March 29, 2007,
H.H. asks from Watertown, NY on March 27, 2007
5 Year Old Started Peeing and Pooping Everywhere
My sister is staying with me for awhile, she's been here for about two weeks. A few days after she got here her 5 year old daughter started peeing and pooping everywhere in my daughters room. Its not just accidents in bed or anything, she is pulling down her pants peeing on toys, pooping in drawers, on the floor in the closet EVERWHERE!! . using the room like a litter box. She’s been potty trained for almost three years now. I don’t understand why she is doing this. I'm at my whit’s end and done everything I can think of, my sister has too. Please can anyone give us any advice on how to stop her from doing this, or any ideas as to why she started. We‘ve asked her why and all she says is I don‘t know. I do know we need to stop her ASAP, I don't want my children starting to do things like this. . It took me a year and a half to train my daughter on the potty, if she sees her older cousin pooping and peeing everywhere she is going to think its ok for her to do it as well. Please please help!!
My sister is just staying with me temporarily. She moved from WI to Newfoundland in Dec. They needed to work some of the paper work for her visa out so she came back to stay with me till May. My nieces’ step dad did stay there to finish getting things set up for them on his end. I'm sure it does have a lot to do with all of the life changing events, and I understand how hard changes like that can be. I am a soldiers wife after all lol. Even if it is acting out because she is not happy with the changes in her life, the behavior is not acceptable, its not ok. My sister and I have tried to talk to her about her feelings, take away privileges, punish her,we've tried to reward her when she didn't do it, we even tried having her talk with her dad on the web cam and mic and nothing seems to work.
J.W. answers from Jamestown on March 28, 2007
I guess I would look at why your sister moved in with you. Was there a divorce or break-up with the five year olds father? There must have been a significant reason for the move. Look at the reason and you probably have the answer to "why". Children react to things they have no control over by taking charge of what they can control.. like where to relieve yourself. Have the little girl checked out by a pediatrition. He will probably recommend a good counselor who can give you behavior modification techniques to use.
In the mean time you might try giving her little things to make choices about. Tell her that big girls who use the potty get to choose what to have for lunch or which playground to go to or what stories to read. (just examples). Try not to give a huge reaction when she does pee or poop on the floor (easy to say, huh?). When you do it just feeds into her feeling of controling the situation. Clean it up and reinforce how you wish she had gone in the potty so she could have chosen "what book to read ",but maybe she will next time so she can choose what "snack to have" etc... giving her a little power in simple things and downplaying the negitive might help.
2 moms found this helpful
M.S. answers from Cumberland on March 28, 2007
I know this sounds obnoxious, and I don't mean it to be, but have you tried punishing her?? Five years is old enough to understand consequences.
S.P. answers from Scranton on March 28, 2007
What is their situation. You didn't really give any information about them, and why they are staying with you. What is their life normally like? It seems like she is acting out for some reason. Maybe the move is traumatizing to her.
L.M. answers from New London on March 28, 2007
i would try takeing things she likes away she is old enought to understand why you are doing this and was ther a termatick even t in her life and if so i would try talking to a councler about this to see what they have to say. my oldest did some thing simmilar when his dad and i left each other but he would only do it out side in fornt of every one. and i know what you mean about beeing marreid to a solider i am married to a sailor.
T.D. answers from Burlington on March 29, 2007
I can't really offer advice,just know that you are not alone.
My step-daughter pees anywhere she wants to,whenever asked why all she says is because she had to,so then I ask why didn't you use the toilet and all she can say is, I had to go pee.
I am so frustrated I could rip my hair out. I could use advice on this matter to PLEASE....
A little about me:
I am a 31 year old mother of 2 my son is 5,my daughter just turned 7. My step-daughter just turned 5 and she is the one who pees everywhere. I also have 2 step-sons that are 13 and 14..
D.W. answers from Albany on March 28, 2007
I have not expericened anything to this degree of a child not coping with strong emtions. You are right this is bad behavior and should not be tolerated to any degree. As far as your own children it needs to be explained that this is not how we behave. I am currently reading a book it is called "How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will, Too" this explaines about preschoolers and some of the things they expericen and the best way to deal with them. Always remember keep it positive when dealing with children and they will go far in this life. Happy reading and close the door to the bedroom all the doors ecept the bathroom if need be.