7 Year Old Dental Issues and Severe Anxiety

Updated on July 17, 2008
C.C. asks from Suwanee, GA
13 answers

My 7 year old daughter has always been very afraid of the dentist (and the doctor for that matter). She is okay with getting her teeth cleaned and getting x-rays, but if you mention cavity she knows she'll have to get numb with a shot to get the filling. She just gets so upset and nervous. She already has a crown on a tooth that she got when she was 6 due to several cavities in one area and they had to give her a sedative to relax her enough to do the work. It was a nightmare! And also very costly, dental insurance doesn't cover much beyond routine checkups and fillings.
So here we are again having to get her another crown and pulp on a baby back tooth that she won't lose until she's 11 or 12, the cavity is deep and went to the nerve and they will also be putting sealants on all her permanent back teeth to protect from future decay. I wondered if anyone else has had such problems with there children's teeth. We make sure and brush with the crest spin brush, do a rinse to prevent cavities and plaque and still she gets cavities so easily. And now have started flossing every day. The dentist said some children are more prone to tooth dacay than others or have "soft teeth". My son, on the other hand ,has great teeth with no problems. I try not to let her have too many sweets, juice or soda.
We are waiting to hear back from our insurance to see what the cost is going to be so we can get this over with - UGHHHH! Any advice or words of wisdom would be great!

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone who took time to tell me your stories and ordeals with dental issues. I feel a little better about what Lindsey (my daughter) is going to have to endure in a few weeks. We still don't know what the dental plan will cover, it's in the works. We are taking my daughter to a Pediactric Dentist and when we went in for the consultation she seemed relaxed (as much as she can be) and we feel sure she will get the best treatment possible. Someone who replied to my request mentioned getting a sedative to give her before she comes in, great idea, we are planning on doing that and hopefully all will go smoothly. God Bless! C.

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C.C.

answers from Spartanburg on

Had the same problem. A pediatric dentist helped a lot and knew how to keep her calm. We go to Kool Smiles in Anderson

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M.J.

answers from Charleston on

Hi C.,
We used a children's dentist that does not use shots. If the problem is severe then they sedate in a very gentle way. I am not in your area but you could call around to different ones. Find a dentist that understands her fears. Keep away from those that do not allow you to go in the room when your child is being worked on. There is NO reason you cannot be present while her work is done!! This is an issue you want to try to correct for her. Finding a more gentle dentist w/o the shots could do the trick. Good luck to you guys!

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D.S.

answers from Columbia on

C.,

My oldest daughter use to have the same issues with the dentist. Anytime we had to do extensive dental work the dentist would give me a sedative to give her 20 minutes before we left home. I literally had to carry her in and they took her straight back. This helped some with cost because the insurance would pay for the medicine through a prescription verses the charge from the dental office.

Do you have well water?

Once my daughters permanent teeth started coming in I had them all sealed. She is 23 now and has never had cavities in those permanet teeth. Maybe your daughter will be like mine and have much stronger permanent teeth.

Good luck.

D.

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K.H.

answers from Columbus on

My 7 year old has absolutely no fear of the dentist, and I have to say its because he is GREAT! She had a soft spot on a tooth and it was treated as a cavity so it would not turn into one...I was nervous because I too had bad memories of the dentist as a child. They asked me to wait in the lobby because parents can sometimes trasfer their own fears onto the child and they gave her laughing gas as a sedative...she doesn't even remember any of it and she came out with the biggest grin on her face and a new princess toothbrush. My insurance which is United Concordia through the military covered it all. She sees Dr. Gerald Adams, he has been a family friend for 50+ years now and his son also works in the same office Dr. Matt Adams. Anyway I would just suggeest trying to find a dentist that understands your daughters fears and takes that into consideration while treating her. Good luck!

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N.H.

answers from Atlanta on

This is a very hard situation, no doubt about it. I used to take my kids to the pediatric dentist. That helped a lot. However, once they got older (and we moved from that area) we all started seeing the same dentist. My daughter pitched a fit about getting a shot the first time there, but she has since decided that it only lasts a couple of seconds and the pain is much more minimal than getting drilled without the shot. My kids have pretty healthy teeth, though. My neighbor's kid, however, has horrible teeth. This is one of those genetics things that you sometimes have no control over. No matter whant they do, he still always has to have a lot of dental work. (I've never seen a mouth so full of silver fillings before!) I think she still takes him to a pediatric dentist and she actually pays an additional charge for them to "papoose" him. They wrap him up so he can't flail and then get on with what has to be done. It's better for them (and quicker) and therefore makes it better for him.
Good luck! (I hope she will grow out of her fears soon for all your sakes!)

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K.T.

answers from New London on

Hi C.! I'm sorry this is so long, but your issue speaks straight to my heart and I want to share everything I know with you to help your daughter. I have always been the same way as she is, because I have had a rather "traumatic" dental history, starting with an obnoxious dentist pulling all 8 of my front teeth at once (when I was SIX) because "they weren't making room for [my] permanent teeth". I then knocked out my two front teeth only WEEKS after they came in (when I was 8) with a bicycle accident, resulting in two root canals. I also had to have braces at 11, but they took my wisdom teeth first to make room to move my teeth around.

Therefore, I also have a STRONG association between dentistry and pain. Things that help me as an adult is to remember that it's only an hour or so (for the longest of proceedures), give your daughter pain medication BEFORE she goes in, and see if your dentist offers nitrous oxide (laughing gas). NO helps a whole lot with anxiety by putting you in "la-la land" - when I got my wisdom teeth pulled (at 11 years old), they gave me NO before they gave me IV fluids (I guess...), and all I remember thinking was Hey look, a needle...ooh I feel it going in..... I felt absolutely no pain associated with it, rather, I felt I was a detached watcher and it was SO cool. :D

I don't know your personal anxiety level about the dentist (or how well you are emotionally able to sit by your daughter's side while she's upset/hurting - my mom can't, lol), but I also TO THIS DAY allow myself to cry whenever I feel like it while I'm in the chair, and then take deep breaths. I don't know if your daughter tries to be a "big girl", but tell her it's okay to let the tears fall (but not "big baby bawling") and wipe them away before they get to her ears. :) Oh, the last thing my mom helped me with is that I was allowed to squeeze her hand (or my stepdad's, or a nurse's) as hard as I could when it hurt (such as Novicaine needle insertion). Thinking about squeezing through my hands helped take my mind off the pain, and also kind of helps pass the pain through the body - knowing that you are trying to hurt another person (not in a twisted/bad/evil way) helps make it feel like the pain is just going through you, if that makes any sense.

The last thing I have to share comes from my experience with several different professionals, as I moved around a lot and had an orthodontist on the side. :) When I had my braces, some techs would stop what they were doing and take a break when I hurt (because I asked them to), but the only tech I really remember was the one who told me no. LOL - she was the best! She would verbalize to me that she knew it hurt, but only a few more seconds and then it would be done, and the more we just kept going, the sooner ALL the pain would be over. In college, I had a dentist who also didn't stop what he was doing when he hurt me, but he also didn't talk about ANYthing he did. THAT is frightening and more painful. Look for a dental tech AND dentist who will gently keep plugging, but who will also cheerlead your daughter through each step of the procedures. Ask her if she wants to know what they're doing, and hopefully your dentist will know the right things to say. Bad: Here comes the Novocaine needle, we're putting it into your gums, it'll hurt for a minute. Good: We're going to get you fixed up with some numbing agent/pain medication, you'll feel a prick and then we'll be done. If your daughter doesn't want to know, he could even try to talk to her about his dog, or horse, or daughter her age, etc. and just sneak it in before she even knows what's going on - but make sure she's got your hand close for squeezing! Make it a trial-and-error for how much info she wants to know, and keep the doc informed of her anxiety level - remind him before EVERY appointment, but try to do it outside the room, or stick a sticky on her chart or something. That way, if someday she outgrows it and you don't realize it, your mentioning it isn't going to cause it again. Lastly, try to use each good appointment as a reminder for why it's okay, and it's getting better when she goes in. Heaven knows, all I ever remember is my strong assocation of pain and anxiety, and sometimes I can't really pinpoint why. So I purposely pull out memories of routine checkups that didn't hurt to help me force myself to schedule them (the joys of being an adult!).

Anyway, I hope I've given you some new ideas on how to help your daughter immediately before and during appointments, since it sounds like you're already doing all you can to avoid them in the first place. :) I wish you and your daughter all the best of luck, and give her a hug for me!

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D.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I also was terrified of the needle at the dentist. I lived with this fear for decades and just recently had to have a root canal/crown. Before going to the dentist this time, I used a technique called "tapping" and it eliminated by anxiety. If I hadn't just gone through this I would have never believed it could work. Your daughter is old enough to do this, it doesn't cost anything, and she is in charge.

www.emofree.com will give you all the information and instructions.

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A.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I have terrible teeth issues; the only reason my dentist says I've gone a little while without a cavity is because almost every surface is already filled! My front teeth are pretty much OK but every other tooth in the has had some kind of work over the years. I too was an avid brusher but sometimes it doesn't really matter. One dentist told me it's not just that you don't have strong enamel on your teeth but also that some people have a lower-level of bacteria in their saliva which helps to breakdown the sugar faster. So I was told to floss with floride coated dental floss at least once a day, not to sip on sodas (hard one for me since i'm not a gulper), and if I can't floss or brush after a meal to chew sugar-free gum. It helps your mouth produce more saliva to clean out the sugars before they start working on your teeth.

As far as the anxiety goes, I don't have any other advice except to find a good pediatric dentist. If you find one that is in your dental ins. network, they usually have the same negotiated rate as a regular dentist so you might as well go to one. I also recommend speaking with the dentist BEFORE she gets there so they are ready to handle her anxiety. I'm sure they can give you some tips as well on what to tell her and how to explain everything to her. The thing to remind her as well is that after they give her the shot (which they should numb with a topical prior to sticking her with the needle), is that it takes a few minutes for the numbness to set in and she should make sure to let the dentist know if it's not numb by the time he's ready to start. My anxiety started during a root canal when the dentist didn't numb me properly and I could feel everything. I had tons of work done before this and never had dental anxiety, but now, even for just a cleaning, I have some anxiety of them hitting a nerve.

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

Well, there's not much you can do and your dentist is telling the truth about being more prone. My sister has always cleaned her teeth in fact she's almost brushed her teeth too much. She's had more cavities then me and more crown's. I in fact have brushed my teeth less and have less problems and no crown's a root canal on my front teeth from an accident. My sister has complained to her dentist and he told her they they have proved that some people are just prone to cavities. It sounds like you are doing your best and I want to say this you can go without any candy,juice or soda and still have cavities. Mt children's dentist suggest to us candy is fine but get something that melts like chocolate it leaves less residue on your teeth. I hope it gets better for her and I can say this my kids go to a ped dentist and they are better about it now since it's all geared to kids, maybe that would help her even if it is a cavity she'd have to get filled.

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C.S.

answers from Atlanta on

I'm so sorry that you are having to watch your daughter deal with that anxiety. It is so hard to have to do things for their health that they just hate. We had the same issue with my daughter but she was only 3! She has (had) very deep pits in her back molars so no matter how much we brushed and flossed there was nothing we could do. We got opinions from 2 different dentists and then did all 4 of the molars with cavities and had sealants put on. It was tough. She was really too young to even understand that we had to do it and she had the same problem with the numbness. Our dentist said some kids just really react badly to that weird feeling.
I would say just make sure she knows how much you love her and sympathize with her. I would be careful to make sure that you don't feed the anxiety. I know I try hard to make sure that I don't let her see that I am anxious about her procedure. I talk about it matter-of-factly and calmly. Maybe do some visualization of what's going to go on and do some deep breathing exercises. Make sure to let the dentist know again that your daughter has anxiety and make sure she/he is doing all they can to medicate her appropriately.
We have a wonderful dentist that makes sure to do all she can to make sure the kids are as relaxed as they can be but without resorting to full on hospital sedation.
Good luck and we'll send you some good vibes! Let us know how it turns out.

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S.G.

answers from Savannah on

I can totally relate to your daughter's fear of the dentist!! I had a horrible dentist as a child which is what put the hate in me!! He pulled my 4 baby bottom front teeth (no clue why) and didn't wait long enough for the numbness!! Well needless to say only one tooth didn't hurt cause it was already loose and he got kicked in the balls during the other 3 and my mom could hear me screaming in the room but they wouldn't let her come in there!! Now as an adult it has taken me years to go on a regular basis just for cleanings!! So my advice here is make sure your child is comfortable with the entire office, from the staff to the dentist him/herself and you need to be allowed to go back there with her for everything!!!

I too have soft teeth. Runs in the family and I was told once from a DR that it was because ostioparosis (bad spelling, weak bones) is very heavy in the females on my mom's side of the family. I'm 33 and are missing 3 very back molars and 1 a few more towards the front. Could have been saved by a root canal but I either didn't have insurance to help pay or didn't want to deal with that much pain!! Anyways, if you don't know, check your family history for that since that is a sign of soft or weak teeth. My daughter has only had 1 surface cavity so far (knocking on wood-but then my teeth problems didn't start till adulthood) but she does have floricis (spelling ?) from consuming too much floride when she was little. Don't know if it came from tap water or formula, but her front teeth are permentaly stained and look like she never brushes them or drinks tons of coffee!! The only fix for that is porclin crowns way later in life!!

So check your family history with teeth and bones. Talk to her Ped about calcium supplements possibly helping her if she isn't getting enough now. As far as her teeth, just keep doing what you are doing, brushing, flossing and the colored mouth wash. I will say if you are using Listin pink mouthwash, it doesn't staing the missed spots dark enough to see them. I got it for my daughter and she would show me her teeth and I couldn't see anything nowing dang well she had missed something!! So the next morning I did it before I brushed and I couldn't see a tinted spot to save my life!! And my mouth felt pretty grungy too!!

Good luck and I hope you can find a good solution to all this!!

S.

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J.J.

answers from Augusta on

Hi C., my five year old just got news of the tiniest sign of cavities! I'm hoping that we can do enough to keep them under control! Aside from the things you already are doing, I put the kids back on flouride water (nursery water). It was a big deal for them to have enough of it when they were little so I don't see it hurting for them to continue drinking it. They will drink it plain or put propel packets in it for flavor. You have to remember that brushing twice a day is good but if you eat something sweet during the day and don't brush until the end of the day, all that stuff will have time to settle in/on the teeth. I've tried to remember to make them brush after eating anything sweet if possible. Good Luck!

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B.

answers from Augusta on

I am wondering what dentist you see, my kids see Dr Lee Baker and he takes the approch of if its not broke we dont mess with it. My son had his front tooth knocked loose almost to the point of out , we took him to one dentist that was talking root canals and spacers etc for a 2 yr old's baby tooth, we took him to see dr baker , Dr baker said lets watch it , it may fall out it may not , but if its still in there in 2 weeks then it will prob stay in. It did end up staying in. His staff is great They are great with both of my kids even after my son was strapped to a back board at the other dentist to take his xrays, they were awful at that office. I dont know how they do cavities etc there my kids havent had any yet ( knock on wood) . and I would cut out all sweets and soda. Dr Baker has told us to limit in between meal drinks to water / suger free cool aid, crystal light , that kind of thing. no juice, tea or milk between meals. no candy, no soda, if they DO get candy its very little and they have to brush their teeth after. My kids also use adult tooth paste, the Crest night time stuff. And he is right some people have bad teeth some don't I do, so I am a sugar nazi.

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