4 Year Old Daughter Eating Issues

From what you have written, my two guesses would be either a sensory issue with food (she doesn't like the way it feels in her mouth) or food allergies. Sometimes with picky children, it is later discovered that they are allergic to many things, and their pickiness is a way of protecting themselves. See if you can get a sensory processing evaluation, and have her tested for allergies (most common are wheat, corn, dairy, fish and 3 others, you can google it to find out, I can't remember offhand). And - I would wholeheartedly agree with both of the postings below, about stopping the battles at mealtimes and going more healthy with the food!

Someone once told me, my job is to provide healthy choices for my children, it is their job to decide what they are willing to eat, and how much.
Good Luck!

Hi K., I have 2 girls. My 10 year old's tastes in food are definitely moving towards adult, but my 8 year old is "all kid foods all the time" I would let your DD keep eating the same breakfasts and lunches, but stop making a special dinner of chicken nuggets and fries just for her. Maybe make that for the whole family once every 2 weeks or so. My 8 year old would certainly choose that every night if we let her too! I do similar to what someone else said. Whatever I'm making, I leave some out plain if my kids don't like whatever spice or sauce is in the meal. And I make sure we have plenty of other foods on her plate, so I know when she sees her plate, she sees pear and apple slices, raw broccoli and tomato slices, a biscuit, etc things she likes, along with some of the main course. We also use little custard cups, and we call them "try it" cups to place a small taste of the main meal by the kids plates. They like that because they can have more if they like it, and if they don't, I can remove it from the table, and none of it is left touching the other plain foods on their plates. I still struggle to get her to eat any kind of chicken that isn't breaded. She rejects grilled chicken about 9 out of 10 times, but I'm not giving up! One thing I don't do, is fight about food. I encourage my kids to eat and try things, but I don't fight it if they refuse. Or bargain or make them eat 3 more bites of this and 5 more bites of that. I do try not to keep junk food in the house, so when they want snacks, at least I know its mostly fruits and veggies.

As much as we can speculate from our own experiences, it's hard to know for sure what's going on with your daughter.

My initial thought is an independence kick in which she appears to be getting her way currently. We have similar struggles with our soon-to-be 4 year old getting pickier as time goes on. But, he started a really good eater. I don't expect him to love everything, but I do expect him to be rather balanced. His 2 year old sister will pretty much eat anything, but if she's not hungry, she won't touch what's in front of her.

Because of her older brother's autism, you may have a more challenging time rationalizing why he can be more selective and she can't.

In our house, the kids simply don't have an option most of the time. We bargain with them on quantities, but having watched my husband struggle to like new foods because he'd really never been forced to try them as a child, I refuse to let the same thing happen with my kids.

Actually, my husband recently admitted to liking broccoli after me asking him to eat it for the kids' sake for the past few years. We have it a few times/week.

In your case, I'd advise you to speak with the pediatrician to see if this is normal behavior and to get recommendations on how to overcome it with your family's unique situation.

good luck!

It may seem odd, but perhaps she has a form of OCD where she can't eat the food because of certain aspects of it that go beyond the typical 4 year old color, texture, taste, control issues. My 4 year old has the typical mild, "I don't like that," attitude that comes and goes with the tide, but your dd seems to go beyond that to the point of it affecting her health. It may not be OCD, but if it is, it usually manifests in other aspects of her life too. How is she about her clothes, her hygiene, her belongings? Does she do things in a certain order that can't be changed or touch and tap things a certain amount of times? It would be worth it to observe her behavior all around to at least eliminate that as a possibility before thinking she's just being contrary. OCD really is something out of a child's control but can be managed if it is recognized. Just a thought. Hope you find a solution! Good luck.

Hey my name is L. and my 4 year old daughter sophia has autisum and severe learning difficulties and at the moment we are having great difficulties getting her to eat, up until a month ago she would only eat at home if she had tomatoe sause in all of her meals and she also enjoyed eating cheese slices, petti falou's tinned strawberrys pairs apples bannanas and grapes so really we had no worries until she watched a kids programe with a song about strwberry jam and took an obcession resulting in her refusing to eat anything unless it was plastered in it. which to be hounest i was willing to go along with. but then about 3 weeks ago things started changing and her appitite was becoming non excistant and for the past 2 days she has been totaly refusing to eat anything, she has lost weight and i am really worried she will only eat chicken pop corn and fries and it has to be from berger king, if i have no money to buy it she will starve.

If you have any joy in getting your daughter to eat will you please let me know how you achived it so i can try it at home and i will do the same for you!

Thank you for listening and good luck.

It could simply be one of those stages kids go through. The ones where you hope that ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child will eat. All kid go through them. And there's a good probability that this is what it is. Keep offering a wide variety of foods for her to try. She'll find the things that do it for her.

Talking to her pediatrician and having her evaluated to rule out other possibilities is a good idea too. Just to make sure there's not something else going on with her.

As for it becoming an eating disorder, as long as she's eating relatively healthy food and eats when she's hungry ... she'll be fine. We're so conditioned that we need "3 square meals a day" that we sometimes overlook other options for eating and getting all the nutrients we need.

My daughter is a "grazer" ... she's never been good with 3 meals a day. She does much better when she eats more like 6 smaller meals and snacks throughout the day. I always kept salad fixins, fruits she likes, yogurt, and such on hand for her to eat as she got hungry throughout the day. She's never been big about eating a big meal at one sitting. Although that has changed some as she's gotten older and more active. She's just always going to be one of those people who functions better on smaller meals more often throughout the day.

I don't know if this is how your daughter might be ... but it's an option to try. And look at what she's eating and how often. You might find she's eating more than you initially thought because she's eating less at meals and more throughout the day. And as long as it's mostly healthy stuff ... it's all good.

My pediatrician told me when I was asking about how my daughter ate "No young child is going to starve themselves. They'll eat when they are hungry."

Good luck and I hope it's just one of those phases :)

I'm just wondering if she has any gastrointestinal issues b/c of your daughter's comment that, "It makes me sick." She could literally be having issues with an allergy, intolerance, or even Celiac Disease. Have you noticed any diarrhea, constipation, stomach aches, weight loss, loss of energy/fatigue? It may be something to talk to your doctor -- or even a pediatric gastroenterologist -- about. Our son was diagnosed with Celiac right before he turned two, and the Disease is extremely common...it affects about 1% of the population.

This is a really common stage; even my grandson, who is a terrific eater, has been pushing away certain foods for the past year. There's a theory that in children who grow up more in the wild, this is a natural disinclination that keeps them from eating things that could harm them.

She could well be repulsed by certain foods, and if she has to sit for 2 hours with cold, congealing food in front of her, then she has probably become repulsed by the whole experience of mealtimes. You can't really improve either of these situations by forcing the issue. (How would an adult feel under those same circumstances?) There is also a large body of research that ties future eating disorders, which can be deadly, to mealtimes becoming a battle in a child's early years.

Some nutritional researchers are also beginning to suspect that foods high in fats, salt, and sugar (most processed food) can actually make our bodies and brains forget what real food is supposed to taste like. If I were in your situation, I'd let my daughter graze during the day, putting out little bowls of nutritious things like whole-wheat toast with real organic butter, slices of fruit and veggies (try sweet peppers – some kids really like them), and small cubes of real, not processed, chicken or turkey or cheese. For additional protein sources, scramble and cool a egg, and cut it up finger-food size. Lots of kids like yogurt.

Keep the food that she does eat as natural and organic as you can. Put out only small amounts, with no demand that she finish. Give her a chance to rediscover "real" foods. She may need a year or two to totally outgrow her current distaste, but she'll get there. I've seen dozens of kids go through this, and then later they are ordering salads in restaurants.

My son, who is also on the Autism Spectrum, has sensory issues that led to a very restrictive diet. We have been seeing a pediatric speech pathologist for the last six months or so who does feeding therapy with him and the results have been amazing! I have also learned a lot about the process that all children go through in accepting new foods, and that it can been so much more pronounced in kids on the spectrum. The speech pathologist agreed that one of the dangers of a too-limited diet is that the child can go on a "food jag" and get burned out on that item, then refusing it and reducing their already limited diet another degree. Considering my son was only eating about 8 different items in his diet six months ago, the thought of him loosing any of those items was scary for me.

The primary theory of his food therapy is food play and getting them to accept the new food at various stages. 1. The look of it. 2. Its presense on the plate. 3. The touch of it on the fingers. 4. Touch on the lips. 5. Taste, but don't demand they swallow. 6. Actually eating it. Using food chaining, you change one aspect of the food and present it. Some other statistics are that a child will have to be exposed to a food more than a dozen times before they accept it and a food accepted seven or more times can be considered a new addition to the diet. Feeding therapy has been very successful for my son and his diet continues to grow each week. We are still working on cheese and things like yogurt & pudding.

For my son, I give him a mixture of fruit juices every day. His allowance includes two servings of DHA-fortified juice and two servings of a fruit & vegetable blend juice. I crush up a Flinstones vitamin and include it in his first juice of the day. I spoke with a pediatric nutritionist who agreed that those were good steps to help my DS get some of the nutrition he needs while he is still refusing so many foods. Also recently, my son has not only started to accept sweet potato fries, but he will take them from my plate if I don't eat my own serving quick enough! Sweet potatos aren't considered a starchy vegetable, but are in the orange vegetable category with squash and carrots, and it you bake them, they are so healthy and delicious!

I know I've gone on for a while, but I am such a foodie and this issue has bordered on crusade for me for a long time. (At first, many looked at me like I was crazy for worrying. That "all kids are picky.") Feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss any of this in more detail. :-) Best of luck to you and your kids.

- L.

My son's desired menu is very similar to your daughters- apples, strawberries, delivery pizza, cucumbers, bread with seedless strawberry jelly, plain pasta.
The greatest thing I have taught him is how to make meals into something he likes. For instance with hamburgers, he takes off the bun, but then just eats the meat, nuggets- he takes off the breading, spaghetti, no sauces. You really just have to stop making special meals for her, and make her eat what everyone else is eating. I make exception with some things for my son- especially if we are having a casserole, I will just take the ingredients out and put them on a plate for him to eat separately. He doesn't like food at alll- he would go all day without eating- unless it were a cookie or cake or something and suddenly he is a scavenger!

Hi, She could have texture issues. And she does eat some foods that are healthy. Does she have any other signs of autism? Socializing? Gets to involved with just one thing? I'm sure you know what to look for since you have a son with autism. That would be my first concern. Have you talked to your pediatrician about it? I ask because I've worked with autism for 12 years and this is the first thing I would have checked out.
Both of my girls went through picky eating. My oldest came around when her pediatrician told us that she had to sit at the table while we ate. But when she was hungry only give her healthy foods and no goodies unless she ate something healthy.
The youngest she was very picky and as long as she ate healthy I was happy she was eating. She couldn't have any foods touching. Packing her lunches for school was always interesting. They both survived and are now beautiful young women.
My grandson is on the autism spectrum and is now almost 8 years old.
He only ate chicken nuggets and fries and pizza and mac and cheese and strawberries. Once he get old enough to were they could tell him he had to try one bite of what ever mom made they got him to eat more. This was hard at first but then he was tired of not getting his goodies and had to eat his dinner and one bite of what ever, before he got even his favorite food, strawberries. He now eats a lot more foods Chicken, steak, hot dogs, crackers, spaghetti, garlic bread (only Texes toating garlic bread) and a lot more. So there is hope.
But I would make sure she is not on the spectrum only because she has a brother that is autistic.
Good luck! Don't worry to much she is eating. Oh one more thing I have nephews that would only eat hot dogs and mac and cheese and cheerios for years and even with out the fruits and veggies they survived and are now wonderful young men.
It's not easy trying to feed our kids when they are so picky but they do grow up.
Good luck!

K.,

I have autistic kids too, and one typical one. The typical one drives me nuts with her restrictive eating! She has "shadow" issues, some just a tad bit like her sisters, but not so bad that it rises to a diagnosis.

Sensory concerns can also include taste and texture, and may not include gaging at all. I would keep offering new selections, and not worry too much if she refuses. If she is finally sick of the nuggets, take that as a chance to put something new on her plate, and if she is still eating breakfast, having a bannana and drinking milk she is probably fine.

It took years before my picky one would eat more than a few items, but it is better now. It will be fine, so don't fret. You are right to not make a big deal out of it. At 3, she ate 4 things, every day, day in, day out and is a very healthy, thriving 13 year old. Check with her doctor to be sure you are supplementing her well, and wait her out. Mine even eats some veggies now!

M.

You daughter very likely has sensory issues (much like your son with autism likely does). The book Just Take a Bite may be helpful. Siblings, like our autistic kids, often have food sensitivities. It may be helpful to look at food allergies with an IgE blood test (Quest or LabCorp) and food sensitivies with an IgG blood test (Alletess, Great Plains, Metametrix).

Growing up I was a royal pain and sooooooo picky. I'm no doctor and of course have limited information but there are no bells going off in my head saying that anything big is wrong. She is just picky.

Keep trying new foods and re-introduce the good stuff over and over again with hopes she will try it eventually. She will hopefully just outgrow some of the issues.

I have a couple of ideas for her health. Below are good vitamin supplements for kids and a meal shake. To me the chocolate one pretty much tastes like a glass of chocolate milk but it is packed with good stuff.

http://healinghappens.myshaklee.com/us/en/products.php?sk...
http://healinghappens.myshaklee.com/us/en/products.php?sk...
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Contact me with any questions.

my 4 year old is doing this too -- sooooo annoying. things that he used to eat he's not touching now. we try to do a "no thank-you helping" which is even if he says no, he has to try a bite, but this usually leads to a battle. i don't think it's wise to battle them into eating, though it is such a pain to 'provide choices' at the table -- much easier to make a meal (that i want to eat) and have him eat it too!

anyway, for some reason he likes 'snacks' better and will eat almost anything if i call it a snack, tho that doesn't always work either.

i'm hoping this is a stage....