6 Months Pregnant & Grandmother in Another State Is Dying

My grandmother also passed away when I was 6 months pregnant with my first. I took two planes and 5 hours each way. You should be fine to go as long as your doc/midwife approves.

Make sure though that you have a wonderful support system (even if you don't go). Your reaction may not be what you expect and having people who love you around is so important. My husband was out of town when my grandmother passed and I got so upset when I found out (I was driving to the hospital to see her) that I had to stop because I was shaking and my arms got tingly and then numb. I was able to calm down because I was worried about the baby and I didn't get upset again after that but when things settled down after the birth and everything it became apparent I hadn't dealt with the grief and had to deal with it 6 months after the fact.

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Well, first of all, are you truly "high risk"? Some pregnancy books will tell you if you're over 35, you're considered "high risk" and that's actually not true! I had babies at 36 and 38 -entirely normal pregnancies and much less "riskier" that much younger friends of mine. I would have thought nothing of traveling anywhere at 6 months -flying or driving and I did fly to Oklahoma and back and at 8 months drove 6 hours to the beach for a week (talk about the ultimate "beached whale" experience...). Unless you've been put on bed rest or specifically told not to take long car trips by your doctor, there's no reason not to go to the funeral. If you're taking that car trip -make extra stops (you'll have to anyway to pee) and stretch your legs, rotate your feet, shake your arms out and walk around.

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I dont think a 5 hour car ride would be too stressful. I think you should go. Sorry for your loss.

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i don't think it will be a problem. you will need frequent restroom breaks anyway so can take the time to walk around a bit. you're not very old at all, and your check-ups indicate good health.
i'm sorry about your grandmother. that's so hard.
khairete
S.

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Sorry to hear about your grandmother. I don't think the travel should be a problem at this point. If you have doubts, check with your ob.

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I think you owe it to yourself to go. I delivered at 39, and had I been in your situation, I would have gone to see my gram again before she died.

For closure, it's important to see your gram and talk to her. Tell her you love her, thank her for being your grandmother and tell her you will be OK without her. This will bring you unmatched peace in the days and months following her death. It's OK, even if you think she cannot hear you. She can.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Grandmothers are so special :)

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I am a midwife. You are not high risk due to age. That is so ridiculous. Don't buy into that. You are healthy, your baby is healthy. You will be fine traveling to see your grandmother and go to the funeral. Just keep hydrated and take frequent breaks to walk around for a minute or so.

Take Care,
L.

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The car ride should not be a risk issue, unless of course the weather is questionable. When i was 7 months pregnant with #1 I took a 7 hour car trip and was fine. So, if that is the only thing holding you back....then go.

Remember, you need to do what you need to do. If you feel comforatable and content that you have said your "gopod-byes" to your grandmother and don't think that you will regret in the future not traveling to her funeral, then I don't think anyone would think ill of you for not going. But, it has to be for yourself...not anyone else.

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I'm sorry about your grandmother. I'm sure that she would have been so happy to have lived long enough to have seen the baby.

Your doctor would have already told you if you shouldn't travel. There's nothing wrong with the car ride, really. Stop often to go to the bathroom and drink water throughout the trip. That's what's important. You want to hydrate often, even not being in the car. (The uterus is a smooth muscle tissue and dehydration can cause pre-term labor. A full bladder pushes against the uterus and can also cause pre-term labor. So drink and pee, drink and pee.)

Seeing the rest of the family, if you all have a good relationship, will help everyone feel better - just something about a new life on the way as an old life says goodbye.

Rest while you're there like you would at home. They will all be so glad to see you.

D.

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Is grandma coherent? She might appreciate the visit. Unless you are having complications, cramping, bleeding, premature labor etc.....I don't see why you shouldn't attend the funeral unless it will put undue stress emmotionally on you and baby.

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It's so funny to me that a 37 y/o is considered high risk! Anyway, if you really want to go to the funeral, then go, b/c I am not worried at all about you and your baby's health. However, if you just don't feel like making the drive (5 hours in a car will probably be uncomfortable for you), then don't go. If you are looking for an "out," you definately have one, so none of your family should get pissed at you. But besides being uncomfortable in a car for 5 hours, I think you are perfectly healthy to go! Also - someone made a good point - if your grandma is coherent and will know who you are, I'm sure she would LOVE a visit from you before she dies.

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I'm currently pregnant with my second baby, and my OB says absolutely no traveling (more than 1 hour away) after 36 weeks pregnant. I would discuss it with your doctor before making travel arrangements.

I am very sorry about your grandmother.
I think that you should call your doctor to make sure he/she does not have any objections to you traveling. If not, then go to the funeral because the stress of not attending, saying your goodbyes and not being there for your family will most likely be greater then any stress you might have from attending.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandmother.

10 years ago I drove 14hrs one way and then flew from Oakland to Phoenix when I was 7mos pregnant with my first. I asked my OB and he said that it was OK. I would ask your OB what they think since they know your situation the best.

Most of the time dr's advise travel when your 8 months or further, since your 6 months and have no issues with your pregnancy so far you should be able to travel.

Call your doctor's office to be sure, but I wouldn't think it would be a problem.

This is really something you have to talk to your Dr or Midwife about. Ask them directly whether it is safe to travel and please heed their advice. I was 35+ with my third child when I traveled at 28 wks to my parent's 50th anniversary party. Glad I could go, but let it was no picnic. I have healthy uncomplicated pregnancies, however, when I got home from my ankles were swollen for days and I felt like I had been run over by a Mack truck. It's hard on your body to travel. Risk of dehydration and stress (which can start those contractions sometimes) and blood clots are real threats to both you and your pregnancy. Please do everything you can to protect your baby and carry that little one to term. Glad you so your grandma in December. I'm so sorry for your loss. R., nurse midwife mom of3

Dear mom, check with your doctor, but you should be fine. I traveled at 7 months last year to see my father-in-law before he passed. I got on a plane with a 4 year old, a 2 year old, a suitcase, 2 toddler car suits, and my belly all by myself. It's perfectly ok. You can run a marathon up until the last day, as long as you're having a good pregnancy, which it sounds like you are. Good luck.

Updated

Dear mom, check with your doctor, but you should be fine. I traveled at 7 months last year to see my father-in-law before he passed. I got on a plane with a 4 year old, a 2 year old, a suitcase, 2 toddler car seats, and my belly all by myself. It's perfectly ok. You can run a marathon up until the last day, as long as you're having a good pregnancy, which it sounds like you are. Good luck.

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother. Regarding the funeral, it is really up to what you feel comfortable with. You can certainly call your OB to doublecheck, but I would think the car ride would be okay. You just need to make sure to make frequent stops to stretch your legs.

While I haven't been in your situation, I did travel to Dallas from Chicago when I was 27 weeks pregnant with my twins (even higher risk than your pregnancy). I made sure my OB knew, asked if I was cleared to go, then went. So, discuss with your doctor if he thinks it's safe to go. If he clears you, make the trip and go.

I was at market for 2 whole weeks and flew home the week before I gave birth.. I even sat backwards on the plane it was so crowded..

As long as you are not having a high risk pregnancy, you can do all sorts of things.

Go! You'll be fine.....You're 37 and pregnant, as am I, you're not 97. I'd be more afraid of what the stress and guilt of not going will do to your body.
Good Luck!

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma.

My brother lives 4.5 hours away. I went to go see him when I was 32 weeks pregnant. My doctor said it was absolutely fine, but that he wanted me to stop every hour or so and get out to walk around.

Talk to your doctor. They will understand the severity of the situation and provide you with the answer they think is best.

Ask your OB. If he/she gives the OK, go. If so, make sure you get info on hospitals along the way just in case. If it happens soon, I would go....if you are within weeks of your due date, probably not. I know- it is not a great situation :( Best wishes and sorry about your grandma.

I would say go, but talk to your OBGYN before going and get a referral for a hospital/doc before you go. Better be safe than sorry, I did the same when I flew to CA to visit family for a fun get away when I was 7mo preg ... talked to my doc about it, got a referral for hosp/doc just in case and had a good time. I understand this is not exactly a happy event but I think you will be okay.

I was 37 when I had my second child and I traveled 12 hours to CA twice during my pregnancy. I do not see a problem with it unless you have complications where the doctor tells you not to travel anymore. I would talk with your OB and see if they have suggestions for you. I traveled in December and had my baby in February and was completely healthy. I did clear the trip through talking to my OB first though. Take care and don't worry so much.

D. P.