November 02, 2006,
K.N. asks from Maple Lake, MN on November 01, 2006
6 Month Old Who Only Wants Mommy!
My 6 month old daughter has started crying for me when I put her down or leave the room. She is usually fine until she sees me, but once she sees me she wants me to hold her. This has just started over the past few days. It has been really upsetting my husband. He picked her up from daycare the other day (which I usually do) and said that he could tell she was sad that it wasn't me picking her up. There have also been a few instances in which he was holding her and crying and she stopped crying the moment I took her from him. She will also reach towards me when someone else is holding her. Has anyone else had experience with this? I know my husband is feeling like Haley doesn't love him as much as me. I told him it's probably just a phase and that maybe he needs to spend more time doing normal everyday things with her. He does spend time with her, but I do the majority of bathing, dressing, feeding, etc. I am also breastfeeding her and that probably strengthens the bond between us. Any ideas on what I can do?
C.A. answers from Minneapolis on November 01, 2006
It is normal for kids to change their allegiance. You might want to have Daddy do bathtime and take a more active role in her care. It's great bonding time for them and it gives you a little time to yourself.
J.G. answers from Minneapolis on November 01, 2006
I agree with what other moms said below. I'm dealing with one right now and my little boy is 13 months old....Based on my experience with my older daughter and other children, it really is a phase that will go away eventually. (There's an end to this! Cheer up!)As for your husband, I think he just needs to understand it's rather normal for such a young baby to look for her mommy more than daddy. I mean that's the most natual thing in the world! Then the phase will pass, some day the young one may just want to talk to her daddy, you'll never know! :)
A.L. answers from Green Bay on November 02, 2006
If your husband has her, he needs to relax... they CAN tell when someone is tense. Also, there is no reason why a baby can't cry a bit. He should try different ways to hold her and ways to soothe her. He will find something that works for him (and it wont work for you!!) It will pass I promise! Our second son was a complete mommy's boy and my husband just had to learn his own way to deal with him. We did not give him a choice, sometimes I just had to "disapear" whether it be a shower or a trip out of the house.
Our 15 month old is a total daddy's boy (finally, someone that does not want me ALL the time!!) so, it could swing a differnt way too. He is always excited to see daddy when he comes home from work.
Good luck. Just take a deep breath (you know, I always say, I never used Lamaze breathing for labor but I surely use it now with all of my children.)
T.S. answers from Minneapolis on November 01, 2006
This sounds like a phase to me. Your little one will go through several of these. Sometimes all she'll want is mommy and sometimes all she'll want is daddy. Although, I do suggest your husband start sharing in the everyday things. If nothing else, he might feel more involved.
P.K. answers from Minneapolis on November 01, 2006
This is totally normal. All my mom friends say this is common,...even without breastfeeding. There is just a thing between Mom's and their kids that I don't know ever goes away. It's just the way it is. My husband always feels 2nd, and is still learning to deal with it, but...it's also something you have to overcome too. Not getting as much down time as your husband, and, dealing with your husband's pity parties and time to take care of your daughter needs. :) Welcome to being a MOM! It's just different for moms, than for dads. Good luck finding a peaceful balance. It is hard.
M.K. answers from Duluth on November 01, 2006
:oD It is perfectly normal! I have had five kids and they've all chosen their favorites, although most often it was me, except my youngest daughter, it ws her father. My baby, now, he prefers mommy to all else, BUT, won't just snuggle with me like he will my husband. When I hold him close, he expects me to breastfeed. One boy I do daycare for clearly prefers his daddy to the point where he screams for mommy. Just let your husband know this is a normal, uncomfortable part of parenting and encourage him to keep doing things for her and with her, eventually she should come out of it on her own.