4 Yr Old Won't Poop on Toilet

I have two suggestions (we just potty trained our 24 month old). First, have the reward be immediate, and worthwhile. What worked for us was Matchbox cars. Sure, they cost a buck a piece, but it helped get our son over that fear of pooping on the toilet. I'm sure your son has something he would be willing to poop on the potty for. M&M's don't seem big enough, and the toy store trip is too delayed.
My 2nd suggestion is to download The Pottytraining Boot Camp online. It's like 5.95 to download an online copy of it, and it helped my BF with PT'ing her 3.5 year old. It has drills that the kids do when they have a mistake. She said that was the key to it working with her son. At 4 years old, I think it's time to start some consequences for mistakes. (The drills are just marches that they do to the potty, it's nothing harsh).

I hope that helps!
T.
www.ReadandGrow.com

1 mom found this helpful

I had a similar problem with my son. I spoke to our doctor about it and he said to not make it an issue. He said that if it becomes an issue than your son could hold his poop and become constipated which becomes a much worse struggle and is painful. We tried not to put pressure on my son (although it was frustrating) and one day he just decided that he would poop on the toilet. And he did from that day on.

My son had the same issue... except he wouldn't go in his pants.. he would ask for a diaper. When I first started training him.. I gave him the diaper so he wouldn't have constipation issues.. but after a few months... I had enough. I tried everything in the book... wrapping a present and telling him that he can get it if he poops... didn't work. A friend finally told me what to do.. and yeah.. it worked. I told my son that if you need a diaper, fine.. but.. I am going to take away all of your underware and you will only wear diapers... I am not going to do both... you either are a big boy and wear underware..or you go back into diapers...which is what babies wear... and that is all it took.. he never asked for a diaper after a few times of me telling him that. Good luck!!!

I recommend these resources...

http://www.askdrsears.com/search.asp

http://drphil.com/articles/article/264/

Best wishes,
J.

My four year old would not poop on the toliet at all. I told her that she would poop on the toliet she could have a quarter in her bank. When she had enough money she could take her daddy on a date to Dairy Queen. No problems for two weeks running.

Hi E., It sounds like you're in a really frustrating situation. And it sounds like you have a very demanding schedule working f/t and parent of 4. Sometimes, just taking a break from the goal and giving him more choice and less pressure can allow him to feel more relaxed and support his overall well-being. There is a great, short article I wanted to pass on. Maybe you'll find it helpful. Best, A.
http://www.smartlovetoddler.org/toddler.php?q=10

tell him you talked to the doctor about it, and the doctor said that until he poops in the potty you need to leave him in the bathroom. Give him toys, books, whatever, but don't let him out of the bathroom till he poops in the potty. One day and you'll have the issue solved.

Hey E.,
It took quite some time to potty train our son. I set up a whole system of reinforcers for him; stickers and I got toys from the dollar store and wrapped them...
I would say though, since he's telling you that he's scared, you might want to talk to him about his fears. Maybe get a few books from the library, or you could write your own social story and talk him through the potty experience. Going on the potty is just something they have to be prepared for developmentally and emotionally. Maybe if you can help him get a better understanding of his fears, the transition might be a bit easier for him. I hope that helps. :)
Blessings,
J.

had almost same issue with our son...he never stated he was scared....I suspect he was......BRIBERY worked for us....but it has to be in HIS CURRENCY, for our son it was riding in Thomas the Train @ Day out with Thomas in Union...told him only "big boys" could ride on Thomas and big boys poop in the potty....the night before he did it and has not stopped, he even grabbed his butt and yelled "got to go pooper" @ the event that day.
Many say bribery and or shaming a kid into something is wrong...I don't know...I just know that this time IT WORKED FOR US!

Our daughter had the same problems at a bit younger age. She was TERRIFIED to poop on the potty. I got a book called "It Hurts When I Poop" from Amazon.com - I think it was around $14 with shipping, but it worked so it was worth way more than that to us! It explains what happens to food when you eat and why it needs to come out in a fun way for kids. We read the book twice and no more accidents or arguments form that point on!!! It worked like a charm and she STILL loves to read that book because it is a fun story! Good luck!

We had the "poop puzzle" for my son. It was a puzzle we put on a taller stool in front of the toilet. We would have him sit there when he said his belly hurt. He would sit there for at least 20 minutes with the puzzle. He would get relaxed and forget he was on the toilet I think. It worked every time. Even the 2 year old uses it because it seems like a game!
Good Luck.

Hi E. Just try to be patient he'll get it. At least he's doing it sometimes. My 3 1/2 year grandson is having a similar problem with pooping in the toilet or potty chair. I had a co-worker who son was about your son's age and didn't want her to flush the poop down the toilet. Maybe they think it's a part of their body leaving them(smile) I always been told that boys have a harder time being trained than girls anyway.

Not to be harsh but by 4yrs old there is no way your little one should still be poopin in his pants. You need to consult your doctor first to make sure all is good with your little man. I assuming he goes to pre-school or kindergarten therefore whatever hole (if any) that you have not covered in potty training him he should have picked up from the other kids and at the very least by now he should have been shamed into it from the other kids. So I highly, highly recommend you having him checked out by your pediatrician and speak with the doctor for help. Best of Luck!!!!

I just wanted to see what advice you had received since my almost 3 1/2 year old son also has this problem. He's great at going pee on the potty, but poop is a whole different story. I came across the posting by Susy S and it really made me angry. consult your doctor? There may be a hole in how you potty trained? She's nuts. I wasn't completely trained until I was almost 5, as was my brother. My son seems to be following in the same footsteps. And from a lot of the postings I see on here on this same topic, this seems to be very common. Susy S, not to be harsh or anything, but what you posted really came across to me as bitchy.

I have dealt with different parents and different kids on this issue - it has many variables but here's some of what's worked (depends on how strict you want to be and how "stubborn?" you child wants to be)
If he's asking for a diaper, make him poop in the diaper in the bathroom and eventually work up to pooing on the potty with the diaper on, and working to on the potty without diaper.
If you're doing reward system, find out what HE really wants(stickers, candy, chocolate, fruit snacks, toys, tv time, park time, pool) you can also do reverse reward system: take away ALL his toys (or all of something he covets like thomas trains) and he can pick back 1 toy to have when he poops on potty.
Go naked for a week (putting your life on hold for your child, go no where!!! Spend lots of time with him and look for cues when he needs to go and help him relax on potty with movies, books, games)
And I think my last suggestion is make him change his pants himself when he has an accident and put his dirty pants in the laundry room and put on his new clothes by himself. For some it is so frustrating to get undressed and dressed they give up and go potty soon, but you have to stick to this, even if it makes you late for something. My niece absolutely felt disgusted in wet jeans, so we put her in jeans everyday (they are also the most hard to get off the body)and she never had an accident again!

We cut a hole in a pull-up and put it on when he had to go. He'd sit on the potty and poop through the hole. We called it the "magic pull-up". It didn't take long before he was going without the pull-up. I think it was more of a security thing for him. Good luck!!

We told our daughter (she was around three and a half at the time) that she need to poo in the potty for Santa. We just told her that Santa wanted her to do it and we made a big deal of calling and writing Santa to let him know when she did poop on the potty. It worked well, but you should have seen the mall santa's face when she sat on his lap and said, "Santa, I have been pooping just for you!"