic, something that classroom environments don't always accommodate). I gave her a worry bead bracelet, which helped a lot and is relatively subtle and quiet. Also, her teacher made an agreement with her to let her chew gum in class during times when she has to manage to sit still for extended periods, as long as the gum stays in her mouth, is not chewed loudly, and is disposed of properly. Believe it or not, this worked wonders.

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