5 Year Old Against Staying a Week at Grandparents House

I wouldn't force it.
Or make the stay shorter.
There are no other circumstances for her to 'have to' stay 1 entire week.

You see it as time for her to be away just for her and it would be good for her.
She is 5 and does not see it that way.
Maybe to her, in a little child's mind, she feels it is about her being sent away... because she is not wanted.
Not that that is true, but a little kid does not view "time away" as 'her' time away. Ya know?
And she'd wonder - what about her 1 year old sibling? My Mommy and Daddy don't send her away.....
Maybe in a little child's mind, she feels that way.
Thus, it is not pleasant for her.

I would not force it.

5 years old is a bit young in my opinion to be away for a week. Why don't you try 2 or 3 days and kind of see how it goes from there? I would not force her to go. I used to go visit my aunt and uncle for a week every summer when I was a kid and I can remember being so homesick for my mom I would cry until I threw up every night. As I got older I enjoyed my visits with them. But 5 is pretty young and if she gets teary eyed just thinking about it that should give you some indication that she's just not ready.

Since there is no real reason for it, I wouldn't force her to go. I'd let her decide and then go with that, without pressuring her. A week is an awfully long time for a little kid (especially since there aren't other circumstances requiring it). If you wanted to change it to just overnight one night and see how she feels about that, it might be a good compromise...assuming she wants to do that. But I would listen to her and start slow:-)

Has she stayed overnight with them before? A week is pretty long for a 5 year-old unless she is accustomed to staying with her grandparents. How far away do your in-laws live? If you get a call in the middle of the night, can you go pick her up? Could she stay for a night or two instead of a week?

I know some kids start staying with grandparents at a young age. My daughter did not stay overnight away from us until she was 6 1/2 and then it was with close friends, a mile from home, for one night. At 5, I just don't think I would push this.

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It doesn't sound to me like she's ready yet. I wouldn't force her.

If your parents want to spend more time with her, why not take your 1 yr. old and go along too. It would be nice for all of you to visit.

Your parents can take your DD to the zoo, or where ever, so they still get special time alone with her, but you'll be there at night- which is usually when they have a hard time being away from home.

Just an idea.

Best wishes!! =o)

Maybe you could try to get her to go for just the weekend, and if she decides she wants to stay the rest of the week, she can, and if not you can pick her up.

Has she ever stayed over there before? You might try to start with just one night at a time if she has never stayed the night anywhere before I could understand why she might not want to.

How far away do your in-laws live? If it is close enough, maybe you can do a shorter visit first. For my 6 year old daughter, a week would be incredibly scary. Sometimes even when she is going away for a day or overnight I have to say that I'll come and get her if she needs me to. Typically she has fun once she is there, but needs the reassurance that I will come get her if she gets scared or misses me too much. If your in-laws aren't too far away, maybe that would be a possibility.

Have you talked to your daughter about why she doesn't want to go? Is she close to your in-laws? Can you talk about the fun things they will do?

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Every month or so is not very often for her age. She just might be too young and not that familiar with them.

You can either encourage her, by having grandparents call and talk about fun things they have planned or could plan to do with her. Or just wait until she is a bit older. But I wouldn't try to force her to go. In my opinion I would only force a child to do something if its out of necessity, like going to school or a Dr's appointment...something like that.

A week is a very long time to a 5 year old; especially if your in-laws live further away. When mine started having sleepovers, they'd go for one night with the condition that if they needed to come home, Daddy would get them and bring them home; no matter what time it was.

Some of them took us up on that offer, some of them stayed the whole night. Only my 14 year old and almost 12 year old have gone away for a week. The younger ones are too uneasy yet.

If she wants to stay home, I'd apologize to my in-laws but explain that she isn't quite ready or a week long stay away from home yet.

I would not force it. Our 6 yo just went on a family vacation w/ my MIL and she is very, very comfortable with her. It was for four days and three nights and she was terribly homesick and missed us sooo much that she said she never wants to be apart from us for that long again :(

If they live close plan for a week but expect a few days. Be prepared to pick her up if she gets too homesick. Your parents should have activities planned. A couple of outings to a zoo or park. But kids also enjoy getting out and helping with gardening. I used to love listening to my grandparents talk about my patents childhood and their childhood.

My daughter does this even if it's for ONE night LOL... she gets over it tho, and I tell her she can call me anytime. I'd have her go and if she's still crying and miserable in 3 days - go get her.

What about just for a weekend? How does she feel about that?

If I were you, I would not force it on her. Tell her that you will pack for a week, she can plan to be there for the weekend and if she decides to stay for the week she will already be prepared....but be sure that either they bring her home or you come to get her at the end of the weekend if she chooses to come home.

I grew up, from a very young age, spending summers with my grandparents, aunts and uncles. I got sentimental about missing my parents but then I always cried when I had to leave my relatives I was staying with. I enjoyed them so much.
My kids spent a lot of time around their grandparent too and I knew they missed me, but they were never really ready to leave either.
I personally have the best memories being around my grandparents. I never saw it as my parents not wanting me. I had so much fun that the days flew by.
Grandmas and Grandpas aren't around forever and I think it's important for kids to have that time and those memories.
Do what you think is best. I don't know that following through with the plans has to necessarily equate "forcing" her to go. Sometimes, bringing things up too soon can cause a child anxiety about the situation and the longer it gets drawn out, the harder it can be.

I hope you find a way that works out for all of you.

Just a couple of questions and thoughts...
1. How often does she see them? If they live very far and she only sees them a couple times of year, you are essentially sending her to stay with strangers for a week (in her mind). Start having her call them a couple time a week to hear their voices so that she can hear all of the fun things they have planned!
2. How far do they live? If they are close, you could suggest that you go day-by-day with a 3 day minimum to "start". If you drop her off and spend the first night with her and leave the next day, you can transition her more easily.
3. Promise to call each evening after dinner so you can hear what she did- and do it!
4. Pack all of her "comfort" items and her toiletries too! Remember her pillow, blanket, a couple of her toys, etc.
5. Make sure gram and gramp know what her favorite and least favorite foods are, television shows, books, etc. No need to have a meltdown over meatloaf!

Yes, I would probably insist that my son spend time with his grandparents, but I wouldn't look at it as "forcing" and I wouldn't have him away at that age for a full week. A long weekend would be much better... and you can spend the balance of the week visiting with your parents as well!

I think she is just scared of the unknown and once she is there she will have fun. If, after a day or 2, she still wants to just be home, than you can go get her.

One week is forever, at her age. And as another poster noted, seeing them once a month sounds like "pretty often" to an adult but isn't to a kid. Has she even slept over at their house without you, ever, on these monthly visits? If not -- you can take her for a sleepover where you also stay, to get her used to the idea. But please don't force her to be away for an entire week when she is clearly telling it you it distresses her. Also, it likely won't be a week, because after one or two or three days, you will get the call from the grandparents that she needs to come home -- and that call might come in the middle of the night.

You want their home to be a place of positive associations for her. But if you force her to go, then the next time your whole family visits, she will be more apprehensive, more afraid, and might even worry that -- though she's going WITH you -- that you intend to leave her at the grandparents' house like you did "last time." You really don't want to deal with the repairs and reassurances you'll have to do to make her comfortable there on later visits if you force her to stay there a week.

I am not keen on the idea someone suggested of going for a weekend and telling her you'll pack thiings so she can stay on for a week if she wants to extend the visit. I think that puts too much responsibility on a child this young; she would be in the position of hearing from you over the phone, "So do you want to stay the rest of the week?" while the grandparents are nodding yes next to her. Too much pressure on a small kid to decide (and she could say yes that moment, then change her mind five minutes later). Set a definite time limit, overnight or two nights, and then pick her up when you say you will -- that way she knows you WILL always come get her when you say you will, and her confidence at being separated from you will grow because she knows she can rely on you to start and end her visits when you say you will (and won't put it on her shoulders).

Also, are the grandparents really fully aware of what it's like to have a five-year-old in their home, 24/7, for a full week? Maybe they do this with other grandkids and it's dandy and they have the full arsenal of energy and activities ready, but if not -- they will realize they took on too much, perhaps. She might wander at night, call out, have dreams, want food and drink not on their schedule, say she's bored, not like the activities they have planned, etc. -- are they up for all that and ready to switch gears to keep the visit positive?

we listen to a fun cd called "My first sleepover" with Elmo. Maybe available at your library? It is really great, my 4 year old listens to it everynight as a story, and it helped her when she did an overnight with her nana.

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