10 answers

5 Year Old Acting Out in School

Hello All. I am a married working mom of 3 children. Lately my 5 year old has been acting out in school. She is in kindergarten. She is very talkative and know she is talking loud and disruping the teacher and the class. She wants to do her own thing in class as opposed to working with others and the teacher. I've disciplined her, punished her and I talk to her everyday. There have not been any changes in the household or any changes in our daily life or routine. Can anyone please just give a little advice on what else to do or has anyone experienced behavior issues with a 5 year old.

1 mom found this helpful

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My son is doing the same thing, and my feeling is that he is bored. His teacher seems to think he is seeking out attention from adults. My husband & I are lucky in that we are home more than most, as we work from home and take frequent breaks with them so I don't think it's lack of attention. I really just think it comes down to plain old boredom but that's just my take on it. He also hates to color & much of the day is spent coloring in kindergarten.
I have also stopped punishing him for miss-deeds at school when he comes home because the teacher has already punished him by removing privileges in class like playtime.
I also think it's just part of being 5 ;o

More Answers

Hi T.,

I'm a first grade teacher, and the mother of a one year old, and I have heard your story many times over. Here's what I suggest to the parents in my classroom. I start a behavior modification chart in the classroom that usually has just one rule on it-for your daughter: "I will raise my hand and wait to be called on before sharing" or " I will finish my work" (if this is the underlying problem) or "I will listen to my teacher's directions the first time they are said"...you can word it so it works for you. Then, I list the subjects of the day down the side of the chart. Eg, morning meeting, reading, math... For every subject, I check in with the student regarding their rule. If they did a good job, they get a star/sticker/happy face on their chart. If they make their goal by the end of the day, then their parents reward them at home! The classroom teacher sets the goal. For example, if there are 8 subjects, maybe 4 or 5 is a reasonable goal to start. The point is that you want her to reach the goal and be positively rewarded for her behavior, rather then punished when she gets home. The reward you give should be meaningful-more reading time with mommy, extra computer time with dad, a special trip somewhere as a family.... Or, some of my parents add a marble to a jar for every day a goal is made, then when the jar is full the student chooses a BIG reward. Either way, again, its positive for your child and she will feel successful instead of always receiving the same responses from you. Anyway, this is what I use and it is very successful in my classroom. Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful

Dear T. A,

I am the mother of five children and have found that some of my children find it difficult in situations where there is a lot of stimulus. Children can have problems with sensory issues and thus appear to be acting out or misbehaving when in actuallity they are not able to handle all of sensory imput. A book that that has been helpful is the Out of Sync Child.

Also, your child might be just needing to learn the social cues and is really not misbehaving but trying to figure out the suttle cues. She also could be apprehensive in school and thus over excited. Talk with the teacher or social worker and school to help give her some stratagies when she is excited.

Don't worry Kindergarten is the place where they need to learn these things.

Hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful

T.-
my son was the golden child for K and first grade......now all the sudden he is being called out on his behavior, wiggling to much, talking out loud, a bunch of stuff that would have been looked over when we were in school. Honestly i think over the last couple of years way to many demands have been put on our children thru society and school systems.
What ever happend to paste and kid friendly scissors. I dont remember school being such a stress...........
And remember kindergarden was OPTIONAL (yes for new york ct and a bunch of other new england towns........).........we are pushing them to hard to fast, so maybe she needs a four day week.......and free time at a daycare.........honestly i pull my son whenever i feel like he just might need a day to relax......think about it.......are we pushing them into to much to fast????
____@____.com feel free to write me

1 mom found this helpful

My son is doing the same thing, and my feeling is that he is bored. His teacher seems to think he is seeking out attention from adults. My husband & I are lucky in that we are home more than most, as we work from home and take frequent breaks with them so I don't think it's lack of attention. I really just think it comes down to plain old boredom but that's just my take on it. He also hates to color & much of the day is spent coloring in kindergarten.
I have also stopped punishing him for miss-deeds at school when he comes home because the teacher has already punished him by removing privileges in class like playtime.
I also think it's just part of being 5 ;o

Your 5 year old may be bored and this may be the reason for acting out in class. She may need a class that is more challenging for her. Does she get her work done? This may be something to look into and speak with her teacher about.

T.,

I am curious, when did she turn 5? I am wondering if she just wasn't ready for kindergarten. This is something I am struggling with about my middle son who will be 5 the end of July. Personally I don't think he is ready to sit still and speak only when spoken to all day, 5 days a week so we are considering putting him in a pre-K program. I know he will be 6 then when he starts kindergarten but I just think he will be more prepared then and I certainly don't want him to struggle.

How is she doing "academically"? I know they don't get grades but you know what I mean. Would the school consider holding her back another year? I know up here they don't which makes no sense because they will pull the children out several times a week with tutors instead. Personally I'd rather have my child start later.

Good luck. This may be more age and maturity related than her trying to act out.

Hugs,
L.

Try asking her if there is anything bothering her that she does not want to talk about. Monitor her behavior and play tactics with her toys or dolls. See if you can find the solution or get to the bottom of her problem there. Maybe she feels she does not have anyone at home that can relate to her on her level.

T. ont thing i will say is I had the opposite with my 5 yr old she wasnt talking enough, so the teacher wanted her to participate a little more. What I did is kept in constant communication with her teachers with letters, but the key is as you write the letters, have her sit with you and read what you are writing. Shes not going to want to dissapoint you so most likely she is going to straighten up a little. If this doesnt work, try sitting in in class, (unannounced to her), and see, how she innteracts with the other kids and teacher you will get alot of good insights from doing this. Then talk to her constantly about how her days are going, and if she is getting any better. I hope this helps you.

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