5 Year Old Collecting & Saving Everything!!!

Updated on December 03, 2008
M.L. asks from Midlothian, VA
19 answers

Hi ,I just want to know is this a normal phase for kids to go through. My daughter is 5 and about to turn 6 she just started Kindergarten this year. Since she started school or there abouts she has had trouble throwing away a lot of what I consider to be trash. I think a lot of it has to do with her fascination with words and learning to read. She wants to keep the words cut them out and keep them in a shoe box from anything from a cereal box to toy packaging ect. I think it's actually a creative way she has adapted to help practice reading and writing sight words. The problem is we have to draw a line somewhere.We can't let her keep unending amount of paper???? When we put our foots down and say no we are throwing that away she has a fit like a 3 year old !!! Help any suggestions!!! Thanks...

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much everyone that replied there were alot of great ideas!!! Most of all it was just nice to know there are other moms who are going through or have been through this before. I went to Target today and got a large PINK plastic box for her treasures, I also got a composition note book for her to create things with her words. I will be trying some of the other suggestions as the weeks go by I'm sure.LOL . Thanks again for all of your ideas!!!

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C.F.

answers from Washington DC on

The best approach I can suggest is to let her do it, but put a limit on it that she enforces on herself, or make it a learning activity.

If she's collecting words, I wouldn't go through and 'weed them out', because when she figures it out (and she will), you will lose her trust in you and that things at home are safe and waiting for her to get home.

So, two ideas:

1) Give a her a big shoebox or even a copy-paper box and some safety scissors. Tell her she can fill it up with words, but no more. When it gets full, she will need to go through it to weed out what she no longer wants. Emphasize that she can put anything in the box, but the box must be able to close, and that that is the only box she can use for this. Cover the box with plain paper (or wrapping paper) and let her decorate it and put it in a special place in her room/closet/etc. where she can get to it whenever she wants.

2) Take it another direction - buy her some composition notebooks (so the pages don't fall out) and some glue sticks and encourage her to cut out and then paste the words in there and do some artwork on each page (word=bird, draw a picture of a bird, etc.) As she gets older/more into reading, encourage her to string words together into sentences. She could use a couple of words she's found and then write in the connecting words to make a complete sentence. You'll end up with a bunch of books, but they will make for great memories, and are much easier to archive.

Hey, as habits go (and collecting), this one is pretty harmless. Mine picked up little rocks from the playground at preschool until she tried to bring home a bunch of them in her knapsack (like 15lbs worth!). That time, we had a conversation with the school director who let her know nicely that the rocks needed to stay on the playground for everyone...you get the idea. = )

Good luck!

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T.B.

answers from Norfolk on

I say let her do her thing. It is good that she is interested in words. A lot of kids don't show that much interest in learning to read. If she were my little girl, I would give her a notebook of some sort, be it a folder with paper in it, a spiral notebook, or composition books. Also give her a shoe box. Have her put her finds in the shoebox during the week. Then, on the weekend, you can set aside an hour for her to find her favorite words and put them in her book. Not only does she get to keep her "treasures" but she gets some mommy time too!

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K.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a 5 year-old also and he behaves the same way, so I guess a lot of it has to do with the age. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to deal with this with my son, so I don't have a solution for you. But,one idea that I've considered is to get a reasonable sized box or container and tell her that everything she collects must fit in the box. Once the box is filled, SHE can decide what new things can go in and what old things will come out (to be thrown out or recycled).

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S.M.

answers from Norfolk on

Absolutely normal. I had a conversation about it at my 4 year old's check up with the doc. We just let her decorate a shoe box and she upts all of her finds in there. I weed it out once a week when she is at school but she is always bringing in rocks, leaves, acorns, strings, you name it, she has it.

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K.F.

answers from Washington DC on

I agree with Anna and a few of the other moms - you can't let her keep everything...my daughter is very messy and I try to help her stay organized, but children need very clear direction. At times I will do a thorough cleaning and get rid of tons of things I know she won't remember or look for (old coloring pages and schoolwork, etc), but I do walk her through steps to organizing so she will learn. I can't just say 'clean up your room,' because she will think she has cleaned it, but it's still cluttered. So, I tell her she can only keep 5 (or whatever number I think is ok depending on what it is she is hording) at a time and then she has to decide if she wants to replace it with something else or keep it and get rid of the new thing....I explain to her that she doesn't need to keep things that can be replaced and that she can use it for a week or two and then she can upgrade to the new thing (so if it is words, she can practice those words with you or by herself, and then replace them with new words because she has already learned the old ones). That way she increases her vocabulary and learns how to organize - plus it's a great way to spend time together.

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E.V.

answers from Roanoke on

I think its pretty normal. At least what she is collecting is FREE! my 5 year old wants to get all of the toys from the happy meals if he likes them...he has to have the whole set! Some of this comes from me, because I wanted to get him some of the sets because they were cheaper than buying the toys in the stores (ninja turtles, etc)! But he also throws tantrums like your daughter when something doesn't go his way. He also has a 2 year old brother, and I think they try to get their way by acting like the younger sibling. Either that or its just an adjustment for them w/Kindergarten and they are learning to deal w/change! There are great plastic shoe boxes at dollar tree. Clear w/blue or white lids...those would be perfect for your daughters collection! If it gets to be too much, you could tell her that she can only have what will fit in the box. Once it is full, she has to get rid of some to make room for more! I think that is good thing to learn for collectors of any age (preaching to myself here!) Good luck!

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A.N.

answers from Washington DC on

I think I went through that phase at 5 or 6... my thing was rocks. This might be a guess but my Mom limited me by saying I couldn't have more than would fit in a large plastic cup. I tried all sorts of clever ways to get a bigger cup but nothing worked. The experience helped teach me about choosing and making decisions (which would I keep, when was it time to switch them out...). I also believe that this is a phase that continues (in elementary school and middle school I collected baseball cards and I still have four pretty rocks that we found on our honeymoon).I will add that my Mom was always supportive of my collections, but always had a limit. I remember that she actually spent time looking at my various collections and wouldd help me choose what to keep by asking questions as well as remembering when I had others that were simular - and I'm the youngest of 5!

I guess my advice is to stick with the system she has designed which will limit her to a shoe box.
Good luck - A.

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T.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Oooooo! She may be a budding art director! I have an intense love of type and still save things like that. It has helped me immensely in my profession. What a great thing! Nurture it. Not only is it great for teaching reading and art, but also shapes and geometry. One suggestion I have is to get a photo album and make sections. Have her organize her clippings (which will also teach her sorting and organization skills) by color or upper case/lower case, alphabet or something else you decide together. It will become a wonderful game. Another idea is to put the words in a plastic bag and have her pull a word out one at a time. Have her tell a story using the word somehow. This is great to do with your son too (although he is a little young). It builds cause/effect skills and is something my son is doing in first grade.

You are lucky. My son collects sticks and rocks. Good luck!

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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Give her ONE shoe box and let her know that all her "words" and paper have to fit in it. If there is no more room she has to go through it and purge some old ones to add new ones. Good luck.

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A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I think it is wonderful that your daughter has devised this way of practicing reading and sight words. But I can see how it could become an overload. Perhaps - you could come up with a way of helping her "cut back" on the word collection. Some ideas might be:
1. Let her choose a certain number of words to save each day. If she has already met her "limit" but wants another word - then she must give up one of the previous words. You could make this a math "game" with the counting.
2. Set size limits on the words - example: words can not be any larger than 2 inches - this would also help her on her math skills and learning to use a ruler to tell the size of a word.
3. Have her look for words that start with a certain letter and she could select the letter - either from memory or from a list of the alphabet. Let her change letters once a week or so.
4. Does she know rhyme? If she does - suggest that she pick one word from her word box (that she already has) and look for only words that rhyme with the word she chose from the word box. She could choose a new word from the word box each day.
5. Have a Color of the Week - she chooses the color and she only collects words that week that are written in her chosen color.

Hope some of these help you.
A.

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D.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I can't help but giggle. This is so way normal. You should see what boys collect. This is a good foundation for what library books to choose and journal entries. I just do a lot of very quiet throwing away.

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K.H.

answers from Dover on

I would just allow her to have a certain number (even if just 1) of the shoeboxes, or whatever she keeps the papers in. When it is full, tell her she must take some of the old papers out to put the new papers in. It will teach her a bit of managing her stuff! LOL! That is kind of what I do with my kids, all of it has to fit in one thing...if not, they need to get rid of some. Their choice which papers...but they need to keep all of their "collection" in there, end of it. You are somewhat lucky...my 3 year old is the same way, only it is collecting rocks and leaves from outside EVERYWHERE we go. She climbs into the car with her little hands grasping a million leaves until we get home and she shoves them into a freezer ziplock bag designated just for that. She has tried to get me to carry more for her! My rule is...you can take it home to put it in your bag if you can carry it. It is a nightmare on rainy days, trying to get her to leave the gross wet leaves on the ground where they are. It will eventually pastt....maybe!
K.

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L.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Let her collect for a week at a time- and only allow one shoe box or collection box... at hte end of the week, make a collage or some kind of craft with the collection and display it for a week, then when she makes a new one replace it and throw the other one away...

My four year old loves to collect every drawing and color page he makes us, but I can't keep/store everything, so I display things for a week and then we make new and get rid of.... He didn't like it at first and I would compromise to make it work, but now he is pretty good about it...

Good Luck

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Dear M. ~

I wouldn't get too caught up in whether or not your daughter's behavior is normal for her age - not yet anyway! Count your blessings that she has an interest in words and learning to read!(You will have a better future student if you encourage and praise her for her efforts!) That said, let's find a solution you both can be happy with that doesn't create "trash". How about if you asked your daughter how many words she wanted to keep each day/week, negotiated an agreement on that, and then provided her a special notebook or journal that she could tape or paste her "collection" in? Maybe even a few dedicated minutes of your undivided attention to her efforts would ease the transition to the trash for what was not chosen for the "special place" for her collection. Sometimes when little hands are busy, that's a good time to ask why certain things have special significance to her. (I once learned how much compassion was a part of a young boy's character when he asked me why a toy had to be thrown away just because it was broken?! Many years later, he is still "fixing" things and helping people with his compassionate soul.)
I believe you and your daughter can reach a solution that will make you both happy if you are patient, creative and persistent. You have an opportunity to be a shining example of how moms can make something special out of "trash". GO FOR IT!

C.

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

I have a daughter the exact same age she just turned 6yrs old in Oct and just started kindergarten. She does the same sort of thing. What i would do is throw some out when she's in school.
But what i would also do is tell her in no uncertain terms You can save words if you like but no more than what will fill this box. When it over flows make her throw some away OR throw them away when she's not looking.
In order to stop tantrums you have to keep doing what your doing until she gives in.

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J.E.

answers from Washington DC on

One suggestion is to make it into an art project. Get a posterboard your choice on size and have her pick her favorite ones to paste on it with the understanding the rest are going to be thrown away to make room for a new collection. *PS sorry I hadn't seen the other notes, really great ideas. Good luck!

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P.F.

answers from Washington DC on

I went through the exact same thing last year. I got some great advice a few years back with my first one that has helped. I bought the biggest 3 ringed binder I could find and a hole punch. For each year of school, they get a new binder. I have my girls help me decide what papers they bring home from school to save and put them in the binder. If they throw a fit, the rule is that it automatically goes in the trash. Their big art projects get hung on their doors. Obviously they run out of room and learn to decide what to keep up and what comes down. When things come down they can save them in a big manilla envelope but they only get one. I also let them keep a shoebox on their desk for anything else they want to keep, i.e cut outs off cereal boxes and little notes they write. Once the shoebox is full, they have to decide what to keep and what to toss. I explained to them that if they wanted to keep more than we could clear out some of their toys to make more space. It has been great to look back at those binders. It is really helping them to see just how much they have grown. Good luck!

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T.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi there. I have two girls - 6 and 8. Everyday, when they come home with their backbacks, I go through their folders and chuck anything that is not a memory piece - something that makes me smile or is impressive in some way, even slightly(you can weed again after the school year), which is maybe 1 piece a day, at most - - I usually end up with 2 or 3 pieces each daughter a week, at most . That said, in your case, you clearly can't throw it away in front of her so pick your battles. Give her her own box for clippings and saving and once a week, at night, after she's gone to bed, weed through it and take stuff out to throw away, and she surely will not remember what was in there from the previous week. I think it's neat to have her be interested in her own stuff, especially if she is being creative with it. But then sort it out later, when she's not around. I keep one big decorative box for each child and I put memory stuff in each throughout the week or month, as it collects. The rest goes. You'll be able to tell if there's something she's particularly attached to, even if it doesn't display work that she's done that you want to keep as a memory - - keep those pieces longer, in her box. On a rare occasion, I have tossed something that she's later remembered and looked for. I just either tell her I accidently got rid of it, or use some distraction to help her forget about it...sometimes she'll recreate it if it was that important - that I keep because now it's funny.

At the end of the year, you can open up the memory box and sort it again. Maybe after the 25th Hanna Montana she drew, it's not that cute anymore and you can whittle it down to the top 5 (first) drawings, or maybe the first and the last to show progress! Good luck!!

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

That's too cute! Well, how about making a scrapbook of the clippings? It might help her build her literacy skills, gives her a gluing craft activity and helps declutter at the same time. Or, let her make a collage from them and frame her art at AC Moore. Might be a bit pricey, but if she sees her clippings in her room, you just never know... Or, let her take pictures of them, download them and ...well, you get the point. She's learning other skills (recycling, art, and creativity), and she's learning to organize her own clutter. She might be a budding writer or artist someday! I'll be eager to see your update in 20 years.

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