5 Year Old Wants Out of a 5 Point Harness Seat

If you search for 'booster seat crash test' and 'five point harness crash test' on youtube, therea are tons of crash test video's.
They aren't graphic, but they get the point across. They are crash test video's with crash test dummies. My 8yr old has watched them and it was HIS choice to remain in a 5pt harness car seat up until a few months ago, he's not in a hig hback booster and will be for quite some time. He's 8yrs old, 52" tall and 60lbs.

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it's great that you are trying to give your child reasons, etc. however, there comes a point where you're the mother, he's the child, this is how it's gonna be, don't ask about it again. and for what it's worth, i fully agree with you, but i'm even more "mean". my son rode in a 5pt harness until his 7th bday, halfway through 1st grade! his best friend carpooled with us(in a booster seat provided by his mother), he never made fun of my son or said anything to the other kids at school, etc. my son never complained b/c he WAS in a major accident at 4yo, the minivan was run off the interstate at about 75mph by an 18 wheeler - went down an embankment - rolled nose over tail and sideways several times. he KNOWS that he and his little brother were safe(literally not even scratched) in that accident b/c of their carseats(britax boulevard at the time). we got new carseats after that accident, another boulevard for the little one(18 months at the time), and a britax regent for my then 4yo - he could still fit in that seat NOW at 7.5 years of age, but my now 4.5yo rides in it - he will be in it until he is 7. anyways, my kids know that it's about safety, and that it is the way it is, don't whine about it.

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If the height of the harness slot is below the level of your son's shoulders then he is too tall for the seat and 5 point harness or no you are not doing what is best for your son. If however the slot for the strap is above your son's shoulders then the seat you have it the best one for him. Once his shoulders are above the strap slot then you are risking injury by keeping him in a seat that is too small for him and its no longer safe to keep him in it even if it is a 5 point harness. Get out the owner's manual and check their recommendation There are seats that are designed to convert to a booster that offer extra protection and are designed to fit larger children but a lot of seats are designed for children weighing less then 30-40 lbs. Again check your owners manual if not the manufacturers website. Your son is right on the cusp both weight and height wise. Don't assume your seat is safe because it has a 5 point harness.

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Edited to add:

I live in Florida. I rec'd a private message from a concerned mother/car seat safety techie who told me it was "illegal to allow my child to NOT be in a car seat until 8". That's NOT the law here in Florida nor was it the law in North Carolina when I lived there. .

I have a little six year old. She weighs 35 pounds and is fairly tall. I still make her ride in a booster seat (with the tall back) and seatbelt in MY vehicle. She moans and groans about it whenever her friends are in the car with us ... but most of them are much more substantial in size and they ask all the time why she still rides in it. I tell them "my car, my rules" and it seems to work as an "END OF DISCUSSION" indicator. I don't apologize to her either, like I have heard other parents do. However, in her dad's car, she is able to sit in the backseat with her feet touching the ground and her body lined up in the seat so the belt works properly, so she forgos the booster (as of this month) in it. My car is a SUV and she can't reach the floor quite to my satisfaction ... so she stays status quo! She will be seven at the end of July.

I would say NO to the video, only because it would be terrifying for them as they can't rationalize situations like we can ... I know my daughter would flip out over seeing something like that!

I say rock on mom and keep on doing whatever you can to make your kiddos safe!

1 mom found this helpful

This is extremely common at this age. Once he's in kindergarten, you'll find the majority of kids are in boosters, so he's going to encounter the baby seat comments for a while.

Personally, I wouldn't show a graphic video to a young child. If you want him to stay in the harness seat, then put your foot down and that's it. You don't have to make a case to a five-year-old. It's entirely your call.

1 mom found this helpful

my 6 1/2 half year old is in a 5 pt harness but by fall she will have to be in a high back booster because of height i am sad, if we had more money i would buy the frontier and keep her harnessed even longer, she sleep better on the car rides, we are often in the car for more than an hour

There are some things that can not be negociated in our house....5 point harness ( till my kids can drive :)) is one of them. It is sad that kids are making fun of him....talk to the childcare provider.
Our oldest son is also 5, but he is 50lb and 49". He just outgrew his car seat and we are getting him Britax Fronteir 85.
I would not show my son anything, I am a mom and I know what is better in this situation. Period.

I have seen this video. It is well done and well intended. As long as you are there with you child and allow him to discuss his feelings about it and be supportive, I think it is a good thing to do. Let him know how important he is to you, and that you do not what what happened to Kyle to happen to him and a way to keep him safe is by staying in a 5point harness system until he is bigger.

I also like BeckyW.'s idea.

Remember, you are the mother, he is the child and you do have final word. sometimes when my son whines that someone else's parents do xyz, I remind my son that I am not responsible for the other child, I am responsible for my son...and that is that.

I don't know that I would show him the video...first off the child was like 3 so it won't make a good comparison and I know my 6 year old would be very scared about getting in an accident after seeing something like that. My boy is newly 6. I do let him ride in a booster. I switched him shortly after his 5th birthday. I am often tempted to go back to the 5 pt seat we have cause it does harness up to 65 lbs....but at 5 years and 45 lbs he seemed mature enough ...he sits still for the most part. Doesn't try to get out of the seat or reach down for things etc. I am a car seat safety tech and it is perfectly fine for them to be in a booster at this age. He meets the requirements for a booster (now if you were talking about a 2-3 year old I would feel differently). I think personally you also have to judge the maturity of a child to see if they are going to sit properly in a booster as well.

The law in IL is that they must be in a "proper child restraint" up to 8 and 80 lbs. This means they must fit the requirements of the carseat they are in. Most boosters have a very low min weight limit and alot of parents put their children in them VERY young when they are around 35 or 40 lbs....this is still technically legal. But you are completely right that the harness gives him the best protection. But most kids this age are in boosters. I am not saying this is a reason to switch him but just something you should be aware of.

I think that if this is the way you want him to stay you just need to put your foot down and be the adult and say that this is the way it's going to be. Showing him crash test videos would be good. Maybe even if you can find something to show him that race car drivers wear 5 point harnesses. At some point you just have to say "I'm the Mom, and I say this is what is going to happen." You can explain to him the reasons etc but to a child it is much more important that the other kids don't tease him because that happens everyday to him directly....the reality of an accident is not something he thinks about. And there isn't much you can do about either of those situations. Just say this is how it's going to be. If you want you can give him information/education but a child is not mature and it may not mean much to him. He's gonna just have to learn to trust you on this one.

And Stephanie below is completely off. A 6 year old riding without a booster is completely not ok......and even less so because of her low weight.

Tell him you're going to take him to visit the official car seat checker.
Visit www.seatcheck.org and find a local, FREE inspector in your area. Tell him you'll have to both agree to what they say.
This is only the beginning of him having to trust your decisions regarding a lot of different matters....

I have a 6 1/2 year old and he is still in a 5pt harness. I agree with the previous moms about it being your call about the video, but you're the mom.

I tell my son that its the law (Illinois is 8 AND 80 lbs). He has friends who are only in a booster and something was said once while they were in my suv and I said that he was safe in this seat and nobody every said anything about it again. He has friends who ride in the FRONT SEAT of their parents cars and he has seen that and asks why their parents "don't keep them safe" and I just say that the law is "age 8 and 80lbs" and right now, his 5pt harness will keep him the safest.

Educate your son as to WHY he is in the 5pt harness so even IF someone says something to him, he can respond with the fact that he will be safe in the car if something happens.

Kids are going to find all sorts of reasons to make fun of each other and as long as we, as parents, can help them deal with people saying things to possibly hurt their feelings.

I commend you for sticking to your guns with this. I would check out the youtube crash test dummy tests...I imagine that those would be so much less graphic. I have heard about the link that you posted and I cannot bring myself to watch it.

Best of luck!