7 Week Old in Contact with a Cold Sore

I have suffered from cold sores all of life and I am very sorry that you have to deal with this. The really sad thing is that your daughter has all ready been exposed to the sores so someday she will most likely start breaking out herself. That is how I contracted them and how my children also got them was from my mom kissing us. Do not allow her to kiss the clothing or anything like that. You have to take all the percautions possiable because they are not a fun thing to live with. when she gets older she can take a vitamin called Lysine that you get where ever you get your vitamins from. I get mine from my Chiropractor. Sun exposure,(use a high SPF chapstick) aciddy foods like orange juice, stress and lack of sleep are just some of the causes. If your Stepmom has cold sores that bad you may want to suggest that she see a Doctor and get a Percription for Valtrex. It is intended for Genital Herpes but I take it for my cold sores and it works great. I can't remember the last time I had a break out. If she is not looking for a drug have her try the Lysine first. She may also need to change her diet. You can Google cold sores for a whole list of causes.My advice is from my own experiences. Also keep in mind that it is not just something that you can get on your lips. You can get them anywhere. I have always said I wouldn't wish a cold sore on my worst enemy because they would be careless and spread germs!

1 mom found this helpful

i'm not sure on how to make her stop, but please please do! my son got a form of the herpes virus when he was just over one, and our dr. said it was most likely from someone kissing him with a cold sore. his entire body (literally) was covered in a very painful rash, and his face was so swollen his eyes were almost closed. our dr. said we could admit him to the hospital and they would treat him in the burn unit because that was how painful it was. i'm with the people who say to print off info on the effects of contracting this virus as a baby and showing her. if you want i could even e-mail you pics of my baby when he had it!

1 mom found this helpful

The same thing happened with me, except it was with my mil. She thought I was overreacting. All that I could do was to keep an eye on her(She ended up being just fine) If there are any changes at all bring her to the dr, other than that there isn't much more you can do. Maybe you could print off some of the research that shows the harm she could cause to your little girl and show your stepmom and maybe she will be a little more responsible.

I have never experienced any of my children exposed to cold sores, but I share you annoyance. I woul be wanting to avoid too, even if it is something with low likelihood of transfer, but this is contagious! Maybe try showing her some data from WebMD or other material from the doctor or online that show information. Hopefully she didn't transfer anything, but still makes one mad! Good luck M.!

Tell her NO! Try getting a note from your pediatrician (maybe your stepmom will acknowledge that authority) to back you up. If she persists, tell her she cannot hold the baby when she has a cold sore, because you are not able to trust her to keep her distance. A newborn is too tiny to mess with - her health has to take precedence over anyone else right now until she is old enough and large enough to fend of germs adequately. Stand firm, be polite and try to rally others to stand with you (grandpa, husband, inlaws). You need support and having other relatives there agreeing with you might make a difference.

SAHM of seven

I once had an infant come into work with band-aids all over. I asked the parents what happened. The dad gets cold sores and didn't know he had a breakout because of facial hair. The little guy had sores on his arms, legs, and face. They put band-aids on them so he wouldn't scratch.

You might want to do some research because I'm not sure you need broken skin to contract the virous. I found it hard to believe this child had sratches/cut all over his body when he was kissed. Maybe printing off the material and giving to grandma will help. She probably isn't thinking about it when she kisses your baby. Maybe when you see her go on for the kiss you can say "I prefer people don't kiss her"

Go with your instincts. The cold sore virus is "forever" and though some people who've been exposed have 1-2 outbreaks in their lifetime; others are not so lucky and can have regular outbreaks. They can be socially problematic. I have a friend who suffers from cold sores and she is super-ultra careful with her babies so she doesn't give it to them.

My mother did this with my daughter also. Back then we didn't realize how easy it is to transfer the virus to a baby. My daughter didn't show signs of cold sores until she was about 5 or 6 and she got them pretty nasty for a while.

Stop your step mom telling her that she has a virus and unlike a cold, it stays in your body forever. Tell her she wouldn't dream of kissing the baby with a flu virus and that is only a 3 day disease. Research cold sores on the net and print it out, hand this to her and tell her while you love her and know she loves the baby, she needs to love the baby enough to keep her from a life long misery with that disease. I wish I had known this. My daughter is 25 and she still has a heck of a time with cold sores.

my mom sometimes gets cold sores & loves to give the kids kisses. I expained that I didn't want her kissing the kids when she had a cold sore. I know how much she hates the cold sores & how much they can hurt when she gets them. So I appealed to her love of the baby & reminded her that she doesn't want the baby to suffer with cold sores his entire life. Now the boys get to kiss Grandma on the cheek is she has one & she can kiss their head or arm (anywhere without exposed skin) when she has a cold sore. I hope that works for you. I agree with the other poster who said show pictures & would get the baby pics of Cheri B's baby. If that doesn't work, maybe you could also talk with your dad & explain your concerns to him & see if he'll help you talk with her (do they kiss when she has one, etc.) Good Luck

I'm responding to this after a long time from the post, I jsut happened across it.

But, I would think the words "restraining order" would be my thought's.

I think that would upset someone enough to take you seriously. A restraining order is designed to protect a person or persons from others who pose harm or neglectful harm to another. And, that is what she is doing. SHe is not respecting your wishes as the parent of this child and is posing a lifetime medical risk that can cause harm to your baby girl.

If you were your child and you found out your mom was more concerned with the feelings of the dad and his mom, then her overall health and you got stuck with this virus for life - that could affect her social, work, and even relationship - including future family life. How would that make you feel. So, I would suggest the process of restriaining order to make her take you seriously - that or risk infection to your child.

I suffer from cold sores - I know. I also have kids and one of them has them too- I was exctremly careful - but, as her mom and with out her dad around. I had to be in constant contact with her.

Your loving MIL needs to respect your baby's body and your wishes. Tell her she is more than welcome to blow kisses!
She CAN resist the urge. Anyone can control ANY urge they have. I think she will want to for the baby's sake. If not, then she will have to have a consequence.
I feel for you completely. I am going through a boundary issue with my MIL right now. She is a wonderful lady and I don't want to hurt her feelings, at the same time I don't want to dread being around her. It's best for everyone to set boundaries.
I have piano students who come with cold sores frequently. They automatically know to wash their hands before being near the baby and NOT to kiss her.
Good luck!

I suffer from cold sores too. I would be so bold as to say "It looks like you're not feeling very well. I'd rather you not hold the baby." Especially if you've asked her not to kiss with cold sores, and she doesn't respect that. It's rude for her not to. So if you come off rude for your child's well-being. So what?!
You could offer alternative "kissing" areas if you want, but only if she respects that. Otherwise, I wouldn't let her hold my baby.

Tell her if she doesn't stop she can't see her. If she doesn't understand that you don't want your daughter to contract anything then she isn't responsible enough to be around your daughter. Sometimes you can't be nice all the time. Good luck.

Hi M.,
a cold sore is a sign of the herpes virus. you really don't want it in contact with your baby. when there isn't a sore visible most likely the virus isn't contagious.
if she gets sick with herpes she will most likely run a very high fever, have painful blisters in her mouth for days and throughout her lifetime have cold sores whenever stressed or sick. not something you would want a little one to deal with. my daughter got this at about 18months old and it was terrible for her.
maybe if you searched the internet and found some information you could show it to your stepmom and she could understand what it's all about? probably since it doesn't bother her or cause her discomfort she doen't think it's a big deal.
there are plenty of other ways to show affection in addition to kissing.
if I were you i'd be freaking out! hope you can find a way to communicate with her and make her stop.

I completely understand why you are concerned. It bothers me that she hasn't stopped despit the fact that you have not only talked to her about the cold sores, but that you have directly addressed the issue of your young infant.

There could be several reasons she is not listening. Either she just doesn't get that there is a risk, or she is just not respecting your wishes.

Here is a site that talks about the cause of cold sores:

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/cold_sores/page2_em.htm

If I were in your shoes, I would print something similar out and share it with her. Your infant is only 7 weeks, and I'm shocked that she isn't listening to you. Sometimes, facts in print carry more authority than a verbal explanation.

Make sure to validate your gratitude for her interest in you and your daughter. Not everyone has family that want to be involved. You are lucky to have family that value your daughter and want to be part of her life.

Make sure that she knows that you want her in your life, but that you need her to respect your concerns about the cold sores.

I hope that she responds.