S.D. asks from Fort Worth, TX on January 09, 2008
5 Year Old Girl's Mood Behavior
I apologize for the length, I just wanted everything out there for better advise.
Last night our 5yo daughter just cried all evening after we got home. I figured she was tired, hungry and just wanted extra cuddle time. She cried through her bath, ate pretty good and then everything was ok until bedtime. Then, of course, she didn't want to go to bed. The crying started again. I put her brother down while she lay in our bed and when I went in there to ask what was wrong she said she didn't know. I asked if she was sad? Yes. What are you sad about? I don't know. Are you mad? Yes. What are you mad about? Nothing. Then what's wrong? I don't know. So we cuddled more and she fell asleep. I say it was just tiredness. Now this morning she woke early and was in the best mood she has ever been in. Just real chirpy, smiling, talkative, etc.
She's usually not a morning person. The change was so drastic, her father even asked what's wrong with her? I said she's just in a good mood.
I guess after all that, I have to say depression runs in our family and I was just a little concerned. Is she too young to begin showing signs of depression? I tell her it is okay to cry and be upset. It's okay to show your feelings. I want her to be able to figure out why she feels the way she does and deal with it better than me and my family have in the past.
This past year she has begun to understand death. My husband's father passed 13 years ago, but she will cry her eyes out because she wants her papa in heaven. My grandmother passed in Sept. and she has done the same with her. She did it at school one day and the teacher had to take her outside and take a walk just to calm her down. Her emotion is so real and I don't know what to do when she does this. We tell her they are watching over her and would want her to be happy for them, not cry for them.
Anyway, I just want your thoughts and advice. Thank you so much.
More Answers
A.D. answers from Dallas on January 09, 2008
I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter who talks about death all the time. I think it is something new to them that they can't quite get a grip on the actual meaning of it. She too talks about her grandfather and great grandparents in heaven and will start weeping saying that she wants to see them. I think it is just a phase that will pass. We try to explain death to her in a non-scary way and to talk through her emotions but it is tough when they are this young for them to understand. Be patient and I am sure this will pass.
1 mom found this helpful
S.E. answers from Austin on January 13, 2008
Hello I am a mother of 3(9 girl,5 boy,9 mo boy) they are all born at home and I am a midwife. Is she in school? or do you home school? My daughter will be fine all day and at bed time she will start to cry and freak out. It usually turns out to be something that hurt her feelings during the day that seems to come out later in the evening. Shes just being 5! it is a very emotional time for a girl. Please dont label her as depressed yet. That may be true with your genetic history but it is also true of 5 year old girls! they seem to have the weight of the world on their shoulers, I was amazedat the influence of others around her at 5 and 6 years old. By the time she was 7 she had found more of "her self" ITS A MAGICAL AGE!!
Sam Evans LM CPM
E.Q. answers from Austin on February 06, 2008
Did she by any chance sleep with you all night and then woke up happy? If yes, then it has something to do with being alone or something to do with being in bed. You better check into this.
K.K. answers from Dallas on January 10, 2008
Your post could have been mine just a few months ago. My 5yo daughter came home from school just sobbing and couldn't tell me what was wrong. The rest of the evening went just as yours did...woke up the next day just fine. I was really worried the entire night, but thank goodness this hasn't happened again. Don't get me wrong, she is still moody and somewhat emotional, but she bounces right back and is her happy energetic self. We've also dealt a lot with questions about dying lately. I think 5 is just a hard age for girls. (maybe boys too, but I only have experience with girls at this age so far)
Anyway, I think they are becoming so much more aware of real vs fantasy. All I can say is just continue reassuring her and hopefully this is just a phase that will soon pass. There was a neat book I picked up last week at B&Noble called, Just in Case You Ever Wonder by Max Lucado...if you get a chance you should look at it.
L.A. answers from Dallas on January 09, 2008
Last night there was an excellent show on PBS called "The Medicated Child".
* watch it here: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/medicatedchild/?c...
They said that children as young as 2 and 3 years old are being heavily medicated and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. However, excessive studies have shown that medicine for depression do not work the same in children as adults and many Dr.s cocktail several meds together to experiment what may work with children.
Perhaps she is going through some struggles that she isn't talking about and may need to see a counselor, just to learn to cope with some emotions. I just said everything earlier in case you run into someone who wants to medicate your child without excersizing alternatize coping methods, or who diagnoses her with depression.
C.S. answers from Dallas on January 09, 2008
This would concern me too. You only describe one episode however and it could be a passing thing that needs to be addressed of course. Age five is the age that kids begin to conceptualize and it could be something as simple as a new concept that frightened her through a movie or story book or an adult conversation she overheard. See if you can determine what it is that has upset her through gentle conversation and reassure her whenever possible, but if this behavior continues, do not hesitate to seek medical help. Also I would suggest that our children pick up on the mindset of their caretakers often without hearing a thing. Your reference to "Papa in heaven" from a death so long ago suggests that it has been on the minds of adults who have somehow conveyed their saddness to this child. It may have been a bit too much too soon for her. If it passes, let it be.
C. S.
Email