6 Year Old Not Having Bowel Movements in toilet..help!!

My son had the same problem and was 10 years old when, finally, for a different reason, we took him to a chiropractor. Strangely enough, a few months after treatment, the poop problem went away. He still goes once a month to the chiropractor. Evidently, a nerve that controls that urge to go was suppressed and when the pressure was taken off of it, everything was good. During the problem, he had embarrassment and acted like he didn't care, I think, because he couldn't figure out what was happening in his body. I don't know that this is your son's problem, but it's worth a looksie. Good luck.

First, I'd rule out any physical problem. Second, I'd work on developing a more "big boy" relationship with him (you and your husband both) since he is the baby in the family. Third, it may be a control or attention thing, but there are reasons why kids do these things. I'd look at your life to see if there's anything stressing him that can be changed. You can try to talk more with him about anything what might be on his mind. He'll probably be reluctant to do this, so it might have to happen during playing with him, walking or driving with him etc. - anything where he doesn't feel he's being confronted face to face. 4th, you may want to consider counseling but you don't want to give him the idea that he's bad or flawed and that's why you have to take him for counseling. It's very tricky.

I agree with the mom who said he may be very smart. I had one who did this kind of thing, though not consistently. I also agree with the mom who said there may be sensory integration issues. I see now that my very smart daughter had these but no one knew about that stuff back them. She wasn't potty trained till 4 though I tried everything! The feel of her clothing often caused her to rip things off her body, sometimes sending buttons flying etc. She couldn't stand seams in socks, tags in shirts etc. Rushing her when we had to be someplace only caused her to become completely impossible, refuse to put on her shoes etc. She has one child like this too. Both function quite well as adults. Good luck! It sounds exhausting and I know you must be quite frantic for a solution by now. Hope you find one!

Although I cannot relate to a 6 yr old, I think a child any age, whether 3 or 18 who has this problem, it probally is a battle of wills. I agree to have him checked to make sure there is nothing medically wrong, but if there is not I would just stand firm and refuse to allow him to wear a pull up. I am assuming he is in school? I would make his teacher aware of the situation, send him with a spare pair or two of clothes and a package of wipes. If he has an accident, then have the teacher send him into the bathroom to clean himself up. I know it seems mean and gross, but he needs to learn to be responsible for his own body. Whether it be to start at the basics and ask him 100 times a day if he needs to go. I would keep the same thing with at home. If he poops in his pants then hand him the wipes and make him clean himself. He is too big for you to be changing a poopy pull up and wiping him like a baby. Yes you can remind him when he is done to take a wet wipe to himself. I have a 4 & 7 yr old and they both know that when they are done pooping to use a wet wipe since both [ as all children it seems] seem to not wipe good.

V.,
Have you thought about another kind of doctor ie a pyschiatrist to see if there are other underlying issues?

Watch out for encopresis. He may not be feeling when he has to go and it can create a whole world of other problems. You might want to consider putting more fiber in his diet and try to get him into a routine such as going after meals or at a particluar time of day if you can pinpoint when his bowels are trying to move. Upping his apple juice intake will help. It has the fiber aspect as well as additional c.lear liquid intake. I have two Asbergers boys and they both still have issues with pooping in the toilet. We've made it a routine and things have smoothed out a bit. It sounds like he's old enough to wash out his own underwear in the toilet now, too. Just be careful he doesn't flush the underwear or your pipes will be blocked. My oldest did that and I had to retrieve the underwear from the exhaust pipe in the roof. Above all else, I would rule out there is a physical reason for him to do this then look into the mental possibilities. Good luck - Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

S.

Hi V.,

I agree with the ped. and would make him clean himself up, empty the BM into the toilet, wash out his underwear/wrap up his pullup in a bag and put in the trash, etc. (Under supervision, of course.) I know they don't clean themselves as well as we would, but stick him in the shower every time. If there is no physiological reason for it, then he needs to be responsible for cleaning it up. Does he do this at school and all other environments or only at home?

My daughter is 7 and had a biological defect that caused bladder incontinence. She will sometimes wait too long to go to the bathroom and then have an accident. We have to force her to go to the bathroom before we go places and she is really resistant to it. She did have a surgery to correct the issue, but when she has an accident because she waited too long, she is required to clean up the floor, her clothes and take a shower. We don't yell at her or punish her for an accident. We just reiterate that she needs to make an effort to go in the toilet so that accidents don't happen, but when they do, she needs to be clean.

Good luck. That's a tough one.
C.

V.,
Don't feel alone! This is NOT a weird request! My 6 year old son struggles with this issue also. It is not fun, it is very frusterating! All you can do is be patient and not make a big deal about it. Does your son have constipation issues? That is how my son started having this issue himself. He has retentive encorprisis. How does your son do at school with this issue? If you ever need to talk I'm an e-mail away! I have been dealing with this with my son since potty training!
M.

Hello V.,

I would take him to a chiropractor. pressure on the spine can mess up nerve endings and he doesn't have any control. by the way, I still wipe my daughter from time to time to make sure she doesn't not end up w/ a red bottom.
Good luck! ~Carmen~

When poop plops into the water, water splashes on the child's bottom, and some children don't like that at all. It's sensory in nature -- tactile defensiveness -- and may even be painful to him.

Is he defensive to touch sensations anywhere else on his body? Seams in socks? Tags in clothing? Does he avoid touching goopy stuff like liquid soap? Will he play in dirt or mud or pudding or shaving cream?

Another question to help you brainstorm: Do you have a kiddie toilet seat insert on the big toilet so he doesn't feel like he's falling?

Would he poop in a potty chair (no water to plop/splash) instead of a toilet?

I can't tell from your post if he has any other red flags for sensory issues. If he displays any other sensory issues, an occupational therapist may be able to help you. Grab a copy of "The Out of Sync Child," by Carol Kranowitz and see if you recognize him there.

V., I do not have a resolution for you, but I am in the EXACT same situation as you except my 6 yr old is one of my triplets. Logan was totally (day and night) potty trained when he was 3 for about 4 months and then it totally stopped. He is now 6 1/2 and is pooping in his pants still. He has had a test at the dr to see if there was an obstruction but there wasn't and that was at least a year ago. It is almost a daily thing (unless he doesn't have a bowel movement). It is awful and I am SO SICK of cleaning poopy underware. He also wears pull ups at night. He lies when he is poopy as well. I am planning on making a dr appt for him to just specifically discuss this as it is a HUGE problem. It is hard to discuss it with the dr when I have all 3 of the triplets with me because they are awful in the dr office and I cannot get out of there fast enough. I do not know if this has anything what so ever to do with this problem but he is also the smartest of my kids. He tests over a year older than he is at school. He is in 1st grade and can do 3rd grade math. Please keep me updated if you have the time as to what you find out and I will do the same. I do know it is frustraiting, but I feel there is an underlying problem and it is not just laziness.

Hugs
M.