6 Year Old Anger Issues

I agree with the Love and Logic post previously, they have some good ideas. I don't use all of them, but there are tools that work! My 9 yr. old STILL has his tantrums. We keep trying to find creative ways for him to deal with his anger. I have to admit however, that I still have problems when I'm pushed too far, so it's hard to point the finger at him when my example isn't the greatest :-) We talk about it and admit that we both need to work on it. He actually reminded me once when I was getting angry with my daughter! Ha ha - I guess our discussions help.

Kudos to you for recognizing it and reaching out for help. I highly recommend John Rosemond's "Well Behaved Child" book. It has changed our lives. It is so much better around our house now. You need to nip this in the bud now before he gets older and his behavior gets worse. Good luck!
E.

I could have written this 18 years ago. My kids were almost the same age difference as your's and my only girl was in the middle also. My youngest seemed to have more outbursts then the older two. He and my daughter was very very close all through their lives. I remember when Jordan was around your son's age and I would hear him yell "Shut up" and I would get after him because I don't like "shut up". Then one morning, Jordan was out in the kitchen eating breakfast and he was doing great. Jarrod, my oldest came out of his room and I needed to tell him something so I followed him to the kitchen. He didn't know I was behind him so when he got to the kitchen, I heard a very quiet poke at his brother "You're a girl" Jordan screamed "Shut up!" at him and I realized that each time I got after Jordan, it was because he was reacting to something his brother was doing that I didn't realize. Jarrod got into trouble that morning and I learned that being the youngest is a hard spot because this older brother that you look up to is doing what big brothers do, pick on the youngest. I think sitting down some house rules and watching closer and listening helped a lot. Once the kids were grown men they were very close. We lost Jordan in an accident at age 22. Talk with your six year old and find out why he is having anger issues, not at a time when he is mad but maybe take him out to lunch or for a drive, just the two of you and find out what is going on. My best talks were one on one with the kids in the car where they are captive audiances.

It could very well be that your son's body is overloaded (or is insufficient) in key elements it needs to work. If the body is missing nutrients, it WILL show up as behavorial problems.

Take your son to a naturopathic doctor and have him tested for heavy metals (it is a very simple, 24-hr urine test). My daughter has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and used to have an unbelievable temper/anger issue, too. When she was 7 years old, I became very sick and started doctoring with alternative doctors. One of the tests they ran on me was a heavy metals test; I found out I had SEVERE heavy metal toxicity. After I did some research on the Internet and saw all of the effects/side effects of heavy metals in the human body--many of which my daughter exhibited--I began to wonder if her SPD wasn't caused--or at least a by-product--of heavy metals (we also discovered that both she and I have a genetic liver mutation that doesn't allow our bodies to detox correctly, making heavy metals accumulate in our bodies. That test was run by the Mayo Clinic.). I had her tested too.

You know what? Her report for SEVERE heavy metal toxicity was EVEN HIGHER than mine! And I was 40 years older than her!

She chelated 3-4 times, and the anger issues diminished so much, it was like having a new child in the house. We also switched over to all organic food, have reverse-osmosis water, eat farm-raised/pasture-fed meat, stay away from fast food and processed/prepackaged food as much as we humanly can, and we've been transitioning away from household/outdoor chemicals/pesticides/etc. to organic ingredients. We also discovered we have food allergies and intolerances and stay away from those foods as well.

Food--nutrition--really DOES impact everything about us, including our psychological welfare. My daughter also took some amino acids that helped "fill in" what her brain was missing; that also helped.

My daughter is now 11 years old, and I am so thankful I went through all that work when she was 7 years old. I can not imagine still having to deal with the fights and the screaming and the running away and hiding and the defiancy. I can't believe that I put up with it all for 7 years! Don't get me wrong; we're heading into the tween and teen years, and there will be some of that. But we can manage everything now, and my daughter has learned coping mechanisms to help her deal with and get through difficult situations.

It is likely that, for your son, it is a biological issue that needs to be addressed by a doctor (like a naturopath) who is trained in nutrition, toxins, and how the body responds to them and who has the training to help get the body detoxed and then rebuilt back up again (in lost or missing vitamins, minerals, amino acids, enzymes, etc.).

Helping your son now will pay off in big dividends later. He will learn better in school if he's able to concentrate, and you'll have better family relations and a better peace of mind.

Good luck!

We have a 5 year old boy and have been using Love and Logic parenting. It really works for us!

http://www.loveandlogic.com/ecom/c-79-featured-selections...

My son did these things also. We actually went to counseling for awhile, and these are some of the tips we got... And they do work, but it takes time and consistency, so things won't change right away.
When things are calm, give him a "quiet place" that you would like him to go to when he gets mad, and when he does go there when he gets mad, after everything else is taken care of tell him you are proud of him for following through with it.
If he knocks things over or makes messes in his anger, leave them. When he calms down, make him clean them up. Again, before this happens, explain that knocking things over is not a good thing to do when a person gets angry and that this will be his consequence for doing it.
If he is making loud noises when you are trying to talk to him, just say "I see you are not ready to listen right now. I will come back when you are. You need to stay in your quiet place until I come back and we talk." Walk away. Come back at regular intervals (length depends on how long it usually takes for him to calm down, 5 min, 10 min, etc) and keep trying.
It took some times for these things to work for my son, but they did. We even had to use some of these at school, such as the quiet place. But with consistency in all the places that he spent the most time and had the anger problems, his outbursts have stopped :)
Good luck! And know that with love it will all work out...