4 Month Old, Not Sleeping Through the Night - Normal,IL

Please pick up a copy of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child at your library or bookstore. That book is a lifesaver, and its techniques worked with both my kids. 4 months is just the right age to start sleep training. You will find lots of great advice in the book, but here is my opinion for starters:

10:30 or 11 is way too late for a bedtime. You should start trying to put her down earlier. You may be surprised at how well that works.

She is not necessarily waking up because she is hungry or gassy. Babies wake often. Their brains are immature and they don't know how to go back to sleep. It's our job as parents to teach them to do that. The quickest way is let them cry it out. I am speaking from experience here.

Anyway, check out the book. I still refer to it even though my kids are 3 & 18 months.

1 mom found this helpful

My first slept through the night regularly, where we could really count on it and not hold our breath not until about a year. 8 months old is when he started sleeping through. He is an awesome sleeper now (he's almost 2). My 6 month old is not sleeping through the night either, he gets up AT LEAST 2 times a night to nurse and squirm and laugh and cry, it's tough. If he got up to just nurse and go back to sleep I could handle that! I think it just goes with the territory for breastfed babies contrary to what the books and others say (most of those people exagerate anyway). Try The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears for some ideas on how to get more rest during this time. Good luck!

Sorry I don't know what it's like to have an infant sleep through the night because my 3 never did. If your firstborn did I would consider you very lucky.

I, too, have a two year old and a four month old who is exclusively breast fed. The baby was going through the same thing so I started him on solids. I know that some people/doctors are hesitant to start before six months. However, our pediatrician gave us the green light and now he goes to bed around 7:15 and sleeps nearly six hours before waking up to eat, again. Given that my husband and I are both teachers and have little down time during the day to recharge, going to solids was the best choice for us.

I must tell you that I had the exact same problem and was in touch with the la leche league often. My son did the exact same thing and I worked full time and my daughter was 3 at the time. What they told me was that it is the baby's way of keeping your milk supply up. Since we were apart during the day he was making up for it at night. I know it is hard but it is short lived. Once she starts solid foods she might stop waking during the night.
Hope this helps.

M., Try having a nice warm cup of camomille or sleepy time tea before her last feed. I have seen this work and it does help with the gas pains she might be experiencing.

Hi M.,

I have a 3 month old and she gets up once a night and I fully expect this will carry on for months to come. I'm thinking their little bodies need it and when they don't, they won't wake. Also I used to worry about putting her to bed early too, but it just made her sleep even better! "Sleep Begets Sleep" I was told, now it's my mantra. At 4 months old, getting up once a night seems pretty routine from what I have heard...and actually I have friends whose babies still get up twice or three times a night!

You need to start putting her to bed earlier. 4 oz is plenty for a breastfed 4 month old. Sleeping through the night at this age is 5-6 hours, so I would expect that as you push her bedtime forward, you will get closer to that time. I have a 6 month old and he wakes like clock work to eat at 3 am. He has been this same way since birth. If he doesn't eat enough he will wake earlier at about 1...but it doesn't seem to matter what time I put him to sleep it is ALWAYS one of those two times...and my older son was like that with his times too. I would work toward a 7-8 pm bedtime. Just start a little bit earlier each night.

The majority of 4 month olds need to wake and eat two times a night (i.e. 10pm and 3am) until they turn about 9 months old. Sorry! Of course, all babies are different and you may hear from some lucky Moms whose young babies sleep through the night. But I don't personally know anyone that lucky!

I don't know if you are utilizing any particular sleep training method/book, but I strongly recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" by Marc Weissbluth, MD. This book outlines healthy sleep needs (how many naps, how many hours of sleep per nap and per night, how to solve sleep issues, etc.) for every month of the child's age all the way through adolescence.

Hang in there -- he'll be sleeping through the night in only a few more months!

My son is 4 months old as well. He doesn't sleep through the night either. I put him down at 8 or 9pm and he wakes around midnight and then again around 3am and then again around 5am or 6am for the morning. He will go back down for a nap in his swing around 8am.

He was sleeping from 8pm until between 2am and 5am for about two or three weeks and I was in heaven, but for some reason he reverted back to his old ways.

I would try to put her down early anyway. She may suprise you. You are obviously still up and it doesn't matter anyway.

Have you tried some cereal. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. My son is eating cereal with no problems. When I started him on it he started sleeping for the long periods I mentioned before, but after two or three weeks he stopped.

My oldest wouldn't sleep through the night until she was nine months old or so. I finally had to let her cry it out for three or four nights. I would let her cry for 10 or 15 minutes, go in pat her bottom and sing to her and then leave for another 10 or 15 minutes until she finally fell asleep.

My second child was much easier. She was three weeks old when she started falling asleep at 7pm after a feeding. She would wake at 11:15pm when I got home from my part-time job and then again around 5am. Then she would sleep until 7am or so. She just got better and better about sleeping the older she got. I never had to train her to do anything when it came to bed time. I would feed her and lay her down and she would stick her bottom in the air and go to sleep. To this day (she's three now) she will lay down at bed time and go right to sleep...almost before you can get out of the room and that's between 7:30 and 8pm.

My third child has been a challenge. He's four months old and can't makeup his mind what he wants to do. He's high maintenance. I'm glad that I stay home. If I had to work I would be pulling my hair out. You may just want to think about how much it is costing you in daycare, work clothes, lunch money, gas money, and sleep to work fulltime. Is it really worth it? My neighbor was going in the hole when we sat down and figured out all the expenses associated with working.

I find that I am still a little tired because I have to get up and get my oldest ready for school, but I'm less stressed because I don't have to get myself ready until I have a moment. I don't have to rush to drop them off or pick them up. I don't have to stress about what to feed my family and how quickly I can get it cooked. I don't have to stress about getting them all bathed and ready for bed so I can clean house a bit before I go to bed.

Just think about it. If you can't stay home then you may have to just tough it out for a few more months until your little one matures a little more and decides she can sleep all night without eating. Remember she will go through spurts even when she does start sleeping when she grows.

Good luck!!

My second didn't sleep through the night until 10 months. Quite the shock because my 1st slept through by 3 months. What my pediatrician had told me to do with my second because she would wake between 2 and 3 for a bottle also, she said she was a trained night feeder. She was waking because she was used to getting those calories at that time, even though she did not need them. What we had to do, and this did work, was:
Reduce her feeding by 1 ounce for 3 nights, then another ounce. Every three nights lessen her feeding by an ounce and she will not rely on getting those calories. The first night that she was to get none, I would just go in and comfort her. She did cry for a little bit but within a few nights, she no longer woke at that time for a feeding. I just wished I knew about that sooner than 10 months, but she was also colicky until about 5 or 6 months. Hope this helps and good luck!

Like some have said, all children are different. My daughter sleeps through the night, waking with gas as well. But until I started nursing her in bed, she wasn't getting enough and not gaining enough weight so her sleep was torture to me.
We put her to bed when she's able to, anywhere from 9 to 11 pm, nurse her intermittently through the night, and she wakes anywhere from 7 to 9 am. She's in bed with us so I can feed her without either of us really waking.

M.,
My little one just turned 4 months also. She has pretty much the same sleep schedule as you are talking about. Some differences for us are that she is both breast and bottle fed. I try to nurse her before bed as you do and even if she has a bottle of formula then it does not matter. When I realized she was almost 4 months I was surprised that she was still only taking 4 oz. But then last week she kicked in and is now drinking 4-6 at a feeding. I guess maybe she is going through a growth spurt? She weighed 12#14oz at her check up and was 25". Someone else said they thought babies don't start until they are around 15#. In my experience, with this being my 4th, every baby is so different with every milestone. Some I have had to wake to eat when they were newborns, others I did not. Even those cycles changed. I guess overall what I'm saying is that all sounds normal for your baby. Just sit back even though you are tired/exhausted and savor those night time feedings. My next oldest is 10 and I am able to appreciate this little blessing more that when my others were this size. It goes by so fast. Before you know it she will be learning to drive like my 15 year old. I try hard to always greet Abby with a smile no matter how exhausting it is to be up at 2:30 in the morning and then again at 4:30 and 6:30. Those nights/mornings are hard and I'm sure even harder having to get out the door early. I hope this helps.
Take Care,
M.

We have a little guy about the same age. A co-worker recommended a book that has worked wonders for us. It's geared towards breastfeed and formula feed babies. It's really challenging at first but so worth it in the end. It's called On Becoming Baby Wise by Ezzo and Bucknam. Our son pretty much sleeps through the night. We may have to rock him back to sleep once or twice, but he's not eating. Hope this helps and you guys get some sleep.

Check out the book "Healthy sleep habits happy child". A late bedtime will most likely backfire on you. She should really go down earlier or she can get overtired. My little one got almost colicky from getting overtired. Working on the schedule the book suggests should help her get the most out of her sleep. But I do think you need to accept that most brestfed babies will be waking for a feeding during the night. They are just hungry. you could give formula or cereal, but this may not work (especially if she's gassy). And there are many reasons to wait. Check out www.kelly.mom for information on delayed solids and the case for the virgin gut. If all your baby has had is breastmilk there is good reason to continue with just that. Some of the immunity protection goes away once you introduce anything else besides breatmilk. The book should really be able to help you understand her sleep needs and when she will be ready to train a little further. Hang in there, as a mom of 3 under 5 I understand lack of sleep.

4 months is really too young to be expecting a baby to sleep through. Starting around 5 1/2 months you can try and get her to do so. I've found that letting them cry it out works best, though it's very hard to hear. Your baby's stomach just isn't big enough yet to hold enough milk so she can go that long without nursing. Be patient and I'm sure she'll get there soon :O)

Hi, my name is C., my son is now 8 years old. Alot of people did not agree with me when i gave my son baby cereal at 2 weeks old. I did and he slept from 9:30pm to 8:00am,i was a working mom at the time, so my mother told me to try the cereal, it worked you could try it, but that is totally up to you.i hope this helped. Good luck!!!

Honestly, i think you are putting the baby to bed too late. And i am exclusively breastfeeding too.

I have a 3 1/2 year old who i got to sleep through the night at 6 weeks old.

And now my 3 month old is sleeping through the night...i put him to bed around 730opm and he sleeps until 5 am...then a feeding and then back to sleep until about 8 or 9 am.

When i was waiting and putting my kids to bed later in the evening, they actually slept LESS. Doctors will say "The more they sleep, the more they sleep" - doesn't seem to make sense - until you try it though. It's true.

Put your baby to bed EARLIER. I bet that if you put her to bed between 7 and 8 pm, then she will sleep longer.

First off, what was your experience with your first child? Did you exclusively breastfeed him? Most breastfed babies do not sleep through the night because the breast-milk is easier to digest (because it is natural) I breast-fed my son for three years and he did not sleep through the night until about one year old. I also let him sleep in my bed so when waking up it was not so bad since he was with me. From what I know of all the woman I know who breastfeed and my two sisters who also exclusively breastfeed, this is normal! I would suggest contacting your local La Leche league to find woman to sit down with face to face and get support. And four months is still really young. Be patient. I know you are tired but this is apart of parenting. My son is five and sleeps through the night but sometimes wakes because he has a bad dream or justs wants to be close. It just comes with the territory.Also your baby knows how to eat. You can not train them how to eat. So if anyone tells you that you are feeding her to much before bed or during the night they are wrong. Trust me on this and call the La Leche League it will benefit you and your precious baby. Also I agree who ever told you babies sleep through the night at 4 months doesn't breastfeed and is giving you false information. Good Luck!!!!!

Wow, you sure are lucky that at four months your baby only gets up once at night. My daughter is almost 15 months old and still gets me up once each night to give her her binkie and blankie. She stopped eating when she woke up at about 13 months. I have 3 small children, and they were all breastfed and none of them slept through the night until at least 10 months, and then only on occasion. I'm not one for letting them cry for long stretches of time eithor though. Good luck. Personally, I think your expecting an awful lot out of a four month old.

The baby whisperer has a Dream Feed technique. Basically you put the baby down after nursing (both sides, keep the baby from sleeping at your breast if you can help it, and keep them awake until in the bed if you can so that the nursing isn't what is putting them to sleep). Then a few hours later when you are ready to go to sleep you nurse the baby again even if they didn't ask for it. This fills their tummy that little bit more so that they can last longer.

Another option is to be "mean" and know that she should be able to go 6 hours without nursing at night so when she wakes you do anything but nurse unless that 6 hours is up. So, you put her to bed at 8, dream feed at 10, then know that 6 hours is 4 a.m. and no matter what you don't feed her until then. Turn off your baby monitor so that you don't wake at small little noises she makes and it gives her a chance to settle on her own. When you do hear her wake up wait 10 minutes before you go in to settle her down. Lots of times they are back asleep in 5 minutes even if they are screaming for those first few minutes. After 10 minutes, if it's not 4 a.m. yet, then go in, reswaddle her, do the 5 s's from the Happiest Baby on the Block and don't nurse. Try to calm her in other ways, change her diaper if she needs but try not to nurse.

Babies get in the habit of eating at set times, just like we do. So it may be a hard few days to break that habit, but it can be done and you and her will be better for longer sleep cycles.

N.

have you tried maybe putting a teaspoon or two of rice cereal in her bottle to make it a little thicker. that might just fill her up a little more since she won't drink 8 oz. i used to do it with my son when he was that little. it worked for me. try it.

Hi M. -

I also have a four month old daughter. She has been sleeping through the night since she was two months old. I was having the same problem of her not sleeping when I was exclusivly breast feeding. She would eat every couple hours and I desperatly needed some sleep!!! I talked to my doctor and she recommended that I start giving her some cereal in her bottle before she goes to bed and that very night I started giving her the cereal and she started sleeping all the way through and has been every night since!! I hope this helps!

hi M.! i have 2 things to tell you. one is that we started feeding our son at 4 months, despite intentions to wait. also, at 9 months he is only now occasionally sleeping through - 7a-7p. usually he still wakes up and needs comfort and milk around 5. patience! you'll get there!! :)

My suggestion would be to try putting her to bed in her own room/crib if she isn't already...both of my girls did not sleep through the night until they were in their own room in their own crib. The very first night I put them down in their own rooms, they slept through the night!

4 mo is pretty young for a breastfed baby to sleep through the night. The reason formula babies sleep through the night is b/c of the fillers that do not occur in your breastmilk. In a couple of months you will enjoy your nights...stick it out! Before you know it, your child will be driving and out late and you will be wishing for this period to come back.

Sometimes the baby wakes up during the night just out of habit and is not really hungry. I tried to get my son to go back to sleep instead of just automatically nursing. I got him to go back to sleep just by giving him his pacifier (and patience the first few nights). He's 3 months and is now mostly sleeping through the night. He goes to bed around 8/8:30 after a bath, then feeding and sleeps until about 4/4:30. I find he does much better with the consistant routine, if we skip a bath or get to bed later he doesn't sleep as well. Good luck!

Boy I can remember those days! I exclusively breastfed my youngest daughter while working full-time as well, and I understand what you are going through.
Both my children were very hungry from the get-go, and if I wasn't at work, I felt like I was a milk factory creating permanent dents with my big post-pardum butt in the couch.

Breastmilk, although wonderful nurishment, is very thin, and doesn't keep baby full for very long.

It's good to hear your baby will take a bottle without any problems. Here's my advice: Take a bottle and cut the nipple opening ever so slightly, to create a tiny bit larger of an opening - in a cross "+" shape. Then add a teaspoon or less of Gerber Rice Cereal to the 4oz of breastmilk and shake it really, really, well. It should still be watery and not thick at all, but it will offer a little more food to stick to her ribs, and help her stay full and get more sleep. I found the rice cereal was easy on my baby's tummy's too.

Anyone who tells you that 4 month old babies "should" sleep through the night is not a parent. Every kid is really different... my son didn't sleep through until he was nearly a year old. He also never had a bottle bigger than 3.5 oz in his life. My daughter started sleeping through when she was 11 weeks and even now (12 weeks) she is a power-eater.

Your baby is old enough that you can "sleep train" her now (see the book by Ferber on this). I agree that baby needs to go to bed earlier - probably between 7:30 and 8:30 - she may be overtired right now. I can say that the sleep training does work. I'm quite sure I could have gotten my son to sleep through earlier than he did, but I chose not to for other reasons (and I didn't mind getting up 1x/night).

I don't think food is really the issue - it's more that she's used to eating at that time, not that she NEEDS to eat. If anything, having a large meal right before bed may actually be disruptive because it makes her diaper wetter.

I have to agree with a lot of these moms here. My daughter didn't sleep through the night until one, and my son is seven months and we're lucky if he gets up just once a night for food. One thing that has helped us tremendously is staggering our sleep schedules (my husband and I) so that we both are guaranteed a passable amount of sleep. It is only temporary, you will survive:) Good Luck - S. S.

My 4 month old (most of the time) goes to sleep by 7:00 and wants to eat around 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning. It was recently said to me that I should not be allowing this and to let him cry it out. I have tried that but feel that it's fine for him to want a bottle still. He is only 4 months old!!! I do think that by 6 months old if he is still waking at that time I will teach him to wait it out.

I have read that babies sleep better if they go to bed earlier. You might want to give that a shot. It doesn't sound like it would work that way but it is supposed to. By earlier I mean about 6:30 to 7:30pm.

I would highly reccomend the book The Baby Whisperer. I wish I would have found it before I had my first and second. I used some of her techniques with my 3rd and went back to the library and checked it out again to use with my 4th to refresh my memory. She helps us to look at the situation from our baby's perpective to determine how to best solve problems. I personally had a hard time with the cry it out theory and she offers an alternative that helps parents and is better for baby too.

Try spoon feeding some cereal - not too thick though. I don't remember what the first cereal is to use - I think it may be rice. I did that by 3 months. My kids slept through the night by 6 weeks. Sleep is good for both of you!

C. T.

Hi there,
Your pediatrician would probably say that 6 hours at a stretch is normal for a 4 month old. Their tummies are only as big as their fist! I was once told that BF babies need to be of a certain size, about 15 lbs, before they sleep those long stretches that adults and older children can maintain. Good luck! You will get through this!

I think breast feed babies wake up in the middle of the night to eat after 3-4 months more often than babies who are fomula fed. From my experience. Also at the age of three months my doctor told me that is has become habit and that they should be able to sleep through the night at this stage. That between 3-4 is the time to get them out of the bad habit and stop feeding them. There are many different ways that you will have to research and do what works for you and your family.

I try to remember what a lactation consultant said a few weeks ago: a baby will sleep through the night when he is developmentally able to.

UGH!

I have a 4 month old son who wakes up about the same time in the night to eat. I too wish he slept through the night but I only know one child - my niece - who has slept through the night since 8 weeks old religiously. In the Weissbluth book he says babies under 9 months of age usually wake at least once and possibly twice at night to eat.

If she is only "snacking" you may have better luck eliminating that feeding but if she is doing a full nursing at that time you may not be able to.

Hello Michell W. yes it sounds like the baby girl is going through a growing stage, that usually happens around 4 months, durring your feeding time there are two things to help prevent gas number is halfway durring the feeding burp her to help release some of the gas build up then continue the rest of the feeding. also when my first born became gassy
one I learned prune juice was not the answer I began to put about 1 tbls of baby pear juice in her bottle pear juice and peaches are a natural laxative. it won't hurt her. Once I saw my daughter becoming regular and not full of gas I backed down on the juice, but I made sure every now I put it in her bottle. When the baby is about 5-6 months they then are ready for bottle of milk and baby cereal it will help them feel full and sleep at night. Hope this offers some help.
Blessing's,
Rabbi L.
www.hamishkandavid.org

My son didn't sleep through the night until he was a year. He slept in bed with me and that helped as I didn't have to wake up to feed. It's good she pulls off when she's full--you want her to do that, it's not good to encourage babies to overeat.

For support for working/bf women, there is a LaLeche League meeting in Mundelein the first Friday of the month at Cyngus Lactation.

No Cry Sleep Solution has some ideas. But your baby is real small and there are good developmental reasons why she's waking.

Sorry to have to tell you that I don't really think it's expected for a 4 month old to sleep all night long:( The definition of "sleeping through the night" is actually only a 5 hour stretch. My second child did not sleep through the night until he was about 1.5 years old and still does not always sleep all night. I hope your little one becomes a good sleeper soon, but she is not out of the ordinary. If possible I might avoid the gas drops during the day so her body can learn to deal with gas by itself, maybe that will help at night.