7-Week Old Won't Sleep on Her Back

It is hard to start this out. I am a 56 year old mom...whose only child died almost 2 years ago in a freak hiking accident. She would have been 27 years old August 1. Alicia hated sleeping alone. For YEARS I cuddled her and layed down with her to get her to sleep. Do I have any regrets?? NOT ONE REGRET! I was given a precious gift to now have those memories. We loved each other deeply and we were each other's best friend. She turned out to be an awesome woman who was gentle, kind, caring compassionate and yet strong enough to know what she wanted to do and then she would do it. I NEVER had a problem with her as a teenager...she was always my angel. And now she is my real angel. So, life is a gift. We do not know how much time we have with our children. So, never hesitate to give that extra little bit of love...you will NEVER regret it! I had endo and was never supposed to even ahve a child...but I was given this beautiful gift....and I hope that I was a good mom! L.

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Try swaddling her. You can buy "Swaddles" at target, this will prevent her arms from "flailing" around. Good luck!

Yes, we had the same trouble with our daughter. We figured it was her altitude sensor. I don't really have any advice, just to wait...it will go away. Babies just need more snuggles at this age (okay my son hasn't stopped and he's 2). My husband would hold her all night in a chair. All night. She ended up co-sleeping with us until 10 mos. Now she still crawls into our bed (in the middle of the night) at age 4. She's our snuggle bug and is part of her personality that we've accepted.

I am a huge advocate of stomach sleeping - which I talk about often. It aids in digestion and helps the baby to remain in her womb-like state. The percentage of babies that suffocate is not clear - although they make it sound like every face down baby will.

For back sleeping, however, try this trick S.:

While you are giving her the bottle (or boob) have her lying on a pillow - preferably something beaten down as opposed to very full and fluffy. When she falls asleep, lift the pillow with her on it and gently move it to her sleeping place.

I will add that you can, at this point, gently roll her over onto her stomach for a good night's sleep. Her head, now hanging slightly over the edge of the pillow, will ensure a clearance for her mouth and nose so that she won't suffocate. Rolling her over is up to you.

My son is 8 weeks old and does the same thing. He sleeps on his side at night and sleeps for 4-5 hours at a time. Also there is a book called "The Happiest Baby on the Block" I highly recommend this book. I wish I would have read it when my 7 year old son was an infant.

You are certinaly not being a wimp - you're a new mommy and we all do what we can becasue we love our little ones that much and are so in awe. It does get better and it will. Start each new day with a new outlook and try different things with her, you know she's content AND tired if she's falling alseep in your arms. It's just hard to remember that I'm sure when you lay her down and she's screaming, but try and try hard for the both of you. Keep that in perspective and try various things to make her content. You'll surely find something that works for you. Know that every mom out there knows this feeling! Best of luck to you! Congratulations on your little angel.

This might sound strange.... but I have a friend who's baby girl has the same problem. They have had success putting her into her car seat and putting that into the crib. They swaddle her in there and then place her in the crib and that has helped! :) sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to keep your sanity!
Good Luck!

I had this same problem with my now 9 mo old. She had a lot of gas problems and would not sleep flat in any position. We ended up putting her in her carseat every night and nap until she was able to roll over. After that, I started putting her in her crib and she would roll on her side on her own and sleep good. I think it had to do with her gas/indigestion problems. Try this if you aren't comfortable with stomach sleeping. Good luck!

Some babies (newborns particularly) need motion to sleep and a sensation of being held tight. Some theories are because when babies are in utero (sp?) they are constantly in motion in the ambiotic fluid and apparently get accoustomed to the sensations of your movement and sounds while still inside of you. There are alot of books about this, and many baby soothing techniques you can use to help her
get used to being on the outside.

Dr. Sears has written quite extensively on the topic. Check out his book "The Fussy Baby Book." Another good book NOT written by Dr. Sears is titled the "Happiest Baby on the Block". Sorry I don't remember the name of the doctor who wrote it. But it's a best seller so if you run a title check on Amazon.com you should find it.

There are also recommended baby soothing products that are safe for baby to sleep in. A friend of mine got a motorized baby bouncer that moves in such a way that helps babies who need motion to sleep. It's kinda pricey, and I think it's made by Graco, but she swears by the thing. Especially when she's all pooped out from carrying the baby all day.

Dr. Sears markets a non-motorized crib/hammock swing that is supposed to be safe and soothing. Go to his website at www.askdrsears.com. for more details.

Good luck and hang in there.

im sure someone else has recommended swaddling...

also check out happiest baby on the block DVD. i got my copy when my son was ... too old for it but i sat watching it anyway, crying my head off cuz i wished i had watched it before it was too late LOL.

lots of babies do this, its normal. the first 3 months after birth are sometimes called the 4th trimester because they are totally helpless, they dont understand that they are separate from mom, and it scares them when they are separate from mom.

i would just tell you to do your best to be responsive to your baby. i can tell you are very connected to her, and you care deeply for her feelings. this is good.

you might enjoy the information that william sears provides new parents: www.askdrsears.com
he encourages attachment parenting in all aspects of parenting. he has many books that will help you in all aspects of parenting, and i LOVE all the information i have learned from his books and stuff.
it helped me feel confident that what i was doing was right for me and my son, and it helped me tell naysayers that i was doing things that way because my doctor recommended it! LOL>

good luck.

Have you tried laying her on her front? Who told you that she should only be on her back? The whole myth that they'll suffocate on their front or they're at more risk for SIDS is just that. Myth. I would try her on her belly.

"I know I'm being a wimp, but I spend many nights holding her all night so she doesn't cry"--your baby is a very lucky baby and will be a healthy adult when she grows up if you continue to give her what she needs from her mother while she's little. You are following your instincts, which you have for survival reasons (i.e., they allow you and the baby to survive), and this is a very good thing. In addition, I suggest ignoring suggestions to making her cry it out for that is truly the wimpiest way to deal with things, not the way you are doing it. She is only seven weeks old and needs you to train her how to sleep and she needs you to do this while being close to you. This is what she is trying to tell you. Keep on being a wimp and let her cosleep with you if you so choose. Just make sure you follow the safety guidelines if you cosleep. What baby wants=What baby needs. Listen to your instincts because you have them for a reason.

you can swaddle her so her arms are stuck up by her face. I would try that. Also, I never had a 'swaddling' blanket, but the blankets that have kind of a 'waffle' texture to them always worked really well for me because they have a slight stretch to them. I had gotten them in the baby section at toys r us (we don't have a bru near me).

Oops, somehow I didn't read you whole post and now my son won't let me finish a new post.

Try swaddling tightly with one arm out. We swaddled with both arms out-helped him not flail his legs; he just really liked his arms out.

Ooooh, please do not be a wimp. I was/am a wimp and my son still co-sleeps (he's almost 2 1/2 now.) If you want your bed back anytime in the near future, don't be a wimp...

Also, if she's screaming when you set her down on her back, there may be a legitimate reason. With my son, it turned out to be lactose intolerance. Plus a mild case of reflux.

At 7 weeks, you're going to just do what you have to to get some sleep, but really think hard about "spoiling" her by holding her to get to sleep. I enjoyed co-sleeping, actually still don't mind it most of the time, BUT... My husband has slept on the couch for the past two years to avoid the kicking of little feet, and neither of us is fond of that. I WOULD someday like to sleep in the same bed as my spouse... Co-sleeping is great in my opinion- until YOU want to transition and baby DOESN'T.

Other suggestions: acid reflux pillow for babies (ARPillow.com) good for reflux and good if she just likes sleeping upright. Letting her sleep in a baby swing- only way I got any sleep for about a 6 month stretch. I'd start with the swaddling though, I know it's summer and hot, but just a diaper and a very thin piece of fabric, partial swaddle. Bottom line: wherever you want her to sleep, establish it now, or you may end up in the same place I am 2 years down the road. Best of luck :)

Hi, S.! I had the same problem with one of my sons, he was a nuk baby, but he usually spit it out at night and wanted to suck on his hands, so he would get pretty ticked off if I swaddled him, but would startle himself if I didn't. I ended up doing a different version of swaddling, I would swaddle him tighter on the bottom around his legs and stomach, but a little looser on the top, with his hands out of the blanket so he had easy access. I also used one of those baby bumper supporters (I don't remember what they are called, they are the little pads you put down that has foam supports on each side so the baby doesn't move around or roll over) and that seemed to help as well. I hope that helps, and good luck!
P.S. I made the mistake with my first son of just giving up and letting him sleep in my arms at night, and by the time he was too big to do that I had to re-teach him to sleep in his crib, which was horrible, and he ended up not sleeping through the night until he was over a year old, and I would have to stay in his room until he fell asleep, which would sometimes take an hour or more. Needless to say, I put my twins in the crib as soon as they got home, and I tried to make sure that they weren't completely asleep when I put them in there, so they learned how to fall asleep on their own. Since your daughter is only 7 weeks old, I would try to work on that now, because I don't wish what I went through on anyone! :)

Both of my kids were the same way. We bought those sleep positioners and let them sleep on their sides. We talked about it with their doctor and they said it is not as safe as the back but it would be fine. We just made sure there were no loose blankets or anything in there. And as soon as they could roll we put them on their tummy. Most babies don't like to sleep on their back so don't feel bad about it.

Our baby did this for a while. I just made sure she was swaddled really tight. I would let her fall asleep on my lap without me holding her. She would go into a deep enough sleep that I would carefully move her to her bed. This only worked at night, during the day she would wake up. Just keep working at it.

I would avoid putting her on her tummy to sleep unless you are there watching her. When the recommendation was changed from tummy to back for sleep SIDS decreased from 6000/year to 1000. That is a hugh decrease for it to be a myth.

Swaddle, swaddle, swaddle...and my advice is to get the book "On Becoming Babywise." It has great information about schedules to help the baby sleep better at night and during the day. Also, he does a great job of explaining why it is so important that babies learn to comfort themselves and put themselves to sleep. It is hard the first couple times to hear your baby cry - but when our son slept 8 hours a night at 10 weeks and 12 hours a night by 5.5 months, I believed that we had done the right things to help him get himself to sleep. Also, swaddling worked great - ALWAYS put young babies down to sleep on back - when they can turn themselves onto their stomach then it is ok for them to sleep that way. And, I would try a pacifier to substitute for the fingers. New babies do have a need to suck, and I don't see any reason not to use the pacifier at nap and bedtime. Good luck!

My daughter was the same way. I do know a friend who lost a brother to SIDS, so I really didn't want to put her to sleep overnight on her tummy due to just how much the statistics improved when babies started to be put to sleep on their back. (I did let her nap on her tummy during the day though when I was able to check on her more often.)

We swaddled our daughter and would use a pacifier. She would often spit it out, but we'd hold it by her mouth for a few minutes and that was often enough to get her to drift off again.

We also got a sound and lights toy that would play music and project shapes on the ceiling. She seemed to like watching lights, so it was something else that seemed to help her drift off to sleep sometimes. It would play for 15 minutes instead of the 2-3 minutes that the mobile we had would. (With the mobile, she'd start falling asleep and when it stopped, wide awake again!)

Hang in there, it seems like it takes forever, but I ended up having a baby sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. (Though some nights it did take awhile to get her to sleep!) Mine has a cold right now, so the past two nights have been back to a struggle to get her to sleep, so I'm right with you again!

Even if she seems to not like swaddling, you need to swaddle her tightly. Most babies resist it at first. It is the only way our son can sleep on his back. try it!

Not a wimp- hold the baby if you both sleep better

Dear S. -
I had this exact same thing happen with my first child as well!!! I was so frustrated!! Not to mention exhausted from holding her all the time. She didn't like to be swaddled either. She's 13 now, so they do grow out of it!!:)

One day, I was so tired and so was she. She had woken herself up from her nap for the third time and I thought to myself...what will really happen if I lay her on her stomach? So I put blankets on the couch, all tucked in to the cushions. Then I put her on her stomach and put a light blanket over her and I sat next to her. That child slept for 3 hours!!!!! Well, needless to say, from then on, she took naps on her tummy. She still sleeps on her stomach 13 years later!!

If you are not comfortable with putting her all the way on her stomach, which some people are not, try rolling up a receiving blanket and propping her at an angle so she can't flail her hands and arms quite as much. I know that is what kept waking my daughter up too!

Hope some of this helps!! Mom of 4 - N.

Is there a reason why she needs to sleep on her back? I know doctors keep changing their minds on this, but I had one that preferred his back and ended up with a flat spot on his head. Anyway, you need to learn to let her cry before this becomes a habit. Babies need to learn how to comfort themselves so they can sleep better. I know it is hard to do the first night or two, but she will adjust and you will feel much more rested yourself if she can sleep independently. Try to break this tendency soon or you will end up with a real battle on your hands.

In answer to your question, "does it get better?." It really depends on you. You are the Mom and need to be the authority, even at this age. When it is time to sleep, you need to lovingly, gently but firmly insist on it. If you "rescue" her when she cries out for comfort, she will learn that she is in control and that will likely lead to her being out of control.
Check on her, position her, give her a pat and tell her it is time to sleep and then LEAVE the room. If she cries for more than 20 minutes, go back and repeat the process. If you can't bear to do this all at once, cold turkey, than do it in stages. Just wait a little longer each time before you go in to her. Eventually, you will find that she will put herself back to sleep. It is worth it to win this one because the battles that are coming up will require a well rested mom to deal with.

The only advice i really have is to try swaddling her with one arm free. My aunt use to do this with my cousin. Also, I have read babies do this because of all the room in the crib. You could try a bassinet or make sure the mattress is as high as it goes. when you put her down, bend down with her, so she is pressed against you until you have her on the mattress. Keep your arms against her as you stand up, so she feels light pressure, as though you were holding her still, then after she is laying there, you can slowly move. By then she will (hopefully) be sound asleep and comfortable in bed.
Best of luck!

Try putting her an her tummy to sleep. I know not suppose to but after endless nights with my son I finally gave in and let him sleep on his tummy we now get 10 hours of sleep yah.

Hi S.,
Yes, I had problems with this also with my daughter. She wouldn't sleep on her back at all either (or on her stomach). The only places mine would sleep was in a swing or in a bouncer. Batteries got to be very expensive!! I tried everything before restorting to these. I tried little wedges for the crib- didn't work. I tried putting a little bassinette right next to the rocking chair so when I was done feeding her and she was asleep I could gently just put her in but she was like a little doll... as soon as she was down on her back, the eyes popped right open and there went the arms.
Finally after 4 months we got sick of it and just put her on her back in the crib and she did alright. I was shocked. But it took that long for it to happen! I was probably just scared that she wouldn't sleep the whole night on her back and that she slept the whole night in the swing and I enjoyed my night sleep. So it probably would've been alright to try sooner and maybe have been more persistent. I think if you're persistent with something... eventually it will turn out fine. She'll sleep on her back. Or hey, worst comes to worse... you may have to resort to what I did for a while. Good luck!

Our son did the same thing, startling himself awake and then screaming whenever you laid him down. We couldn't swaddle him because he wanted to be able to kick his legs. Finally after trying about a million different things we swaddled him with his legs free. We had gotten some home made security blankets, and they worked better because they were bigger and stayed on tighter longer when he squirmed. So maybe with your daughter you could swaddle her, but just leave the hand or hands she likes to suck out and free? (If that doesn't work and she breaks free of the swaddle, maybe get some bigger security blankets to try?) Maybe with one arm swaddled down that would stop the startling?

If you end up putting her on her back like someone else mentioned, there are baby monitors you can get that will beep if the baby stops breathing. It's the coolest thing and I wish I'd had one when my son was younger. They sell them at walmart.com for around $50 I think.

Good luck, it does get better. As they get older they startle less and less it seems.

Could you leave one arm out when you swaddle... I know that the swaddle won't be as tight then but then she could suck her fingers yet feel a little more secure.

Try putting something that smells like you in the crib/bassinet... that way she will feel close to you without you actually being there. Maybe she also likes your sounds (breathing/hearth and so on) so maybe try to get a CD with those sounds on it to help comfort her.

Otherwise my only other advice (which is harsh) is let her cry it out and she will figure out on her own what works for her. It may take a few naps/nights. She has trained you to hold her to sleep and now the cycle has to be broken for her sake and yours. It will tug at your heart strings, so go outside or some where were you can not hear her... set a timer 5, 10, 15 minutes so you know how long to wait before going in. Try to lengthen the time if she is still crying at 5 mins, she will eventually go to sleep. It may not be the most peaceful way to fall asleep but your daughter will get the idea and fall asleep peacefully once you stop giving into her.

S.,
My little one did ok with swaddling, but if your girl needs to suck her hands you may want to try creatively swaddling her with a bent arm so her hand is still available, but she can't throw her arms around. Also a trick we did that might also be a good compromise for you is that we used a stretchy pouch type sling. We'd get our son asleep and then slip out of the sling and leave him sleeping in it. It wasn't tight like a swaddle, but he still felt snugged up and didn't flail. Good luck!
S.

You can place her on her side. Swaddling is a good option to keep her from flailing. Maybe try a pacifier to calm her. It also decreases the chance for SIDS. Holding her occasionally is okay, but if she gets too used to it she won't want to sleep on her own and then you have a whole new issue to deal with.

Have you considered letting her sleep with you and your husband? I know that is not the common thing to do, but it can work really well if that is what you both want and agree to do. If you are nursing, it is so easy for night feedings! My daughter rarely cries during the night when she wakes up because I wake up when she starts moving and am able to get her in position, feeding, and back asleep without either of us fully waking up. We both get more rest and my husband hardly ever even knows we've been up. During the day, while I am at work, she sleeps in her bassinet or swing just fine (it did take a few weeks for her to adjust-but she was never left to cry during that adjustment time).

My daughter is 3 1/2 months and I have not done the "let her cry" thing at all. She is only going to be this little for a short time, and I am going to hold her as much as I want, regardless of what other people say. I don't believe babies this young can be spoiled by holding "too much" or know how to be manipulative to get you to do what they want. They just know that they want their mommy! I love the extra cuddle time we have by sleeping as a family.

Try not to see yourself as a wimp, rather as a mommy who is doing her best to meet her daughter's needs!

If you prefer to have her sleep alone, maybe you could try a sleep positioner, that way she could still feel snuggled. A white noise machine playing a heartbeat may also help. Or a CD with lullaby music. I have seen teddy bears that play womb noises.

Whatever you choose to do, good luck to you! It sounds as though you are a wonderfully devoted mom!

You could try one of those foam wedge things that will keep her on her side. We used one on our older son. You can usually find them at Walmart, Target, or Toys R Us.

My second daughter was the same way, she would not sleep on her back. We resorted to having her sleep proped up on the Boppy or we carried the swing up to our roon everynight because she would sleep in that.
I was not about to deal with that forever! So, I gradually helped her get used to sleeping on her back. Start small with naps, I used a sleep wedge with her feet proped up. Eventually I took away the foot prop and then the wedge. She liked sleeping on her side which helped too. If she is a gassy baby it can be really uncomfortable to sleep flat, you can try giving her gas drops before naps and bedtime too.

First if she likes her fingers, I would try a pacifier. New studies show they reduce the risk of SIDS and don't affect their teeth if given up by age 2. The pacifier has been my life saver to help my baby sleep at night! My son would not sleep alone, no matter what I tried so I gave up and started having him sleep with me (it's just me so it's not a big deal). He is now 14 months old and still sleeps with me at night. I snuggle him in the crook of my arm and don't feel bad about it. I have done this since he was very little, it helped with the arm flailing! Everyone always talks down to me becasue he still sleeps with me but I don't have the heart to let him cry it out. He will probably be my only baby so I figure I'm going to take advantage of all the quality time I can get while I'm still the best thing in his life!!

My now 15 month old was the same way when he was that old. We actually had him sleep on his tummy because that's the way he preferred and he didn't startle himself awake. I also felt more comfortable about it in case he spit up because it would just drain out of his mouth-when he was on his back, he wouldn't turn his head when he spit up. Find what works for you & your baby and don't let anyone tell you your not doing it "right" because you know your baby best!

Congratulations on your new little one!

Try a sleep sack! My son hated being swaddled for the same reason, but the sleep sack keeps his feet somewhat contained and has worked wonders for us!

Best of luck to you!
K.

I had the same problem with both of my kids (now 7 and 4). I too let them sleep on me part of the time. They would not lie flat on their backs, but I could get them to sleep in their carriers. I would then put the carrier in their crib. They both used to spit-up A LOT!! I think sleeping flat gave them a little bit of heart burn. My pediatrician suggested to place a pillow under the crib mattress so that it would be at a slight angle, but I didn't think it worked at all. My kids were about 5 months old before they actually slept flat on their backs. Hang in there--It will get better! Hope this helps.

You are not being a wimp, you are being a mom!!!! I want to commend you for knowing your baby and holdig her while she sleeps instead of the good ol cry by yourself method! WE have had the same situation...( can she roll yet?)put her down on her tummy, if she can, or her side. You may really need to cozy up to her as you are putting her down but it might help. Are you breastfeeding? I have found that helps too? Just some thoughts.

I know that this goes against what the doctors and the PC crowd will tell you, but my daughter who is one now never would sleep on her back. She had very good neck strength from day one and as long as she was on her tummy she slept wonderfully.

My mother told me that with each child she had that the doctor would tell her.... they have to sleep on their tummy, or side, or back, and she had six kids, she finally quit listening to them, and followed her instincts with each child seperately.

The other thing that I have found for good sleeping, is spending the few extra dollars for a good crib mattress, and putting them in their crib as soon as possible. My babies never slept well in a bassinet, and I never slept well with them in bed with me.

Bottom line is you have to follow your instincts with YOUR child, because there is never one right answer for all babies, each is different and wonderful in their own way, and no one knows your baby like you do. Do what is the safest and best for your baby, and allows you to get the rest you need to be the best Mom you can be.

Try swaddling her. It will keep her from flailing. Helps the baby to feel secure.