29 answers

4 Year Old Refuses to Write

His preschool teacher gave him some homework to write some numbers and letters. But he dosent want to write hes just holding the pencil and not writing with it. He only writes when I hold his hand and write for him. How do i make him write on his own?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Whoa!! I thought of posting this is exact question today!!! My pre-k son will not write either. If I try to get him to practice, he will just push more to "not". His teacher gave us some activities to help with fine motor skills that don't focus on writing like using tweezers to pick up small objects, cutting up paper and glueing small pieces on paper, writing/drawing in salt or sugar on a cookie sheet. Margie M. had some great suggestions as well.

I'm going to leave my son alone about it--it has worked with everything else. As soon as I stopped trying to get him to crawl, talk, walk, and use the potty, he did them all!!

Good luck to you!!

6 moms found this helpful

Why does he need to write? I understand that some kids are into writing letters at this age, but SOME AREN'T. If he doesn't want to, he won't... when he wants to, he will. There is no prize for being 4 years old and writing. Let him practice when he's interested. Relax for now... you don't want homework to be a fight at this age!

5 moms found this helpful

Homework for a preschooler? Are you kidding me? There is no way my 4-year old would write right now, much less do homework.

I don't even recall being made to write back in kindergarten and definitely no homework until the 1st grade. Sounds like too much too soon to me.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Why is a 4 yr old expected to write?

Get some paint and a paint brush and have him paint the numbers.
Have him do finger painting.
Have him write the numbers in mud with a stick and take a picture for the teacher.
Use chalk on the sidewalk, again take a picture
Use the bathtub crayons on the bathtub.

I happen to disagree with the teacher. If a child is not ready to write at 4 and wants to do more gross motor then that is where he is developmentaly. Try more gross motor skills to learn his letters and numbers.

12 moms found this helpful

He is not ready.. Why would he need to write?
Maybe just have him trace the letters with his fingers.. then see if he is interested in trying to copy the letters. But do not get upset with him if he is not interested,

He would enjoy some fine motor skill activities to build up some of those skills, he will not realize it is therapy or exercise.

With playdo, have him make tiny balls with just his fore finger and thumb. Then have him place them in a line, side by side. After they are all lined up, have him squish each one with his forefinger or thumb.

Get a big piece of paper and have him draw some straight lines. then some wiggle lines. Get a small car and have him "drive" the car with just his fore finger then just with his thumb and have him "drive on the lines."..

Pour out a piggy bank and have him separate all of the coins into piles. Then have him place each coin back in the bank.

give him a pair of tongs and have him practice picking up different hings, only using the tongs.

Then let him try with a clothes pin..

Sidewalk chalk
Paint brush with water "painting" on a sidewalk
using pencils to connect some dots..

These are all things that will help strengthen his fingers and hands. They are all fun..

I just remembered these also..
I forgot about these.. Have him button every shirt you hang up as the come out of the washer or dryer once they are hung up.

Get a box of large paper clips and have hm make a chain.. Then later get a box or small paper clips and have him make those into a chain.

Hang the chain in his room at his level.. Each time he makes a picture at school or home.. have him "attach" it to the chain.

Give him old magazines and have him cut out pictures. Then give him glue sticks and to Paste (with a brush applicator) and let him make collages.. The next time you need a gift wrapped. Consider letting him cover the box in cut up pieces of paper, news paper, etc..

REMIND him, "we NEVER" cut up books.. And only the magazines and newspapers mom, dad and the teacher allow you to lose.

10 moms found this helpful

I don't believe preschoolers should be doing homework. Sorry. That's just wrong. He's only 4. Some kids can write when they are four, but many can not. Neither of my boys could, my second boy is nearly 5 and he is starting to write, he can write his name... he knows his numbers and letters, but doesn't really write any but those in his name.

My daughter on the other hand, is already pretending to write at 2, she "writes her name" on everything... perhaps because she sees her brothers doing it, or maybe its her personality, but I'm guessing she'll be ready to write earlier than the boys were.

I'd chat with your sons teacher some, but wouldn't worry a bit about it.

J.

9 moms found this helpful

Um, he's 4. My 4-year-old (actually will be 5 in December) is eating his dinosaurs with other dinosaurs right now. He also colors lovely loops with crayons. Children this age are learning the fine motor skills that will allow them to learn to write when they are ready to, and it sounds like your son is not ready to. Why is there homework in preschool, anyway? Unless he had so much fun and wants to keep doing the same work at home, let him keep the "school" at preschool for now. If the teacher is too work oriented and not enough learn-through-play oriented, it might be time to question the choice of preschool.

7 moms found this helpful

Homework in preschool? The more I learn about schooling in America, the more certain I become that I am homeschooling. Seriously?

All the research shows that PLAYING is essential for the first 7 years. In fact, no structured curriculum until 7. Yet, here we are, giving homework to 4 year olds.

Finland followed our research. They rank number 1 in the world in education, and guess what? No formal curriculum till 7.

He will do it, like walking, when he is ready. They all do. Life isn't a race to finish first. Finishing first just means you die early.

6 moms found this helpful

Whoa!! I thought of posting this is exact question today!!! My pre-k son will not write either. If I try to get him to practice, he will just push more to "not". His teacher gave us some activities to help with fine motor skills that don't focus on writing like using tweezers to pick up small objects, cutting up paper and glueing small pieces on paper, writing/drawing in salt or sugar on a cookie sheet. Margie M. had some great suggestions as well.

I'm going to leave my son alone about it--it has worked with everything else. As soon as I stopped trying to get him to crawl, talk, walk, and use the potty, he did them all!!

Good luck to you!!

6 moms found this helpful

Kids.... do NOT all 'write' at 4 years old. And, boys are often later.
I have a boy and girl.
My son, was like that.
He is now in Kindergarten. Yes. He is 5 now. He was in Preschool too. He was not into writing. No biggie. But he is writing now. In Kindergarten. His Kindergarten Teacher said (because I asked her)... "DON'T WORRY! Its no biggie. All kids are at different ranges. He will get it..." and she emphasized 'DO NOT FORCE HIM." (which I don't anyway).

I can't believe, Preschool has homework.

"Writing" also has to do with 'fine-motor' skills. And dexterity and coordination of the hand/fingers and hand-eye coordination.

Tracing... is also very fun.
Or doing mazes.
Or picking up and grouping small objects.
Coloring a color book.
These all work the fine-motor skills.
Playing with play-doh too.

I would NOT fret about it... nor pressure him.
I would also, if that were me... talk to the teacher and tell her, this is not a pressured thing for you and he.
MANY kids, this age, DO do better when you hold their hand as they write. THAT is how, they learn. It is a process. A process.

Your son is young.

ALSO, once your son does begin to 'write'.... do not expect it, to be all correct or all nice and pretty nor all straight in a line and spaced perfectly. It is not. And this is normal. ONLY until say about 2nd grade, does a kids penmanship/writing, get more uniform and straight in a line.

6 moms found this helpful

My son hated writing in kindergarten, hated coloring. He was forced to write every day and it was actually traumatizing for him and he wouldn't pick up a writing implement for two years after that (we switched him to a Montessori school that didn't require it, his teacher recognized the problem and worked gently with him to start using a pencil). We were told he wouldn't develop fine motor skills, but tiny legos took care of that!

I think 4yo is too young to try to force a child to write. I like Margie's suggestions, that's what we did with our son.

5 moms found this helpful

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