4Yr Old Having Trouble Learning Abc's & 123'S

Hi V.,

There is a possibility that your daughter is dyslexic. I am not a teacher, however, I too am dyslexic. Perhaps you could check with the teachers at you other daughter school for suggestions to help her. Check your area for resorces. It is a good thing you caught it now. She see things backwards. This can be corrected with time. She need for you not to get upset with her. M.

1 mom found this helpful

Tip #1 she's still just a baby let her enjoy playing and don't stress out too much. She will learn them soon enough. My sister's daughter didn't start speaking until 4 and she didn't have any learning disabilities once she did. Some kids are just late bloomers. Truthfully, she may not care much about learning right now. One thing you can do is make sand paper letters and let her feel them. Some kids learn easier with visuals and manipulatives. This is what Montessori uses with children, I used this with my children and they loved it.

Honestly, I'm not trying to be mean, but I think people stress on children learning too much too soon. The best thing you can do to help her learn is spend lots of time with them and read to them every single day. Sit her on your lap and read. Enjoy your time with her while she is young. There will be time to get her help if she does have a learning disability, but I think we as a society push our kids too much too soon. She will get it when she's ready. I have three kids and they all learned differently. Some kids just are very creative and think outside the box. My oldest is an honor student, I have never pushed her to go into honors classes. My middle child I would venture to say is just as smart but she doesn't push herself as much. She is very creative and thinks way outside the box. I encourage them to be themselves, and don't focus on grades because I know testing doesn't really measure intelligence, some are very poor test takers. However, if I see grades dropping and I know they can do the work and are being lazy then I would try to figure out what is going on. Another suggestion is that maybe her eyes need tested. I had to have glasses by kindergarten because I could not see the board. Maybe she is seeing your E as an A because of her eyesight. I know it is hard to test them at this age, but I did take mine in at four. She didn't know her letters yet either, but she knew her sounds and sounded them out for the eye dr.

Sorry, this is so wordy. All of this is just to say, relax and enjoy your child she is still young. Enjoy your time with her. I think reading is the best method of teaching you can ever do for your child. If you point out the words as you read it will start clicking in eventually. And try to give each child the same amount of individual time as you can. We do days out with our children, one on one time with that child only. One Sat. it may be with the oldest one and dad, the next the middle, then the youngest, then I start my turn with the oldest, next weekend with the middle then the youngest. Once I asked one of my children how do you know that we love you. The answer was because you take us on days out and spend time alone with us! I was so shocked and quited excited to hear that. Of course we don't do it every weekend and it has been awhile since we have done it, sometimes a month or so will go by, but it is important to them.

And please don't guage her learning by your eldest. We often compare our children too much too. They all learn so very differently, remember what worked for your oldest may be way off for your second born. They are totally different children and will learn differently. It is way too easy to compare we all do it even when we try not to. You are SO SMART TO QUIT before you are upset and frustrated!!! Keep up the good work, you are a wonderful mom.

Philippians 4: 6 & 7 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God, and the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Casting all your cares upon Him for he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7 These are versus I often need to remind myself because I often get so worried about things instead of trusting God and leaving them in his hands.

Take care and God Bless You.
K.

She is only four. My guess is she is just a free spirit and doesn't really care! But if you are worried, just talk to your doctor about it. I wouldn't get too crazy over it at this age. All kids learn at different paces. And they say it doesn't matter if your kid knows ABC's and a whole bunch of other things early on -- they all catch up to the little kids whose parents think they are little genius's. Maybe you could take the pressure off "learning" and just kind of sing the song or point letters out once in a while, but not make it an obvious learning thing where she may read your frustration and you don't even know it. Good luck!

Make sure you are clear on what is appropriate for her age. I've been told that letters being written backward (on occasion) is normal up until 2nd grade. Also, there is so much pressure to "get ahead" that you may feel like she's a late bloomer when really she is just on schedule for her. One thing I found for my daughter when she was home was a Princess Alphabet book with tablet lines in it to practice writing. Now, she didn't always follow the rules, or get things exactly right, and sometimes she just colored, but she at least looked at it daily and was interested in the letters. Another idea is to just work on one letter at a time. Spend a week recognizing "E" and label things in the house that begin with E (though another letter might be easier). Finally, keep in mind that depending on where she goes to school eventually, their technique might differ from knowing the abcs. My daughter did know her abcs by the time she went to Kindergarten at 5 1/2; however, her school teaches phonograms (the sounds of the letters) rather than the letters themselves, so she was basically starting from scratch anyhow. Enjoy your time with her, don't make it work. I understand the power of early intervention if there is indeed a problem, but 4 still seems so young to be getting worried. Yes, there are some who can do it already, but that doesn't mean your daughter is delayed. Good luck.

I also have a 4-year-old who is totally uninterested in learning letters. Do you know how much time I've spent worrying about it? Not even 2 seconds. My first child was very interested when she was three. My second, not until she went to Kindergarten and is now a top reader. There is absoutely nothing wrong with your Erika - She's 4 and not interested yet. That's all there is to it!

I agree about the Leap Frog DVD Letter Factory. My son learned all of his letters and the sounds they make by age 2 1/2 from watching that DVD. And then to keep him in practice I bought the letter factory magnetic letters which when pushed sings the same catchy song that the DVD does. Don't worry. Sometime soon it will all click for her, and she'll learn them quickly once that time comes. The most important thing is to consistently read to her. It will all work out.

C.

V., I wouldn't be treebliy concerned with it. I have tought preschool for ten years. Some children just are not interested/ready yet. As for her writing and the backward letters, these are common well in to early elementry school. If you would like her to write her name, say on teh top of a coloring page, I reccomend writing it in yellow highlighter then she trace it. This helps reinforce the letter shape, her name, and fine motor skills while allowing for the fact that they may not know what the letter is yet. Hope this helps.

My son had a hard time w/ reading just recently. He is in the 1st grade. He knew all the concepts, he was having a hard time putting them together. She may not be ready for it. I think if you teach her the concepts and make it fun, w/o pushing her, it will eventually all click for her.

I agree with alot of the responses. Kids are ready when they are ready. And pushing it will just make it worse. My son is kindof the same way. At the beginning of the school year he knew two letters (J, D-because his name is JD but when asked he always says the letter J is a D, very frustrating I know) Anyway, I found a book called The Preschoolers Busy Book. It not only has alot of arts/crafts activities but activities to help them learn math, writing, and the alphabet. Some things we do are the name game. You write each letter of their name on an index card and they have to line them up correctly. Once he mastered JD we added on the last name. Also, we play a game called X's and O's. Where at the top of the page I write a letter. And then you make columns of all different letters on the bottom of the page (kindof reminds me of an eye chart) anyway he goes thru and X's any of the wrong ones and circles the ones that are the same as the letter up top. You can try these but keeping it fun always helps!

You are going to get all sorts of different advice here, but the best I can say is: Relax. Be patient. She isn't ready. You'll know when she is.

As for dyslexia -- they don't label kids until at least age 6 (I had my daughter tested at 5, so I know from experience. FYI they stated "she has strong dyslexic tendencies").

My middle daughter did similiar things with identifying letters and it was SO frustrating! Making it harder still, she is only 16 months younger than her extremely "gifted" big sister.

She really struggled with the alphabet and EVERYTHING was written mirror-image. She also had a very difficult time learning the sounds.

When she started school, I was really worried. She seemed very behind. She also had no sight recall. For example, she had to sound out the word "Bob" on every single page of the Bob books which have simple text like "Bob sat. Bob ran...".

It really isn't that big of a deal unless they make it through 1st grade and still aren't doing well. First grade really "clicks" for a lot of kids. You should see the reading test scores of kids that come in "behind" in first grade. Most of them catch up during the year. And if the teacher knows your concerns, s/he will step it up.

We just kept reading to her. We did surround her with letters (bathtub foam letters, refrigerator letters, I even took a labeler and labeled things around the house). But I tried very hard not to push her because I didn't want her to feel my frustration, or pressured or have a self-esteem issue.

Currently, she is in 2nd grade and reading well! She has met the end of the year standard. To this day, Bs are backward unless at the beginning of a word -- but it isn't hurting her ability to learn.

And, on the positive side, she has "gifts" her analytical sister doesn't. She has an incredible imagination and could draw and color better than most her age.

If everyone thought/learned/saw the world the same way... what a boring world it would be.
Best of luck!

(I always seem to respond before reading others, so sorry if I'm doubling up..)
Seeing a letter and naming it is a pretty high-level concept for someone who's struggling. As is writing her own name from scratch. If you have those letter magnets or the bath stickies or something, put a few up and have her find "A." Then, other letters. Show her with those how to spell her name. Or write a few names, have her pick out her own. Another little tool is that Leap Frog alphabet thing where you put the letter piece on the face of it and a letter song plays. I would start with manipulatives like that, then move onto the 2-dimensional writing, reading, identifying.

I'm not an expert, besides having two children ages 5 and 7, but it seems like your daughter is exactly where she is supposed to be at her age. If it were up to me, I'd leave the teaching to the teachers and just enjoy playing with your daughter.

My child is 6 and has some problems in that category to. We got her flash cards that she can color as well as say because children learn through playing. They are called "I LOVE YOU FLASH CARDS" and I think I got them at Wal mart but if you can't find them there then maybe they have a web site?

Hi, V.. It sounds a little like dyslexia, but i'm not positive. You can go to azdyslexia.com to find out more about it. There's a center in AZ that does testing and teaches you how work w/it. The sooner you find out the easier it is for the student and teacher:). It might also be posibile she's just not ready.
Good Luck :>)

My daughter is 8 years old and in the 3rd grade. When she was in preschool, she really struggled to learn her letters and the sounds they make. In March of that year, her teacher said that she would not be ready to start kindergarten in the fall unless she learned her letters (or even showed an interest in it!). She didn't turn 5 until August, so she was going to be a young kindergartener. I just kept working with her and so did her teacher. She just didn't seem interested...until August, about 3 weeks before school started. All of a sudden she decided that she wanted to know what that letter on that sign was and what sound it made, etc. So in the next few weeks we worked on letters whenever we could and she learned them and started kindergarten just fine. She continues to do fine in school. I don't know if this helps or not, but you're not alone! Good luck!

Have you tried taking her to places that are fun and asking her what the name of something starts with? Like maybe the zoo, or park? It is not uncommon for children to write letters backwards at the beginning when they are learning. And she is only 4, and the younger of two. Sometimes, because a child is the younger one, things are done for them and they don't "need" to learn certain things right away. Later on, when she is in school and older, if she is still writing letters backwards, you may want to test her for dyslexia, which they have wonderful teaching tools for today.

Believe me, as a former kindergarten teacher, your child is not behind. Sure some kids start kindergarten knowing their ABCs and can write their name, but it's about 1/2. Instead of drilling your child, teach at "teachable moments." A little bit here and there when it comes up. You are right- if you push too hard she will resist. She will get her name eventually. Also, it is actually more important for children to know the sounds of the letters instead of the names; that is the skill you need for sounding out for reading and writing. Create a literature rich environment where she sees print a lot, especially her name. Last thing- even children in 2nd grade (I taught 2nd grade last year) print some letters backwards, especially s, e, b, d, p, q. Just by being concerned about it shows that she will be fine.

I have done child care for 20 years and have seen this many times. It can be frusterating. I have alphabet cards on the wall for the kids at their eye level in their play area. They run their fingers on them, look at the pictures and see them every day even when I am NOT working with them on the alphabet. That really helps. I got mine at Lakeshore Learning. The cards are 6 x 8 and has a picture and letter on each one.

We used to play a game with the cards taking turns I would say "Go touch the letter B" and then "go find the letter F" and so on. The kids loved doing it. There are some kids who can identify them that way but then if you ask them "what letter is this?" They don't know. One little girl I was watching was having a particularly hard time learning her letters. We were playing that game one day and she was doing fairly well so I thought she was finally getting it. So, I told her "go find the letter D" and she ran over and put her hand on the letter D. I praised her and said "that is great! Now tell me what letter that is again." She looked at it for a good long time and said "um... A?" AAAAAHHHHH!

You are doing a good job by exposing your daughter and trying to teach her. That is more than many parents do. Especially since you work outside the home, too! Just keep exposing her to the letters and reading to her. Reading to her will really help, too. She will get it eventually. Many kids start kindergarten with no real grasp on the letters.

Try not to get mad at her either. That will just cause anxiety about it and then she will learn to not like doing it. This will carry over to reading, too. If you feel yourself getting irritated or exasperated I would stop that activity and do something different.

Good luck.

She could have a learning disability or she could just have a dynamic with you that blocks her making certain cognitive "leaps" with you. Ask one of your other children to try and do some letter games with her. Sometimes children learn best from other children. And don't worry about it so much. She may just be a late bloomer with her letters. Mix in numbers and colors during your games to help it along.

If you are still worried about a learning disability like dyslexia then go see a specialist. Your pediatrician may have some references.

Leapfrog has a video called "Letter Factory." I highly recommend it!

V.,
First of all let me commend you on your efforts with your child, you are doing an amazing job. I have been homeschooling my two children for 8 years. I was a public school teacher for 11 years. I would not consider your daughter a late bloomer. I have recently come across a program you might be interested in it's called the Scaredy Cat Reading System. I would have bought it if my children were younger. If you want to learn more about them, here's their website www.Teach4Mastery.com. I haven't used it personaly but they sent me a DVD talking about their program. Again you are doing a tremendous job with your 4 year old. Remember don't compare her to what anyone else can do they are all different and learn in different ways. What works with one will not work for the other. I hope this helps you.
A.

i suggest getting her eyes checked, my son was having similar issues and now that he has glasses all is well.
also, you may want to consider teaching phoenitcally. it is so much easier to learn to read with phoentics. instead of singing abc (the names of the letters) try singing (and calling) the letters by how they sound. sing ah, buh, ca, etc.
then they can begin to put the sounds together to spell simple words like cat, dog, sit, sat, etc.
good luck, i know how frusterating it can be.

I would say don't push it. She will learn when she is ready. By putting so much emphasis on it, it is no longer fun for her (or you!). Right now her main job is to learn the world through play. It is perfectly normal for her NOT to know these things yet. I would just stop trying to push her at the moment and just keep reading to her. When she is ready she will let you know.

Boy, can I relate to this! I am 30 years old and we have a 7 year old, a 6 year old, and a 4 year old. My first two children knew their alphabet and each letter by sight well before they turned two years old. Sam turned 4 in November and I was beginning to think he'd never learn a THING! I've tried everything that you mentioned doing with your little girl (and several other approaches), with no results whatsoever. I finally accepted the fact that Sam just wasn't ready yet. Not because he's not smart enough (he's a real wiz, actually, and sometimes very philosophical), but because he's not genuinely interested yet. When the interest is there, the learning comes quick and easy. I homeschool my children and didn't want to make him hate school before we even got started, so I decided to back off and give him his space for a while. God made little boys to be running around outside in a cowboy hat, finding bugs and catching bad guys--not slaving over a school book or flashcards, having things drilled into them that their little minds aren't interested in. So I stopped stressing out about our resident "dunce." In the past few weeks he has begun WANTING to be involved in school time and ASKING about his letters. He still doesn't recognize them individually, but he's crazy about the SOUND that each letter makes. If I tell him "'F' says 'fffff'," he'll spend the next 5 minutes saying, "F-f-f-f-fish! F-f-f-f-fun! F-f-f-f-fan!" And so on. So since that's the part he's interested in, that's the part I'm going with! We work on sounds now and we'll recognize the letters that make them later on. It's easier on the mom AND the kid when you realize that the world isn't going to end if they aren't reading by age 5. They've got the rest of their lives to learn those things and they'll learn sooooo fast... when THEY are ready! So my advice is: RELAX. One of these days she'll come running up to you and say, "Hey, Mom--what's the letter?" And you'll only have to tell her once. :-)

Consequently, my son still draws some of his letters backwards and often writes the same 4 or 5 over and over again. Don't worry about it. They're only 4, right?! If they've got a mom who cares enough to TRY to teach them something, then they're on the right track--and better off than most kids nowadays! ;-)

Okay, take a deep breath and RELAX!! Children are all over the map at age 4. She is totally normal, and may make some of her letters backward until age 6. If you don't push her, stay calm, and keep it fun... she will very likely turn out just fine. The public school system has redefined "standards" and they are not always true to age appropriateness. If she turns out to be labeled with a learning disorder, please don't use it as a crutch. With patience and consistency, she can work herself out of it.

Here's a suggestion that we used with my daugher for her to learn her colors. We would have 1 day that was a "pinktabulous day". As many thing as we could find that were pink, we'd put in front of her.

My daugher is 4 1/2 and we are going though the same thing. Part of her incorrect answers is just guessing for attention, though.

Hello! I am a preschool teacher so I think I may be able to help you a little. First of all, don't be worried that she doesn't write her name or writes it backwards. This is very common with children ages 4-6. Also, throw away the letter flash cards...they are very boring and won't do much. If she is not having fun she is NOT learning. There is an awesome program out there called Handwriting Without Tears. You don't have to go out and buy it but just use the concept. Teach her how to form the letters with fun stuff like play dough, salt in a tray, shaving cream, frosting, you get the idea. She will learn how to form the letters in a fun way and then before you know it she will be recognizing them. Remember though...she is only four. Take it at her pace. I have a student who didn't know anything (colors, letter, shapes or even recognizing her own name at the begining of the year) now she is really making progress. I don't think this is because I am some "awesome, super-dooper" teacher...it's because I make her learning FUN!!! Good luck!

There is a movie made by leap frog- its called letter factory. Its 20 minutes long- really cute and she will learn not only what each letter looks like but also what sound it makes. My daughter and two of her friends all have learned their letters this way-- only warning- is that you will find yourself singing the songs from it!

Can your daughter recognize entire words? By four, most children recognize certain common words as if they were photos. For example, they recognize "stop" as part of the "design" of a stop sign. This is less abstract for them than recognizing individual letters.

I'm going to disagree with just about everyone here and say that you should evaluate her for a learning disability. She may not have a problem, but you need to know about any problems now.

The one thing that is NOT part of a learning disability is the "guessing every letter BUT A" part. My daughter, (who has a learning disability,) used to do that because she couldn't believe that something about reading and writing that comes to her easily could be right! In other words, she struggled so much with some things that she assumed that EVERYTHING about language would be hard. She didn't trust her first instinct. So the "guessing every letter BUT A" could be a confidence issue.

Hi V.- Before becoming a SAHM I was a reading reading specialist. I really don't think you should worry. I think you should back off and let her tell you when she is ready. Since she is interested in her name start with those letters. I would only put a few letters out at a time. A child needs an item repeated several hundred times before they actually learn it. From there I would go with things she is intersted in. If she likes the moon, show her Mm. Is she lovers horses, show her H. Make it so she thinks she is playing and not learning. I would not push the writing either. This is harder because she doesn't have the fine motor control yet. Maybe work on devloping her fine motor skills with small puzzle pieces, coloring & drawing, picking up small objects.
She is still young. Don't worry. It will come but all children develop at different rates. She is not a late developer. She will learn a lot of this in Kindergarten.
Just keep reading to her and emersing her in books. That is the best gift you can give to help her with her literacy skills.
Have you tried the Leap Frog magnetic letters? They say th sounds for each letter and are great.

Dear V. - I have been brooding about this, not knowing if I should respond, but I woke up this morning thinking I would be remiss if I didn't.
Of course it is possible that your daughter has a learning disability, but frankly, developmentally speaking, most children are not really ready to learn abstracts until age 6 or 7. Many kids do "learn" their letters at an earlier age, but it is not necessarily a learning that has meaning. How does "A" relate to "apple", really?
Before I go farther, let me say that I am speaking form experience as a children's librarian for 30 years and now as a kindergarten teacher (and a mother and grandmother). And yes, my one child had serious learning obstacles.
I like the gardening metaphor. Your job as a loving mother is to prepare rich soil, both for your child's soul enrichment and for preparation for academics later. Lots of stories and Mother Goose rhymes and imaginative play and nature walks(and as little media as possible.) Flash cards for little ones remind me of buying forced, leggy plants that already are setting small fruits from a greenhouse instead of looking for plants with dark green leaves, sturdy stems, and a good root system. Weed trees grow fast. An oak takes its time.
If you foster a rich and playful orality in your child, then your child will have more pleasure in language. If she does have learning problems that show up later, she will have a much richer background to draw on. And you , as a loving mother, will be much more attuned to subtleties in her learning process.
My best wishes to you and your family. Jill

Hi V.,
My son learned the alphabet by watching "The Letter Factory" video by Leapfrog. I had tried teaching him on my own but wasn't making much progress. The video was suggested to me by a woman I met at the park one afternoon. He knew it within a few days. It was amazing. Definitely worth a try. Good luck.

Just as a precursor to my response, I am a Master's level professional working at a preschool through one of our local school districts. Congratulations - it sounds like you have a perfectly normal child. She's doing a lot of things that are spot-on for her age. Kids are supposed to learn their letters as well as letter-sound correspondence in kindergarten. Granted, it seems a lot of children are now taught these things ahead of time, but that doesn't mean your child is behind if she's not yet doing them.

If you're truly concerned and want to give her a head-start, contact a kindergarten teacher at the school she'll be attending when she turns five. Ask what curriculum they use at the school to introduce letters and their corresponding sounds. Ask if there's any parent resources or copies of the curriculum at a local teacher store. For example, our district uses Zoo Phonics, so the kids learn lower case letters paired with animal pictures as well as a movement for each sound that is made. There's also a corresponding song that brings music into the mix. The varied approach to learning targets all different learning styles. Also, maybe try focusing on one letter at a time for a couple of weeks and doing fun activities related to that letter and its sound. A simple activity is to put some shaving cream outside on the back patio and simply practice drawing the targeted letter in the shaving cream over and over. Or do the same in the sand box at the park. She can decorate a contruction paper cut-out of the letter. Look for items at the grocery store that start with the target letter or sound. Beware of drilling - learning is supposed to be from exposure to appropriate simuli at this age, not drill-work or flash cards. And it absolutely should be fun for her. Remember, kids learn best through play.

V.,
My child is only one so I haven't gotten to this point in development yet, BUT- I am a 4th grade teacher and I see kids with learning disabilities all the time. I don't know if your daughter has any learning problems, but I do know that the earlier a problem is detected and treated the easier school will be for her later on. Talk with your pediatrition for a referral to a specialist to get her tested. This can help ease your mind if nothing is detected and they can recommend strategies to help her either way.
Good luck and keep being positive- even if she has a problem there are MANY resources available these days to help her, and you, overcome them.

Parents and some teachers like to use flash cards to teach children. Children not only don't like rote memory exercises but it is difficult to learn for life that way and is a very lower level thinking skill. Start from what she knows, like her name. Teach her the letters of her name. Then go to other things she sees spelled alot like stop signs, street signs, cereal boxes. Right now it is mostly important that she recognizes the letters. Make the letter and number shapes in all kinds of mediums. playdough, soap, fingerpaint, rice box, anything tactile. Teach her to count objects using one to one correspondence before teaching her the numeral. If she understands number concepts it will be easier to learn the numeral.