4-Year-old Seems Obssesed with Food?

In an effort to NOT give a child an eating disorder, women often think they are not supposed to say ANYTHING about food.

While over-discussing food and weight can certainly have negative consequences, the alternative should not be to NEVER discuss food and healthy eating.

I think a low-key approach is best. You should be able to discuss your child's food choices just as you would discuss any other aspects of her behavior. The emphasis should be on health, not weight.

Don't make a big deal out of it, only stock your home with healthy, low-cal food (for the most part, there should be some treats occasionally), don't give her seconds (if she waits a few minutes she will find she isn't hungry) and when food is discussed just talk about the health aspect of it. Too much food isn't healthy, too much sugar isn't healthy, eating too few veggies isn't healthy, etc.

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I think the first thing to determine, if possible, has she been self directed with her eating in the past. Or has she been encouraged to take another bite when she indicates she's full. It's a common issue that parents make their children eat when they say they don't want more. It causes the child to quit observing their body. She's probably old enough to ask her to wait for seconds for a couple of minutes to see what her tummy tells her.

What other tasks does she do. It may be that she really enjoys playing with and handling food. I would recommend as others have that she have only healthy choices. What's the big deal if your child is snacking away on carrots? But if it's crackers and boxed items, well, not ideal.

I actually battle with the fact that grandparents regularly bring in CRAP to my house. They feel the boys are missing out. I had to argue with MIL that it's not ok to have 2 cupcakes a day. Especially, when they won't hardly eat. (my guys are opposite. They are quite thin. I can't afford for their calories to be nutritionally empty. On occassion they get a treat, I don't want them deprived either.

Further, I would talk to her pedi (over the phone she doesn't need to hear it) that you're concerned about her weight and that she seems obsessed with food. Get a quick checkup and see if he/she thinks you have a real issue.

Furthermore, and this is the hard part. What example are you showing her? I struggle with my weight too and I'm realizing that I had better get it together or I'm going to pass on some bad habits.

So no judgement. Sit back and evaluate yourself. Are you modeling the kind of behavior that you want her to pick up? How about DH, In-laws, etc. Good luck! And remember... not all chubby little kids grow up to be obese. They have stages they go through like all of us.

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How about offering her choices when she is hungry. Would you like __________ or __________
I started doing this when my daughter wasn't selecting good healthy snacks for herself. She'd love to eat ice cream, cookies, chips, or candy (Things my mom, who lives with us, buys.), but once I started offering her a choice, she started saying she wasn't hungry, which I suspected, or taking the treat she wanted.

I also made sure kid portioned snacks were available in the bottom drawer of the frig. I told her when ever she is hungry she can get something from that drawer. Sometimes the grapes disappear in a day or two and sometimes they were tossed out.

After all the healthy food has gone in (hang a chart with the realistic amount of fruit/veggies and grains), then a treat can happen. If that happens at dinner (last healthy required goes in), then dessert can happen. If it happens by lunch, afternoon snack can be a treat.

I also slip veggies into some treats. I make cookies and cakes with pureed spinach. She knows it and loves it. Spake and Spookies are her favorite treat. She wants to make Spice cream (spinach ice cream). Maybe this weekend.

Offer good choices, tons of outside running around, and be a role model for her.

Stephanie

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Hi T.,

First of all, good for you for even thinking about the health of your daughter! You probably know, as an R.N. that kids naturally know when they are hungry and that studies show that it's okay to eat frequently in a day, as long as snacks are healthy, nourishing and stay at under 200 calories.

That said, have you thought about how much she moves every day? Does she watch a lot of t.v. or tend to want to stay inside when it's a beautiful day? Maybe all she needs is to be a little more active?

I am a fitness instructor that works with kids and their families as well. Parents frequently ask me the same question about their children that you have posted. I agree that the habits children form now will take them into adulthood, though it doesn't mean that less-than-healthy habits can't be changed. Although I am not sure that your daughter has any habits that need reforming.

What I do know is that it's recommended that children get about 30 minutes a day of exercise and this could be something as simple as playing outside. Exercise doesn't have to be structured! Do you take walks together or exercise together as a family? Maybe this is all she needs to curb her appetite or keep her mind from fixating on food.

If you are at all interested, my company runs p.e.-style family fitness classes for kids 18M to 4 Y and 3 to 6Y and their parents. They are called Moms' Gym Preschool fitness and Kindersport. You and your daughter are welcome to try out a free class. You would come and play together and both get a workout. There's even a class for dads called Gym Daddy. We play age-appropriate p.e.-style games that encourage child development as well.
Feel free to visit www.moms-gym.com for more info.

Otherwise, I would get one of those plastic balls from the grocery store that is about $1.50 and go to the park or your back yard and throw it or kick it back and forth with your daughter. Let her come up with games for you to play. Remember, she will continue to move if she is having fun. Good luck and please let me know how it goes.

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Hi T.

I know how you feel, I have the same problem. My daughter is exactly the same height and weight as your daughter, and is also 4 (nearly 5) but wears age 6 -7 clothes.
I am tall, and I always knew from my build and height that I was never going to have a little petite child, but my daughter has been bigger than average since birth. I have had some nasty comments in the past, particularly when she was a baby, as she was very chubby. She isn't chubby now, just a sturdy child, very healthy and active. She has just started Kindergarten and when she comes home, she does nothing but eat from the time she gets here until bedtime. I am as careful as I can be, and we have one rule. Start with 2 pieces of fruit - stick to this as much as you can. Then work down the snack list - rasins, carrot sticks, crackers and cheese, yoghurt. Keep the cookies and chips until she has run out of healthier options. Keep her moving, go for a walk, a play at the park, anything to get her body moving, and her mind off the snacks. I have noticed such a difference this year in my daughters body shape, just from upping the 'exercise'. It's good for you, too. Have fun together.

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Is she bored. I have found with all my kids, that when they get bored they would want a snack or something to drink. Also, there is nothing wrong with discussing smart food choices with her. I have 3 year old twin girls and I tell them that certain foods are not good for you and sometimes they can make you sick. Also, choosing the right foods to bring home, especially foods for snacks. Eliminating chips, fruit snacks, candies or sodas is a good start. Making sure to provide apples, oranges, bananas, cheese, crakers, yogurt is good. That way she can choose, but whatever she chooses is something good for her body. We are doing such a favor to our children by teaching them healthy food choices, and you can never start too soon. When my 11 year old went away for camp this past summer I hoped that she would remember to eat right. She had spending money and they had a snack shak there. When she came home she said that during the entire week she had one candy bar, and one soda just because they had run out of water. I was so thankful that over these years she has learned. I do not believe in depriving kids of treats, I just make sure that they stay as treats.

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I would say, since she appears to be hungry all the time, that it is important to ONLY give her healthy food if possible. Have lots of fruits & vegetables cut up & ready to eat. Maybe some healthy grains to help her feel full. Good luck, I know it's hard but it's very important not to make her feel bad about being hungry. It is entirely possible that she just does not feel full the same as other people. Take care, C.

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You have already gotten a lot of advice but I have to chime in as I sympathize. My just turned 4 year old is similar in her stature and it's hard to me to accept bc my whole family is so thin and we've always been able to eat 5 pieces of cake a day no problem. Even my husband's family is not overweight but they're heavier boned. And they're very tall. So I worry a lot about my daughters. I think advice about only healthy food in the house etc makes sense but I also think that you should ask your doctor about her constant thinking about food. My kids eat much more than plenty of kids and my oldest (4) always wants sweets but I wouldn't say she's so focused on eating in general like your daughter sounds. If on the rare occassion we have a cake in the house, sure. She'll ask about it a lot. But not on a daily basis when we don't have something special. So her focus does seem a bit odd. Only other things I'd say are to not completely deprive her of sweets. We allow 5 tiny jelly beans and 1 marshmellow every night bc I think complete depravation can make it worse. But I did start a rule that if she even mentions them before dinner is over that she loses one every time she mentions it. That worked quickly. It's very hard at this age bc of the tantrums so I think being really consistent is important. And hopefully your husband is supportive. Mine thinks I worry too much. Here's a website that gives where your child falls in percentiles wise. And it looks actually like your daughter is of course high but her weight for height is not out-of-line! http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/usefultools/l/bl_perc_calc...

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I have a similar problem with my 10 yr old son. The problem started when he was about 4 and I just didn't know how to deal with it so now we have to focus on weight loss when I really feel like I could have prevented this if I had taken it more seriously when he was younger. I was thinking it would be a great thing if there was some kind of magnetic or velcro food chart that would allow kids to choose their own foods so they feel as though they have some control over what they eat, but also are making healthy choices. So I searched around the web and found this:
http://www.fatbraintoys.com/toy_companies/simple_memory_a...

On the far right hand side there is a link that says Magic Mealtime Magnet. It is a great chart where kids get to design their character to look like them and choose healthy food magnets to make up their meal. There are even a couple magnets for sweets and exercise. I think I'm even going to get one for my own household! Also I would try and get her involved in shopping and preparing these foods so even if she is thinking and talking about food all the time, it can turn into a good thing. Maybe a healthy little chef! I also saw on a news special on obesity in children where the doctors were saying that even if you have to put cheese or a little ranch on vegetables to get your kids to eat them, then do it. Eventually they will learn to like the vegetables prepared in different ways without the cheese and sauces and they get the fiber, vitamins and minerals they need. Good luck!!! God bless.

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T.:

Good that you have a healthy eater. People come in all sizes.

I, too have been overweight but refuse to obsess about food - I just try to make sure that I eat healthy foods mostly, the unhealthy foods in moderation, and make sure that my family gets exercise as much as possible. We like to: play frisbee, soccer, kickball, dance our butts off, go for a walk, bike ride or scooter.

Food is only one part of the equation in being healthy. Maybe your daughter will become a chef and she is a "foodie" at heart. Have you tried cooking or baking with her? I bet that she would love it. My 6 year son has been cooking with us since he was about 2- stirring, measuring (also teaches math, too), chopping, pouring, etc. It is fun and teaches them a skill at a young age.

Good luck and try worry a little less.

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give her food whenever she wants it. however, offer her only low-calorie, healthy snacks when she's hungry between meals. carrot sticks, hummus, celery, oranges, etc. that way she will never be denied food when she wants it, and food won't become a power struggle. if she's hoping to get unhealthy "treats" between meals she'll gradually learn that she won't get them. if she's truly hun gry she'll eat the carrot sticks. and the more carrot sticks, the better, right? good luck and let us know what happens.

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Dear T.,
My, it seems there are so many questions regarding eating recently.
I think you should be very glad that your daughter is a good eater. Just make sure that she eats healthfully, gets plenty of rest and exercise, and water.
Some people just happen to absolutely love food. My son is one of them. He is 13 years old and a fabulous cook. He wants to be a chef with his own restaurant someday and I can see him making it happen.
I actually think it's cute that your daughter asks what you will be having for the next meal.
You can ask her what she would like to have. Maybe make a dinner menu and go to the market together. Let her help you shop and then let her help you prepare it.
If she says she wants ice cream or something like that's obviously a NO. But you can still start a dialog with her about why, although it would be great to have ice cream for dinner, our bodies need healthy things. Ice cream is a treat, it's not the same as a meal.
From the time my kids were SUPER little, when we went to the store, we always went to the produce aisle first. I told them that they could pick absolutely anything from that section that they wanted and I would buy it for them. I told them they could pick anything but they had to try it when we got home. It never failed. And there is so much fun to be had in the produce section! All the different colors and textures! All the wonderful things that can grow from the earth!
Trying new things doesn't necessarily mean a kid will like them, but if they get to pick them out and be part of the preparation, they usually tend to be more interested in at least trying it.
It sounds like you are super busy, but maybe one day a week you and your daughter can plan a special dinner for the family together.

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Hi- A little different perspective. My youngest daughter (now 6) has always been really food focused. She's lucky in having her parents genetic body type which is pretty lean now but very skinny throughout childhood. She has never been overweight and hovers around 50% in weight. That being said she has always been really into eating. Since baby/toddlerhood she will eat just about anything and is constantly asking for food, snacks and the next meal. She is active and eats mostly very healthy food but wants to eat throughout the day. I think it's OK to just say no. I noticed at a young age if there wasn't something going on she wanted food, if she had just eaten I would offer a book, walk or other activity and the distraction would be enough to make her forget her previously extreme "hunger". I think kids sometimes look to food as an activity in itself (who wouldn't want to eat all day?) and maybe actual hunger is really secondary to the act of eating. If she seems really adamant that she is hungry (and it's not snack or mealtime) I'll offer the most healthy thing I can think of, carrot sticks or fruit and NOTHING else until the next regular meal or snack. Not only does it keep her from loading up before the real meal but I think it teaches her a little delayed gratification. Sometimes, amazingly she isn't as "starving" as she thought since often she doesn't take me up on the veggies/fruit. Let's face it kids aren't going to starve waiting for dinner or the next meal. Also, I see you're an RN so you probably know this but cutting out a lot if not all meat products and switching to veggie alternatives cuts out a huge amount of fat/calories so she can eat more volume with less weight gain. I also read labels like a hawk. Almost no traditional grocery store snack foods, even yogurt, juice & some cereals have a ton of sugar in them. Shopping at a health food store or Trader Joe's makes it a lot easier to find the food they want in a more healthy version. You are smart to help her establish great eating habits now, as other Mom's have said it'll be much easier to establish healthy eating now then when she's older and spends more time away from you. Good luck!

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Planning what is coming in the next meal? That is kinda cool that your 4 year old is planning.... if only you could re-direct that interest. You have already recieved a ton of great advice, but I wanted to let you know I have heard of a kid like this (a bit older) on another mom's list so you are not alone!
UCSF has this program that you might be able to pickup some useful ideas from.
http://www.shapedown.com/
While it was developed by one of their nutruition professors, a lot of it works with the idea that the kids need alternative emotional strategies. I am probably over simplifying it, but a bit like the kids are self soothing with food and need to work on healthly alternatives.

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T., I am a pre school teacher and I deal alot with different childrens eating habits. I would try to have your daughter help you pre pare one snack or meal a day. Use measuring cups etc... so she can see apropriate serving sizes. This is also fun and a great way to introduce math concepts. One thing I know that will help your daughter is eating at the same time everyday. Usually when the kids start here in the beggining of the year they are all on different eating schedules and it takes a little time to get them all insync. Eating at the same time everyday will set her biological clock to be hungry at certain times of the day. Kids usually can't go for more than 3hrs. and need some sort of protein source to help them last to the next meal. Keeping active is a no brainer but I've found that children especially love to swim. If your daughter is on the heavy side swimming in comforting warm water would allow her to feel active and weightless. It takes an average of 14 to 16 times for children to accept a new food. Keep a post it note on the fridge and mark everytime you feed her say brocoli. Tell her she has to have it one her plate but she doesn't have to eat it. or suggest trying a taste and if she doesn't like it than spit it out in a napkin. Exposing her over and over to the food will help her see the food as less foreign.

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Lots of great advice!! One thought--maybe she's substituting food for activity. What are her daily activities? Is she in preschool? if not, is she being kept stimulated mentally and physically at home--away from food. Trips to the park, digging in the sand, drawing, age appropriate workbooks, playdough, etc. One of my kids favorite activities was painting--I'd fill up 4-5 tupperware containers with water and add different food colors. I'd give them some cheap paint brushes and they'd go to work "painting" the house. It didn't do anything to the house--just got it wet. But they were outside in the sunshine and moving their bodies. Keep her busy. My older son was a "husky" child. He didn't obsess about food but just ate a lot. He was always short for his age, and now is only 5'5" at 16, but is a slender, muscular young man. I got him involved at 5 in martial arts and he went a couple days a week--he now goes everyday. We got him involved in other sports that were age appropriate--gymnastics, t-ball, soccer, etc.--try different sports. All the exercise might help burn some calories without really focusing on the weight issue.

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Hey T. -

As a big, curvy girl with two big, healthy kids (always 90th percentile in height and weight), here's my advice:

Teach her to cook. :)

Obviously, you'd start with having her fix her own snacks -- fun and healthy things like ants on a log (peanut butter on a celery stick with raisins). You might even come up with a little recipe file for her, where you put cards with pictures on them. She can pull out a snack, and assemble the ingredients, and then ask for your help in putting it together (until she can do it on her own). This gives her a creative outlet and teaches her a great skill at the same time. (Can you tell I was a chef once? LOL!)

I let my kids help themselves to snacks as long as they ask me first, and tell me what they are going to have. There are some snacks they may always have, without permission -- fruit and veggies -- which I always have available (and yes, they actually eat it!!)

Lastly, and most importantly -- BANISH ALL JUNK FOOD. Choose nuts, dried fruits, whole grain breads and crackers, lower sugar cereals, low-sugar/low-fat snack bars, lower fat cheese sticks, hummus, peanut butter, sunflower seed butter, lots of different fruits and veggies, low fat yogurt, low-fat/lower-carb tortillas, low-fat ranch dressing.

If there is no junk food in the house -- kids learn to make better choices.

Best,

J.

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Hello T.,

I use to make alot of "healthy" snack for my daughter when she was younger. I would give her alot of veggies and fruit, which could be the best snack for your child. I also would put alot of veggies in her food, mixed rice with veggies, made lumpia / spring rolls which was 50-60% veggies (run once through the food processor), lagazana etc... I also cut in half the sugar and fat (cheezes) for most prepared meals.
Good Luck,
Hugs
L.

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My daughter was very much like this when she was 4 years old. She is now 21 and continues to fight a battle with her weight. However, what we did when she was growing up was to be sure that we only had healthy food in the house. That way, when she wanted a snack, she could have a piece of fruit or some carrot sticks. When she worried about what we were having for dinner, I would tell her to let it be a surprise and not think about it. She could not help herself; food has always been very important to her. At 21, my daughter must undertake daily exercise in order to control her weight. I don't think she'll ever be thin, but she will be healthy. Best wishes.

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I don't have much to offer you since I don't know much about weight issues (except even us stick thin size 1 jeans in high school girls have to deal with unwanted flab and impossible to shed extra pounds after having a couple of kids and aging a bit! Not ever having to exercise back then meant not developing any interest in exercise doesn't help now either!) but I just wanted to commend you for your question. I applaud you for taking such a healthy concern/ interest in your child's future path and I think you are very caring and sensible about it all. She will likely do the very best with a mother with such a precautionary positive attitude! Good luck!

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T.~It sounds like you are speaking of my oldest daughter (now 11) I must say she was always a"bigger" girl and quite frankly she still is however she has grown out of her chubbiness---she was 21 pounds at 6 months and to be honest...she loves to eat! Still--- but she has learned that there are some things that she can eat lots of and some things that need to be limited! She is built like my husband, very big boned and we were just at the doctor and she still is off the charts, she is 5' 4" 140 lbs and just turned 11 but she is proportioned...eating is always on her mind and she loves to cook...maybe my next Rachel Ray! ;) Good luck just try to not make her self conscious about it as everybody else will do a good job of that for you! Kepp healthy snacks in the house---that way if she's eating at least it is good for her.

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You've gotten lotsa good advice here but my question is: what does your ped. say? Is she/he concerned? If not & if your daughter is active, then I say just try to make sure she has healthy snacks. Our older son is big, 4'3" & weighs about 70 lbs. & is 8 yrs old. He does not have a tire or any extra flab. He runs on his cross country team 2x/wk & has swim lessons 2x/wk plus plays very actively at recess times. He was also thinking about food a lot & wanting lotsa snacks so I started asking him if he was bored or if he was actually hungry. Many times, he said he was bored & wouldn't want to snack. If he was hungry I offered him applesauce, cheese or some yogurt. Luckily, he doesn't have a sweet tooth & rarely wants cookies....mostly wants salty stuff. I have the only kid who will not eat any of his Halloween candy! We have talked about what's healthy & what's not, & we, hubby & I, try to set a good example of eating & exercising. Maybe when she asks for a snack, distact her w/an activity. If she asks again in after a bit, then you'll no she probably is a little hungry. I know how you feel when you look at her peers & they're all such string beans or you hear their parents talk about how hard it is to get them to eat which is not a problem either of us have so, I say be glad of it but watchful, as well. Good luck!

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Have you established regular eating times? If not, that's one thing I believe would help. The nutritional guidelines suggest breakfast, a morning snack, lunch, and afternoon snack and then dinner. Five 'meals' a day with a spacing of approximately 2 hours between them seems to work well for children (and for adults too). Establish a rule that there is no eating in between those five times, and be sure she sits down at a table with her food. You sit with her and make it a nice time of conversation as well as eating. Snacks should consist of something like a few crackers, fruit and milk or water to drink. Teaching her how to eat slowly and in a relaxed way may be helpful to the digestive system, and therefore help to control the weight gain. I use a guideline of sitting for 15 minutes at snack and half an hour at lunch. That helps keep the child from just sitting and eating too much, but also helps to control the tendency some have of gobbling their food and being ready to leave the table too soon. I tell the children it isn't just a time to eat, but also a time to socialize and talk with each other.

You've said you try to serve good nutritional foods. You might also want to look more into the hidden things in foods that we never suspect as being problems. Use fresh fruits and veggies whenever possible, and frozen otherwise. Avoid canned, because the things put in them to preserve them are usually high in salt and/or sugar. Use whole grains rather than refined. If you are using whole milk, consider 2% or even skim milk. Avoid a lot of juices as they don't require the digestion process that whole fruits and veggies do, therefore tend to help us put on weight. Do as much cooking from 'scratch' as you can rather than the box mixes that are so handy. Those also contain a lot of hidden stuff that isn't good for us.

One last thing, if you do make it at all a weight issue with her, you could make it a family weight issue, and tell her you are all going to try to eat in a more healthy way... and follow through by truly making it a 'team' effort. That means you observe the five 'meal' a day routine as well as having her do it. And, I don't think I can overemphasize the importance of sitting together as a family in these meals. BTW, sitting at a table rather than in front of the TV is also helpful. I know how easy it is to eat while watching TV, but it's worth the effort to make it a family meal around the table if you aren't doing that already.

I hope some of this is useful to your situation. I know it isn't easy to change habits, and food seems to be a big downfall for a lot of us.

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What is it that she wants to eat? Is it healthy? Is she wanting to snack on junk food. If so, cut the junk out completely...junk food is a treat and she should understand that. The more junk she gets, the more she will crave it. Try making a chart for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. Talk to her about a balanced meal and have her help create the chart with balanced meals. For each day allow as many veggies as she would like, 5 servings of fruit, 3 servings of protein, 3-5 servings of carbs (pasta, bread, crackers). Each time she eats have her check off the type of item it is. Make it a game, not an obsession about the food. If she starts to understand that healthy food gives you "good energy" and helps you run, dance, etc. and that junk food gives you "bad energy" she can start thinking about healthier choices. I always talk to my 4 1/2 yr old about how her body thanks her when she eats healthy. Her tummy says thank you to the broccoli because it will make her muscles strong so she can run fast and dance so beautifully, her hair shiney and long, her eyes bright and sparkley...and I go on and on in a fun and silly way so she can understand. My daughter is also an eater....and she does love treats. I limit them and let her grab fruit and veggies whenever she wants... I also have them out and readily available so she can reach them. She still has to ask to eat them, but they are at her own eye level. There is no junk food insight. Out of sight and hopefully out of mind. With all that said.....if she is a healthy eater and is obsessing about her next meal, talk to her doctor. I don't think that children who are physically active and eat a healthy, balanced diet are overweight. Junk food is the culprit. Limiting the amount of junk along with portion control (one serving size is the size of her little fist) is crucial.
Good luck

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Hi T.. I totally understand what you're going through. My son has just turned 4 last month and he is about 48 1/2" tall and weighs 60lbs. My Dr gave me a hard time when he was a baby but when he turned 2 he said "oh he's just big". The Dr nowadays is not concerned with his weight at all. She said he has huge bones (his knee bones are almost as big as mine!) ..so she's not worried..I'm the one who's concerned.. more with his eating habits! He loves to be active but he also thinks he has to eat all the time! What I've been doing lately is distracting him from food. If he asks me for something to eat and I know he's just eaten or eaten within a couple of hours I say ok and if I'm not doing something already I'll start doing something and he forgets.. or I'll give him some water. Also I put out a vegetable plate that he can snack on throughout the day instead of him asking for processed snacks. I know what you're going through!! Good luck!

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Hi, I noticed one thing that made a big difference with my son. We started doing it when he was two, and since your daughter is four, it may not be practical or work, but for what it's worth...

I noticed my son wanted to eat what my husband and I were eating. I never eat candy in front of him or drink soda in front of him (I have bad eating habits, but I save them for naptime and after he goes to bed). He eats at scheduled times for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He gets two scheduled snacks in between. I give him a choice of two or three things. He gets to choose his breakfast and lunch in he same manner, but has to eat what we eat for dinner. There was resistance at first. But when we stopped snacking and eating junk he stopped asking for it. He didn't like the schedule at first, but now he's used to it and eats pretty normally (whatever that means). I wish you well.
N.

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I don't have this particular problem - I have more of a picky eater problem. But someone else in this group recommended the book, "Child of Mine" by Ellen Satter for feeding issues. I read the book and loved the philosophy. You'd be surprised by her advice for dealing with "chubby" kids. Basically, it is her philosophy with dealing will ALL kids. It sort of boils down to, "Let them eat as much as they want of whatever they want (that you provide for them) at regular snack and mealtimes, and only water in between". There is more information about kids who are overly focused on food, and I think it is definitely worth reading. I have had some success implementing her plan - as a parent I am still working on consistency!

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My 7 year old was starting to get a little chunky and he is kind of short too. I was finding he wasn't eating his whole lunch at school and coming home starving and trying to eat everything in sight! I give him healthy choices and of course he gets his share of sweets. I try to give him healthy sweet choices too. Like if he wants ice cream, I suggest a smoothie, I make them with plain yogurt, fruit ect. He also likes vanilla yogurt with granola. I try really hard to make sure he gets out and runs around, excersies etc... I myslef do not always make healthy choices and I am a bit overweight, but pretty tall. My son would ask for seconds alot or want to finish what his skinny minnie hardly eats anything sister didn't finish. I found myself letting him, now as the 1st responder has suggested, I have him wait a little bit and then half the time after his meals or snacks have settled he isn't really hungry anymore! I commend you on wanting to take care of this now while your child is young and being conscious about her health and weight, I have seem so many parents not take the time to care or change things and have seen thier children's weight get out of control and then the child has health issues! I have a friend with this problem and doesn;t see it as a problem, in the end the child is the one who pays! One more thing then I will start rambling.. I also started to look for healthy alternative meals to cook that the kids would like, last week I made chicken nuggets with corn flakes, flour, and some other ingredients, then instead of frying them I baked them and made homemade fries, in the oven also, cut up apples and gave the kids a little knick knack and they thought it was better than McDonalds! You can even add a fruit smoothie as a milk shake! Good luck! I will be following your responses to see if I can use any of them fot my son! KEEP UP THE AWESOME parenting!

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I'd talk to a dietician and her pediatrician. You want to make sure she does not head down a path that leads to diabetes,high cholesterol, etc. They will have the best advice for you. Don't keep any junk food in the house, don't buy snacks when you go on errands (ie-Target Cafe, Jamba Juice, ice cream shop, Costco Cafe...), and don't make it a habit to reward her regularly with sweet treats (she'll only learn to expect them and they add unnecessary calories). Keep her active and out of the house with activities so she won't have time to keep planning her next meal. Explain to her that because you have such a busy family, you need to make nutrition count--advice we should all use. You might just need some really low calorie, healthy snack ideas. I'm guessing someone who has done Weight Watcher points can give you some ideas, plain popcorn comes to mind. Best of luck to you. Sorry I don't have more advice.

One option is to keep stocked up on crunchy fruits and vegies, so anytime she asks for a snack you could hand her a cut up apple or celery, she can eat these almost all day long and be okay.

It is difficult since every child grows at his or her own pace I raised a child who was almost 5 feet tall in the 4th grade. Your child may just be growing. My daughter would go through fazes where she would eat anything and everything for awhile get chubby then she would stop get really, really cranky then she would grow a half an inch over night and this continued more or less until she was 13 and then she was just cranky.

So before you start thinking something is wrong try to remember how you grew and ask your husband too, you may find that she comes by it naturally. Try to have her snacks be supportive of growth such as low fat protien, vegies, friut... And if you are really concerned try to gently distract her, or use a gradually increasing delay. Like saying in a little bit and then give her a snack then gradually increase the "little bit". But I wouldn't worry.

T.,

Lots of good advice from many people that I can't really top. I just suggest to be sure your daughter also gets plenty of exercise. If she's moving a lot, and this could just be running around in your backyard, she'll burn lots of calories, too. Ironically, it may even slightly cut her appetite; after sports her thirst should increase, meaning a nice, big glass of water before dinner, and that's a great way to feel a little less hungry. As she ages, maybe even an organized sport activity could be of interest to her, and you can be sure to back this up with those energy foods she'll understand she needs. Good luck.

Please just continue you with healthy snacks and 3 meals a day. I didn't do that and my daughter is the most picky eater and only wants fast food or junk. She is 14 and not overweight but has the genes and may struggle later in life. You dont have to obcess just keep it healthy and get her into liking exercise and playinmg outdoors not just sitting in front of the tv. You can start with a family walk after dinner which will be fun quality time and good for all of you. A oicnic at a little park is fun too.

Just a thought -- I remember reading some articles recently about how lack of sleep (or not enough sleep) can lead to the body secreting more hormones (I don't recall the names) that cause the body to feel hungry.

Is your daughter getting all the sleep she needs? You may want to ask your pediatrician about this.

I noticed with all of my kids that the more physically active they were, the more they slept. Maybe being active does more than just burn calories...

I recently watched "I can make you thin" on cable. I wonder if you could find or buy this prgram. It was all about teaching yourself, concious and sub-concious, how to feel about food. It's a lot psychological. In my opinion, you should teach her to overcome her eating issues now, but you need the tools to do so.

It also sounds to me like you are doing a great job as a mommy. dont relax on this issue. Keep on it/her until you are within your comfort zone food wise. Best of luck.

Whatever you do, do NOT give her snacks, even healthy ones, everytime she wants them. It's not about the type of food. It's about the eating habits.

I can give you the basics of the program, but this is a much longer e mail :) Send a message if you are interested.

You've already gotten a lot of great advice and I have one more thing I didn't see, but maybe I missed. One of the reasons a lot of people (not just kids) are taking in more calories than they need in our society is our bodies are trying to get all the nutrition it needs and unfortunately our current produce that isn't organic doesn't have nearly as much vitamins and nutrients in them as they once did 50 years ago before the change in our agriculture. Even some organic produce doesn't have enough nutrients due to the soil having been leeched of it during prior farming practices.

My kids and I all take vitamins (they take Nutristars from Vitamin Shoppe) so I know they are getting all they need for vitamins and minerals as well as we buy organic. My kids eat pretty small portions unless they are going through a growth spurt. However, it is normal for kids to eat little bits here and there all throughout the day. It keeps there energy and blood sugar steady.