4Th Grade and Not Medicating -- How to Deal with the School?

C.,
I have a son who is in 9th grade and is adhd. He scores too high academically for the iep but because of the adhd diagonis is considered other health impaired. That way he gets help with what he needs. The person who mentioned special seats (sisel) My son used that but around 4th grade he was more concerned about fitting in socially and did not want anything to make him stick out from the other students. After talking with the teacher, she allowed him to get out of his seat when he felt the need to move. When he received OT we learned that there is a chemical released in your body while there is compression on your joints, that helps to keep you calm. The teacher would allow him to stand at his desk to work if he was extra fidgetty. The most important thing is that you get a teacher who will work with you. We have had it both ways and a teacher who doesn't want to work with you will make your year seem like 10 years.
We have tried homeschooling when he just couldn't take some of the stuff at school (middle School 1 year) but he asked to go back to school for high school, I think he misses the activities there. (he had a lot of activities when we kept him home but he wanted the high school experience.) I had a meeting with the spec. ed. person at the hs and I think we can make this work.
If you have any other questions feel free to email me ____@____.com

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Hi C.,
First I want to say that your love and concern for your son are so apparent by your letter, and he is lucky to have such great support and advocacy from his mother! I am wondering what your husband thinks. Since you are a teacher, you may be familiar with John Taylor Gatto, who was a NYC teacher for 30 years and a NYC and NY state teacher of the year. If you google his name, you will find an article from 2003 called "Against Schools". He also has written books, such as Dumbing Us Down and A Different Kind of Teacher. I recommend reading his books if you haven't already, and I would also read books by John Holt, such as Why Children Fail. He was also a school teacher who became an advocate for homeschooling. Based on your letter, if there is any way at all that you could stay home and educate your child, I would do it. I strongly believe that in some cases, keeping your child out of school is a life and death matter. Trust your intuition above all, which seems to be telling you that your son will suffer if he goes back to school. His progress over the summer is your "sign", if you are looking for one, of what is best for him. Pray about it too, even if you don't pray. For the legs, I would suggest a homeopathic medicine called Restful Legs, which I take myself for Restless Leg Syndrome. It may help, along with doing yoga stretches before bed. Get him to a yoga class. As for medications, your intuition told you that your son's ADHD was the result of your divorce. Again, trust you gut feeling. 4 years old is too young, in my opinion, for a diagnosis of ADHD to have been given, and now he is stigmatized by it, and you will probably be pressured by the school to give him meds. Whatever you decide, have faith, courage, and confidence. God Bless!!

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What is a 504?

Will getting a letter from his doctor saying he needs some extra physical time to function better in the classroom help?

Also, contact the teacher and see if you can get together and talk about your child. My son has an IEP and I contacted the teacher and set up a time to meet her and have my son see his classroom and where he was going to sit in the week before school started. While my son walked around the room I spoke with the teacher about the concerns I had.

Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

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Hi C.,

Being the mother of a special needs child who is also employed by the school system he attends, I can understand you situation. The attitude I decided to adopt was that my child came first and that the school system I work for would be insanr to fire me for fighting for my child, it would not be a good PR move and I would make it an issue if I had to. Not that I cherrish the thought of doing that, but I mentally prepared myself in case it was necessary.

My advice would be to push for a 504 plan and incorporate sensory breaks into his school day (i.e. swinging, jump on a trampoline, running, wiggle seat, ball chair, etc...) There are so many things that could be used. Have you had him evaluated for Gifted and Talented programs in your school system, this might keep him challenged and allow him to focus better.

I hope this was helpful. Good luck with this situation.

Best wishes,

M.

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Hello C.. I have friends who put their children on Fish Oil from the health food stores instead of perscription ADHD meds. They all had great results from it. I can understand the problem of people thinking you are trying to get special things for your son since you work for the school. Have you considered putting him in a different school or working at a diff school from what he attends? My daughter is going to attend Catholic School, even though I am not a complete Catholic, and the price was affordable for us. My daughter helped raise the money to cover tuition with selling candy bars and collecting pop cans. Best of Luck!

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Hi! I have 3 children, 10, 7 & 5. My oldest, a girl, was diagnosed with ADD at the end of 3rd grade. She will be entering 5th grade this Fall. We are in Gahanna schools and we had a 504 plan for her in 3rd & 4th grade. I met with her teacher & school psychologist to draw up the plan. At the end of this last school year we met and decided she did not need the plan in place for the coming year. She earned all A's this past year and as long as her next teacher is aware she can get off track at times and she is on medication, we'll stay with this plan. If your son does not qualify for an IEP under academics, he should for behavior. If you haven't gotten your doctor involved with the diagnosis, I would talk to her/him. I am in education also and I know it helps alot if your son's teacher understands the situation and can work with you. You should involve the school psychologist & principal. Good luck! Debbie

I think you need to call a case conference and push for the 504. The School can't deny the process if you put it in writing. I would also check the laws to see if they can even say they don't do a 504 for Elementary Ed. Also when you meet discuss him being able to go swing or go in the gym and bounce a ball to help him get focused daily. If he needs time to regroup if having a hard time he could have a pass to go to the resource room and calm down and refocus. My oldest who is now 13 was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of 9. These were some things that helped him with behavior in school. Definetly don't let the teacher not work with you son because he is ahead. They can always give him more advanced work. Hope this helps. I know how frustrating it can be working with the schools.

Hi C.,
I have a similar case, although the meds work great for us. I would recommend the 504 plan development for the simple fact that it raises a red flag that your son may need some special attention. He may need to be cut a little extra slack from time to time. My son is also gifted in most areas, but the right teacher was the key. Now is the time to talk with the principal to discuss the right teacher for his (and your) needs. My son was almost expelled from school in the fourth grade, but had an awesome fifth grade with all A's & B's. Fourth grade we were trying to figure out what worked, fifth grade, we found it. The right teacher implemented and we all had a great year. It was as simple as being able to go get a drink of water or run to the bathroom periodically when he felt like he needed some movement. Nutrition definitely plays a huge role, but unless he buys into the strict diet and how it makes him feel good, it's hard to implement during school. I had my son trading fruit for sugary snacks, etc.
I hope that helped a little, I didn't read other responses.
Good luck!
C.

Not all teachers can handle an unmedicated child. Call the school and find out who his teacher will be...and chat with her. Knowing your rights is everything! You may be able to choose his teacher.

My oldest (now 19 and in college) had some great and not so great teachers. She was on and off meds through out her elementary, secondary and high school years. She HATED the meds...the last on was Adderall. Yes, it slowed her down and she felt like she was a zombie. Her pediatrician did not want to medicate her as she was not fighting in school. Most teachers do not ( and can't handle) anyone with any special needs. I had to go to school frequently and monitor what was happening.

I wish you the best,
J. Welch

Don't let the school tell you they don't do 504s in elementary. Get a diagnosis from your doctor with his/her recommendations and request a 504 hearing in writing. I don't know what school system you're in but in the one I work for we've found all kinds of creative solutions to help students on a 504. Contact the social worker, guidance counselor, or head of special ed for assistance. If they won't help go above their heads, pull info out of the law and demand the help your son needs. It could be as simple as the few extra minutes of physical activity daily or a pass to go to someone in the building if he's getting out of control or frustrated. Good luck!

Leave it in God's hands. My son is going in 1st grade and has a lot of problems. I wanted to try to control the situation but instead prayed. I pray that this year will work out for both our boys. By the way, we are having a lot of difficulty with the school system too. What is a 504? Good luck! J. ( Mom of 3)

As an educator, I'm quite shocked that your school would "fight you tooth and nail" regarding a 504 accommodations plan. If your son has been through private testing and has a diagnosis of some sort of issue that LEGALLY necessitates the implementation of a 504 plan, then your school simply cannot say "we're an elementary school; we just don't do it". That's the craziest thing I have ever heard of - surely they understand the legal ramifications of denying accommodations!

Believe me...I am the last one who would ever recommend people to lawyer up because I think our society is way too quick to threaten a suit when things don't go their way. However, if you have taken your son to a private medical professional who has given a diagnosis of an 'educational challenge' that requires accommodations and the school ignores it, then you should consult a lawyer about your child's rights.

As a (high school) teacher, I get a binder at the beginning of the year with a page for every single student I have in my classes that either has an IEP or 504 needs that MUST be met. It is my legal responsibility to know these accommodations inside and out and follow them to the letter. If I don't adhere to these guidelines, it's my butt that's on the line. As you well know, these legal accommodations are requirements and not mere suggestions. If I were you, I'd pursue the issue further. You're not being a pain in the butt; you are advocating for the educational needs and rights of your child.

Where do you live???

have you tried some self meditation tools? where he can learn to use the power of his own mind to control the busyness restlessness of his own mind and body? there are some good kids yoga/ kids meditation books and tapes...he may be old enough now, and it sounds like he is in on the choice not to medicate, perhaps that could be an empowering alternative....you may also try craniosacral therapy, or somatic trauma resolution therapy to help ease his nervous system. your doing a good job, believe in your choice and in his abilities!

Have you ever considered homeschooling? My son is a fourth grader and we have always homeschooled. A bonus is that you are a certified teacher. If you are worried about losing your income, perhaps you could privately tutor. My heart goes out to your son. Kids just want to learn and have fun being a kid. It doesn't sound like the school environment is very sensitive to his needs. He's only this age once, it's important that he enjoys it. I hope everything works out for you both.

Why is it obstructive sleep apnea? My 25 year old was just diagnosed with that after years of having ADHD behavior. The doctor found that his septum is causing blockage where he does not get enough oxygen when he sleeps. He also needs to get his esophagus and where the air goes down the back of the throat stretched out(don't remember the name. He also may need dental surgery because of his lower jaw. These are things that were identified when he was younger that could have been through yearly physicals and the orthodontist. He was a difficult youngster and just in his early twenties started to calm down. So is obstructive sleep apnea still part of his diagnosis? Has he been evaluated by a neuropsychologist? Could your son have Asperger's? I also have a 10 year old with PDD-NOS who was evaluated by a neuropsycholgist . I have also ooked into allergy elimination with an osteopath. They treat lots of kids with ADHD and autism related disorders. They treat with accupressure and accu puncture. I have done both for myself and it has helped immensely. It is non-invasive and they also recommend vitamins/supplements to take. I have more information but don't have time to type right now. I have a child who just broke his leg over the weekendand he is very demanding. Good luck to you.

Have you considered homeschooling? It sound perfect for this kind of situation since he does seem to be able to respond well to your direction. I realize that you work, but it might be worth considering if he does so well academically. The neat thing about homeschooling is that you can really structure it to what HE needs. In public school, they are forced to fall into THEIR schedule. It's just a thought. There are tons of resources to get started and groups to help support you.

It may be totally out of the question for you, but I wanted to mention it. We often "skip" a day if my girls haven't had adequate sleep...and they don't have any conditions like your son. But, when kids don't get their sleep they don't study well.

Good luck.

i have a 7 year old with movement issues. He isn't ADHD but he does have a sensory integration disorder. He has an IEP for speech but not for accedemics.

I have been able to get an occupational therapist into our group at the school and one of the things he uses is an exercise ball in the shape of a peanut. This allows him to move and bounce enough to maintain focus. He also has a T-seat (it looks like a bicycle seat on a pipe with a rubber ball on the end). Without these items he wouldn't be able to concentrate and is very disruptive to the class.

Maybe something like this could help him on his "bouncy" days.

C. I feel for you. I don't understand when a school fights the parent. It's for the better ment of the child. I know they want our support so why do they not always support us. My middle grandson is a lot like your son. He also has anger management problems. He does not do well when teased. Also if someone says something bad to him he flips. He also din't do too well on the meds. He lost so much weight that the dr was going to report the paremts for not feeding him. He no longer takes the meds. He has made great strides in his behavior. They aslo think he's bi-polar not Adhd as we were first told was wrong. Periodic limb movement is not good also. My husband has that and we know know why he use to kick me at night and giggle the bed all night. I drove me nuts.

Have the physician write the order for the IEP, something the school is obligated to perform if they have a medical request for one. You have my sympathy. I went through similiar problems with Washington Township in Marion County when my son was in 6th grade and my husband worked for them. As a matter of fact Dr. Eugene White (in front of an attorney, in his office with my husband, my mother, the attorney, and myself) made several comments about if my husband really liked his job he would do something to control me in my fight for my son's rights. Bad idea.
If he has been diagnosised and the documentation is available to the system they are required by law to co-operate. Eugene White learned that lesson the hard way one time.
If you don't address the issue with the Township Physchologist then they won't do the work.
You know the routine, demand a meeting with the teacher, present her with the documentation, describe his problems, ask her for help. If she doesn't comply go up the ladder.

Are there any special schools he could go to that deal specifically with kids with issues like ADHD? We have a wonderful school here designed for kids who have trouble being successful in the traditional learning environment. It really stresses that all children are different and learn in different manners. They have the school, a summer school program, and tutoring programs. My son goes for weekly tutoring and does the summer school; he has sensory processing dysfunction, which affects his learning. As in your situation, he wouldn't qualify for an IEP. The school and teachers are amazing, and they find different ways to reach out to connect with and help the students. Hopefully you'll have something like that where you live.

If he went all summer with out the ADHD meds, keep him off. He doesn't need them! I'm not a big fan of medicating kids to get them to calm down. I think it's a bunch of BULL--sorry-- it only benefits one person in the situation and that's the doc...he gets more money. Kids are kids and will be kids. He's 9 yrs old.... and a boy at that, he's going to be hyper, he has lots of energy. If he has all this antsyness in class, he's bored, he needs to be challenged. Docs will give hyper kids drugs to settle them down and they will give the lazy kids drugs to wake them up. NOT GOOD!!! Anything to make a buck.
Good Luck, =Þ
Y do they have recess indoors? I can see why if it's raining. Kids need to get rid of the energy they accumulate through out the day. Run play be kids! See, teachers are helping out the docs these days. Lets keep our kids cooped up all the time, then we'll fill them with meds to keep them still, no kids to cause a rukkus in class makes for a better class, easier on the teachers... oh, don't get me started LOL But good luck to you and your son, I'm sure he's fine, after all he IS reading 2 yrs ahead, that's a GOOD THING!

Maybe, all he needs is to know that you believe school is the best place for him and his expectations. You know as well as i do, you can not ask the schools to police your childs lunch tray - you as a teacher would NOt do i... really stop and think have you ever?? He's going tobe okay and 2nd grader he will be he needs the social interactions and you need to do your job of parenting but also, when it is your child, take a step back, how many confrences have you sat in on and the mother and father demand this and that and you the expert know that is not the best thing or want to go a different direction for the child because int he long run, it is the best? Now, when it is you, you take htings personally?? Dont listen to the experts??? Second guess everyone?? ( BTW I am not saying you are wrong just trying to get you to see th other side.) Stop wiorrying in the kids pick up on it.... and I am sure the 2nd grade teacher will be willing to talk with the third grade teacher about what works for him.... in addition, placement in classrooms is usually based on these things and the personality of the child verses style of teacher. take a bvreath its going otbe fine.
PS My kdis grow only in the summer too... it is just how they function it does not mean the school isn;t doingtheir job just when they grow

I do not have this problem with any of my kids, but my nephew is on meds for ADHD. I spend alot of time volunteering in my daughter's class. In her school district they do an excellent job of dealing with these situations. There are aids in the classroom that help the teacher deal with "special needs" children. They are involved in every aspect of the regular classroom, and the other students play a very active role in the social development of some of these kids. I have had experience with my older child in a different school district, and I can tell an enormous difference between the two. I feel like alot of teachers encourage parents(my sister included) to medicate their children without need to make their job a little easier. You are doing the right thing. Stand your ground! You know your child best and have seen the results of a teacher actually being a teacher. I don't know what school district you are in, but Westfield is where we are, and it has been wonderful. My daughter is somewhat of an escape artist, and I am on top of her constantly. The school has been great at understanding my concerns and doing their best to accomodate situations such as field trips where they know there is a chance for her independance to soar! I truly do appreciate the difference her school makes.
Good Luck!

At our elementary schools, we can write a letter requesting a certain teacher(with good reasoning behind it). Is there a teacher that you would prefer he get this school year, one like he had before? Maybe you could request a specific teacher that can best address his needs! I would ask for/demand;) a meeting with the principal and counselor to discuss that you don't want a repeat year and give specific examples and to lay all of your concerns out on the table. Even though he doesn't fit into any of the categories(IEP) that you talked of, there has to be way to assure he is getting the assistance and guidance that he needs. "No Child Left Behind", I would reiterate this to the school. Hopefully the administration will not let this gem fall through the cracks. Stay on it, I know it probably seems exhausting, but let your voice be heard! Good Luck to you and your son!

I've been taking my daughter to a place for OT and PT for over a year now, and they recently told me of a story of a boy being sort of hyper, not listening, couldn't sit still, but there are similarities to your case, of what they told me about this boy.
All of a sudden one day he was calm and could do what he needed and they asked the mom what happened and she said they took him for food allergy testing and found he had food allergies. Food allergies doesn't mean you get "sick" from food, just your body can't handle certain things properly.
I am having it done with my daughter. It'll be hard for me if she does have a food allergy, but it sure would solve problems too. If she doesn't, at least that would rule out one more thing too.

Is there a way you could help him to get up in time to get some exercise in before school? Maybe a good run outside or something along what the 2nd grade teacher did would help. Making it part of his daily routine could help also.
Can you meet with the teacher before school starts, have exact goals for the first month, first quarter and year and regularly revisit these goals. Goals for your son for not only academics, but behavioral and such. Possibly have a meeting with him and the teacher to help set these goals and be pro active in checking to see that they are met?
I'm sure you knwo that partent involvement is so extremely important in a child's success. By being pro-active and encouraging the teacher to help may help your son do better.
Another important thing is to show your son that he can help himself also. He may not always have the best teachers, but by do his exercising in the mornings, and checking on his goal progression regularly, and making a plan to reach his goals could help set him up for a lifetime of success.
Congrats on all the hard work you have put in! It sounds like it's paying off! :)

Have you concidered home schooling? My sister had to pull my nephew out of school when he went from an A-B student to a D-F student. The teachers just didn't have the time and know how to help him. She showed me the program they are on and it seem SOOOOOOOOO easy that I may concider just doing it with my children from the start! I hope you find what works best for your son. I think you sound like a wonderful, loving mom!

Are you able to set up a meeting with his soon- to- be teacher? I would!! Good luck!

With some of the movement issues, you might talk with the school OT/PT. There are specific cushions that they have that will allow him some of the movement that he needs while staying seated in his chair. Also, I would set up a meeting to talk with his teacher before school starts to explain what your son's needs are. Most teachers are receptive. My son has severe visual issues which has always caused him to be hyper when his glasses weren't strong enough for him. Make sure to have his eyes tested. There is a possibly link between visual issues and ADD. When my son's glasses were stronger, he calmed down.
As far as a 504 plan, I may have to talk to my daughter's school about one (and she's only in K) due to her selective mutism/social anxiety issues. Right now, I can't get the school to call me back. They do these plans in Elementary, because I have already spoken with the Spec Ed Director in the school and the former principal. Good Luck.

i dont know what meds you have tried but my son was that way & i stuck him on vyvanse it works realy well

You won't qualify for a Section 504 unless the ADHD significantly affects a major life activity, like learning or taking care of himself.

Sounds like your son is gifted...that could be part of the reason why he's hyper...maybe he's just too bored with his lessons. He might qualify for an IEP for gifted education. Reading two grade levels ahead is great! Parents sometimes have to initiate the process for getting gifted ed. services.

I'd say just make sure he gets plenty of rest and excercise and that he isn't too bored in school, and he'll be just fine.

Hi C.,

Have you ever looked into Hippotherapy? This is physical therapy with riding horses. This type of therapy is widely used for children with different delays and challenges. One of the benefits is a calming of the children after therapy.My friend takes her son twice a week because he is much calmer at school for a period of time following therapy.

My son has Down Syndrome and made great advances in strength, balance, and walking when he started Hippotherapy. Some insurance companies do cover these services.

K.

I was diagnosed with adult ADD in college and about the only thing that I can tell you really helped me was to follow a very strict schedule and really regiment my routine. I kept a Franklin planner and wrote everything down, and I took it with me everywhere. While I know this obviously won't help you with your 4 year old, I do feel that ADD children benefit from living in a very structured environment as well as being taught how to structure their own environment. I really do feel that acting out is their way of expressing their feelings of failure to cope with stress. If you can channel those feelings and show them how to manage that stress by structuring and organizing their activities, I believe they're be much better able to cope. Anyway, that's just my armchair experience. Best of luck!

I was very nervous when my son started Kindergarten. He will be 2nd grade this fall. He had a lot of health issues as an infant due to a cleft palate. His speech was not what it should have been and he was pretty immature in some areas. Although, he excelled in others & had no social concerns. I am not sure how your school district chooses teachers for each child, but I went in during regristration and spoke with the principal and expressed my concerns with her. I didn't request one specific teacher but spoke with her about my concerns and what kind of teacher I thought he would need. She matched him beautifully with his kindergarten teacher. I didn't request any placement for 1st grade but the last several weeks of school, he struggled with staying awake which caused some other issues. I spoke to the principal again about his placement for 2nd grade & she told me she would make sure she "matched" him with his personality. Thought this may be worth a shot for you. Good luck.

have you considered homeschooling???? i think i would if the school system don't want to help your child learn and learn where he needs to be acidemiclly i would look into home schooling at least then you would know how he is doing and you could control what ever situations come up he could run as much as he needs and still get his schooling in.

I think it's very scarey that so many children are diagnosed with something and medicated for something to function within socially acceptable "norms". If burning off his excess energy seems to eliviate the problem then why wouldn't you just make sure he gets up earlier every morning to go for a bike ride and on rainy days do some aerobics inside? My neice and nephew are on meds for ADD and really it's just so they are somewhqat tolerable. Their problem is lack of parenting. But keeping a child physically and mentally active is far betterthan medicated. Especially when you don't feel comfortable with the results.
If you aren't able to homeschool where you could break up his day and throw in extra physical activity try talking to the principle to see if they can have an early AM excersis program ran by volunteers. Hopefully you'll get the school to help or a teacher with an unbaised opinion!

Have you tried melatonin for the sleep issues? My daughter has used this natural supplement with great success. She was experiencing night terrors as a result of sleep deprivation, and was sleep deprived because of the night terrors...vicious cycle. The melatonin helped her to get into a better sleep pattern. She didn't experience any side effects or daytime drowsiness.

Other than that, talk to the teachers and let them know you are willing to work with them. The schools are required to test your child for an IEP if you request it in writing. Be persistant with the request...my daughter was tested twice before she qualified for the help she needed.

Have you considered other schools? There are some schools that specialize in meeting special needs of kids...like Marburn Academy in Columbus. We have several friends who have children there and love it.
Good luck!