13 answers

5 Year Old Girl Sassy Behavior

I have a sweet and normal little 5 year old girl who started kindergarten this year. Up until kindergarten she was a very well behaved, sweet little girl who listened well and acted lovingly toward everyone at home including her younger brother and all of her friends. She is very well mannered at school, listens well and is thriving there. However, at home she has begun to talk back, say no and at times screams at her little 3 year old brother and at me, my husband and her babysitter. She will say no, yell at us and behave like a rebellious teenager. If I say no she can't do something like watch TV when it is sunny out or have ice cream before dinner ..she wiill say yes I can and try to do it anyway completely ignoring me. It always ends in a battle and she winds up crying, I ask her to say she is sorry, she says she didn't mean it and then she and I both feel bad. I am sticking to my guns but it is very hard. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to nip this behavior n the bud and get our sweet, respectful, well behaved little girl back? I feel that I am constantly after her, and my husband has begun to lose his patience which does not help. I work, but I work at home only 4 days per week and I have a full time nanny who has been with us for 4 years who the kids love. She gets a lot of attention from all of us so I do not think that is the problem.

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No real suggestions, but know you are not alone. You could have described my daughter. I look forward to reading the responses. I hope we don't have to ride it out until after adolescence!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

No real suggestions, but know you are not alone. You could have described my daughter. I look forward to reading the responses. I hope we don't have to ride it out until after adolescence!

1 mom found this helpful

When my oldest daughter was in Kindergarten, her wonderful, wise, experienced teacher told me that she had to hold herself together all day during school. After all that, she just couldn't anymore once home and needed relief just to let loose. Thank goodness she told me with my 1st...made the 2nd easier and goodness know it's helping with my 4 year old....she's quite the little nut after school!

1 mom found this helpful

It sounds like you got some great advice already, but I still want to add one more thing. Is it possible that something is wrong at school? Maybe in class she's doing well, but what about socially? Is she REALLY happy with friends? Or, is something else going on? It sounds like you raised a wonderful girl and it sounds strange that she made such a drastic switch. Perhaps she's got something bothering her that she can't express. I would explore the area more. Best of luck.

This answer might seem a little off-base, but how much TV does she watch? My niece watches Hanna Montana and other kid's shows that portray children behaving badly, pouting when they don't get their way, sneaking things when their parents say "no" and overall doing whatever they want whenever they want with no repercussions that a 4-5 year old can understand. After I pointed this out to her mom, and we all started watching these shows, we talked about how such behavior wasn't acceptable in language the toddler could understand.

At this point we started paying attention to the popular kid's shows and what we saw horrified us. So, I'd recommend watching what your kids watch, not just for the entertainment, but to see what they are being taught. Are the shows teaching them its ok to laugh at someone when they are hurt? Are they teaching that its ok to take someone if nobody sees you? Are they teaching that its ok to lie to you, the parents? That its ok to talk back and throw tantrums?

Once we started actually watching the shows and talking about them, my niece's behavior started improving.

Good Luck.

Dont' battle with her, that undermines your authority. If she sasses you, make the consequence immediate, whether it's being marched to her room and put in pajamas for bed, or a swat on the bottom. I wouldn't explain or discuss with her. She knows better and I wouldn't even give a warning. How is she watching tv or having ice cream if you've said no? If she goes to the t.v., march her right up to bed. If she goes to the freezer, same thing. If her brother behaves well enough to have these things, then tell her she's confined to her room at his t..v time and let her see him get an ice cream after dinner. It's okay for her to cry, really. Being a parent is being an authority. If you have to ask her to say that she is sorry, then she very well may not be sorry. Getting an apology for bad behavior is not the key, giving a consequence for the behavior is. Sometimes being a parent means being the tough guy (or gal). If you're not showing her who is in charge now, in 10 years when she's my daughter's age, you will have big problems (like some of the parents of kids my daughter knows, whose high schoolers are just out of control) Good luck

OK--checking in with comparison to a boy here. My son was like that in K. He was an absolute angel at school and then would cut loose on us all evening. Ugh. This leads me to think it's not a mini PMS thing but an independence Kindergarten thing. They know better than to do it at school! LOL They are learning a LOT more than reading and coloring in Kindergarten!
What we did was implement some predictable consequences for his smart mouth and screaming.
If it's any consolation, my son is better this year than last year.

Mine is exactly that way--the teacher can't believe it, because she's so good at school. I think that they just try all the stuff that's on their mind/tempting/upsetting them at home. I just remind myself to stay steady and not take it personally. By staying steady, I mean sticking to the rules and not getting emotional. It doesn't go so well when I let her make me mad!

Good luck, I'll be checking back for more advice too!

How did my daughter get into your house?

They are testing boundaries and while it looks like they want to win the battle, really they don't. They want to know that you are in charge (and that you love them no matter what.) Just try not to let her get your goat, hard as it is, and don't give in on the important things, because if she wins a point she will just try to score another one so giving in doesn't help.

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