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5 Week Old Wants to Sleep on Me

My son is just 5 wks old and wakes up minutes after I lay him down. He sleeps great and for longer stretches with me in my bed. I know this is a huge 'no no', but the only way I can get more than 1 1/2hr of sleep at a time. Of course, I don't get sound sleep this way. When I get him, I know he isn't hungry because he quits crying and goes back to sleep on me. Any advice on getting him to sleep pin his bassinet? p.s. I do swaddle and give a paci. Thanks in advance!!

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the warmth and the heart beat is what he is after. There are sleep toys for babies that have a heart beat try one.

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They have this little thing that looks like a big spring cloths pin that you can push the button and it vibrate the cradle or crib and makes a little humming sound. This worked for my son, and when he was a little older, a few months old and in his crib I got him one of those white noise machines, and he would sleep through the night. He just needed those little white noise sounds like when he was in the womb I guess.

Have no ideas to give you, I did this with my son, as he got bigger I could eventually lay him down to sleep on his own, actually in a swing.
I did notice you have a 16 month old and a newborn, my kids will be 18 months apart and I am scared about how I'll manage, do mind me asking what has been the toughest part?

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Oh have I been there. Try this. A good friend of mine suggested that my son was waking up b/c of the temperature difference of me vs. the crib. Get a heating pad, just a plug in general one from CVS and lay it in the crib about 15 min before you put him in it. Let it warm the crib up, and then take it out just before he lays down, and it worked like charm for my son. We used it for the first 3 months. Swaddling also might help, but for us, the cold crib was what would snap him awake everytime. Good Luck! Juat remember to take it out and turn it off!

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K.,

I hope you will take the advice of those who have offered suggestions for heart-beat bears, hot water bottles and white noise machines. And follow your instincts and information that acknowledge the dangers of co-sleeping. Listen to the advice that you received from Ruth C. (July 6th) - who gives you personal information about the dangers (via her sister) and check out this website: www.cpsc.gov/CPSCPUB/PREREL/PRHTML99/99175.html

I am surprised at the dowla's lack of knowledge. The mothers who recommend co-sleeping can only do so because they are NOT among the parents of an average of 64 children, < 2-years of age, that die annually in incidents related to sleeping in adult beds. These deaths are NOT all due to drugs and obesity - as some have suggested.

Also, the privilege - that we are a nation that is blessed enough, economically, to allow MOST families the adequate space and provisions to avoid co-sleeping - seems to evade most respondents. Because it would be very difficult to obtain global statistics, I don't know if there are studies that record accurate facts regarding the number of deaths from co-sleeping in cultures that have no other options (due to overcrowding, space limitations or poverty.)

I am not opposed to sleeping with children CLOSE at hand - in a bassinet or other protective place. But I believe in doing everything possible to avoid the "accidents" that are verifiable facts - and tragedies, in the lives of some. "Google" the dangers of co-sleeping and read through. Anyone who has been on the "wrong" side of the outcome will not advise it; the others are lucky (or blessed.)

Concerned,
K.

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Hi K.,

If you are getting more and more sleep deprived, then you have a BIG chance of falling deep asleep and rolling over, either on him or not waking if you shift and he falls off... Its just not a good idea. The first 8 weeks are tough, really tough, when it comes to mama getting enough sleep. Keep in mind that his stomach can't hold that much food and he should be eating every 2 hours for the first few weeks. So if he's waking up every 1.5, he's probably hungry in addition to missing the sound of your heart beat.

Please don't co-sleep. Its so dangerous.

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the warmth and the heart beat is what he is after. There are sleep toys for babies that have a heart beat try one.

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You're right about it being a no-no. You have some good advice here, but make this a mission to figure out - not something optional. I'm mostly responding to some of the incorrect stuff in the responses about co-sleeping. There are a few people who've written books who have ignored facts & the realities of modern living. I've mentioned this on another board too, but co-sleeping, especially for such small babies is dangerous. I've done it myself occasionally and I'm not judging anyone at all, but this info doesn't seem to be common knowledge as it should be.

My brother is a pediatrician and he had a patient (and knows of several others) who died because they were suffocated in their parent's bed. They weren't obese or on drugs. Just normal tired parents in the modern american type of bed. These cases are so awful. Little babies can't fight their way out if we roll over on them, or they can get stuck between the headboard and the mattress among other things.

The parents always think they will wake up, that they could never possibly not notice something like this - but there's no way to be responsible for our actions as we sleep. People who advocate co-sleeping talk about how it's common throughout history and other cultures. Well, they didn't have headboards, a bunch of pillows and plush mattresses. There's just too much complexity in modern beds and opportunity for a little one to get trapped or smothered.

My 5 cents again on co-sleeping. I've done it myself before I knew. It's comfortable & convienent, but not worth the risk.

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Both of my boys co-slept form day one. It is most definetly not a big no-no if you use your head about it. LOL.
My oldest is 5 now and sleeps in his own room. My baby is 22m and sleeps in his own room.

I would let your son co-sleep until he is like 6 months old or longer then start sleep training him.

I don't think co-sleeping is a no-no, I did it with both of my kids and intend to do it with this one too. If you feel uncomfy get one of those co-sleeping spacers for in the bed or an Arm's Reach Co-sleep or Co-sleeper Mini (I bought a mini for $60 at a resale shop). Keep in mind that America is one of the only countires in the world who does not recognize co-sleeping as the best way to go... most other countries don't live in houses with as many rooms as we do, so families are closer from the get go.

Good luck!

I see someone already mentioned the heart beat bear! I'd try that one. It may be enough to help your little guy sleep.

Blessings and congratulations on your precious baby boy!
M. S. (Mommy to Connor-13 yrs., Nathan - 13 yrs., Faith - 9 yrs. and Fabian - 5 yrs.)

I was always told that co-sleeping was a BAD thing so I never did it and suffered the concequenses with my son. He NEVER slept at night and I never had the chance to sleep during the day.
With my daughter, I co-slept with her IN the hospital and continued after I got home for the first 3 months! I got my sleep and breast feeding was SOOOOOO much easier. The stress was less because I was getting GOOD sleep and not restless sleep (I wake up at the drop of a pin and sleep very light, so good sleep for me just means I'm not up looking around every few minutes!) After co-sleeping for 3 months, she was so much more secure and knew I would be there for her. She went straight to a crib (cold turkey) and slept through the night by 4 months.
Now, I'm not saying your child will do the same, each child is different, but co-sleeping in the early months as opposed to the later months is healthy and promotes bonding with babies and helps us sleep at night. I got one of those "First Years" Bed rail guards for my bed so there was no chance of either of us falling off the bed and we both slept great. (ps, my daughter HATED being swadled but did take a paci too, co-sleeping helped both of us)

My oldest was like that too. You HAVE to get some sleep. I started hallucinating and could have been dangerous to the baby. I finally had to start putting her down in a room I couldn't hear her and sleep. She screamed whenever she wasn't on my chest. I hated doing that but I was really getting emotionally/mentally drained as I literally got no sleep. Even today she has trouble going to sleep, and she's 5!

When I wasn't sleeping I bundled her and put her in the bouncy seat and then wrapped up the bouncy seat with a blanket. I bounced it while I ate or used the toilet or was just tired of holding her. She got to where she liked that and would eventually fall asleep sometimes in it!!

I found out later she had GERD (reflux.) By the time she was 4 months old she had to be on meds because she cried all the time, even while held!

She also has Sensory Integration Dysfunction and I think that's why she wanted to be on my chest. in the future you might want to check out SID and autism or Asperger Syndrome as my DD has AS as well and I've heard other parents of children on the autism spectrum that their babies were like that too.

Please, don't be scared about that. I have SID and AS as well and your child can lead a fulfilling life if that's the case. I'm only telling you this so you might want to look for it in the future.

Hugs, please get some sleep.

S., mom to 1 in Heaven, 4 on Earth, and 1 in the womb!

Have no ideas to give you, I did this with my son, as he got bigger I could eventually lay him down to sleep on his own, actually in a swing.
I did notice you have a 16 month old and a newborn, my kids will be 18 months apart and I am scared about how I'll manage, do mind me asking what has been the toughest part?

K., it is not a no-no. Please consult books by Dr. Sears as well as his website. Also try the API website. That stands for Attachment Parenting International. We, Westerners have to readjust our thinking. Putting newborn babies in a separate room or letting them cry it out to sleep is not a natural way of parenting. I don't mean to sound harsh but really think about it and consult the sources that I suggested. They can explain it in greater detail. It does take adjusting and some personal sacrifice but, you and your child will reap the benefits of a nurturing, physical relationship. Get your husband in on it too. Besides, you're a stay-at-home mom like me and that makes it easier on you. This type of parenting can be difficult on the working mommy but is not impossible. Every child is different and parenting has to be adjusted to accommodate the individual child.
I hope that I have offered some good avenues for you to follow up on.
Good luck and good sleep.
L.

okay, I'm adding a few more cents to my response. After reading some of the other responses, I felt compelled.
Do your research, K.. Co-sleeping is NOT as dangerous as others are making it sound unless as mentioned by someone else, the parents are obese or on drugs that cause deep sleep. There has even been significant research that co-sleeping prevents SIDS. It is done in most every country but America. And this is the advanced country whose teenagers commit horrible crimes against their own parents. (Okay, that's my soapbox statement. I'll get off now.) Co-sleeping is a natural, God-given means of nurturing and security for your baby. Especially those babies that give you signs that this is what they want like your baby seems to be doing. Listen to your babies signs, signals, cries, and cues. You will know instinctively what to do. You already have a 16mo. old so you're pretty good at it already. I co-slept w/ all three of my children and they still sleep w/ me on the nights that Daddy works (he's an overnight worker) and on his nights off, right back to their own beds they go. We are all very close and affectionate. I know that it is not for everybody but, it is NOT wrong. Please consult the sources that I suggested. You will learn sooo much from them as I did.

I have allowed babies to sleep next to me in bed so that I could get to sleep and be a decent mom to the rest of my guys. This works best if you have a King size bed and Dad doesn't roll. But we had a queen and so it can still work. We would start off in the crib and I'd get some sleep then end up bringing the baby to bed to nurse laying down. Invariably baby would fall asleep and so would I, but my sleep definitely improved. As the baby needs to nurse less through the night (at about 10-11months sometimes earlier than this and then we hit a growth spurt and he'd want to nurse more...then sleep more...an ever changing cycle...just when you think you know....:), right now he's staying in his crib through the night and now my sleep has really improved. Swaddling is wonderful for this age. Paci? I didn't use...can't say.

The only advice I really have is that it would be much better to break the habit of his wanting to sleep with you now when he's tiny than when he's older, louder, and already trained to it. It may take some crying, but it will be worth it in the end.

They sell a bear at Target that has a heartbeat to it. Your baby is use to hearing your heartbeat when he sleeps so maybe this will work. It sells for around $30. It worked for my son and when my dog was a puppy we used it to console her. (her mom abandoned her at 3 weeks old)

Your baby is seeking the comfort of you near. Here are a few suggestions:
1)when you lay him in the bassinet, pull off the shirt you were just wearing (yes, the one he spit up on and you wore all day) and place it in the bassinet near him. Your scent will still be on it and he'll feel like you're near.

2)white noise (like your heartbeat is when you're close) - works great. Some places have little monitors that have a heartbeat sound, others have waves, just pick something rhythmic.

Congrats mommy! :)

Hi.
I had the same issue with my son. I found that he slept better when he was a little elevated (on an incline) and that's why he did better on me (at least in part).
I ended up putting him in his stroller, with the back down. I put a pillow (standard size) in his stroller and a towel under the head end so it was somewhat inclined. The pillow cradled him (but was not dangerous to suffication because he wasn't rolling over yet). I put the stroller right next to me at the bed so I could wake up and glance or be there if he needed to eat.
As far as concerns for what is right or wrong in terms of social attitudes, let that go. Remember that every culture has their own theories and none are more correct. Do what you must to get through this time and ignore the critical remarks of others. Best of luck.

If all of the advice of making him comfortable outside of the bed/in his crib don't work, then get one of those portable co-sleeper beds with sides that folds up like a breif case(about $40) so you don't worry abotu rolling over on him and let him sleep with you. He needs your sounds and smell - that's all he knows. I was sleep deprived to start but no *I* can't sleep without my little girl. It gets much better, fast. And she goes to sleep by herself, far before I come to bed and says that our bed is her 'happy place'.

Bottom line, there is no wrong answer - do what works.

Good luck!

He may need you a little more right now than he will later on in his life. When you think about it, he was very close to you for 9 whole months. Now after only 5 short weeks he is being expected to sleep alone. It may take him a little while to get to that point. For now, try putting him down in his bassinet and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. It will one day. You 15 year old will not be sleepingin bed with you. The goal is sleep right? No matter how you can get it.

My dr kept telling me to make my baby girl cry and then she'll learn. The second time I tried it, I let her cry for 45 minutes and it killed me. I was a mess with nerves. I couldn't do it. Many will tell me that I was wrong. But she is 7 months old now, sleeps in her crib just fine and broke that habit after about 2 months old. She only slept on our chests. Sure I didn't get much sleep but it was the sacrifice I gave for her rest that she needed. It worked for me, may not for others. Now the only thing is that I didn't sleep with her like that. I would just finally lay her down. If she woke up, I did it all over again. Most of the time I got 2 hour spans of sleep myself. She hasn't slept on me or with me since sometime before 3 mos old. Now she sleeps 8-10 hours per night in her crib. Just my story :) Good luck!

Looks like you have lots of great advice already. Not sure if you have one, but they make REALLY comfy gliders for babies. it helps them feel secure and embraced. they can be kind of pricey though...worth checking them out though! check walmart/target/ebay/craigslist/etc

good luck and enjoy cuddling with your precious lil babe!

K.,
I give you my total sympathy sister! I am the mother of 3 and unfortunately the best advice I can give is the hardest to follow. You have to show him now who's boss and what he's suppose to do. Cuddle and love him, put him in his crib with his paci and walk away. This will take about a week to break him of this habit and you will be exhuasted and frustrated, but he will get use to this pretty quickly and adapt to his new routine. That's the beauty of children...they do adapt and a week really isn't that long. Just feels that way! When he wakes, go check on him, change, feed or shift him around, put him back in the crib awake and walk away - he will soon get the message.
I wish you the best of luck! You can do it!
D.

Why is it a huge no-no to sleep in the bed with you? The months when my baby was in the bed with us were some of the greatest times we had with him. My husband actually cried when my son insisted on sleeping in his own crib. And now my son sleeps better than any other child I know because he feels secure in his sleep, not abandoned. You should read up on attachment parenting and Dr. Sears's view on co-sleeping. He has a page on his web-site about the benefits of co-sleeping and it's really compelling stuff.

My suggestion may or not be a big "no, no", but my youngest daughter (now 7) would NEVER sleep in her crib. Looking back, I could've just done without a crib. But my solution was to make a nice comfy pallet of several blankets in the corner of the room. I would lay on my side and nurse her to sleep, then simply get up when she was done and/or asleep. This way solved so many issues: it avoided having to move her, I could nap with her if I wanted to, it took her out of bed with me and my husband which allowed us to get a much better night of sleep, it prevented the possibility of her falling out of our bed, it prevented her from climbing out of a crib once she was mobile, and it kept her close by to nurse in the middle of the night as needed.
Like I said, it may be a "no, no" to those experts that like to give advice, but it was so perfect for us.
By the way, when she was little, we didn't have a bedroom for her, so she "bunked" in our room which even more so made this work out for all of us.
Good luck, I'm sure you are exhausted!! W. =)

Why is this a no no? I am a doula and very exposed to the birth and infant issues...a family bed, especially for an infant is generally thought of as a great idea. It reduces the chances of SIDS because mom is right there to notice if baby stops breathing...Babies that little should not go into a deep sleep and waking about every 2 hours is totally normal for them. If you're breastfeeding you don't even need to get up when he wakes up, just feed and go back to sleep...but this sounds to me like a general comfort measure. It sounds like he just feels more secure when you're around and he can relax better...that is a huge compliment to you.

Swaddling my children (I had twins)was the best thing I could have done. Wrap them up nice and tight and they feel like being held. It was a huge comfort. As they get a little older you can begin to loosen the swaddle ever so slightly until eventually they are just being covered. A paci is up to you. I gave all my children paci's as a last resort. I had to survive somehow!
A.

K.,

It isn't a no no to have your new born sleep with you. Especially if you get more sleep as well. Babies need to feel warm and loved. They are still adjusting and to be close to mama helps them to be more comfortable. I do understand that you need your alone sleep too. This might also be a no no, but it is the only way my babies would ever sleep. I lay them on their tummy and gently rub or pat their backs until they fall asleep. Then pray they don't wake up until I have had a good amount of sleep.

M. K

What worked for me with all four of my boys. Was I would wear a shirt for a little bit maybe 30 minutes to an hour. That way it would get my smell on the shirt. Some of my boys liked to sleep on there back so I would put the shirt on top of the blanket. Then I also had a couple of my boys that would only sleep on there tummy. So I would lay the shirt on the sheet and then lay them on top of the shirt. It would like a charm. I would exchange shirts every couple of days. Good luck.

Try the mommy bear he worked great for my little girl. It is a brown stuffed bear and it makes the sound of a heart beat. You can get them about any where. Good luck hope it works for you.

I use to put the comforter in the carrier and place the baby in the carrier. He felt real snug and slept great. And I kept the carrier on the floor next to my bed and would rock it when the baby cried.

When each of my 2 were infants, I really enjoyed sleeping with my babies. It has been awhile since then so I do not recall exactly when I moved them to the bassinet, but it was around 2 or 3 months. Initially, it may be difficult to sleep because your are worried you will roll over your baby. As soon as I became a mom, my sleep has never been perfect. I wake up to any sound or movement (including a sleeping infant. I felt that when sleeping together, both me and the baby needed this time for extra bonding. We eventually moved them both to bassinets next to my side of the bed and then finally moved them to the nursery. Babies this age are a lot of work with little sleep. Sleeping with them was the extra joy of being a new mom for me. Absolutely no regrets!!!! Congrats on your new baby.

My daughter has really bad reflux, and the doc recommended letting her sleep in her carrier. She is now on medication for the reflux, and we are moving her out of her carrier....although her crib got recalled so we have had a minor set back! But I do use a bassinet for half the night. Once she is good and asleep the first time she wakes I move her into the bassinet. Sorry I do not co-sleep because my husband is a paramedic, and lots of babies die that way. He goes out on 2-3 calls per year where babies have been crushed or rolled off the bed etc. So to me it is a big no no....just my opinion though!

Whoever told you that co-sleeping is a big no-no ?

You should look up more about the benefits of co-sleeping. Try http://www.llli.org/FAQ/cosleep.html or the abstract review of a AAP Policy Statement at http://www.llli.org/cbi/journal10.05.html.

I got better sleep when each of by babies (I have three boys) co-slept with me and my husband. My husband got better sleep. We didn't have any problems. It was nice to reach over and feel my baby sleeping when I woke up worried (especially when a first-time mom).

Good luck!
D.

Hello when we were moving our son into his own bed we put hot water in a hot water bottler and wrapped it in a towel to memmic your body heat and then he might not even know your gone

Try rockin him with your hand by pattin his bottom. Its a rockin motion and you hand lets him know your still there.Also not everyone disagrees with children sleeping with you but mine didn't do that until they got old enough to climb out of their crib. I believe it makes them feel secure and its good bonding. Mine are grown and I don't see that it hurt em. Annie...After reading everybodys responses I want to add..I have 4 grown kids and when they were babies there weren't so many experts seem people did just fine but everybody I knew used cradles or bassinets at that age. We put it by our bed and then I could be by my baby if he needed me and I wasn't sleeping with him. When he out grew the cradle he slept in a crib in his own room.He slept through the night until he was old enough for a toddler bed..Some cradles rock. Each baby is different but I hope this helps.

He was with you for 9 months, he needs your closeness. I think if you are responsible, it is ok to co-sleep. I only did on an occaisional night with my first child, but did with my second child until about 8 or 9 weeks and it made a world of difference in how rested I and he were. I placed the mattress out of the sofa bed on the floor in his room. We were only 3 inches off the ground so I wasn't worried about him "rolling off." Also, it was large enough (queen size) that I could nurse him on one side and then move to the other when he was asleep (for those worried about rolling on their babies which I never did and never was in any danger of doing). If he stirred I would just move my head over next to his and he would quiet.

At nine weeks I started transitioning him into his bed. Usually for the first sleep cycle of the night (when he was the most tired) I would put him in the crib. When he woke I would bring him onto the mattress and he would spend the rest of the night with me. Then, I moved up to putting him back in his crib during the second sleep cycle that he slept the longest (2-5 a.m. for us). By 11 weeks he was sleeping all his cycles in his crib. At 12 weeks I moved back into my own bedroom.

Good luck whatever you choose to do, and remember somewhere in the 5-7 week time frame they go through a growth spurt where they barely sleep. When it is through he will sleep better and so will you.

K., don't beat yourself up! He is still so small...and will grow up so fast! I have been where you are and can remember that it felt like the end of the world because I wasn't doing things 'right.' All four of my kids did a lot of sleeping with me (and with my husband) and they are all now (ages 2, 6, 8, 9 1/2) sleeping all night in their own beds. I breast fed them all and so they were naturally more attached to me, but once they were weaned sleep time gradually became 'normal.' Don't compare yourself or your kids to other families and follow your mothers instincts.

I know that it's a no-no, but I did it too:) And you are completely right...I didn't get any deep sleep either. We experimented with different environments for our son...at first, he would only sleep in a bouncy seat (other than on my chest), so we did that for a couple of weeks and then we transitioned him to a bassinet. We eventually learned it was all about temperature. He wanted to be really warm...so we cut the space heater on where we kept him and then transitioned him to his room and moved the heater up there...(he was born in December). He now sleeps in his room for about 10 hours straight.

Hi K.:

I just wanted to tell you my situation... I have 2 1/2 yr. old twins and a 13 month old, and every one of mine slept in the bed with me, until I was through breast feeding (which was when all of them were about 7-8 months old). There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with this. You are his/her Mother and you know what is best for your child. Sometimes they just need to feel you next to them... I mean they were so snug inside your belly for 9 months and all of a sudden it's gone! That's got to be scary! Don't worry about what other people think... if you are comfortable and happy with him/her in the bed with you and he/she is too, that's all that matters! Good luck to you and God Bless, H.

I know that people frown on the use of pillows, but this is what's been successful for me: I would put the baby into his bed and rub and sing, etc. Then I'd turn the baby on his side (kinda between back and side) and stick one of those nursing pillows in his back. That way, he'd feel the weight of something there.

I had the same issue with my first baby and felt the same pressure to not have him in bed with me. Looking back however, I wish I would have just listened to my motherly instinct and done what I needed to do, which was let him sleep with me so that we both could get some rest. I feel that I would have been a better mom during the day had I not been soooo tired. He co-slept for just a month, when finally I felt too much pressure and began returning him to the crib. He didn't sleep thru the night until he was a year old, and at 2 years, he still has trouble sleeping. My second baby, on the other hand, slept with me for the first six months. I got a full night's rest every night and so did she. She still sleeps wonderfully at 14 months. Yes there are risks to co-sleeping, so take all the precautions that you can think of. I kicked my husband out of bed (he was happy to go so his wife could get some sleep)and always kept her in the middle of the bed away from pillows or blankets. Bottom line is, listen to your baby and your gut! Some babies just need their mommies more. You just have to make sure you set proper boundaries, but do what you need to do. Books will tell you a lot, but they have no idea what is right for YOUR baby, only you do. Good luck!

I have a 6 week old and he was having the same problem (still wakes up at some point during the night and won't go back to sleep in his bed, but we're working on it). He was just diagnosed with reflux. He has other symptoms as well, but the sleeping flat in the bed was making him really uncomfortable at night. He was fine as long as he was sitting up with me rocking him or laying on me if I was sleeping upright a bit on the couch. What I just did after he was diagnosed was raise up the end of his crib a little with some towels under the mattress and he is sleeping a bit better now. He is also on medication for the reflux, so I'm not sure which is helping. You might try some sort of sleep positioner or raise up the end of the bed where his head goes to see if he just needs to be elevated a little.

I wish I had better advice, but I'm in the middle of it myself and we haven't found the magic cure for it yet. He is sleeping about 4-5 hours at a time now, but only until around 4-5 am and then he can't get himself back to sleep. I've been putting him in his swing at that point and sleeping on the couch. Best of luck to you! I know how hard it is to be so sleep deprived. I have a 2 1/2 year old to keep up with too, so I'm pretty exhausted.

Hi K.,
It is only a myth that you should not sleep with your baby. He is only 5 weeks old. Just out of your nice warm comfy tummy. I let mine sleep with me and I slept way better. It is a nice feeling once I got used to it.
Also very important is that you make sure you eat plenty to keep your energy up.
I have read that babies who sleep with someone don't get taken by SIDS as well. A very comforting thought.
Perhaps get your husband to mind the kids for a while so that you can get some sleep by yourself for an hour or so. Good luck. It does get better.
W.

My son was the same way. Everyone told me oh don't start that. I did however and did not regret it not even once. He is now 6 and as he grows older and doesn't seem "to need" mom so much or I hear him say, "I don't need any help, I can do it all by myself." I truly am glad I had those days. Enjoy them while they are little. Time goes so fast, as I'm sure you know.
Good luck on finding your solution.

K.~
Sleeping with your baby is not a no-no; however you will sleep "deeper" and more restful without him in bed with you. Have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Karp? He has excellent tips to go along with swaddling and paci's etc. Goodluck.

Hi Kristi,
it's the sound of your heart beart beating ,i know that they use to make things ,that made the same sounds a baby heard n the womb ,so i'm sure they still do i think that would do the magic trick i'd guess i'd try your finer baby supplliers
good luck L.

After talking with my daughter who has had 5 kids just like me, we would like to tell you we see nothing wrong with your new son sleeeping with you. We both let our children sleep with us when they were tiny,especially if you breast feed. But don't let it go on for too long, but for a few weeks while you are getting your strenghth back and caring for a 16 month old, we both advise getting as much rest as possible for now. Like I mentioned before, don't let it go on for too long but a few weeks aren't going to hurt anyone if you can get comfortable with sleeping with him, your motherly instincts will really keep you from rolling over on him. If you are worried about your husband rolling over on him, put a small pillow between him and the baby.

Hi K.-

First, I say do whatever works for you and don't worry about what other people think or say is right. You need your sleep right now and however you can get it is the best for you and your family.

I slept with my first child for the first 6mos. We put a guard rail up on the bed and I slept in the middle and my husband slept on the other side of me. I slept great with her next to me. I slowly weaned her, at 4 months we put the crib right next to the bed. We took down the side of the crib and pushed it against the bed, so it was snug tight against the bed. I could put my arm around her and she got used to the crib. Then at 6mos. we moved the crib into her room. She continued to sleep great, I had the harder time with it!

My second daughter only needed about 3 weeks sleeping in the room with us and then she was fine by herself.

My first daughter would only sleep on her stomach, that is why she slept in bed with us. I was freaked out about SIDS, but she would not sleep on her back, due to her little nervous system.

My second one was a back sleeper and she didn't need as much TLC.

Every baby and Mama is different,do what feels right for you and your family!

Good Luck, C.

P.S. Every other mammal sleeps with it's young...

Congratulations!

I feel your pain on the lack of sleep. It is a serious issue. Please try to get help, let people know you need them and they will generally come around, glad to take a turn with the baby. If not, try to get a babysitter to at least play with your older baby while you nap with the newborn.

Sleep deprivation is serious-- think of it this way, if you fell and broke your leg, you would get help...

I agree, the co-sleeping situation is a blessing but can lead to issues. Just keep trying to let your baby be an independent sleeper. I co-slept with one of my three kiddos (first one was too wiggly I could not sleep, and he was fine in his crib) My second, I was so tired because I already had one running around, that I just kept the baby in bed, but I also did not sleep as well with him in there and he became dependent on having that boob right there all the time. I know it is a comfort thing, but I think it can also be a distraction! I mean, my husband and I joke-- who can sleep with a boob in their face? :) He was up every hour and a half to suckle for a few minutes... once I got him in his crib he could sleep undistracted. But this is not the point....

My baby now was always okay in his crib/cradle, but he still co-sleeps every morning with me. Don't worry, you will figure out what works for you!

Just get help and accept it-- and the baby is still so so so tiny, you cannot spoil her, do not feel guilty about however you two can sleep now.

Best of luck!
J

I completely understand what you are going through. This happened with both of my boys (4 1/2 & 21 months). They both had severe belly problems and could not lay down flat on their backs. The ONLY way I was able to sleep was to sleep on the couch all night for the first 3 - 4 months with both. We tried lifting up the bassinet with books and pillows for both and nothing worked. They slept better on their stomachs at a slant upward which happen to be me. :) The blessing is that it is short term and it bonds you closser to them. They both started sleeping in the bassinet after those first few months. I hope this helps. Good luck and sweet dreams!

My first suggestion is bunting. Take a blanket, fold into a triangle. Put baby in center of triangle with straight edge at baby's shoulders. Cross sides across the front and tuck ends under on both sides. Tuck tightly but with room to breathe. This snug feeling allowed my kids to sleep really soundly. Also, put baby in bassinette in your room at first then over time, move bassinette farther from you and into baby's room. Also, there are a few things you can do to simulate the comfort your baby gets from sleeping on you. First you can get a heating pad and put it in the bassinette on LOW right before you put the baby down. The other thing is to get a fisher price aquarium or womby bear, a teddy bear that makes heartbeat sounds. The aquarium has music with a steady beat too, we liked it a lot.

I see that you have already gotten some great advice but I wanted to share with you that I slept with my baby in bed with me and my husband until she was 5 months old. It was the only way to get her to stop crying. I know its a big no-no but sometimes you do what you have to do. As long as you are careful and aware of her at all times, it worked for me. Try other suggestions, but do what you have to do.

My son slept with me 'till he was 6 months. The main reason was that he was a premy and he nursed frequently. Once he picked up weight and started eating baby food he slept OK by himself. How did your 16 month do as a newborn? Just be patient. This won't last forever. Hugs. M.

Hi K.-

I do the same thing Heather mentioned but use a scrunched up blanket instead of a pillow. I lay my son down on his side and shove the blanket up behind and under him a little bit so that he feels like someone is cradling him. I also elevated the head of his crib a little bit to help with breathing and reflux. Oh, and I have an air purifier in his room which creates white noise as one of the other moms suggested.

Good Luck,
K.

Ok there are many opinions on this subject. My only advise is do what works for you. I have 4 kids they all slept with us for the first 2 years of their lives. They all sleep in their own beds now and we have no sleep issues. It is called co-sleepng and is more popular than you think. Rolling ove on your baby is only a risk if you are very obese or using drugs that would make you unaware of your baby. Sorry if thsi opens up debates. Like I said before do what works for you.

Good luck and enjoy that little one they change sp fast.

Debra

WOW!!! So many of the moms seem very strong on their opinions whether or not it is a good idea for your son to be in the bed with you. I agree with Karen N, that if you are getting more sleep deprived, your chances are greater of rolling over on your son. My sister is an RN at a pediatric emergency room, and she has seen many babies brought in by EMS trying to save them after their parent has rolled over on them for a short amount of time. She told me that it only takes 15 seconds to smother a baby like that, if you have rolled over onto the baby and don't realize it.

Regardless of the nurturing aspect of co-sleeping, our number one priority as parents is to ensure our children's physical safety. By the sound of your post, you are not wanting to co-sleep anyway because you stated that you do not get good sleep when your baby is in the bed with you. Try a sound machine that mimicks the sound a heart beat. I think that www.onestepahead.com sells one. Also, get an Inclined-To-Sleep positioner from Babies R Us. It is a memory foam wedge that will allow your son to sleep at an incline. It also has 2 side attachments so that your son will not roll off. It will allow your son to sleep on his back or side. I also like the suggestion that Laura S. gave you about the heating pad and think that one is definitely worth trying. GOOD LUCK!!!

K. - you've gotten good advice from everyone. There are lots of opinions out there and different methods...I'll quickly add my two cents. I am pregnant with baby #4 and the method and book that saved me from my fist to my last is "On Becoming Babywise". You still have to tweek it to fit your family and baby, but all of my babies were sleeping through the night at 6 weeks (breastfed). My oldest is 4 and he still sleeps 12 hours at night. We've had no sleep problems with any of our kiddos, and it has saved me so much! I am a better mom because of it! There is not one method that works for everyone, but I do believe this is one of the best out there! Good luck and I hope you get sleep soon! (I had three boys in under three years - so I know what it's like to have them close!) Good luck!

Hi K.,
Rest whenever your baby rests. When your 16 month old toddler goes down for a nap, take your other baby and lay down at the same time. As far as sleeping with your baby, their are SAFE ways to co-sleep. I am attaching an article about it. You have to know how to correctly sleep with your child in order to avoid the risks with co-sleeping.

***I also want to add, if you breastfeed and co-sleep the risks of SIDS is much LOWER than if you were to put a baby in a cradle down the hall. Most cases of SIDS occurs with babies who are in another room, they used to call it crib death for a reason. The doula is correct in her information. Most modernized nations, such as the US who abhors co-sleeping also have the HIGHEST rates of SIDS in the entire world. Over laying, can be avoided if you take the necessary precautions. One more thing, the article about co-sleeping being a no-no is from a consumer group. Guess where they get their funding? From crib manufactures. Conflict of interest anyone?

If you do not want to co-sleep, swaddle your baby and then lay him down,if he arouses put your hand on his back(if he is laying on his side)/belly or pat his back/belly until he drifts off again. You may need to rock him and get him into a good deep sleep before he will stay down. I always did the hand check with my son. I lifted his little arm, and if it fell down with ease and without resistance I knew I could easily put him down. At 5 weeks, especially if he his breastfed, he could be waking because he is hungry and going through a growth spurt.

All in all, if you are sleeping and the baby is sleeping that is what matters. When my son was little, I fell asleep many times with him in bed with me, usually right after nursing him. I was so much more rested when he slept right by me or in his co-sleeper. My son also had abnormal breathing patterns and I am really glad that I read up on the benefits of co-sleeping and baby wake-sleep cycles.
I hope this helps.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/t071000.asp

i had the same problem with my baby. she would wake up and scream as soon as i laid her down. i'd pick her up and instantly be back to sleep. i found out she had severe silent reflux. once she was on medicine she would sleep in her crib. it turned out it was too painful for her to lay down, and was only comfy if i was holding her or she was sleeping on my chest. hopefully you won't have the issue with reflux, but worth checking into if your son has other symptoms. good luck!

K.,

I don't see anything wrong with that. My oldest daughter and son slept on me as well. They slept on my chest at night and during the day...but ohhhhh when it was time for me to go back to work. Babies are much more connected when they are closest to their mother because they've been that way for 36 or more weeks. They have that attachment to their mother. I wouldn't worry about it. It will soon dissipate, you just have to keep working on it.

Just continue to lay him in his bassinet, pin, crib or whatever and place his favorite stuffed animal near him. I'd continue with the pacifier and when you lay him down, try patting and rubbing his back for a few minutes. Sometimes, though, when you stop, they tend to wake back up. Now if that does happen and he doesn't cry...leave him. If he does start crying, put his paci back in his mouth, pat/rub him a bit more. If he's tired enough, he'll go back off to sleep. If he continues to cry once you stop, you may wanna let him cry himself off to sleep. He'll eventually get the message. He'll see you walk off while he's crying and think to himself, "wow, she's gonna just walk off and let me cry." Yes!

It is obvious your child feels more secure sleeping on you. some children will do that. From my experience as a mother of two; my daughter always liked sleeping with me when she was really little. At age two, She ceased sleeping with me and has never had the desire since then. On the other hand, my son slept on the bassinet and then in his crib. He is four years old now and comes to my bed every night. I have tried to make him stay in his own room and still won't.

Maybe you should ask his pediatrician what you should do.

try to 'ween' him of it slowly, I just went through this with my 9 week old... he's getting better everyday. I let him sleep in my arms only when the binky won't comfort him, but it's getting less & less... which I'm so glad, b/c it makes me very nervous. I've had friends who put something of theirs (with your smell on it) in the crib with them. Also, it oculd be acid reflux... that is my babies issue.. he likes to sleep upright, a more angle...try raising his mattress with folded blankets under it, or sleeping him in the carseat (all the buckles buckled, we did this with our first son &it's how he slept through the night) they like the comfort , being more enclosed, so to speak, we even put the carseat in the crib... whatever works.. you could also try the papasan seat... anything that will make him feel more surrounded that just laying on a plain mattress... good luck.

They have this little thing that looks like a big spring cloths pin that you can push the button and it vibrate the cradle or crib and makes a little humming sound. This worked for my son, and when he was a little older, a few months old and in his crib I got him one of those white noise machines, and he would sleep through the night. He just needed those little white noise sounds like when he was in the womb I guess.

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