4.5 Month Old Will Not Sleep Through the Night

Something you might want to consider is to let her cry it out and then she will fall back to sleep. I tried it with my little girl at 4 to 5 months and it worked. She is now 8 months she sometimes sleeps through the night and there are nights that she wakes up. I usually give her 20 minutes if she is still crying i will get her otherwise she cries herself to sleep. I know some moms have a hard time with this but they have to learn to self soothe themselves. I was also told every baby is different and they will do things at there own pace so hang in there and she will be sleeping through the night in no time.

I have an 8 month old who just started sleeping through the night! She still sometimes wakes up once. I had to sleep train her using a book/ video called The Sleepeasy Solution. Go to their websight sleepyplanet.com. I wish I would have done it when she was 5 months!

Try swaddling. Babies go through shorter sleep cycles than adults and when they wake up sometimes they can't get themselves back to sleep. The swaddle seems to keeps them comfortable and my 4.5 mth old sleeps through the night now. And yes, read the baby whisperer! Saved my life.

My son did not sleep through the night till he was 9 months old. This is not abnormal.
I have friends whose 1yr + babies STILL don't sleep through the night.
Most babies are not meant to sleep through the night at 4-5months (I've read and my pediatrician has told me). Some will, if you do that "cry it out" sleep training. but i would never recommend that. apparently, they don't sleep that long because they need something, whether it be food, or they're in pain, or cold/hot etc.
i know about the sleep deprivation and how painful it is - so i can empathize.
but, hang in there, your baby will get there when he/she is ready.
best of luck to you.

S.,
I remember those sleep deprivation years sooooo well. You think you'll never get through them, but the good news is you do. I did take up meditation as it helped me recover from the daily drain. I also added liquid minerals to my drinking water to help my body deal with it. Letting your child find her way is the greatest gift you can give her. Take a deep breath, hold her quietly and if she crys tell her to tell you all about it. You can do this if you surrender to the process and remind yourself daily that you have brought this wonderous gift to the world.

Babies of this age are not programmed to sleep through the night. They are not meant to or designed to. i suppose you could "train" her to by feeding her foods she is not ready for or by letting her cry, but I suggest allowing her to be a baby and giving her what she needs. The second child is not easy, because you have the older one to deal with. You are the mother of two now, and sleep will be hard to come by for awhile. Been there and done that. Once you accept it, life will be a lot easier. The change needs to take place in your head. I remember the exact moment it did with me. Believe it or not, these are the easy years of motherhood. Its the teen years that are the real challenge. Hang in there! Accept your children for where they are, accept that less sleep is now a fact of your life, and things will get better.

You and I are in the exact same boat...I have a 3 yr old and a 5 month old who wakes up 8-10 times per night in the 12 hours that she is down. I finally had to take some dramatic action because I was only getting sleep in 45 to 60 minute increments and was starting to lose my mind not to mention feeling bad about not being able to give my 3yr. old the attention he deserves at dinner and bedtime! I read a few books: The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby by Weissbluth. I would try No Cry Sleep solutions first, but it doesn't work for all babies. The second book was a little bit harsh for me, but had some great helpful information that I did use. I ended up having to let her cry it out a little bit, with me going in and consoling periodically. I now only have to go to her 2-3 times per night, which is a huge improvement for me. The biggest adivce I could give you though, is that all babies are different and your little one may still be hungry at night and need to eat, despite what everyone else may tell you.
Good luck and hang in there - I know how hard it is to be exhausted!

Like the previous respondent said, there are many techniques like those she mentioned which has helped many mothers. HOWEVER, yes, every baby/child is different. Not all babies will react to these methods perfectly. Remember, at this age, 5 months, they are going through LOTS of developmental changes, cognitive changes, and everything else. At these time, and during growth spurts, they may be more hungry, and their sleep patterns CHANGE. Sleep patterns in babies/children are NOT static...they WILL change and they change and develop. I am in a similar situation... my son is 17 months, and my daughter is 5. When my son was brand new... I was getting up all night with him, and my daughter during the night. Yes, it's tiring. But it will pass. Take heart. In my son's and daughter's case, their sleep patterns changed about this age at well and around 6 months old. They also will develop "separation" feelings, and my Pediatrician said they may get up more as they are more "aware" of their surroundings, AND they want to "see" where Mommy is etc. For my son, he slept through the night since birth, THEN at about 6 months old, he changed and started to wake up twice a night. He could get himself back to sleep, (I would just let him babble to himself...and didn't interfere, and he'd get himself back to sleep). Other times, he would wake up, and cry and cry. It was then that he was actually hungry, and he'd need a bottle, he'd drink it ALL in one sitting, then go right back to sleep. Now at his age of 17 months, he still wakes sometimes in the middle of the night, but it's only for a brief second. I do NOT swoop in right away, unless he's having "night terrors" or something. At this age, they get "nightmares" and dream... and it can wake them up. Each child IS different. It's just something we have to do. For my son, he likes to use a pacifier to sleep, and he has a stuffed cow that he really loves to cuddle as he sleeps. This is his "transition" object and it helps him to sleep. It's his "routine" and this is important in their sleep habits. I know lack of sleep right now is hard... I've had lack of sleep for the past 5 years! LOL! Yes, my first child, my daughter was a very LIGHT sleeper and anything would wake her up. It was only until she was 4, that she actually slept through the night, even if there were "noises" in the house. Then my son was born and I was right back to "no sleep" and getting up during the night again. No rest or break for Mommy! LOL! But.. well, it will pass, and before you know it, they will no longer be babies... so it's okay. Just rest when you can, or have hubby take the kids out or entertain them on the weekends or evenings so you can rest and have a break. That's what we do. But I know it's not always possible. You are not alone... take care and you will get a lot of opinions here. Hope it helps.
By the way, feeding "solids" is typically started at 6 months... or per your Pediatricians recommendations.
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

Please please please only let your baby cry-it-out as a LAST resort. Though many people will tell you it worked and their kids are fine, it is a very difficult thing to put a child through and can have lasting effects that may not even be noticeable until the child is an adult (yes, there are studies, although Weissbluth and many others say there are not). Sometimes it is a necessity but try everything else first. PLEASE. There is a difference between a little bit of "fussing" and full out crying. Pay attention to your heart - if you feel like you need to go comfort her, do it! She's WAY too young to know any better or to be manipulating you.

Someone else mentioned that there is so much development happening at this age that babies wake up for a myriad of reasons - to be social, to eat, to see where you are, because they're teething etc etc etc and even though you're beat, twice a night really isn't bad. See if your husband can help, as others have mentioned. Food may or may not make a difference but it sounds like she's not ready so it's good that you are paying attention to that. The Sears Baby Book has a list of reasons babies wake - might help to go through them first.
Good luck - I feel for you. Remember it will get better.

You said your baby is only 5 months old? My son didn't sleep through the night until he was 11 months old. I tried everything possible to get him to sleep. Some children just aren't ready at such a young age.

We are just about in the same boat. My 2.5 year old is now potty training and sleeping in his toddler bed. So with that comes challenges. My 20 week old doesn't want cereal either and drinks a lot of formula. He goes to bed about 10:30 and wakes between 3 and 4 am and then again at 6:30 like clockwork. It's just their phase. My older son didn't sleep through the night until about 9 months old. Just be patient. Now, I just need to take my own advice. Best of luck.

It's too early to expect her to sleep through the night. I'm sure you've had this response already but, sleep with her in your bed. She'll sense your smell and warmth and be more content. I have an almost 3 year old too, and I know many people disagree, but put a dvd on and get yourself a powernap. You'll function better. The kids need a happy healthy mom. I've been through it with both my kids. It's terrible, I know. Make sure you eat well and take your vitamins. Emergen-C is a great pick me up or when you feel you are coming down with something. Good luck!

My oldest is four and just started sleeping through the night. I have a 20 months old too and luckily she's a good sleeper but oh my I thought I would never get my oldest to stay in her bed all night.

Good Luck!

My 11 mo old does not sleep through the night either and my son just turned 3. It seems that even when he starts sleeping better, he starts to teethe or gets a cold or we go out of town etc. Just know that you are not alone. If you try everything and your baby still wakes and needs you, try to see this time as time for you and baby to have a few quiet moments alone. I feel your pain, but we have to try to put it all into perspective. Thanks for asking the question. I am using the good advice, too.

I hate to say it, but they sometimes just won't sleep throug the night if they are not ready. You can always try sleep training, or the old cry-it-out method, but I would check with your pediatrician first to make sure that your baby has the right temperment. Your baby might also be teething, which will keep baby up. There could be several reasons for night waking: hunger, too cold or hot, separation anxiety. Try music or a soothing sound machine, that seemed to help my daughter. But here my girl is almost 12 months and still waking once or twice. Try going to bed when baby goes to bed, or catching a nap if you can. Eventually your baby will sleep through the night, but go through the checklist with your Dr. first.

good luck. I have a 20 month old who still wakes every night. You just get used to it. I have tried everything, and after 4 kids, you'd think I would hav some advice, but honestly... some kids are just going to always sleep on their own schedule.

I always say that I could have 12 kids as long as i could sleep through the night. Ahhh, I feel your pain of tiredness. The hard thing is that she is still only 4.5 months. My son didn't sleep through the night until he was 7 months old but we were up at least 8 times a night until then. My son started sleeping when we made him cry it out. For you I would start putting rice cereal in her bottle. We did that at 3 months and it helps fill them up. Also as she gets a little bigger or when you feel comfortable you can start incorporating foods. All my girlfriends and I started at 4 months with our kids. Until then she may be up twice a night. Be thankful she is almost there at the sleeping point through the night. Those first 5 months are tough! Hang in there you aren't alone.

Personally, I think 4.5 months is too young to sleep through the night (although some babies do; my kids didn't start sleeping though the night until they were 9mos and 8mos).
Perhaps a 100% consistent bedtime routine and some ambient noise in the room. I use a fan. Some people use the white noise from radios. Maybe a cd with nature/ocean sounds that plays the whole night.
Good luck

Hi S.,
Sorry to say this but not all babies sleep thru the night at this age. She is still so little and needs to eat even if she is formula fed. My daughter didn't sleep thru the night until she was almost 1. I think this age is way too little to start a sleep pattern. So, enlist the help of your husband/significant other. Have him take the first feeding and so on. Check out the book Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child b Weissbluth. This is a great book for every stage of development.
Good Luck!

Hi S.,

Looks like you are getting a boatload of advice on this topic and that moms feel pretty passionate about it as well!

My daughter is 5 mos old and sleeps from 10:30pm - 7am several nights a week, but on at least 2 days a week she is up once (2am) if not twice (2am and 5am). I'm a new mom, and no expert, but what I can offer is my personal experience being right where you are. I must say I have had no expectations about sleeping through the night. That has definitely helped. And, I feel strongly I need to take my cues from my little girl.

When she does wake up, there seems to be a real reason...legitimate hunger, constipation, uncomfortable from vaccinations, or even just a sharp gas bubble or burp. Once the need is met, she'll go back to bed. She doesn't take a pacifier (blessing and curse?) so she needs other ways of being soothed back to sleep, (i.e. rocking chair, baby swing, dancing...)

My husband and I both work, so we alternate nights. It's become sort of a joke in our house because it's just luck of the draw - you might get several nights sleep, or none depending on when it's your "turn."

We do swaddle her and I believe that helps enormously. We use the Miracle Blanket. I can't swaddle her until she is actually asleep, but once I get her in it there's a great chance she'll sleep through the night.

When she gets to six mos, I plan to begin the method of putting her down groggy and helping her learn to fall asleep solo, but for now I'm just trying to enjoy the experience and the opportunities to hold her as she falls back asleep in my arms - even if it is at 2am and I'm exhausted.

Blessings to you!

Well, it sounds like you've been here before but maybe need a little encouragement in your sleep-deprived state! 4.5 months is not that bad to not be sleeping, I have heard of 2 year olds that still wake up! But, knowing I need my beauty rest, I got my baby to sleep through the night at 4 months by teaching him how to put himself to sleep. At this point, your baby is probably not hungry, but used to waking up to eat. Make sure she has a full belly when you put her to bed, and put her to bed AWAKE! Then, if you think you can go without that middle of the night feeding, try ignoring it for a few nights and see if they sleep through after that. It will be difficult to hear the crying, but if your baby realizes you are not coming they might just not wake up at all if they see it's not going to get them any results. The sleep training we did with my first was the best thing we've ever done and we plan to sleep train our next one right at 3 months so we can all get some sleep! Good Luck!

Hi, My suggestion is to get a bottle that you can put cereal mixed with formula in for the last bottle of the night. Then Ferberize. It's very hard the first night or two, but the payoff is worth it. Good luck! Grams

The book Babywise saved my life with my 2nd child. I was fine with my 1st and 3rd. Try it. It was just nice to know that If I fed and slept him right through out the day that I could let him cry himsef back to sleep without feeling like I was depriving him of anythnig.

take heart! she is not doing that bad. some babies aren't as great of sleepers as others, and there may be nothing you can do. believe me, I have tried everything with my 9 mo. old who still wakes around 4am every night even after I have tried the crying-it-out bit several times (you could try it). I have just come to accept that it's just the way it's going to be for now. It also helps if I don't go to bed with hopes or expectations of her sleeping well that night and helps if I don't allow myself to get frustrated when she does wake up. I just nurse her and put her back to bed. It takes all of 10 minutes. And go to bed early if you can't nap during the day.

I have stressed over this WAY too much, and wish someone would have told me not to put such high expectations on her and RELAX.

S.,

I am sure that the other mommies will have lots of great ideas for you. One that I can think of is to have the 3 year old go to preschool so that you and the baby can take a nap together.

I know, sometimes it isn't as easy to find a preschool as it should be.

Why don't you wake her up for a bottle just before you go to bed for the night? The doctor used to tell me to do that with my daughter and it worked.

C. N.

Hi S.,

What you could try is letter your 5 month cry, comfort her for one minute, leave the room. Let her cry for 5 minutes, come back in and comfort her again, leave the room for 10 minutes, come back in to comfort her once more. Leave for 15 minutes and if she is still crying, repeat it all over again.

My son would do the same thing, and took me a long time for him to go back to sleep. I did that method, and it work. You will have to keep it up.

I hope that it will help, so you can get some sleep.

I am a mother of 3; all boys ages 5, 2 and 5 months old. With my first kid, I went into the room and turn on the music and patted his back. That didn't work very well for me. So when I had my second child, I tried a different approach. This might sound horrible but I let my 2nd child (when he was 6 months old) cried it out. Of course, I made sure he wasn't hungry and ill when I start this method. After all, I need my rest or else I can't be the mother I want to be. It took my 2 years old (when he was 6 months old) 2 weeks to adjust to the method. And now, every one is sleeping thru the night. My 3rd child (who is 5 months old) sleeps with a music mobile and sucks his thumb. Whatever works for him. Do what's best for you and your lifestyle.... Good luck!!

Sleeping through the night means about 5 hours. If you put your 5mo to bed with your 3yo at 7 or 8pm, she is sure to wake up at least twice during the night. If you put her to bed at about 10 when you go to sleep, she may only wake up once during your night. It is unreasonable to expect longer sleep until at least 9mo for most babies, some 12mo or older. Sorry! Try getting your husband to help out more.

put some cereal in her milk bottle.

Hi there,

It sounds like you have it easy ;)

We have an 11 month old who co-slept with us for 11 months. She literally woke up 6 to 10 times a night and fed all through the night.

We sleep trained our baby about a month ago and she now "sleeps through the night" i.e. She goes to bed at 7:30/8:00pm and wakes up at 6:30/7:00am, but still wakes about twice a night. At these times, we use the monitor to "ssshhhh" her to sleep.

I don't know if I would do sleep training at 4 months (seems young), but our pediatrician wanted us to do sleep training at 6 months. I refused, but finally had to give in because NON of us were getting any sleep. We used the Ferber technique which is much gentler that letting baby cry it out (something I wasn't prepared to do).

Perhaps you could get your partner to help with bottle feeds at night. Allocate shifts to one another so that you know that when it's not your shift, you can sleep guilt free and soundly for the night.

I hope this advice works.

All the best,

N.

Is your husband helping? My daughter was getting up a couple times at night at that age through about 9 months and finally at 9 months my husband and I had a big fight and he said he would take over at night. After 2 nights of him just checking in on her when she cried a little bit, she went back to sleep and has been fine. I was finally able to get 8-9 hours of solid sleep. I had gone back to work full-time when she was 1 1/2 months old.

gosh what do you mean your child "gets up" - she doesn;'t actually get out of her crib i guess. if she's just crying and you don't want to go in and comfort her because you're exhausted ... don't. let her cry it out. yes i guess i'm a bad mom to some of you. but we did this to our kids and it was 2 or 3 nights and they were done. you will be tired but then you'll be done. good luck. my kids are now 6 and 8 and beautiful, loving, well adjusted and brilliant. no harm

I know not getting a full nights sleep is NO fun. My 6 month old was sleeping through the night from 2 months old until about a month ago. Since a month ago she has been waking up anywhere from 5 to 10 times a night -AGGHH. But someone suggested that I use aromotherapy mist on her sheet before she goes to sleep. I looked into it and it is completely natural and safe. Anyways I have used it for the past two nights and she has only waken up 1 x each night - HURRAY.
Let me know if you need more info on where i got it from.

Doesn't your three year old nap? There really isn't anything you can do to force a five month old to nap. I wouldn't suggest starting cereal to this end, not only because it might not be in his best interest, but also because you might be dissapointed and end up even more frustrated. My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 11 and 1/2 months old- by that age it is fine to take drastic measure to get them to sleep- so I can partially empathize with you.

Your best solution would be to impliment a "rest" time in the afternoon for your three year old, where he has to lay down or at the least stay in his room for about an hour and a half at the same time each day- set an alarm clock for him so he will know when the time is up. In my experience with three year olds (over the course of five years I've cared for, oh, probably seventy five or more) I have only met one who could go without a nap. Try wearing him out more in the morning with both physically and mentally stimulating activities. This is your only real hope! In a month or so you may have more luck- they say most babies sleep through the night at six months!

Never put cereal in the bottle! It can cause choking, and is just as bad for your baby as early cereal feeding.
Cereal in the bottle and ferberize? Are you freaking kidding me??

I agree about the Crying it out- although I think the studies about life long consequences are misleading and taken out of context. There is a balanced approach you can take- try reading the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. There are some things she says that I don't agree with, but I like her approach.