7 Year Old and Fights at School

I can't provide many answers here, because I'm not sure of the whole scenario. However, this is typical behavior of a second child, not the oldest. Yes, no question he's going through that state right now.

Without knowing any other information, I would role play certain situations that come up at school and how he should react to each one. Sit down and talk with him about this. Ask him what makes him angry and how he could handle each situation.

I don't have suggestions about the fighting, but I think karate is probably good. It teaches self respect and discipline and the right teacher certainly doesn't encourage fighting. I know my daughters Sensei, strictly prohibits fighting except for self defense. Good luck to you.

C., I'd get ahold of the school psychologist. They usually can help with things like this, and will respect you even more for your concern and for you, the parent of the fighting child, asking for assistance. They are usually trained in this area. There could also be an underlying cause which he won't open up with you about. Kids tend to do that. Good luck. Karate is a great idea either way. It teaches self control, respect and gives a sense of accomplishment.

Speak to the person teaching his karate class. In general, martial arts is for self defense - not offense. His sensai (instructor) will probably be willing to explain this to your son. In fact, the instructor may even spend extra time with your son reinforcing correct behavior. Self discipline is the foundation of the sport.

I would speak to his karate instructor. Karate schools are usually very strict about teaching the students not to use karate skills on other people to be a bully. My son's karate school will actually kick them out of the program if that happens. The school can reinforce this with your son to make sure he isn't doing that. Also speak to your son about his reasons for this fighting. There may be other issues that need dealing with.

Does he respect his karate teacher? If he does, have the instructor talk to him. Any karate school I have had experience with teaches that karate is self defense and to only use it when absolutely necessary. If he really likes karate then pulling him out temporarily as a consequence to his continued fighting is probably a good thing too.

You should talk to his instructor about this. Most are completely against them using what the learned or fighting at school. They can offer most of the time healthy ways to vent if they are having problems. Does he have a bully? is he trying to defend himself?

Don't pull him out of Karate immediately. Give it some time and see if you can find out the cause of the fighting at school. Talk to your son and ask him why he is fighting in school. Ask him if it is because of what he is learning in Karate or if he is being bullied or if he is being teased or if he doesn't know how to react in certain situations, etc. When you determine why he is fighting in school, if it is because of Karate, ask his instructor if he can teach a lesson in Karate class about when it is appropriate to use these skills and techniques and when it is not appropriate and how it can hurt others. If it is a good instructor they should have already had a talk with the kids about this, but if they haven't talked about it, it is time for them to start. If your child is angry about somthing at school and his reaction is to fight, give him some consequences for fighting but I still do not think taking him out of his after school activity should be the punishment. Maybe taking away video game time or tv time would be more appropriate. Or if the school can accomodate, maybe he should have his recess taken away and have to spend time inside by himself. At my daughters school they have a "study center" and a behavior coach's classroom they send the kids to when they get their recess taken away. The behavior coach is basically like going to detention. If your son likes recess as most kids do, maybe taking it away from him when he acts out would work for him. Talk to his teacher to find out what is going on and what they can do about it.

Hopefully your son hasn't been suspended yet, but if the fighting continues, that's what will happen. You're definitely going to have to make him face consequences for his actions. Maybe taking him out of karate as a punishment would be something to consider? If the karate is making this worse, not better, you might even consider discussing it with his karate teacher. Karate is more of a discipline-based teaching - meaning he's taught to control himself and NOT fight unless absolutely necessary.
Also, have you asked him why he's fighting? Is he being bullied or provoked? Talk to him - ask him directly why he's doing these things. He's old enough to express his feelings and what's going on.

Well this could be from not realizing he is not supposed to use these skills this way depending on his teacher. My sisters were both in martial arts for about 10 year (when they were really little through teenage years) And they have had a couple different teachers for different reasons that did not benefit them. Some times there are teachers out there that teach the wrong way and make people more aggressive towards fighting versus how to avoid fighting and only using what you know when your life depends on it. Otherwise they could really hurt someone. They are now in Tae Kwon Do and have a great instructor. Do you go to the classes and watch what the teacher teaches him and how. Otherwise your son might have something else going on at school. What is the reason he is getting in fights. Maybe people are teasing him or there is something else going on there. Hope you figure it out.