6 Week Leave..

Updated on November 10, 2006
C.D. asks from Louisville, KY
12 answers

Ok... my daughter is 6 weeks old and I am newly married and I was attending hair school and went on maternity leave! Well now is time for me to go back and I don't want to! My husband wants me to stay hom and so do I! If i quit I have to pay 5,000 back! I think my main problem is my mom! I don't want to disappoint her but my husband keeps saying I have to think about us as a family and make family choices! I don't know what to do! I really dont want to go back I just want to drop out but I guess I am scared my mom will be mad! I mean I am out on my own and an adult but she means everything to me! What should I do!!

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A.G.

answers from Lincoln on

Please stay at home with your baby! You will never, ever, not in a million years, ever regret it!!!! I understand the pressure of trying to please mom, but you are right. You are an adult. Handle your business. Pay back the $5000 and stay your buns home. Believe me, being home with your daughter is worth it!!!!

If your mom gets mad, so what! She'll get over it. If she doesn't, thats her own issue! I am surprised that she is not backing you up in wanting to stay home! Does she want you to put your 6 week old in daycare?

You want to be home. Your husband wants you to be home. If your daughter could talk, she would want you to be home. NO ONE ELSE'S OPINION MATTERS, NOT EVEN YOUR MOMS!

I say this as one who speaks from experience!!!!! The stress of trying to go to school, work, care for your baby, maintain a relationship with your husband and please your mom will eat you alive! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!

Just tell your mom--"You raised me right and you did what you thought was best for me! Now I am going to do the same for my daughter!" End of discussion.

:-) I got your back on this one! :-)

3 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

I agree with Annie also. the only consideration to going back would be if yall can afford as a family to pay the $5000 back. if yall can then by all means do it & stay home. you can never replace the lost years of their youth but you can always go back to school later on. I'm 29 & am putting nursing school on hold while I raise my kids. when they're in school full time then I'll go back again.

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J.R.

answers from Omaha on

I 100% agree with Annie, too!! Being a mom is the best and most awesome "job" and learning experience you could ever have. You, your husband and daughter will be so much happier knowing that she has the proper care and love that only her mommy can give. School can wait - It will always be there. My interaction and differences with my mom are hard sometimes too - I dread and hate to upset her or make her angry but I'm starting to learn that she accepts my choices when I explain to her why they are the best choices for us. I DREAM of being able to stay home with my little boy but finances won't allow it so I'm so happy for you that you have the option! Take advantage of it and have fun with that brand new beautiful baby girl!!

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M.A.

answers from Omaha on

If you can afford to pay back the $5000 and be a SAHM, then go for it. Your husband is right, your family should come first. But, if you are still in school, how long will it take you to finish? What if you at least finish school and then decide to quit and be a SAHM? Then, your mother should be happy that you finished, and later if you want to go back to doing hair than you at least have the schooling and will just need to attend some continuing ed courses. It will be so much easier in the long run. Also, once you get your license, you could even do hair on the side for extra cash. If your life style and family permit, I would encourage you to at least finish and get your license...then do what your family needs you to do. Either way, it is your decision, not your mother's, though I know it is hard when mother's are involved. Whatever you decide.....good luck!!

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R.F.

answers from Evansville on

If you can afford to stay home, your husband is encouraging it and you want to do it then by all means go for it. Do what feels right to you, don't worry about what other people will say. I'm sure your mom will understand your choice in the long run. Just tell her you don't want to miss out on your daughter growing up. She'll only be young once.

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J.P.

answers from Wheeling on

IF YOU WANT TO STAY AT HOME WITH YOUR BABY AND CAN FINANCIALLY, THEN GO FOR IT. THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN BEING ABLE TO BE THERE FOR EVERY LITTLE THING....ATLEAST I THINK SO ANYWAY.

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A.B.

answers from Lincoln on

C.
I think that your husband is right maybe now is not the time to go back to work. And if your mom doesn't understand that it's ok. You need to make the choice that is right for you and your family. If you go back will you put everything you have in to it? IF not then is it really worth it

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R.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

Learning that you can't always do what your mom wants is a hard lesson but an important one. You have reached a point in your life where you have to live your own life and do whats right for your family. Your baby needs her mommy. It took me too long to learn this lesson and my little girls health suffered for it.

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L.B.

answers from South Bend on

I agree totally with Annie!!!!

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M.E.

answers from Lexington on

I can understand about not wanting to disappoint your mom, but you have to make decisions about what is best for ou and your new family...not what makes your mom happy. if you want to stay home and you and your hubby can manage it, then do so. I would give anything to be able to stay home with my baby, but we just can't afford it. and who knows...once the baby is a little older, you might decide to go back to school. I'm a hairdresser too and i love it. your hours will carry over, if decide to go back later on...just get a written statement from uo school and hang on to them.

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

If you finish school then you are thinking about your family. things will be so much better for you and your family once you finish, and you have to think that in the long run if yu drop out you will lose a lot more than that $5000. I quit school and I am REALLY regretting it. I have TONS of school bills and nothing to show for it. Once you get back out there, it won't be as hard to leave your baby.

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C.W.

answers from Louisville on

Hi, well, I am a mom and I am just now going back to school after years and years of putting it off. I know what your mom will say, because my mom said the same thing too. They hated for me to drop out of college.

Just look at your reasons for staying in school or staying at home with the baby. It seems like you would just stay in school so that your mom will be happy and you don't have to pay back the money. Well, daycare is very expensive. Possibly more than $5000 in 6 months depending on where you live. So you'd probably end up saving more money staying at home. But if you really want to finish school then you should. Education is VERY important and you would help your family in the long run too. Either way I think you should make the decision that would be the best for you, your child and your husband. Not your mom. She'll eventually understand. Just because you became a mom doesn't mean that she isn't anymore. She still has your best interest at heart and I think that if you sit down with her and tell her your reasons for quitting, it will put her at ease. But ultimately this is your decision that shouldn't be dictated by anyone else.

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