5 Year Old Refuses to Wipe Herself After Pooping

Updated on July 28, 2012
T.K. asks from Alexandria, KY
7 answers

My daughter is 5 years old and she starts Kindergarten in just a couple of weeks. I've been working with her on wiping her self after she poops but she refuses to do it. She wipes just fine when she pees. But says she can't do it when she poops. I told her she has to Starr doing it herself because at school they cannot do it for her. What can I do to get her to start wiping herself?

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Gave my son wet flushable wipes and a mirror to see he is doing a good job ... we are good to go! Good Luck.

We did this at 4 and he is a good wiper. We got a large mirror that could stand on it's own OR you could get one that can hang on the wall - by school they should be comfortable with the process.

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R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Make sure she has access to the toilet paper and walk away. If you are there in the room with her or close by she feels she has you to do it. Busy yourself and make yourself unavailable to do it. Let her scream, cry, throw a tantrum, but stand firm and tell her she needs to do it herself. Since rewards sometimes work for potty training, and wiping IS part of being potty trained, maybe set up a little reward for her, say, she wipes on her own without asking/demanding you to do it for the next couple of weeks and you'll take her out for a new something for being a big girl? (It could be a new backpack for school or something she needs.) After doing it on her own the next few weeks it will be a habit, in time for school.

My guy turned 3 in April, potty trained a year ago, and I have had him wiping since he first started using the potty. This was all in preparation for preschool, which he starts in about a month. He needs to be completely potty trained, the adults cannot help him (and I'm glad for that!) He has improved all along the way, honestly he does a great job, he doesn't even want me to help (but I still check) ツ

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Mine was reluctant too.
Even at 5, they can need some help "batting cleanup"! LOL
Flushable wipes help, but they might not have them available at school.
Set a date & declare it her "Independence Day"! Make it a big deal.
Odds are, she might not have to poop at school.
But if she does, she'll have no choice but to TCB...
Kindergarten teachers are very used to this issue as well.

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B.E.

answers from New York on

Similar problem with my 5-year old son - must be a 5-year old thing! Right now I let him use wipes after pooping rather than toilet paper (much easier, though I've had to teach him to wrap the wipes in toilet paper and throw them in the garbage since they can't go in the toilet) and we currently agree that he always does the first wipe and I'll handle any after that, if necessary. I told him once he turns 6 (in November) he has to be able to do all wiping by himself. Drives me crazy, but I know he just wants to be clean.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

It's not a matter of "refusing" but not being great at it. It's awkward. It's uncomfortable. A lot of children don't master it until they're close to 7 years old. It's going to take practice on her part and patience on yours.

I wouldn't worry about the preschool teachers not being able to do it for her because either they'll do it, or your daughter will wait to poop until she's at home. My daughters hate to poop at school and always have, so they saved it up for home even when at preschool except on the rare occasion.

My point here is not to treat this as an extremely urgent matter. If you do, she could end up regressing a bit with toileting or have toileting anxiety.

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A.W.

answers from Toledo on

Oh, you have just described by daughter at that age!! She did the exact same thing. We just kept at her, encouraging her to try, and eventually she did it. We also made it very clear that if she poops at kindergarten she would have to wipe herself. When she went to kindergarten she always went at home, lol, still doesn't go at school! We also had her wipe first and then let us check her, which reallyl helped her confidence. I don't know why she was so against it, but she got out of it and is a proficient wiper at the age of 8! Good luck - I know it is very frustrating!!

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T.K.

answers from Cincinnati on

Thank u ladies for responding! I'm just not sure on how I'm going to go about it. If I don't go in there right away when she's done she will just sit there and wait. Sometimes ill be busy doin dishes or something and she needs me to wipe and she will sit there the entire time yelling "Mom, I'm done!" Over and over until I finally go in there. Kindergarten teachers really not even allowed in the stall with them they are not allowed to help with wiping. If they needed help with pulling pants up or something they will do that. But cannot help with wiping at all. We have until August 15th to get her to do it herself.

Updated

Thank u ladies for responding! I'm just not sure on how I'm going to go about it. If I don't go in there right away when she's done she will just sit there and wait. Sometimes ill be busy doin dishes or something and she needs me to wipe and she will sit there the entire time yelling "Mom, I'm done!" Over and over until I finally go in there. Kindergarten teachers really not even allowed in the stall with them they are not allowed to help with wiping. If they needed help with pulling pants up or something they will do that. But cannot help with wiping at all. We have until August 15th to get her to do it herself. Also she has had major constipation problems in the past so I never want her to hold back if she has to go. She did pull that one on me too lol she said "I just wont poop at school" and that's not good. I never thought this would be so hard to teach her. I'm sureshe will catch on and start doing it soon, but id like it to be before school starts.

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