My stepdaughter has sucked on her lips for years. She did it while living with her abusive mom, she did it while living with her grandmother, and she's still doing it now that she's living with us. I know it's probably a comfort and control thing and yelling and such won't do any good at all. Whenever we see her doing it, we say "Hey lips out!" or whatever, but we can't be watching her constantly. We were thinking about getting something that tastes icky to put on their, but I don't know...I don't know if it will go away on her own or not.
Under her bottom lip is bright red and swollen and looks really painful. Her mom thinks that it's a yeast infection and last time it got this bad, she had some nasty smelling cream that she put on her. Of course, she'd scream and cry and wipe it off immediately. My guess is that it stung when it made contact with the chapped skin.
Any one have any ideas?
We put Aquafor on her lips and around her mouth when she's a sleep the past few nights and I swear, it cleared up so fast! It's still a little chapped, but it's worlds better. Because of this, I'm pretty convinced that it's not thrush. I'll randomly put chapstick on during the day and she's getting better about chewing on them. Such a smart little girl :)
Well, if it's chapped (can't speak to the yeast) go into her room after she's sleeping and slather Aquaphor on them. I do that when my son gets red under the nose from a cold or badly chapped lips and it's noticeably better by the a.m.
I would take her to the pediatrician just to make sure of what you're dealing with, but Aquaphor has always worked wonders for us. It's the best lip balm on earth (works great for diaper rash, dry elbows, whatever the problem is, this is the stuff!).
Perhaps give her something that she can chew on. Specialists recommended giving my grandson gum when he was that age and licking his lips. He still has chapped red lips much of the time. He's in special ed and the professionals have suggest to ignore it; that in time he'll stop.
It has been my experience that the more I paid attention to this sort of thing the more he did it. Perhaps trying to get her to stop adds to her feeling insecure because it is asking her to change.
If, as it sounds like, she's doing this out of a sense of insecurity, she'll stop once she feels secure. That will take time.
Great responses. I'd try them all. Talk to the pediatrician about stress relief activities. Put on soft lip balm or tasteless pretoleum (sp.) jelly after she is asleep. Offer her a choice of fun lip balms (Avon has tons for 99 cents.) Provide lost of chewing opportunities (veggie snacks, pretzels, gum). And keep the love coming.
I agree with Marda, ignore it as much as you can. If it is thrush, try to put the cream on her when she's asleep, or give her a hard candy to suck on so the cream can at least stay on for a little while. Otherwise, get her some nice vanilla lip balm and let her be in charge of putting it on. It'll also be a little 'boost' for her if she's got her fancy girl lip goo to smear on.
I also think that putting an adverse taste on her mouth will make her distrust you, personally. Two people did that to me when I was a kid and it really made me mad at them. (I still swear from time to time and bite my nails, so it is not a long-term effective solution.)
You sound like a good stepmom to care about your stepdaughter's health so much. Please know that this is something she'll have to deal with on her own. Kids who are abused have SO MUCH to work through. I hope she's much happier living in a safer place with you and your husband.
Honestly GOOD tasting things on his lips helped my son.
It's a vicious cycle... licking and chewing on them makes them chapped, but then lickng and chewing on them relieves the pain of the chap, but makes them MORE chapped.
GAP orange flavored "chapstick" (not at all 'draggy' like regular chapstick, doesn't sting like blistex, isn't thick feeling like vaseline... but vaseline will fix the chap faster than most things) became his best friend. I bought a few flavors (he liked orange / tangerine / whatever they're calling it -changes year to year- the best).
He STILL (at 9yo) doesn't just put it on his lips. He goes around the outside of his lips and his lips as well. Worked WONDERS.
A word of caution:
We missed it for YEARS because he chewed on his lips... but my son has a breathing condition. I STILL ache with guilt over it, because his lips were "bruised" (and sometimes honestly were), and I'd snap at him to STOP CHEWING YOU LIPS!!! more times than I can count. Well, last winter was no different. He was chewing on his lips when we were out of the lip balm (he ONLY chewed on them when we were out), and I saw that as my fault (since we were out)... but the first time we ended up in the ER? Within 10 seconds of smacking oxygen on him, his lips pinked right up.
Oh. My. God.
We ALL missed it; peds, teachers, family (and half my family has medical degrees), because his mouth was chapped and bruised on a regular basis. When we DID have the lip balm (magic stuff) I'd fuss at him to go use it whenever I noticed bruising (assuming he was getting lazy with it, which was often true).
But he STILL chews on his lips periodically (again, when we run out) and they almost NEVER bruise.
The bruising was his lips going blue/purple (like being in the pool too long) from low oxygen levels.
My son doesn't wheeze. His lungs go from zero to plugged and in partial collapse in about 5 seconds. So the most obvious sign of respiratory distress isn't there. The second obvious sign (bluish or purplish lips) we missed.
And you know what else? He MOSTLY chews on his lips when his o2 is low. Why? Becuase they go numb and tingly. Kind of like how when you're at the dentist and they numb you it's almost impossible to keep from 'playing' with the numb area? So he'd chew on them when his o2 would get low, then they'd chap, and then he'd be chewing on them because of the chap. Headsmack!
YEARS we missed this. So ... I just wanted to give you a heads up. Because apparently (talking to his pulmonologist) it's REALLY common for kids with respiratory issues to chew on their lips.
My son goes thru this. The best thing I've found is the breastfeeding cream, apply as often as you can.
My daughter would do the same when she was younger. You can put hydrocortizone on her skin (not on her lips), this is what the peditrician recomended for my daughter. For her lips try something medicated, like chapstick, carmex, or blistek to help heal.
Petrolum jelly is tasteless and will help to protect her damaged skin and lips, but it won't do much to heal them
Aquaphor! that will help anything chapped. You can get it at any major drug/grocer. It is made by Eucrin, but is much thicker like petroleum jelly, doesn't smell and is only greasy for a short time and then absorbs. I use it on my nose during colds and on my lips and hands in the winter as they get very dry. It won't help the behavior, but if she puts it on at bedtime it will help heal her lips...I hope she gets better.
Dr. Oz suggests a little almond oil (or vegie) with some sugar and rub it on until the sugar disolved. This sloughs off the dead skin and moisturizes at the same time. She could probably do this herself with some guidance. It might be fun for her to discover when the sugar will disolve. You can also put some in a clear glass of water and do a little science with her. Don't forget to ask her to predict what will happen and how long.
It is a great time to put some yummy flavored chapstick in her stocking. You might also put in some plain, sometimes the chewing and licking will happen to lick off the yummy chapstick.
Personally, I like lanolin. I put lanolin (bag balm-square green can in drugstore section) on my kids at night. My son was sucking on his lips last year, he lets me put bag balm on when he is chapped. With my dd, I have to do it after she falls asleep. Love Bag Balm. You can mix in a little probiotic powder with the bag balm and then put it on her mouth. I used to do this with the yeasty diaper rashes, worked wonders.
Find out what she is allergic to and eliminate those foods from her diet. The lips are related to the stomach. Get a book on Chinese Medicine to learn about the meridians and the hours of each organ. You could take her to a Chinese acupuncturist who does the pulses at every visit to have her energy realigned.
If is it yeast won't yogurt do the trick? Or get her some chapstick that she likes...?
I sucked my lower lip as a kid. It wasn't a nervous habit, just a habit. My mom cured it by having me use mycatricin (an ointment) on it. It tasted awful, but it helped with the chapping and it didn't hurt to put on, so I didn't fight to much. I wouldn't do anything to exfoliate if it is chapped and sore. I would use something soothing. I really like the ideas of breastfeeding cream (the 100% lanolin ones, which are super soothing and safe to eat) and aquaphor. I've used both and they've never irritated my sensitive skin. Neither tastes particularly yummy or particularly nasty. Once you've got it healed up, you might try something nasty tasting but soothing, like the mycatricin, just to stop the habit. good luck.
