4 Year Old Daughter Devastated

Wow...we just went through something kind of similar. My daughter will be 4 in February and has started talking about "not wanting Pull-Ups" at bedtime anymore. We were doing something similar as you...telling her that if she can go 7 days without an accident in the Pull-Up, we'll try going without. Her body simply isn't waking up when she needs to go. We've been as encouraging as possible and gently explain to her that "sometimes we have to wait until our bodies are ready."

This past weekend her Grandparents babysat. And my daughter decided to not put on a Pull-Up. That night, she had completely soaked everything -- even the comforter! She cried and cried...even the next morning. We had to gently explain again that her body wasn't ready and that we would keep trying.

I wondered about waking her, so I called my Pediatrician for advice. The Dr. recommended that we do NOT wake her and disrupt her sleeping cycles -- that would be potentially create a worse habit. The Dr. added that if she is not able to go dry/wake herself after turning 5, then we should reconsider other alternatives (waking her, etc.) But for now, she's young enough to let her have more time. In the meantime, I have two sets of waterproof mattress protectors plus several sets of sheets.

Do you think having another "authority figure" explain to her about "waiting until your body is ready" would help ease some of her distress? Maybe her preschool teacher? Sometimes hearing it from someone in addition to Mom and Dad can help.

I know it's not necessarily the answer you are looking for, but I thought I would share. If you try something that works, will you contact me and let me know?

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

Hi J.,

My daughter was still wearing her pull up at age 4 almost 5 her pediatrician told me to stop giving her liquids 2 hours before bed and surprisingly she said dairy products and that water was fine but no dairy product before bed. and that seemed to help but a bit, but she also said that some kids bladders tend to develop slower than others and that it is normal, her body will adjust when she is ready. Like the other mom said have her wear her undies over her pull up and maybe that will make her feel better!

Happy holidays! And congratulations on your new baby!

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter turned 5 in september and was still potty training at night and doing well, she is to big for the pull ups, so i just deal, we all know they will be ready when their bodies are. One thing my daugher loved was to go to the dollar store. Every morning she woke up dry whether in a pull up or underwear, we would go to the store and she got to pick a special prize, and it worked, and helped her to feel confident in herself. Try this product from one steap ahead, it is awesome and goes over the sheets so you don't have to do the middle of the night change, and pull everything off!
One Step Ahead Baby - Dri Nights Waterproof Mattress Protector
http://www.onestepahead.com

1 mom found this helpful

The only thing I can suggest is cutting off drinks much earlier. My son goes to bed around 8:00...he drinks milk at dinner and then doesn't drink anything else until he brushes his teeth - then he gets a sip or two. It might sounds "mean" or "strict", but after a day he stopped asking for something to drink and now could care less. We always make sure he goes to the bathroom right before bed too. Good luck and congrats on the newest addition to your family!

You might try putting one of those portable potty's in her room and for the first week, waking her up one or two times a night and then setting an alarm so she can get up and just go right there. I suspect that once she gets into the routine, it won't take long for her to figure it out. Sometimes it takes longer for the kids that sleep too good and/or get too intense with their play schedule.

Maybe if you explain to her that to stay completely dry her body must get ready by becoming developed. Compare it to how her muscles & bones grow and develop, making her taller & stronger. It's a process that takes its own time.

You can buy a plastic mattress protector for about $5 that you put under the sheet. I don't think my younger son would ever have been night potty trained if we hadn't gotten rid of the pullups. An accident or two is to be expected.

J., I would suggest making the cut off time be no later than 6pm for drinks. except for whatever she can suck off the toothbrush lol. Then when your going to bed later at night sit her up and take her (walk her) into the bathroom. We did this with all of our boys. they would go to the bathroom before bed, then again at about 10 when we went to bed and my husband would take them again at about 5am when he got up. that lasted a short amount of time as we cut out the 5am one and then eventually were able to cut out the 10pm one also as they slept good or woke themselves up. the idea about a plastic sheet is a really good one. get that and put it on the matress. then put a quilted mattress pad you won't feel the plastic under her. then another waterproof pad sideways with a sheet across. then if there is an accident just pull that sideways sheet off, new jammies and your done. if you float back and forth between pullups and underwear she will never get it down. good luck
sherry

We did the cut off of drinks at 6pm for an 830pm bedtime. We also once out of pullups did not return. We also for the first 2 weeks woke her about 4am and yes we carried her to the potty so she could get used to the idea of needing to wake if she felt the urge. It worked well and we usually "caught" a full bladder right before she woke up to a wet bed. The total night training took us about 6 weeks.

We had my son wear his underwear over a pull up. Maybe that would be a good comprimise.

A good way is to get waterproof sheets. If your using a convertible crib you can use baby fitted sheet to fit the mattress. One from Carters is $12. Of course doing the laudry everytime could become a hassle. If it isn't then encourage her, but protect the mattress. You could buy a cheap blank set from Walmart if you're worried about her set getting ruined if they're expensive. Your plan of 5 days is also a good one. Maybe you could try shortening it to three days so she's not devastated! She's doing great, just keep enouraging her.