5 Month Old Won't Sleep Through the Night

Hi T.,
I'm a mom of two kids, ages 13 and 17. Both my kids nursed for several years.

What I discovered with my two kids, was that the less I worried about this, the better it worked for me. I am an advocate of family bed and I slept with my kids for quite some time.

I did appreciate having my own space so I set them up in a bed next to me so I could easily roll over and nurse and then go back to sleep.

With my first, I fought this whole thing a lot more because our society does not support the family bed, night time, nursing etc etc.

With my second it was so much easier because I did not fight it, instead I figured out a way to make it work for me and for the baby.

I can guarantee that your child will not be sleeping with you when they are ready to go to college. ha ha a little bit of humor here.

I think that what worked the best for me was to listen to my heart and see where that took me. Mom's generally have an intuitive sense about these things.

I'm not saying that you should or should not put your child in a crib at night, my advice is to take a good look at what your needs are and what your babies needs are and try to come to some kind of compromise to work it out so that it works for both of you.

I found out that with my second child instead of fighting against the babies need to be close to me, that relishing it, relaxing about it and allow it to take an "organic" course really worked better for me.

The La Leche League has great resources about night time nursing and also Dr. Sears has a great site with wonderful resources for parenting. http://askdrsears.com

I know this is so cliche but, they grow up before you know it and then you look back on that time and you will miss it, at least I do.

All the best to you and your baby.

Regards,
E.

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T.,

I have a 21 month old girl. We moved my daughter to her crib at about 3 or 4 months, and I remember asking this same question to my ped. at your son's age. I remember her telling me to feed her at one of those feedings, maybe the middle one in your case, but to let her fuss it out through the others. I don't know if you are an advocate of the "cry-it-out" theory, but it worked well for our family. My daughter never fussed too long, and she did learn to go back to sleep on her own, quickly discovering she didn't need to wake up and eat. I say quickly, meaning probably a week or so of putting her self back to sleep after fussing awhile, maybe 15-20 minutes at the most. Of course, every babe is different, and maybe that's not something you'd like to try. When I first had my baby, I thought I could never do it, but after reading a few great books, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" being one of my favorites, I decided that getting my little one to be able to soothe herself to sleep would help us all in the long run, and she has been a fabulous sleeper ever since. When all my other mommy friends were complaining about getting up several times per night when their babies were older, I could never complain because mine slept thru from 5 or 6 months from 7pm-7am and still does. Best of luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I can tell by reading all of these responses that you have plenty of advice. I'd take it or leave it, depending on how you want to raise your child. But, if you want more info (especially if you're interested in gentle ways to get your baby to sleep), try www.kellymom.com. I've learned a lot from that site, including info about sleep and growth spurts--and how the two often don't mix. Could be that your LO is needing more from you right now as he is about to reach some major milestones. Your response is up to you, obviously. Try that site though--it continues to help me make my own informed decisions about my little guy.

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Maybe putting the crib thing off for now and trying later might help. I tried when my daughter was 6 mo and she did the same thing but when I tried again at 9 mo she was fine. I think it is harder when they are young because they do not have the "object permanence" knowledge that you will come back. You could try the crying it out but it is definetly not for the faint of heart (I couldn't do it). If the family bed idea works for you there are a lot of moms here that can give you advice on how to make it work. Hope something works out for you and you little guy.

maby you should have him take an early nap, or give him a little extra to eat before bedtime. If that doesnt work you should let him sleep with his bottle.

Hey mom Something I did with my young one at that age was as I was breast feeding and my son was ready to fall asleep I would slip his thumb in his mouth. I waited until he latched on to his thumb before moving. That helped him suckle and gave extra comfort while sleeping. After awhile he developed his own habit of sucking his thumb on his own. I was comforted to know that he did not need a binkie or a bottle to sleep through the night. Good Luck in whatever you choose to do.

My daughter didn't stop waking up 2-3 times a night until I stopped breastfeeding her everytime she woke up (at 14 months). I had to learn to let her fuss a little and she would go back to sleep. She was waking for the comfort, not the hunger. It's not uncommon for a 5 month old to wake several times a night, but he is old enough to cry a little without it being damaging to him. Each child is very different as you are probably finding out so try a few different things and keep an optomistic view. Eventually he will figure it out. My daughter is now 15 months and at the most she wakes once a night a couple times a week. I get up with her, bring her downstairs, check my email and put her back to bed within 10 minutes and she sleeps until a reasonable hour. Good luck!

Hi T.!
You might try moving him into his crib after he falls asleep in your bed. That way he will wake up in his crib and gradually get used to being in there. It may be a long process, but I personally don't care for the cry-it-out method. Do what feels right for you and your son, though!
~J.

Hi Tressa,

When my son was breastfeeding, to ease his separation anxiety, I would place my t-shirt (from that day) on his baby pillow or on his Teddy Bear, that way he could always have my scent close to him.

My first child slept with my husband and I till he was about 3months and then we put his crib up in our bedroom. If he did get up in the middle of the night I would just rock him until he fell asleep and did not feed him so that he would start to realize that just because he wakes up he wasn't go to get to eat. He slept in his crib in our room for another 3 months and then we moved his crib into his own room. I don't know if that will help but it did wonders for us. Good luck!

N. P

Good Morning T....I'm chuckling because this exact same question is on here every week. And if I would have known about this website when my girls were young I would have posted it too! So the good news is that this is a totally normal stage your daughter is going through. You will get lots of responses with different methods. I'm not sure there's a wrong answer really. You just have to find a method that you are comfortable with. I'm a fan of the cry it out method. My pediatrician is the one who told me to do it and he promised me it would take no more than 3 nights and he was right both times. Now, this is not an EASY method because the first night, your baby may cry his eyes out for like 3 hours and you will feel like you are the worst mother ever. But if you can make it through that night, the next night will be half as long and then 3rd night half as long again, etc. Your baby needs to learn to put himself back to sleep and I do know friends who haven't nipped this in the bud at an early age and they CONTINUE to have problems at night and their kids are like 4 and 5 now!

Anyway, if you want more information on this method, feel free to reply back to me and I can walk you through it or be a cyber shoulder to cry on when it seems really hard, etc. I can't say anything about any other methods because this is the only one I tried and it worked both times.

Good luck!

L.

P.S. I'm a 38 y/o sahm to 8 and 5 year old girls who sleep like angels at night (even at other people's houses) and have since 6 mos. old.

Hi T., my name is D. and I am 34 & have four boys, my oldest is 15 and my youngest is 8. I too breast fed all of my boys and they all slept with me because it was easier. I have tried this with my own boys and I have even told a few of my friends that when you feed your son right before bed, try to swaddle him in a blanket. Even though he is five months old, they sometimes need the extra 'security feeling'. I do not know how you feel about a pacifier, but 2 of my boys loved it and the other two didn't. Your son may also just need to suckle and that is where the pacifier comes into play.

Putting him into his crib is a big change for him since he has spent his whole life this far being next to you. Babies need to feel secure, and by your son being in bed with you he has smelt you next to him and he has felt you next to him. So being in his crib without you, is different for him. It isn't a bad thing for him to be in his crib, or to be with you. I would try the swaddling technique and the pacifier, if he takes it. Also when I would swaddle my boys, I would cradle them in my arms and tap their bottom in a rythm beat and they loved that. It also helped them sleep.

Just remember, it is a change for him so maybe try it slowly during the day for naps. Do you have a Boppy? You can put that into his crib also and lay him in it swaddled to see if that helps him feel secure. I hope some of this helps and I hope the best for you.
D. L.
Black Diamond

Read "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It'll get you started. Waking 2-3 times a night is totally normal. Start mentioning it to other mom friends and many will confess that their child wakes up often too.

I'll bet that your son is ready to sleep through the night but just needs some help from you! If he were my child I would make sure that he feeds well during the day, and if he is nearing 6 months, I would feed him a small meal of oatmeal cereal in the evening. Then I'd top him off at his last feeding, and put him in his crib. When he wakes up I would just keep tabs on him, but let him cry until he goes back to sleep. He needs to learn to put himself to sleep, which at this age, he is capable of doing! The first time it might take a 1/2 hour, or maybe a little longer. You can go in after 15 or so, and just pat his tummy/back and say, "night night, ____" That way he knows you're there and that he's okay. When he sounds like he's on his way out, then just make sure that you don't pat him and wake him up. :) He might wake up another time, but just do the same thing. Every time he wakes up the length of fussing should decrease. Pretty soon you'll be sleeping more and you'll wonder how you ever did it before! Good luck!

Go to Oprah.com then in the search section type in "The secret language of babies." This is a book from a woman author who was on her show and worked with 10 mothers to help decipher each of their baby's cry sounds. It was amaxing!!!
Get her book!
An infant cry is the only way they can communicate to us what they need and how they feel. Makes sense huh? Well the show was amazing!!! This woman author taught 10 mothers how to interpret their child's cry...and what different needs each child was trying to convey to them with each cry. Each cry has a different need. EVERY MOTHER was shocked at how this worked! Each cry has a different sound which means a specific need.

I highly recommend you get her book. In fact my 23 year old daughter in school now getting her masters in Oregon in child psychology actually used this book and this knowledge with over 15 babies in a study at the Unsiversity of Oregon with 10 infant crys and it worked!!!! My daughter will continue to convey this knowledge to other mothers once in her career as a child pycologist.
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!

So go to Oprah.com and in the search section at the top of her site...just type in "The secret lauguage of babies"...and up will come soooooooooo much information about it plus a video of mom's and their babies and how this knowledge has changed their lives and the happiness of their child.

Good Luck

D. :-D

My son went through the same thing when we transitioned to his crib. I liked having him in our bed most of the time - it was a lot easier for me, but my husband was always worried the baby would get smashed or fall off.
Anyways, when he woke up in the night, I would wait a few minutes to see if he was just being noisy or if he really needed something. Sometimes he would quiet on his own. If his crying escalated I would go to him, but not automatically start breastfeeding. Sometimes I think he was just cold or otherwise uncomfortable, because he would snuggle with me and go back to sleep. I would only nurse him if he demanded it. After a few weeks of this, he was able sleep for 6-8 hours without a feeding.
After he got older and I knew he didn't need to eat at night, I still got up when he cried, but I didn't pick him up anymore - I would just lay him down and rub his back and hold his hand. We did have to let him cry it out once in a while. It was a gradual process, but he is so good at going to sleep on his own now.
Good luck!

A little about me:
I'm a SAHM of a very active 16 month old who loves to use sign language and play with our dog. I just started selling baby blankets online: www.bigenoughblanket.etsy.com.

try giving him a bottle of water in the night . leave him in his own bed. he is so taken care of by you that he is really taking charge. this is such a hard one to change.

I am in exactly the same situation. I have no idea what to do and would LOVE some advice!

When my son was this age, I started giving him water when he would wake up during the night. After two or three nights of only getting water he started sleeping through the night. I guess he decided it wasn't worth waking up just for some water.

Good luck. I breastfed and co-slept with both my girls. Now I have a 3 year old AND a 9 month old in bed with me. I've heard you have to put them in their crib when they are almost asleep and let them cry it out but it is very hard!

I found a bassinet was a great answer. You put it next to your bed. Then when baby is finished feeding, you put baby in the bassinet. Baby is right next to you, so you don't have to go far. This also trains them to sleep in their own bed later and eliminates stumbling through a dark house in the middle of the night.

it's going to be hard, but the "tough love" routine will work. Let him cry it out if you can, and things will get better in a few days. Or, if someone needs to go in there to comfort, not to feed, have it be your husband. If you go in there, your baby will not go back to sleep w/out eating, since he smells you. Or, try putting a pacifier in his mouth (have your husband do this). That might help him relax.

But definitely talk with your pediatrician. I was feeding my son in the middle of the night until he was around 7 months (he slept through the night after he started crawing), but my daughter slept through the night at 2.5 months. He might just that middle of the night meal, still.

Good luck!

You have gotten a lot of advice, I am not a fan of the CIO at all, so that's where my perspective comes from. www.askdrsears.com has great online information. With our older daughter (2) we had her sleep in her crib in our room when she was 6 months old. (Before that we coslept.) That worked very well for us, b/c when she woke up I could go and do whatever she needed and quickly go back to sleep. She is now in her bed in her own room. Both transitions were fairly smooth. She still wakes up 1 or 2 times a night, but a lot of my friends say their children didn't sleep through the night until they were 2 1/2... even friends who do the CIO meathod.

Now we're in the same stage you are with our second daughter who is 5 months old. She doesn't take a pacifier or suck her thumb, so the easiest thing for me to do at this point is continue cosleeping. We have an Arm's Reach Cosleeper that I am going to work on moving her into so she'll be close if she wakes up at night.

Good luck deciding what to try, and ultimately, do what you have peace about. If you try something and it doesn't sit right with you, it may not be the best decision for your family... even if a doctor or book recommends it.

I rotated my breast feeding nightgowns so that the oldest and smelliest went into the crib before it was washed. Felt like Mom, smelled like Mom and milk.

I haven't had this problem but my sister did. She gave her daughter a bottle of warm water whenever she would wake up at night. She would cry a bit, but after just a few nights of this, she wasn't waking up anymore. Good luck. There is a book that I used and like called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

Hi T.,

Have you tried giving your baby a pacifier? Our 8 month old girl uses it to soothe herself to sleep every night. Something else we use to help her sleep is the sleep sheep which has sounds that remind babies of the womb, very soothing.

Liz W.