5 Month Old Still Not Sleeping Through the Night

Hi sweetie,
Whoever told you that you and baby would be sleeping thru the night by now set you up for disappointment. Big time. There are toddlers that don't even sleep thru the night. Which, BTW, is only considered to be a 5-6 hours stretch. Not a 12 hour, 7p.m. to 7a.m. stretch. Sure, there are some babies that do that. But that's not the norm. What's normal, especially during the first year, is for baby to wake often and need help getting back to sleep. Parenting does not end at sundown. Sure, you're tired and ready to call it a night, but baby still needs you and may be more needier than she is during the day. I, personally, could not let my baby cry himself to sleep. I think it's cruel. Plus it doesn't really work. There is no such thing as "self-soothing" in a baby. That's garbage. They simply are not able to self sooth, that's what mommy and daddy are for. Trust me, you'll have an independent toddler running around in the blink of an eye, and as hard as these times are right now, your sleepless nights will not last forever.
I can tell you my experience. My baby did not sleep well or much at all the first year, nursed constantly, slept in our bed, napped horrible, woke often, yet we never let him cry himself to sleep and we always responded to him, never stuffed him full of solids at bedtime. Basically everything people will tell you not to do. At over age 2 now, he sleeps great. In his own bed or in ours. He can do both easily.
Here are some links with some good reading. I work with new moms and I always share these same links and have gotten good feedback. Good luck and best wishes!!

Newborn Babies and Sleep
http://www.kellymom.com/pantley/pantley03.html

Sleeping Thru The Night
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html

8 Infant Sleep Facts Every Parent Should Know
http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp

31 Ways to Get Your Baby to go to Sleep and Stay Asleep
http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp

Co-Sleeping: Yes, No, Sometimes?
http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

Sleep Problems: Answered!
http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T071100.asp

Studies on Normal Infant Sleep
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleepstudies.html

1 mom found this helpful

I would try a much earlier bedtime- say around 6:30 or 7:00 at the latest. You will probably be afraid that the earlier bedtime will cause her to wake up in the middle of the night, but the opposite is true. If babies go to bed overtired, they wake up at night. Simple as that....
My son is 22 mos old, and even now he is in bed by 8:00. Any later and he wakes up at night and has trouble getting to sleep. Just move everything back a couple of hours and see how it goes. When he was 5 mos old, we were starting his bedtime routine at at 6:30, with him being in the crib by 7:00. After doing this a few days, he was sleeping 12 hours a night. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Maybe she's waking up because she just needs love and snuggles. There's nothing wrong with that. My 24 month old is a light sleeper and she has only slept through the night once, but we're still well rested. Sometimes it's much easier to trust that your baby has a reason for waking up and just go with the flow rather than try to meet expectations that might not be reasonable for your child since every baby is different.

1 mom found this helpful

I have a 5 month old as well. She's been sleeping through the night since 5 weeks old. Now she sleeps from 7 pm to 7 am. I don't claim to know all the answers, all I can tell you is what I do/did. I'd suggest the book "On Becoming Babywise - Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep" or more commonly known as just "Babywise". I followed a lot of the recommendations in this book for teaching your baby how to sleep. Don't feel bad if you have to let your baby cry it out a night or two. Feel good that you are doing the very best thing for your child by teaching them to be a good sleeper. Take from the book, what you like and leave what you don't.

The basics are:
1. Feed your baby (during the day) on a strict three hour feeding schedule (same schedule everyday). Such as: 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm & 10pm. (until they are sleeping through the night then you may try a 4 hour schedule and see if they keep sleeping through the night)
2. When they do eat, make sure they get a full feeding (no snacking). Keep them awake any way you need to until they take in a full feeding. No eating 1 or 2 ounces and falling asleep.
3. The daytime routine should go: feeding time then awake/play time, then nap time. (i.e. no falling asleep right after eating) Except for your last evening feeding you feed then put them straight to bed.
4. Middle of the night feedings (if any) should be very quiet, in a dark room, no stimulation, then straight back to sleep.
5. Try not to get them dependent on any one thing to get them to sleep (i.e. rocking, holding, sleeping with you, on top of the dryer in the carseat). That way when your child wakes up in the night (which all people do) they can go back to sleep on their own.

When my daughter was 5 weeks old I was feeding her on a 3 or 4 hour schedule during the day. She kept waking up at 2am every night. I switched to a strict 3 hour schedule during the day (and was getting one extra feeding in) and instantly she stopped waking up at 2am. I was like DUH! It made it so obvious! She had been waking up in the night to get that extra feeding (the feeding I wasn't offering her during the day).

1 mom found this helpful

Hi M.,

You might try asking your doctor at the next well visit his or her views on how to help you with the feeding/sleeping issue. Depending on your daughter's weight, she may not need that middle-of-the-night feeding anymore, and the doctor can probably help you determine the best feeding schedule during the daytime to help get her the amount of food/milk she needs. I take it that you probably need some longer sleep hours yourself with working full-time (I was right there with you, M.!) I used the Ferber method, but only after my doctor cleared it with both of my babies' weights. Perhaps you could put her to bed a little later, giving a last bottle feeding, and putting her down in the crib when she is still a little groggily awake. Read about the Ferber method and what it entails - there are different ways to do this method, and you can pick which one works for you, with your doctor's blessing. There are other books some moms have mentioned in this forum that they say helps a baby sleep without crying - perhaps you could check those out as well.

By the way, my babies both slept from 9:00 at night to 6:00 in the morning without waking unless they were sick. My first child started this just before 6 weeks old, and my second at 8 weeks, both with my doctor's blessing and direction. They were both healthy boys, and I got enough sleep as a mom to be a good mother and work fulltime. I made this choice because I could not be a good employee or a good mother without enough sleep. Kudos to the moms who can do it all, even in the middle of the night, and more power to 'em, but as an older first-time mom, I couldn't. That didn't mean I didn't love my children - it meant that I could be a better mom when I was with them and we could all get sleep during the night. It also kept me from getting fired from my job, which we couldn't afford financially to happen at that time. This is my experience - all babies are different, and you may not have that experience with your daughter. Some babies are extremely restless and can't seem to self-soothe, and perhaps will not sleep well all through childhood. My boys became good sleepers once they weighed enough to not need a night feeding and once they learned to soothe themselves. So you know from at least one mom out here in the internet world that it is possible. It took only 4 nights each for them to get used to it once I started the Ferber method - that's all. They've slept like rocks in their own beds ever since (except for one spot when I started laying down with my oldest when I was pregnant - big mistake!) Except for that one blip, it was smooth sailing and now they are 15 and 13 years old, still sleeping like rocks at night.

Many mothers in and out of this forum have had the experience of their babies being able to self-soothe - it's not garbage, as a mother of one young child said in this thread. However, not every parent wants to go through the difficulty of helping their baby learn self-soothing. Some parents prefer the family bed, nursing on demand, carrying their babies all the time, etc. To each his and her own - it's the parents' decision what they want to do, and they shouldn't be made to feel like people are trying to force any particular method on them. Helping babies sleep on their own isn't always easy, no matter what method you use - co-sleeping isn't always easy either. Whatever you choose, give it at least 2 weeks without giving up, because if you are wishy-washy about it, it doesn't make sense to try it at all. You have to be consistent if you want it to have a chance at working.

So go see your doctor for professional advice, and decide what you can personally do. After you've researched the different methods and your doctor has given you the go-ahead, then decide what is right for you and your daughter. Good luck!
All my best,
D.

1 mom found this helpful

she is growing, and she needs to eat when she wakes up. sleeping through the night is six hrs in a stretch. she sounds like a great sleeper. my oldest woke every four hours, until she was weened at a year. my son is 13 months old now, and he still has nights were he wakes up to eat. it takes an incredible amount of calories for your little one to grow and develop, and sometimes they just cant get them all in during the day. she is just not ready to sleep through the night yet.

1 mom found this helpful

I am so sorry, I know you are exhausted! One thing that helped me was the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child." The hard part is finding time to read it when you are sleep deprived! The most important point that I took from the book is that sleep begets sleep and the more sleep they get during the day, the more they will sleep at night.

Our son is not the world's greatest sleeper, but he is six months and he broke his first teeth at 5 months and started to sleep much better after that happened. I think he was uncomfortable until that point which kept him from sleeping well. That is just my theory.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

i hope when you say milk you mean formula because babies need to be on formula for 1 whole year even if you are feeding them cereal too. they also need to be feed every 3 hours starting from the time you "start" the feeding. some pediatricians say differently but mine said every 3 hours. also if you feed her at 9pm and put her to sleep and she wakes up at 3am that is already 6 hours. if you feed her again at 12am then she should wake up at 6am. i would be really strick with the 3 hour feedings during the day. also i would check with your pediatrician to find out how many total ounces of formula she should be drinking per day so you can see if she is drinking enough at each feeding. i am sure the day will come when you can put her to bed at 9pm and she sleeps until 6am but 5 months is still so young.