15 answers

6 Year Old Daughter /1St Grade / New Classmate.

hello, second week of school new classmate at school who tells my daughter she doesnt want sit right next to my daughter or trade stickers or share snacks with my child:( at todays pick up my daughter told me her new friend is not speaking nice to her and its hurting her feelings. it breaks my heart....but i keep on telling my daughter "to still be nice at all times, maybe your new friend will come around" i understand last week the new friend had few warnings from the teacher already. What bothers me when a six year child has so much anger inside and to actually say " i will trade my stickers with everyone but YOU" my daughter is very good friends with the rest of the class, very sweet and well behaved same group from last year. The seat of a new student has been assigned at the table right next to my daughter. I hope the new student is just adjusting to new school etc. should i address this to the teacher or let the 6 years old figure it out on their own? thank you.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

We had this with a girl in K, she would point to everyone and say you're my friend, you're my friend etc. , when she got to my dd she'd say, "you're not my friend". Kids that age do weird things for weird reasons. A month from now, they'll all forget about it.

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Just let them work it out. And teach your daughter that she doesn't have to be friends with people who are rude. She can be polite to that person, and make friends with someone else.

7 moms found this helpful

Address what? Not every child has to like or play with your child. This is America and we get to pick our friends. And why do you call this classmate your daughter's friend. It doesn't sound like they are friends, just classmates. All of her classmates will not be and do not have to be her friends.

Also, you are, I'm sure, going by what your daughter is telling you. Remember, there is her side; the classmate's side; and the truth is somewhere in the middle.

Stay out of it. It's no big deal. Please don't be a helicopter mom. Your daughter is telling you what happened, but that doesn't mean she necessarily wants you to get involved.

7 moms found this helpful

First, stop telling her to 'still be nice' and that this girl will 'still come around'. I work in my son's school and have seen some pretty snotty little girls this age. Be nice to them and *sometimes* they will be nice to you, however, there are a few little meanies who have to have the last word, even with the adults.

I'd tell your daughter the truth "Wow, it sounds like she's a hard person to be around. I wouldn't like that either. Who do you know in your class who feels good to play with?" This is a great chance to point out that some kids are not a lot of fun to be around, or they may say mean things, and it's okay not to play with them. I firmly believe this. Teaching discernment begins with small moments-- why would we want to be around a person who doesn't treat us well?

Sometimes children benefit from using some dolls or puppets to do a little role playing . This is a way to help kids learn how to speak out for themselves, they can practice this so that when those mean moments happen, they can feel confident saying what they think. Be sure to let them practice both roles-- the meanie and the nice kid who speaks up for herself. There's no perfect thing for them to say, other than to speak confidently and be genuine without being mean. Let your daughter know that you expect her to be polite when the girl is around, but that she doesn't need to try to make friends. There are other kids who are more fun, feel safer to be around.

I'd let this go a bit before addressing it with the teacher. What I saw on the playground is that the teachers are actually pretty good about letting the kids do some figuring it out on their own-- they step in more when one or the other kid comes with a complaint (sometimes both!) and honestly, I've just been so impressed with how those moments are handled. Unless there's physical hitting involved, they really try to move the kids to doing something else or playing with someone else, which helps the kids learn resilience: recess doesn't end just because someone won't play with you-- find someone else to play with. :)

5 moms found this helpful

Let them work it out.
Explain that she's going to meet lots of new people in her life.
Some are classmates, some are acquaintances, some are school buddies, some are friends.

4 moms found this helpful

We had this with a girl in K, she would point to everyone and say you're my friend, you're my friend etc. , when she got to my dd she'd say, "you're not my friend". Kids that age do weird things for weird reasons. A month from now, they'll all forget about it.

4 moms found this helpful

When you say new friend is this someone your daughter has decided is her friend or is it mutual.? The way you talk it sounds like your daughter wants to be her friend but the girl does not want to be friends with your daughter.

4 moms found this helpful

Let the six year olds figure it out. In addition WHY does this little girl HAVE to be friends with your daughter? I teach my son that you do not have to be friends with everyone, but you do have to respect everyone. If you are disrespected by someone and do not know what to do tell an adult (in this case, teacher) and ask for help. Again, I do NOT understand this whole we have to be friends with everyone junk they are teaching kids now - did this come about with everyone gets a trophy?

3 moms found this helpful

This is a chance to teach your daughter a good life lesson. Tell her what a freind is and how they treat you. Also, I told mine to stay away when someone is acting like that and stick around if they decide to behave in a nice way, just remove themselves from the situation temporarily or permanantly depending on how things go. Great chance to point out that she should not emulate that behaviour with others as they may not like it either....win-win.

3 moms found this helpful

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