6 Years or 60Lbs,has Anyone Else Felt Sad About Removing the Last Carseat?

Hi N.,
I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I still have my kids' old carseat in the garage. I still use a booster for the youngest, but the one they used as babies isn't leaving my sight for a while. My youngest just started school this year -- she's five. I know exactly what you mean, and you're not the only one. (We're overseas right now, and children start full-day primary school [like first grade] as soon as they turn five. It turned out to be far harder on me that it was on her!)

I kept our carseat. I keep certain little outfits, locks of hair -- but the carseat, cumbersome as it is, remains the mother of all reminders. It sits beside the bikes under the workbench grimacing at my poor husband, "I'm huge and I'm wasting space and you can't touch me!"

But when I walk out there, I see each of my babies, tiny, nestled against the fabric when it was still new. I remember sitting behind the wheel, my wrist draped over the edge of that carseat, tiny fingers wrapped around my pinky. I remember all the primping and preparing I did to make sure each trip was comfortable for my wet-noodle newborns. I remember the smell of their hair and the sound of that airy laughter only a baby can make.

And then they grew, one by one. And soon the spot worn thin by little downy scalps was hidden behind busy overalls until each baby was big enough for the toddler carseat. I lent that one to a friend. And then I went inside and cried. It's just a thing, but it's a thing that held my baby when I could not, it kept him safe and close to me and when I look at it I don't see a thing, I see a thousand miles of our life.

It's okay that they grow up; it's good and I'm relieved, in a way, that we made it this far unscathed. But... it's just that... I know that every ounce they gain, every inch they grow increases that invisible distance between us. I wouldn't have it any other way. And yet... it's melancholy triumph, isn't it.

It's often said that things don't matter, they're just things. But they're more than that. They are reminders. They are triggers. They brush across our line of vision and spawn an avalanche of sights and scents and sounds -- they bring to life the moment that was lost. I don't think you're silly at all. I think you are loving and honest. And I'm glad that there's a place like this to tell each other that we are never alone, even if the car seems emptier for that little space where the carseat used to be.

:-)

1 mom found this helpful

I may be wrong, but I beleive the law says 6 years AND 60lbs, so he may still need it. But no, you are not silly. My oldest is only 3 1/2 and I find it hard to beleive he only needs a booster now!

Of course you're not silly. I think that all moms go through times like this when something comes to an end. I cried every day for about two months after my third child was born and I'd had my tubes tied. It's sad when chapters in our lives come to an end. Cry on!!!

Hi N.,

Actually it is 80LBS, 8 years old and 4' 9". My daughter is 4 and I was trying to decide if I was going to buy her a booster or the BRITAX REGENT car seat that goes to 80 LBS. I went on www.nhtsa.gov to check the laws on how long they should be in a booster and then I called them to confirm. This is what they told me. So GOOD NEWS...you have a few more years. :) They grow up so fast...enjoy every moment.

K.

Yes, I'm have the same problem!
My oldest daughter is 5 1/2 (only 36 lbs) and I JUST moved her to a booster seat. We moved her because the baby is turning one and needs the forward facing carseat.

Pediatrician's recommend that a child stay in a 5pt harness until 40 lbs. It's also recommended that they stay in a booster until they are 8yrs or 80lbs. But, it's not the "law". Do what's right for you.

N. S.,
I am a Nationally Certified Child Passenger Safety Techinican Instructor and I would like to offer my professional advice and recomendation about the law and keeping children in their booster seats longer than what the law is in California.
The law here in California is at least 6 years old OR at least 60 pounds must be properly restrained in the back seat with a child car seat, booster seat or seat belt. However keeping our 6-12 year olds in their booster seats will help reduce their injuries during a crash by 54%. The recommended height is 4 feet 9 inches before they can safely sit with the adult lap and shoulder seat belt. A great five step test is available at www.carseat.org or www.saferidinkidz.com. Not only do I offer a service in San Diego County, I also coordinate the car seat education classes for people who have received a ticket for not properly buckling their child or children in the carseat or seatbelt. This class is offered so you one get the education needed but it also reduces the fine by about $200.00. www.safetycouncilonline.com.
Remember this statistic: Motor Vehicle Crashes are the leading cause of death to our children, Nationally! Buckle them your child or children up properly and if you don't know if you are doing it the right way, find a nationally certified trained technician who can help you.www.nhtsa.org
Warmest Regards,
B. Geilenfeldt
____@____.com

Hi N.,
Like others have said I believe the law is 6 years AND 60lbs, but pediatricians recommend 80lbs. I have 10 year old twins and my daughter is big/tall enough to be out of her booster but her brother is not so he is still in a booster seat. I think its perfectly normal to keep your little guy in a booster until you feel comfortable that he is big enough and I"m sure your pediatrician can reccomend when he is big enough to not need it as well.

N.,
It sounds to me like you should have another baby!!!!!!!!!!

I am not surewhat state you are in, but most states require that your child be in a booster seat until they are 10 years old or 80 pounds.

I would double check with Highway Patrol the age and weight requirement before removing that booster. My daughter is 6 yrs old and 65 lbs. I went to a car seat class for my 3 year old and they told me that the age and weight was extended to 10 yrs old and I believe 90 lbs. I'm not sure what it would be in your area but I hope this helps.

N.,
As both Wendy and a few of the other mom's mentioned, it is important for a child to be kept in a booster until they are tall enough - and here is why....if they child's knees don't bend at the seat's end, the child can "submarine" out from under the seat belt during a collision. I think that the recommendations do not do justice to our children - it shouldn't be based on weight, but rather, on height. If your child is TALL enough, it's time to move on - difficult as it is. Many of us, by the way, keep our children's things- myself included - but I'm also the mom that is ready to help out (picking up younger kids in an emergency) because I still have the car seats - much to my husband's chagrin for wanting to have a clean garage!
J.

Well...it's actually 6 years AND 60 pounds, but boosters are now recommended for children up to 80 lbs. My son is almost 9, 67 lbs and still in a booster seat in two of our 4 vehicles because he doesn't fit quite right. Check your kindergardener for proper fit: with his bottom all the way back in the seat his knees should bend over the seat comfortably, the shoulder harness should cross over the middle of his collar bone and the waist belt, low over the hips...not the tummy. If he does not meet ALL the positioning guidelines...he should still be in a booster. So, you can still feel like he is still your "baby", though I'm sure he would disagree with you!

You are not alone. I did not stop using a carseat for my 6 year old that weighs only 40 pounds. Instead I purchased the only 5 point harness booster/carseat by Britax. It goes up to 80 pounds. I just did not feel comfortable not using a carseat anymore. I keep a booster in the trunk just in case she has to ride in another car because the Britax is huge and hard to change to another car.

Don't jump too quickly to remove it!!! At our Dr.s office on the height chart there is a big arrow pointing at 57" stating you should be this tall before you're out of a booster. Reason being, the seat belt hits you along the neck and is very dangerous if in an accident. My daughter is almost 9 and still in a booster! Some people make comments, but we don't care because I am keeping her as safe as possible!!!

I think that most mothers become attached to their self-image as "mother," especially mother of infants.

However, as the wife of a man who is out of town (country) at least half the year and the mother of two infants, I can't wait for my children to "graduate!" (My back will probably never be the same.) So when you start to get teary-eyed about your child growing up, try to think about what you'll be missing--both good and bad.

L. E

To the best of my knowledge, it is 6 AND 60lbs. Just because your child is 6 years old they may not have the body growth to not be in the car seat. Also if your child is big for his age, he or she might not have the organ maturity.

hmm i dont know about you but i bought carseats that go up to 100lbs. and will probably use them until my little one is 4'9''. but its your desision on if you give the car seat up or not. i personally think you should still use a booster. good luck!

My youngest turned 6 on April 29. He is in kindergarten. His car seat is still buckled in the car. They are recomended to 80 pounds, but it's an excuse. You are not alone in your feelings

I say don't take the seat out...from what I've read, they recommend they are in the booster until they are 60 lbs regardless of age. It's safer!

-M

I agree with everyones point about safety. But my Son wanted to be able to see out the window. He is now 9 and still enjoys his booster. I only take it out for playdates so he and his friends can sit more comfortably.
Enjoy being the mom of a six year old, now you can harvest a relationship that is more then just wiping hand and cutting food. Do big kid things together- go to lunch and a movie, or museum, see a show. My Son and I love doing Mom and Me big kid activities.
Don't see as a sad time see it as an oppotunity to grow!

No not silly at all. We as Moms have to take these baby steps with our kids. Sometimes ( like probably more than our kids) it will effect us more than them.
Just remember there are so many more things to come and it's ok to feel sad and cry. If you didn't i would worry about you.
Take care

Don't throw your anxiety on your child. And if you think that they don't notice - think again. They watch EVERYTHING you say and do. Scary, huh? Remember, you have children to have them grow into functioning human beings - on their own! Have this be a joyous occasion. He's growing up- let him! Enjoy him, because he'll be grown up and out before you know it. I know this because it happened to me! My son is a Godly, self-reliant, trustworthy member of society with an absolutely wonderful wife. I couldn't be happier for him.

I believe here in hawaii they made it 8 and 80lbs on the first of the year. My daughter turned nine on the 15th, is 5' tall and 95lbs. but I had to put her in for half a month even though she CLEARLY outgrew it. I think until you can say your child is CLEARLY not in need (ie, can see out windows, fits nicely under strap, etc.) then why take him out? CHP told me they are safer the closer thier backs are to the seat so maybe look into that and consider the backless boosters?

It is kind of a sad time. My kids are 11 and 8 now and I have to say I miss the baby and toddler years a lot sometimes.Ii find it helps to think of all the benefits to being a "big kid mom," like more free time and no changing diapers. They're more independent. They will still need you, just in different ways, like cub scout mom, soccer mom, baseball mom etc, and as far as having reminders that you're a mom, don't worry, if you've got stretch marks just give your self a good look in the mirror before getting dressed. If that doesn't remind you you're a mom I don't know what will.

They are safest in a car seat when they are under 80 lbs.
My twin boys are 8 and still use a booster.
Watching them grow and change is bittersweet.

I would not stop using it, my daughter is 7 and 70 lbs. and I still use a booster for her safety. If you go to you tube and search Kyle Miller, you will understand why the written laws are not always the way to go! Stick with your mommy instinct and follow your emotions on this one and put him back in to a 5 point harness if he fits in one and if not, use a booster. When using a booster, he needs to be over 4'3". The true way to know if he is ready for the adult seat belt is his height, 4'9" is the minimum that a child should use an adult belt without a booster. It really is too general going off age and weight!

Good luck!

Hi N., i am a home daycare provider, and i have two kindergarters and they both still use a booster seat. The law is they must be 6 and at least 60 pounds, One meets the weight requirement one does not, the one who does still uses the booster seat, they are still the safest way for a child to travel, plus it puts them up a little higher so they can see out the windows better. And no I don;t think you are being silly, my kids are 24,21 and 19, and it is a bitter sweet thing watching them grow up. Mother for 24 years. J.

Well, try checking your states child restraint laws because in some states it is until 7 or 4'9" before they are allowed to be out of a booster. If you still feel safer with a booster then keep using it. I know it must be hard cause I cried when my baby no longer fit in her carrier and had to transition to a big girl car seat..so I'm with ya.

Hi N.,
my son was 10 years old, as I removed the booster from my backseat. According to a presentation I attended, a safety officer strongly recommended to use a booster, so that the seatbelt (which is designed for an adult) will fit properly in the shoulder/hip area. If the person wearing the seatbelt is smaller then an adult, there is a very high chance of getting injuries from the seatbelt.I'm sorry, that I can't tell you exactly what organization did the information class; but I'm hoping, that a call to your local police station may give you some advice to have the safest option for your son.
Best wishes
T.

I know that feeling!!! My son will be 9 years old soon, I can truly say that it's a different kind of fun now. You can look forward to riding in the car with him without that car seat, he's still your baby and now you have a new chapter to get started on.

Yea, I was looking for that height too, but I also found that many states are trying to change the law to 8 and 80 lbs, so don't feel like you have to loose the booster! A seat belt alone isn't safe for a child under 4'9", though.

I decided to keep my son in his carseat until he was in 2nd grade. The US has the most leniant carseat laws. Until the child is 4'9" it is unsafe for them to be in a normal seat belt. Until then the belts to not fit properly and severe injury or death can occur even from a minor fender bender. Please be careful, and watch the link I included.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azgBhZfcqaQ

http://www.carseat.org/Boosters/630.htm