5 Year Old in Trouble!

Please take her to doctor and then go have her hearing checked with ENT dr, also take her to a behavior thearpist. Buy the book on changing behavior in children such as 1-2-3-Magic. Great book and it is short read with great results.I had simlar problems with my grandaughter in K_5 . Try these steps first before you decide on putting her on any meds.I realize that is probably what the school would like to see.If you are in the Charleston,SC area i would love to recommend a behavior thearpist as she was wonderful for my grandaughter.God Bless

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It seems like you are doing your best. I haven't went through this type situation except I have problem with a teacher for my ADHD child in kindergarten and i just took him out of school, moved and the following year set him to kindergarten at age 6 hoping he could handle it better...he did with the help of some medication. I'd say start with your doctor and maybe talk with your doctor about a developmental ped dr we had one and she was a great help. I am so sorry your are having this situation to deal with. I also have a spouse with BP he takes meds and it under control for about 4 years now. We are still together but I know where you are coming from. I will keep you in my thoughts. As far as sugar or a medical condition it's possible but maybe it's the situation at hoem and maybe she needs to find a way to vent and this is they way she knows how....I don't know but it's always a good idea to see if it medical but something is sure going on in her mind about all of this a great place to start is with your doctor but if you don't get answers you want and they leave you hanging don't just stop or give up...you are her advocate and she needs you right now.

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How are you disciplining your daughter? You have got to find a system that works for both of you--for you in that you will absolutely follow through with punishment and for her it really has to be something that she likes to do that you have to take away.

There have to be consequences. She will figure out not to do something, because every time that she does it she does not get to watch television, or her favorite doll is gone---try something called "Love and Logic" the authors are Foster W. Cline and Jim Fay. There are MANY books that they have written on this. They are great. It is all about picking your battles--I would say that behavior is ABSOLUTELY one of them!

I know that you love your child, it is your responsibility as her parent to make sure that she is "socially acceptable"; that she is pleasant for others to be around. That is clearly not happening for her. She will not have friends and the teachers will eventually give up. It all falls on you as a single parent and it is hard. But you do not have a choice.
I am sorry for your situation, but you are catching it early, and it is not too late!
Chris

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You are doing the right thing to take her to the doctor and meet with her teacher. Be patient it may take a long time to figure things out. There are a lot of different reasons that this may be occurring both physical and psychological. It sounds like the teacher is willing to work with you. Make a list of concerns before you go to the doctor such as the blood sugar, possibility of food allergies, etc. It is a very long process. Try to be patient and work with the teacher she also has your daughter's best interest at heart. Good Luck!

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If her father is BP she could be too Early onset Bipolar disorder.There are alot of ADHD type symptoms with bipolar .Ask your Ped about your concern.You could see a physciatrist just to be safe.I had Nigel my now 11 yr old evaluated once I noticed symptoms at 5.I didn't want it to get out of hand or him lose time having issues to set him back in school.Dr Arnold Negrin is wonderful. ###-###-#### BP is genetic though.I have it too but I adopted Nigel.

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M., i remember your last post. GOD be with you. I'm sure you know BP disorder is heriditary. PLEASE have her evaluated now. My ex-husband BP was and both children are. I have a friend whose 6 year old was just diagnosed. IF you'd like I can find out the name of their DR...

L.

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This is ALOT like my 5yo son who just started kindergarten. I'm glad I'm not alone! (He even makes up similar excuses like not liking the way a kid was drawing something.) We had a conference with his teacher about a month ago and she came up with a behavior chart that lists three behaviors (keeping hands to himself, listening/doing what he's told, not talking/distracting the teacher during reading time) and each day he gets "graded" on each behavior in the morning and the evening. He either gets a smiley face for good behavior, a straight face meaning he was first warned but then behaved, or a sad face for being warned and still not behaving. It he gets all six smiley faces in a day he gets to go straight to the "treasure box" and pick out a prize at school. Plus we reinforce positively at home. If he gets at least four smiley faces in a day, he still gets to place a checkmark on his chart at home and earns points to small prizes. And if he gets less than four smiley faces, then he doesn't get a check mark and he also doesn't get any tv or dessert after dinner.

So far, most days he gets four smiley faces, which is definitely an improvement. Though he had a really rough week last week which is disappointing. But I think this approach with positive reinforcement is very good. There are other things we are trying too (my mother-in-law happens to be a behavioral psychologist, so she has a lot of helpful ideas.)If you think this approach might work, I can always give you more details. It won't solve everything, but it's a step in the right direction. Good luck!

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Good Morning !

I do understand I went through the same thing w/my son. My not with the same things. We made it to 2nd grade then had him tested by many doctors they came back with ADHD/Depression but the bad thing in our case is no medicine has worked for him. Good Luck

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M.,
I am sorry to hear this is going on. How challenging for you and especially her. I do not have a guess at what is going on but I know someone who offers amazing coaching with families and helps them develop great resources to support whatever is goin on. His name is Dr. Michael Scimeca.
www.scimeca.com
Hope this supports you and your daughter.
Blessings,
S.

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M.,
My advice comes from my experience as a teacher of 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9 year olds. It sounds like your daughter is seeking any kind of attention she can get from the adults around her. Unfortunately, she is in a pattern of getting attention for her negative behavior. I think you can break the cycle and help her learn to get attention for her positive behavior.
Sit down with the teacher on Monday and let her know that you do not approve of this behavior and that you want to work with her to help your daughter make a change. Make a list of behaviors that you and the teacher want to see your daughter improve upon. Children have more success when they are working on two or three behaviors at a time. Choose one or two big ones like following directions the first time to start with. Come up with a behavior contract for her. The ones I used were quarter sheets of paper divided in half with a line. The top half represented the first half of the day, the bottom half the second half of the day. This way, the child has two opportunities to succeed! On each half write (your daughter's name) followed directions today. Underneath that write (your daughter's name) did not follow directions today. Do the same thing on the bottom half. This is a communication tool between you and the teacher. Talk with your daughter about following directions at school. Explain to her that it is important that all children in class learn to listen to their teacher so that they can learn and stay safe. Tell her that you and the teacher want to help her learn to follow direction so you came up with this contract. Ask her what she wants to get on her contract if she follows directions...a smiley face, star, or sticker (or whatever else you guys decide). Explain to her that if she follows directions in the morning her teacher will put a star on her contract...same for afternoon. She can bring the contract home at the end of every day to show you. You can also come up with some kind of reward at home to encourage the behavior. I suggest meeting with the teacher again in two weeks to check the progress...make adjustments...add a new behavior to the chart...etc.
Once your daughter is improving, you can start weaning off of the contract...give her a reward at home if she gets all stars all week long for example, increasing the amount of time as she improves. She will eventually not need the contract any more.
I hope this is helpful and makes sense...I have an eighteen month old that I am trying to watch, while I type, so it may be a little discombobulated...let me know if you need to know more...

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I'm not sure... glad you're talking to the doctor. Sounds like she's got a lot going on. Maybe she would benefit from seeing a child psychologist? He/She might be able to give you some insight into what is going on and how to handle it. Is there a school counselor that might be able to assist or point you in the right direction?

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M. sometimes kids don't get along with their teacher or some of the kids in their class but your daughter to be beyond that. I think it's a great idea to get advice from her pediatrician especially if it turns out to medical in nature.The Doctor can run tests to see if there is medication to help her.
You mentioned that her father has BP Disorder and that can be passed down. Do you have access to his records as a child? Are you on good terms with his family because they could probably answer alot of your questions. Does her Doctor know about your husband's condition?
Lastly,did your husband exhibit some of these behaviors before you separated? Maybe some of it is mimicing him. Or good old fashion anger at the situation that she doesn't really know how to express.
Maybe you can get a referral for a child Psychologist or counselor so you have someone to talk to since family is not an option for you. We all need some we can confide in especially when kids hit the scene! Hang in there and ask lots of questions when you see the Doctor!

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M.,
Sorry about all the problems you are having. As a mother of four , I know how difficult it can be dealing with behaviors and problems. It seems that you have a lot of good ideas coming your way, so sometimes you just have to keep looking into them until something clicks. You might even consider asking about some other possibilities- autism has a very broad spectrum and some of her behavioirs sound like they are in that range and another idea is Sensory Integration or Sensory Affective disorders. ADHD and all of these others as well as bipolar all can go hand in hand. It is quite overwhelming to think of the number of things that could be wrong but stay strong and know that you are the best advocate your child will ever have. I have said a prayer for you both.

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