4 Yr Old Not Eating

Hi M.,
If she's opting not to eat breakfast and not to eat lunch, but to eat snacks, it is a behavioral thing. I would put a stop to any junk food type snacks. Tell daycare if she doesn't eat lunch, then no snack. No chocolate milk or juice when she comes home, those are treats also. For a child who is not eating, juice is a bad choice, fills them up with empty calories and barely anything of nutritional value. When she comes home, she needs to fill up on a healthy meal or healthy meal-type snacks - offer her a yogurt, a peanut butter sandwich if you do nuts, a cheese sandwich. Find some kind of fruit or raw veggies she likes, she does not have to like a dozen of them, just one or two of each. And if it seems like her food intake/appetite is way down, I would also let her doctor know this.
Good luck!

Hi M.
Sounds like she is hungry when she arrives home from DC and you are not ready to feed her a meal. What about having veggies then? I would say, I am getting it ready as fast as I can. Then I would open, peal, cut up, whatever veggies for my picky eater (and she was/is picky) and put them on the table to be served, while I continued to make dinner/supper. If I didn't pay any attention they would be gone by the time I was ready to serve the meal. If I didn't give her anything and said wait for dinner, she wouldn't eat then at all. Her stomach is still very sensitive, and the waiting causes acid build up. Maybe it did back then too. She wouldn't eat veggies at mealtime but she had got far more than I would have put on her plate. Sometimes they were frozen peas or beans, in fact that was her favorite. In fact, I would put them out, when they were gone I would act puzzled and say "I thought I got out the peas or whatever" Then I would say "I guess not" She would snicker, and I would put out more. She would eat the second bowl as well sometimes. Still today she loves her veggies raw, frozen and/or uncooked.
Hope you find a solution.
Hey as I finish this up I thought of one of our foster kids. She was in a special ed class and I didn't realize that they fed her 3 meals while she was at school. She was never hungry at home. She got breakfast at home and school, then midmorning snack, lunch, then late afternoon snack. They made sure she got her 4 oz of meat, and quart of milk, plus all the extras before coming home. They would say snack and I thought 2 crackers, they meant tuna fish sandwich. Define your terms with the DC.
God bless you and your family
K. SAHM married 38 years with 4 grown children 37,32who made us grandparents in July, and twins 18, who just started college.

If she really enjoys choc. milk. Make it ovaltine or better yet buy the pediasure. As far as the food situation. Have her help you plan the meals. Before I go shopping I ask my kids (I have 4) what they want and they let me know, and I get it for them. I also alternate by asking one what they want for dinner and they will give me a whole list. Make it seem fun. Have green beans dipped in ranch dressing, or broccolli with cheese sauce. Maybe if you make a fruit dessert, like peach cobbler, or apple pie and include her in the making of it. If she finally starts where she can eat this stuff, ask the school if you can join her for lunch once or twice and have her watch you eat what she is and maybe it won't be so scary. If you can't make it, maybe daddy or grandma. I don't know if this has been any help but I wish you the best of luck!!

The only thing i discovered that makes me feel tons better is V8 Fusion juices... every 8 ounces is 1 full serving of Veggies AND Fruit. and if you look at the ingredients.. it's great, none of the bad stuff that we try so hard to avoid. They have 4 different flavors, no preservatives, added sugar or chemical fillers. Good Luck..

Stop buying junk foods and treats. Make sure she takes a vit every day. Put a small portion of healthy foods on her plate in bite size pieces and ask her to eat what she can of it. When she says she's done...she's done...let her go from the table hungry. Don't struggle, don't nag and don't get into a power struggle with her. When she's home cut up some vegies and fruit and make sure she knows it's there for her at her reach. When she is hungry, she will eat. If she knows you are going to give in to what she wants to eat...she'll hold out for it....she then wins the the battle and doesn't learn to eat properly, which she'll go through life with. It's up to you to turn this problem around so be patient with this....in time, she'll come around.
Also make sure she gets plenty of physical exercises and make sure her doctor knows of the problem....

Try a smoothie in the mornings. 1 banana, some frozen strawberries, frozen blueberries a yogurt(I use vanilla) some milk or ice cream blend well, stick a straw in it and you have a full of vitamins and anitoxidants great tasting drink my son loves.
At least I know he is getting something healthy in his body to start the day.
Good luck, I hope this advice helps!

L., mother of a very picky 5 yr. old

There is a new cookbook out that tells you how to "hide" fruits and veggies in your regular foods and how to make healthy "kid" foods. I can't think of her name but it is by Jerry Seinfelds wife. I haven't bought it yet but it looks awesome. I hate to cook and even I can handle many of the receipes.

My 2 daughters we call both of them "boa constrictors". They will eat very little for a few days and then eat a "ton". I make sure on the eating day they get really good , wholesome foods and on the days they don't try to get cheese, milk, chicken nuggets and water into them. They get plenty of protein and calcium and calories for two hyperactive children even when they don't eat what I think is enough.

I am very overweight and am working hard on losing weight and try now to listen to my kids and when they say they are full let them stop. Even if I don't think it is enough they won't go hungry. I may have to give them a healthy snack a while later but kids will eat when hungry. (or at least mine will!!!) I am teaching myself how to eat properly and hope to pass that on to my girls. A.

We give our daughter green juice. its a blend of veggies and fruits and it is REALLY green. She loves it and thinks of it as a treat. It has all kind of good vitamins, I think it even has spinach in it. There are several companies that make it but we usually buy Odwalla.

Hi M.,

I have the opposite problem my 6 yr old eats too much. My son who is 1 has his days some days he eats really well and other days not so good. I let it be, when they are hungry they will eat.

Maybe you could make it fun for her, let her help you make her healthy lunches or snacks. Etc.... I have seen a show where they make funny shapes and the kids helping like to eat it. Check the food network. That is pretty much what I have on the TV these days. Good Luck! :)

It sound like she's just not in the new routine yet. Drinking milk is a good; at least she's not filling up on chips and junk food.

Does she like to help out in the kitchen? My grandkids love to help their mom and she's had pretty good success at getting them to eat by calling the food other names. Instead of a wedge of apple she calls it a half moon. And you don't dip it in peanut butter you dip it into mud. Celery is green logs. They think it's fun.

hi M.,
My four year old started a five-day preschool this month too. He doesn't really get hungry, unfortunately, until around 10 so getting him to eat a healthy breakfast is a challenge early in the morning. I've found, like someone else said, that you can pack a lot of nutrition into a smoothie. I love them too. I use frozen bananas instead of ice, plain lowfat yogurt, 100 percent fruit juice and a teaspoon +/- of flax oil. Dr. Sears' website has a lot of quick and healthy breakfasts too, as well as some healthy variations on the basic smoothie recipe. If she's eating a banana and milk in the morning she is doing better than a lot of kids who are filling up on junk sugar before they head off to school. As for filling up on chocolate milk before veggies, try insisting she eat a few bites of whatever's healthy on her plate first, then let her have her drink. I try to make sure my son has at least three 'colors' at every meal, and that he tries at least one bite from each. I read a long time ago that kids' bodies are very efficient at getting a lot of nutrition from a little bit of food, but they can't get ANYTHING from NOTHING, so I'm very firm about making him try everthing. Of course he doesn't care, he only wants the Ovaltine, but I feel better.

It has to be a 4 yr old thing w/girls because our daughter has been driving us crazy. She'll be 5 the end of Nov & just finally hit 40 lbs - she's 44" tall and it was such a struggle to get passed the 36 lb mark we were stuck at all summer. She is just now growing out of 4T's but could fit in some 3T stuff over the summer. One suggestion is not to make a big deal about it, because our daughter loves the attention. It's not that we weren't concered, we would just be very accomodating. We were totally different w/our oldest daughter, but I guess each child's will is different. The other thing that I realize is that my husband would fix her plate w/the same amount of food as our oldest when there's almost a 6 year age difference. We have cut back the portion size and that seems to have worked a little. I would try to be as creative as I could, maybe start making her sandwiches w/cut outs from cookie cutters - that usually goes over well. Good luck and try not to go too crazy!

My kids come home starving even if they did eat at school/daycare. If it is too close to dinner then they need to wait until dinner to eat. I just ignore the complaining about that and get dinner together as quickly as possible. My kids have milk in the am, and juice at lunch so it is only water at dinner. If it's about an hour until dinner, then they can have fruit/veggies only. If they are hungry they will eat it. It has begun to train them to like fruit more. Often before a sweet desert my kids will have fruit first. Then often they are almost full and don't always finish the sweets, but are satisfied they got to have some. Make sure the snacks she has at daycare are healthy. Don't make eating a battle, this is what is in front of her and if she's hungry she will eat, those are the options and you stick to it. And don't worry, she will NOT starve herself! Hiding the veggies can work too, you can puree carrots or chop up brocolli into tiny bits and put it into spagetti sauce, she'll never know.

Dear M.,

You should check with the daycare and see if she is showing interest in what other children are eating for lunch. I own a childcare center and we provide a hot lunch. The reason I started the lunch program was for that reason sometimes the children would see what the other child had and then not want their lunch. You would be surprised how well they eat when they have the same food as their friends. I have moms tell me they wouldn't eat at home and they eat fine at school with their friends. If that is not the case then I would not give her drinks when she comes home I would insist she eat a healthy snack or nothing. She will probably resist however if you keep allowing her to do this it will get worse. Remember if she is hungry she will eat. Maybe you need to switch things up a bit. Sometimes childrens appetites can fluctuate from either eating the same thing everyday to not wanting anything. The secret is not to allow just junk or drinks then you will never get her to eat properly. I would try to get some ideas and feedback from her daycare since they are with her during lunch and can see how she is reacting to food. Good luck!!!

Don't worry.. she won't starve. I gave my children the V8 fruit juice when they wouldn't eat... Both my kids eat great now.. one is 9 the other is 12.. they went thru sometimes I felt like a whole year of mainly drinking.. but they survived. I sometimes wish I could just drink and not eat as much as i do... good luck... try watermelon.. kids usually love it.. or cut up strawberries..