4 Year Old Might Have Learning Disabilities

Dear M.~
You sound like a terrific Mom and I think you right to be concerned about your son. From your description regarding his speech and behaviours, I am very surprised at his doctor's, how should I say it, unenthusiastic response to your concerns. He says he is probably a little behind. He is definately behind and I am quite surprised that the his doctor didn't bring up concerns sooner himself. Number 1, please find a new doctor for your son, one that will take your concerns seriously. And one that has some experience with Autism. I know that can be a scary word but there are many, many "levels" to autism. Some autistic children are extremly high functioning and other are extremely low. A few things you said made me mention it. His repetitive singing (ang high pitch) and nonsensical words and his problem solving skills specifically. I have a family member who worked for NAAR, now called Autism Speaks, for several years and I have worked with a PA-C (certified Physician Assistant) whose children both are on the very high functioning end of the scale who are autistic. Both are in regular classrooms at school, although they are very high needs children. Just another avenue you may wish to pursue. My best wishes to you and your son and your family. Again, you sound like just a wonderful mom and are doing everything right. Keep up the great work.
Blessings.

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I didn't read everyone's responses but stopped at a lady who mentioned getting him evaluated at your local school district. She is absolutely right! It's free and he can go to preschool for free for 3 or 4 days a week and get specialized assistance for all the things you are worried about. He can qualify even for social delays under this program and if he's at all below average, they'll let him get the services in hopes of bringing him up before school. . .plus he may need those extra services for a couple extra years but better to know now Mel. . .my daughter is behind in speech and is behind in following directions and is also in need of physical therapy and social skills assistance. . .she turned 4 in February. Her twin sister is completely age appropriate in all areas so doesn't go but it's good for them to be with other kids and to get more one on one assistance during the day. Give it a try :)

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I have a six year old niece with physical and mental disabilities. Even though her parents both had jobs with insurance, her disabilities qualified them to receive state assistance with therapy, special schools, tests, etc.

Don't make money the issue. Follow through with contacting the school and going through the testing process. If there is anything wrong, they should be able to point you in the right direction to signing up for assistance for your son.

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Hi M.,

First, let me tell you that you're not alone! Other moms out there are probably reading your post and recognizing their own child in your words. Second, there are resources out there for you. I was concerned about my two year-old's speech development (or lack thereof) and learned about my county's Education Service District, which provides FREE services for children, including the assessment, education, and intervention for speech, gross motor skills, fine motor skills, etc. Each county has an ESD, and the cost is covered by the taxes we pay. I highly encourage you to schedule an assessment for your son. It's been a blessing for us-with monthly visits from a "counselor" and regular visits from a speech pathologist, my son's speech has exploded in the last six months. I don't know what county you live in, but here are links to the two larger county ESDs. You can always google to find the other counties.

Clackamas ESD: http://www.clackesd.k12.or.us/
Multnomah: http://w3.mesd.k12.or.us/

Good luck!
K.

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okay.... I have not read the whole post yet.. but I see a bit of a red flag.... he could have sensory issues.. and maybe mild autism.... you can have him evaluated for free at your local school district with their early learning intervention program to identify what his delays are and receive FREE help with these things. I would encourage you to call the school district and ask to speak to someone in the Early Learning department and schedule an evaluation. it should take about 1.5 hours and they will evaluate him in several areas.. speech, fine motor skills, identifying object etc. When I did this with my son I met with the school psychologist and we went over some things (he has some early signs of ADHD which doesn't surprise me because he has 2 sisters dx with it). They will go over their findings and you will meet again for an IEP eligibility meeting to determine what services, if any he qualifies for. This will give him a head start in getting help to get ready for kindergarten. From what you describe - I think your son will qualify for some services..so call them now.. so you can get scheduled for an eval. .before the school year is done.... they often don't do evals. in the summer.

good luck.

J.

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I was glad to read that you will be contacting your local school district for an assessment. Under Part C of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act school districts are required to provide evaluations and other services, if your child qualifies, at no cost. In particular, you will want information from a speech pathologist and school psychologist to rule out any communication or socially oriented conditions. I commend you for doing your best to keep learning fun. If your child does have a learning disability your family's efforts will continue to be teaching in different ways and finding things that your son is good at to protect his self esteem. It is just too sad to see students who are quite brite constantly receive the message in subtle and not so subtle ways that their best simply isn't good enough. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you try to find answers.

Sincerely,
R.
School Psychologist (in a past life before baby)

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I'm sure you have had a ton of responses but i thought i'd add my small amount of knowledge. I am a nanny, or should say was before my son was born. I have had many different nanny jobs but, I worked with this wonderful little girl with down syndrome for years. She taught me so much I am forever debted to her and her family. A couple of the things I learned...your child doesn't have to start school until the age of 7 in washington state. Kindergarten is completely optional. We kept her home unitl she was ready and I really think it helped her. Everything I did with her I did at her pase. We worked on eye therapies, fine motor skills, everything you can imagine. She also has a very short attention spand, so we mapped the day out for her. She had to work for a few, complete a small task, tehn she could ahve a break and do something fun. She's take ten minutes and go dance or look at books, and we come back and do another small task. I spaced her structured activities throughout teh day rather than all clumped together, and at the end of the day we spent a good amount of time doing something of ehr choice, a rewards of sorts for doing everything she needed to do. We'd go the the park or for a long walk, jump on the trampoline (she was very into gross motor activies) With children with any kind of special needs, high functioning or not, there are "window's of opportunity" times when they are open to new things. You just have to be patient and be ready when they come. Now that doesn't mean you don't do anything in the mean time, but take it slow and go from their ques. My precious little girl and work is so smart, she just turned 10 last week, she doesn't speak but a few words that really only family can understand, but we do a lot of sign language. When she started school it was very hard on her mother and I, we spent a lot of time crying and trying to adjust. When your son does start school just make sure you are and positive advicate for him, because the school systems have their own way about things that are not always best for children. My little angel goes to North Shore School District and supposedly they are suppose to be great with special needs children, and for the most part they are, but you really have to take the time to be there and observe and find which people work well and are positive for yor child. Some people are natural at it and others aren't. Good luck to you, and enjoy your journey!

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Try backing off a little on the "teaching" and just relax for a while, let all the teaching you've already done sink in. It could be that he isn't really interested yet (he doesn't really care what the colors names are! He knows they are there, and who cares about drawing your squares and circles when he really just wants to go find out what that rock across the yard feels like! etc.) Some times just giving them a break to just follow their own interests will lead them to learning things in ways you wouldn't have thought of. And all those lessons will be percolating in the back of their head, then the next time you do start to work with him... he will surprise you with progress!
Mine did this, and still does, constantly. Now he is 14. I homeschool him, and teaching him to read was difficult because he couldn't sit still while doing it. If I let him drum on things, and keep moving in his seat, he could concentrate, but if I made him be still he couldn't concentrate at all. Even doing it his way seemed slow going and he would get so upset. Then I decided to just take a break from reading, this was in 1st grade. We just stopped. Then when I came back to it around 6 weeks later,... there was a huge improvement. That's when I learned to just teach him something, then leave it for a while, don't bug him about it at all, then casually bring it up and see what he can tell me he remembers about it. Try it! It really works!
~D.

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I know I am not an authority, but I have seven kids and have homeschooled for a while. I had two thoughts you might want to consider.

1.Have you had your sons vision checked? I know of two people that didn't realize how bad their sons vision was and the boys blossomed after getting their glasses.

2.I hope you are prepared and have done research in the area of 'The spectrum of Autism'. I know several autistic children and your decription fits.

I agree that the public school system fails some parents and often you need to a strong advocate for your child in order to get help.

I also agree with the idea that every child is different, and all blossom at different rates. I hope your son isn't acting the way he is because he feels you are comparing him to his cousins, or that he just might want your complete undivided attention.

I applaud you for asking for help and comparing notes with other Moms. We all have life experiences that can help each other out.

I wish you the best!

J.

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Public schools have 'child find' where children as young as 3 yrs old are assessed for their needs and entered into early education. They receive physical, occupational and speech therapies as needed and required to help them develop and learn the lessons that are being taught in class. This classroom/school is free of charge, your district receives federal and state funding for it. (However, funding is subject to cuts, so when you vote this fall vote for someone who supports education funding, fully!) But getting him into this program is going to help him immensely. He will be going to school now rather than later, and it's in his best interests. Don't hesitate. Contact your school district and your pediatrician.

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M.,

I am sorry to hear about your worries, but I am also glad that you are aware there might be a need for support for your son and family. It is hard for parents sometimes to see that their little ones might not be developmentally on track. I know this because of my background...I worked as a case manager for a children's therapy center that specialized in working with birth to three Early Intervention clients (developmental delays and therapy for motor, speech/language, cognition and socialization). The program I worked for was in Washington so I am not 100% about the ins and outs for Oregon, but I know that Early Intervention programs are federal and run for both 0-3 years and 3-5 years. These programs are generally contacted through your school district where they will evaluate (or refer to the right center/program) and see if your son has a delay that is significant enough to be eligible for services.

These programs, like I said, are federal and supported by taxes so there is no cost (or very little) to families who are eligible due to delay, not income. The goal is to provide services early so that children are then ready for school when its time and hopefully save on the need for more support and service later on.

Another option that you may want to look into if Early Intervention doesn't seem right to you, or if you want a medical evaluation, is to see a developmental pediatrician. Not wanting to make a specific recommendation, but the ones that might be good to start with are through the Child Development and Rehab Center (CDRC) with OHSU or with Emanuel Children's Hospital. These programs will do an evaluation somewhat like the Early Intervention programs, but then take it a little farther looking more for medical issues and a possible diagnosis, if there is one (since you mention that there are learning disabilities in your family).

I know that this is a hard process, as I said earlier. I have been by many parents sides as they have navigated through the maze of services, but I have never see a family who regrets getting this sort of help. Please let me know if you have any other questions...I am not what I would consider an expert, but even though I am not working in this field any longer, I am very passionate about helping children and families.

Best wishes,
M.

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M.,
Many of the other responses have already said this; get him evaluated NOW!! You are right, he IS smart. MANY kids with Autism issues are also very bright... He sounds like there are possible sensory and/or Autism spectrum issues going on, and early intervention is absolutely critical. If you want help figuring out how to get help and therapy for him, e-mail me; I have been a special ed teacher for over 15 years and I have a son with disabilities, so I have been there.... If you are in Oregon, call the local school and the local ESD (Education Service District); you could also try to get an evaluation done at the nearest children's hospital, which is often covered by your health insurance (if you have Keizer, DON'T go there). If you are in Washington, go ahead and get him evaluated by contacting the district and / or ESD as well, but FIRST get in touch with a parent advocacy group; try the Wyatt Holliday Foundation (www.wyattshouse.org)... there is a HUGE pattern of poor special ed services in most of the districts in Washington, and they can help you get services effectively. I would also look at changing doctors; yours does not show much understanding of developmental issues!!!
Best wishes to you and your little guy!! Let me know if I can help :-)
E.

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M.,

You have already received wonderful advice. I just wanted to add my 2 cents that you sound like a fantastic mom!! Your son is lucky to have such a loving and intelligent mother.

Keep up the good work and I hope they find out quickly what is going on with your son so that you can all start focusing on helping him.

M.

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